SchutzHappens

Day 1274: The Chair, Part 43 – The Gumtree

2012-01-15T10:00:00.002-05:00

So… the night I assembled the IKEA chair, I went to bed with a sense of accomplishment. My mission was complete. I had fought for the chair, carried it through the city on a cold and rainy evening… I had earned a well deserved rest. And honestly, I was exhausted. Between Costello’s visit, work, entertaining Grayson, and the chair… I was beat… and the night I assembled the chair I went to bed early.

I just wish Serena had gone to bed as well.

No… Serena stayed up… she surfed the net… and her unspoken dissatisfaction in the chair I slaved away to get, led her to www.gumtree.com, London’s CraigsList equivalent. And by the time I woke up the next day my sense of accomplishment and a job well done had long passed… upon hearing Serena’s desire to get a different chair, those positive feelings were replaced by dread and frustration… and a headache… I’m pretty sure a headache was involved.

Now, I will admit. The IKEA rocking chair was a piece of garbage. The chair itself was too wide and deep to be an effective nursing chair and the rocking blades were almost flat making the chair more like a ‘wobbler’ than a rocker. So, in all actuality I don’t blame Serena for being dissatisfied in the least. I totally understood. The IKEA ‘wobbling’ chair was a massive disappointment for me as well.

However, my body was not ready to embark on another chair misadventure… especially since I had already been on one Gumtree mission prior to Costello’s arrival.

You see, besides a stroller and a nursing chair… we also needed a bassinet. And by the time Costello arrived I had already been on an across town adventure to purchase a second hand, waist high, all wood bassinet Serena found on Gumtree.

Now, the trip for the bassinet wasn’t nearly as dramatic as my trip to IKEA, which is probably why I have shared it until now.

I only had to take a couple buses to an area of town I was already, kind of, familiar with and the couple selling us the bassinet only lived about two blocks from the bus stop. And in fact, the worst part of this expedition was lugging the bassinet those two blocks... not because the bassinet was too heavy, although it would have been easier with two people, but because it was a pretty awkward carry… especially since I had to balance the legs inside the basket in such a way so they didn’t slide through the slats and onto the ground. I didn’t even mind the bus rides home. Sure I had to wait thirty minutes for one of them, but it was a very quiet and pleasant evening, so there weren’t too many people to contend with and my final stop was right across the street from our flat.

So… altogether, this trip wasn’t bad at all; which is probably why I agreed to go to IKEA… plus Costello was there to help and having an extra hand made the trip sound more attractive. Which… I admit… in hindsight, was a total mistake.

Anyway, on the heels of the bassinet and IKEA… I just wasn’t about to lug another piece of furniture through London’s public transportation system. If Serena wanted a different chair… we were going to need another method of procurement.

Because this JohnPaul was exhausted… and tired of being ripped off.

… If only there was room in my life for both… rest and reasonably priced nursery furniture. However, there wasn’t room for either.

Day 1272: The Chair, Part 43 – The Screwdriver

2012-01-13T10:00:00.002-05:00

Well, it is a new year… and I would like to claim that my new year’s resolution is to be more active on SchutzHappens again, I really would. I’ve certainly slowed down on my posts since leaving Pakistan… and I besides ‘The Chair’ I really do have a lot of stories to share.

But honestly, I can’t make any promises.

You see, over the last few years I’ve been working on a novel and I am determined to complete it and self-publish on Kindle this year. And with this shift in focus… I probably won’t post of SchutzHappens quite a much, but for those of you who are avid readers, you’ve undoubtedly already noticed this.

But then again, there is something to be said about quality over quantity. So, in its essence and heart, SchutzHappens is exactly what it has always been… but you’ll probably only get a piece once or twice a week rather than almost every day, like I had been doing.

But, in any case, as always, thanks for reading!

The Chair, Part 43 - The Screwdriver

One thing I should probably mention about our epic journey to IKEA is that it was the last day of Costello’s visit… probably not the best way to end his vacation... but we did get to see a lot while he was in town. I had taken a few days off from work and we tore the city apart. BTW: the Churchill War Rooms Museum is one of the more interesting places I’ve ever been… not just in London… but worldwide. If you find yourself in London make sure you got there. You’ll thank me!

Anyway, Costello flew back to Atlanta without incident and the task of putting the chair together fell to me… and the best helper any dad could ask for: Grayson, the soon to be big brother.

Now, leading up to this, I was no stranger to putting together IKEA furniture. I’m pretty visual and handy, so putting things together with only pictures never really bothered me. However, when it comes to IKEA furniture I was accustom to one thing… having it come with everything I needed to build it… not just the hardware, but the tools as well. And sure, when I opened ‘The Chair’ I did find the hardware and an allen-wrench… but I also noticed that some of the screws had Phillips-heads on them… and after taking a quick glance at the directions I noticed that a screwdriver was needed for assembly… a screwdriver that was not included in the box.

Hmmm… well… being that we were only temporarily in London and I hadn’t really planned on doing anything overly ambitious with my time there, I hadn’t packed any of my tools for the trip. So… yeah… I was pretty stuck.

“Luckily”… and I’m using quotes because I don’t believe anything is lucky in this story, but we just happened to be living in a flat over a hardware store… on Baker Street… in a not so cheap part of town. They, of course, had a screwdriver for sale… and… well… it only cost about £18.00… which was close to $30.00 at the time. And well… after everything I had already gone through to get ‘The Chair’ in the first place, I really didn’t have a choice. So… I bought it… begrudgingly.

Grayson was a wonderful assistant, as seen in our family video posted on Day 572. We quickly assembled the chair and Serena took it for a test drive… and… well… she didn’t like it. At all. She didn’t want it… and as the video on Day 572 reveals… she set out to find a new chair.

Day 1266: SchutzHappens, December 2011 - "Don't Stop Believin'"

2012-01-07T10:00:00.002-05:00

Day 1259: Second Annual ‘Hug Against Hate’ Award – Matt Harding

2011-12-31T10:00:00.003-05:00

Well, I know I promised to only post ‘The Chair’ until it’s done… but seriously. There is no end in sight and I should probably spin the whole story off onto its own dedicated blog, but by the time I have time to do that, the story will be close to over anyway… so please, forgive the interruption.

Anyway, today is my birthday! Happy birthday to me!

And if you read the blog last year, you’ll know that I have decided to do something different, in relation to the blog, every year on my birthday. Here is a quote from last year’s post:

“I would focus on something more positive. After all, it’s the end of the year, so why don’t we honor someone who is doing something amazing to unite the world? There are tons of people doing incredibly simple, yet powerfully inspiring work that should be recognized. So, from now on, on my birthday, I’m going to give out the ‘SchutzHappens Hug Against Hate’ Award”

And in keeping with that tradition, I would like to close the year honoring video game developer Matt Harding, who is best known dancing horribly all around the world.

Now, I’ve talked about Matt, and his website www.wherethehellismatt.com a couple times on SchutzHappes (Day 712 and Day 798) and I just can’t get over his amazing spirit and sense of humor. I highly recommend everyone visit his website’s ‘About Me’ page. And you should also check out his ‘Journal’.

And if you aren’t familiar with his hilariously simple, yet awe-inspiring, contribution to making this world a smaller place and his dedication to getting American’s to travel abroad more… you should really check out his videos:

Amazing simple, right? Did you get goose bumps? I always do and I’ve seen his videos a lot. Interestingly enough, Matt has started lecturing about his travel experiences and talking about how he’s able to bring so many people together to make such silly internet videos. Has now has an entire lecture series available on youtube, but this is his first quick and dirty talk:

BTW: Matt welcomed a new member to his family, his son Max, on April 30^th… which is way cooler than my silly little award.

Congratulations Matt and keep on trucking! Kids are very adaptable to traveling as long as you just do it! (Although traversing international airports with children is probably the most stressful thing you will ever do, but it’s totally worth it!

Day 1251: The Chair, Part 42 – The Cushion

2011-12-23T10:00:00.005-05:00

It didn’t take us long to fine aisle 21. And they even had a display version of the rocker I wanted at the top of the aisle so Costello and I were able to find the box we needed rather quickly.

However… there was a problem.

The whole point of going to IKEA in the first place, despite our blood sweat and tears, was to get the best possible deal. And for those of you familiar with IKEA and their ‘Poang’ series of arm chairs, you’ll know that the chair, itself, is nothing more than a frame and pretty much useless without a cushion… and the cushions are sold separately.

At the time, IKEA had the plain, off-white, ‘Poang’ cushions on sale for £10, (roughly $15.00). Plus, since the rocking chair frame was also on sale, I was looking to get the whole set for around £75 - £80, (roughly $120.00, which is less than what it costs on IKEA’s website today and way less than the $550.00 a glider chair would cost at Hammond’s Department Store). So yeah, I thought I was getting a great deal, which was why I ventured out to IKEA in the first place!

Well… have you ever heard of a bait and switch? Yeah… well listen to this:

After Costello and I grabbed the box containing the rocking chair frame, we ventured down to the other end of aisle 21 to find the cushions; however, there were not any of the $15.00 plain off-white cushions available, only very expensive printed cushions… all ranging in the £60 - £75 range (roughly $105.00).

In sheer panic and desperation, do to my IKEA delirium and intense cheapness, I continued to look for the cushion I wanted and I noticed two things:

1. IKEA had about 20 ‘Poang’ chairs scattered around the warehouse on display and every single one of them had an off-white cushion with a sign reading, “Only £10!”

2. At the very top of the enormous shelves of aisle 21, I noticed a stack of the off-white cushions I wanted.

So, I ran to get a warehouse clerk who told me, “I’m sorry we are out of those cushions”.

Me: “What about the cushions on the display? I’m more than happy to buy one that is already open.”

Clerk: “No, I am sorry, we can’t sell display models.”

Me: “Well, what about the ones on top of the shelves?”

Clerk: “Where.”

I led the warehouse clerk to where I saw the cushions, perched way at the top of the aisle 21 shelving unit… probably a full story up.

The clerk seems surprised. “It looks like it is your lucky day… I will need to get a crane to get them down.”

“Yes, please, I’ll wait. Thank you!”

I got very excited as I watched the warehouse clerk go over to talk to the crane operator. And Costello went to scope out checkout lines… we were going to make a mad dash as soon as we had a cushion in our hot little hands.

Then… all of a sudden the clerk came back, “I’m sorry, those are not cushion.”

Me: (Shocked)… “Then what are they?”

Clerk: “Mattresses”.

I was terrible confused. “Mattresses? I don’t see any mattresses in this aisle.”

Clerk: “They are up there”.

Me: “No, I mean on display… down low for people to buy.”

Clerk: “That is because mattresses are normally kept on aisle 18.”

Me: “But you are keeping extras in aisle 21?”

Clerk: “Yes sir, I am sorry.”

Me: “Mattresses with cresses in the exact same places as chair cushions?” (I could see the cresses from the floor).

Clerk: (letting go of a nervous laugh), “They are special mattresses for babies.”

Me: “You mean a crib mattress?”

When I threw out the term ‘crib mattress’ the clerk seemed even more uncomfortable… like he had miss judged two random American guys and had been caught in a lie… he quickly said, “I am very busy, I must be going,” and disappeared.

I was stunned. But I was I was stuck. In the States, I would probably have thrown in the towel and worried about it later… but I didn’t know London well enough for back-up options.

Costello was getting antsy because we were burning lots of time.

We had already invested over two hours to get this chair… by God I was not about to go home empty handed. So… I did the math… I could still get the chair frame and the overpriced cushion for around $200.00, which was still a lot less than buying the $550.00 glider chair at Hammonds.

So we grabbed everything we needed, paid, and darted out into the cold rainy night.

We made much better time on the way back… and by the time we got back to my apartment, the rain had stopped… but we didn’t have time to breath, let alone eat… we only had thirty minutes to get across town for out Jack the Ripper Walking Tour.

So we darted back out into the night.

Unfortunately… Costello and I were so cold, tired and hungry that we didn’t really enjoy the tour.

Day 1248: The Chair, Part 41 – ‘Lost’ in IKEA

2011-12-20T10:00:00.003-05:00

I feel bad. If I had know that Costello has never been to an IKEA before I wouldn’t have taken him. I never wanted to be the person who ruins anyone’s world view… but apparently it was meant to be.

We were running late… waiting for the nonexistent IKEA shuttle had set-up us back considerably. And not only did we need to buy the rocking chair… we also needed to take it all the way back through the Underground to our flat in the city, get dinner, and then trek across town to make our ‘Jack the Ripper Walking Tour’ which was scheduled to start at 7pm. It was already 4:30pm… and it had taken us almost two hours to get there. We were on a mission… and we couldn’t be stopped.

As I led Costello through the winding aisle of IKEA, at close to a jogs pace, is when I realized Costello was an IKEA newbie. At my heels he kept asking, “Where are you going?” “Shouldn’t we ask someone?”

At first I just ignored him… focused solely on finding the chair I wanted on the showroom floor.

Costello: “Dude, we need to ask someone!”

Me: (Finally), “You have to trust me; I know what I’m doing.”

Costello became even more confused when I grabbed a pad of paper and a golf pencil off the wall without breaking my stride… and then finally came to a stop at the chair I wanted.

As I wrote down the item number, Costello tried to catch his breath… but then I darted off again. And this time Costello became increasingly confused. “Where are you going!?! You really need to ask someone!”

Me: (Calling behind me), “I know where I’m going, come on!”

Costello: “But the chair was back there!”

Me: “I know, but that was the display model, we need to get to the warehouse!”

Must like my first trip to IKEA, Costello just couldn’t seem to wrap his brain around the experience… especially at the pace we were plodding through. And his confusion and concern heightened every time we turned a corner and found more random displays and bins of stuff: Office furniture… kids bedding… house wares…

Costello: “We’re going the wrong way.”

Me: “No we’re not… you have to trust me. Come on!”

Honestly, it really felt like we were running for thirty minutes. And all the while… with every stride, Costello was the voice of descent… not trusting… not understanding… and I just kept going, unwaivered by his calls to ask for help. And in his disorientation… his only choice was to keep pace and follow.

And then… finally… we rounded a corner and BAM!

We were in the warehouse… Costello stopped for a split second, his jaw opened… and it only took him a second to find his words… “You have to be kidding me…”

Me: “Come on! We need aisle 21!!! Aisle 21!

Day 1236: SchutzHappens, November 2011 - Beautiful Day

2011-12-08T10:00:00.002-05:00

Day 1220: The Chair, Part 40 – The Curse of Being Thrifty

2011-11-22T10:00:00.003-05:00

The lengths Serena and I have gone in order to save a few bucks tend to borderline on the absurd.

In order to save money on our first house, we opted to do the renovations ourselves… although neither of us had ever tiled anything beyond a six inch mosaic square in an art class.

On our first trip overseas (before joining the service and after having Grayson) we decided a 6 hours layover after an 11+ hour flight was doable… since the layover would also come with a minimal cost savings.

While on our six week Home Leave to Atlanta… we decided not to rent a car.

Hey! Let’s setup our own wedding! (The Chair, Part 3)

And when we needed a stroller in London, we ask our friends to bring one with him…

For some reason, when it comes to saving money, Serena and I still behave as if we are poor college kids just trying to scrap by… then again we have two kids and a mortgage payment… so… we might not be in college anymore, although I was in the process of writing my Graduate thesis during the time period of ‘The Chair’, we’re still poor in our own minds.

Although… I prefer the term ‘thrifty’… and someday I hope we learn how to do a cost/benefit analysis… because… well… sometimes the savings isn’t worth it. Like when we need a new rocking chair, because ours is packed in a storage container in Hagerstown, (The Chair, Part 5).

About a week before Costello arrived with our new stroller, Serena and I had been on a quest of our own. To find ‘The Chair’… a rocking or gliding nursing chair… and honestly, they were pretty hard to find… and the ones we did weren’t VERY expensive. The cheapest we could find was at Hammonds, a prominent department store in London, for about £350.00 (roughly $550.00).

Aghast at the price, I suggested we go to IKEA… a suggestion that has become my great folly in life. With Costello at my side, fresh off the plane/bus/train, I would never have been able to predict how ridiculous our adventure would become… and most importantly, the ridiculous number of blog entries I would get out of this horrible period in my life.

The trip to IKEA took an EXTREMELY long time:

The Chair, Part 1

The Chair, Part 4

The Chair, Part 6

The Chair, Part 9

And there we were… on a cold rainy January evening, somewhere outside London, staring up at the behemoth… the worst place ever created by man has ever created (Part 7 and Part 8)… and we were about to walk into the heart of the beast.

Dang it… why do I need to be so darn thrifty all the time!?!

Day 1207: SchutzHappens, October 2011 – ‘Rain On Me’

2011-11-09T10:00:00.000-05:00

Day 1203: The Chair, Part 39 – The Arrival

2011-11-05T10:00:00.003-04:00

I think you’re all eating right.

Today I was planning to post our October Family Video, but just before loading it I noticed something didn’t render correctly… so instead… you get another episode of ‘The Chair’. Lucky you!

So… yeah… Costello spent about seven hours on a full bus with a stroller on his lap… and if this feat of human endurance and commitment weren’t impressive enough on its own, remember, Costello did this right on the heels of some other serious traveling without any sleep.

Now, the timeline has probably seemed a bit farfetched. To be honest this all happened over a year and a half ago and some of the timing is a bit fuzzy. So, for this post I went back and found Costello’s old itinerary and things seem to check out.

He started at 3:40pm (EST) the previous day when he flew from Atlanta to Charlotte. Then, after an hour and a half layover he boarded a second flight leaving at 6:20pm that evening. His scheduled arrival in London was supposed to be 7:20am (3:20am EST) the following day. Roughly 12 hours of ‘normal’ scheduled travel time.

But, as we all know… he didn’t make it to London… for quite some time.

So, with the three hours on the tarmac, two wandering around Manchester airport, and seven on the bus… his travel time is up to 24 hours making that about 7pm London time.

To me, this timing sounds about right based on how my day turned out. You see, as I’ve hinted in previous posts, I had planned to take that day off. I had originally planned to meet Costello at Victoria Station as he got off the Gatwick Express. (In previous posts I might have mentioned Heathrow, however, after reexamining his itinerary, Costello was supposed to land at the Gatwick Airport). And after picking him up, I had planning on just hanging out for the day. However when his flight was diverted to Manchester to wait out the ‘snow storm’ I decided to go to work until he landed safely in Gatwick and boarded the Express… I figured I would only end up putting in a half day… however… I ended up working the entire day. A little after 5pm I walked home.

I probably got home around 5:45ish… and during our time in London, we normally ate dinner about an hour or so after I got home. And that faithful day, Costello called around the tail end of dinner to tell me they were finally pulling into the Gatwick Airport. He called again about twenty minutes later to tell me he had boarded the Gatwick Express. And that is when I left to meet him at Victoria Station.

About 30 or 45 minutes later, Costello arrived in Victoria Station.

Now… as you can imagine, after a journey like this we probably shared a very Hollywood-style reunion. The two of us running through a crowded British train station trying to seek each other out while violin music soared to a crescendo… calling each other’s names loudly and rushing together for a well earned man-hug.

Well… this is probably how the story will end when Brian Grazer finds my blog and hires Ben Stiller to play Costello.

But, no… that’s not what really happened. Sure the train station was crowded… and British. And I we did have trouble finding each other… but when we finally connected there was no man-hug. No, Costello simply shoved a large plastic bundle into my arms and said, “Here’s you f---ing stroller.”

Day 1195: The Chair, Part 38 – The Unbearable Awesomeness of Costello

2011-10-28T10:00:00.001-04:00

Yes Becky… Costello is awesome. And to be completely honest, this chapter of ‘The Chair’ was going to be called ‘The Bottle of Booze’, but your comment inspired me… yes… if nothing else, ‘The Chair’ should be a testament to Costello’s commitment and loyalty. However, Costello is also the guy who made me watch ‘The Room’ during my home leave… which was probably the worst movie I’ve ever seen in my life… and he made me watch it on purpose… so… for that… I hate him. BUT, for the stroller and what he went through to deliver it? For that, we honor him today.

So yes! Costello boarded the bus from Manchester to London with no place to store the stroller. So, he opted to ride holding the stroller on his lap. Little did he know how long the, normally three and a half hour, trip would take.

The first issue they faced was weather. Although it wasn’t snowing, it was raining A LOT and the bus drivers were compensating due to lack of visibility and the fear of black ice. Costello called me about an hour into the trip and he estimated they were probably going a little faster than half the normal speed limit. And based on his calculations we estimated the three and a half hour trip would take about five hours. For most people this would be death… but Costello is pretty easy going and pretty much said he was enjoying his ‘tour of the British countryside’… and then he said something about the ‘damn stroller’ on his lap… but I had already tuned him out.

Anyway… it looked like the bus ride was going to take longer than normally expected… which is understandable when traveling by bus… however, an hour later Costello called me again… and well… apparently we overlooked something; our five hour estimate was going to be on the low side.

You see… two hours into the bus ride everyone was a bit tired, however they were in good spirits. Like Costello, they had accepted the fact the trip would probably take five hours… but then… then the bus drivers pulled over and informed the passengers they would be taking their mandated one-hour break.

Yeah… so… you see… apparently, bus drivers in England have to take an hour break after ever two hours of driving. At least that is what THESE bus drivers claimed… I haven’t been able to verify this as an official policy though. Costello and I figure these guys were being paid by the hour and were milking it.

Anyway… you do the math. We estimated the trip at five hours… so there were going to be at least two hours worth of breaks scattered into the timetable.

As you can imagine, the passengers didn’t take the news very well. Even Costello sounded pretty melancholy when we talked during the first rest stop. However… when he called me from their second ‘mandatory’ pit-stop his spirits seemed up… mainly due to the consumption of ‘spirits’.

Apparently when the road weary travelers re-boarded the bus after the first stop… a few of them broke open their duty free bags. And well… let’s just say bottles started getting passed around and the somber mood of the bus became more social. Folks began swapping stories and singing songs… and once they had imbibed enough… like yourself… the passengers on the bus clambered to hear one story in particular. They wanted to know why the hell Costello had a stroller on his lap… and with one more swig of Jack straight from the bottle… Costello told them… and it was awesome.

Day 1192: The Chair, Part 37 – The Stroller, Part ‘Who Cares’

2011-10-25T10:00:00.001-04:00

Now, there is an element of Costello’s story that I’ve been ignoring. And in case you have forgotten, it is now time for a reminder: throughout his entire trip, Costello has been carting around our new stroller.

http://www.amazon.com/Graco-SnugRider-Infant-Stroller-Frame/dp/B0007KMUH4/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1319471839&sr=8-1

He was bringing it to us in London because the box was too large to ship through our diplomatic mail service, and in addition, Costello had done a fancy two-step in Atlanta to get the stroller on the plane for free, without actually traveling with a child justifying the need for the stroller. This is a very important distinction because I was once charged for checking a car seat when I wasn’t traveling with Grayson.

So… imagine if you will… a man in his early thirties… carrying a knapsack… looking like your average American backpacker… getting off an airplane and wandering around the Manchester airport for a couple hours pushing an empty stroller.

Well… let’s just say… it rose more than a couple eyebrows. Nothing major… nothing particularly blog worthy… however he was asked where his child was so many times by airport security that he decided fold up the stroller and carry over his shoulder rather than have to explain how he’s the world greatest friend one more time.

Anyway, once the British Transportation Authority gave their ‘all clear’ for the passengers of Costello’s flight to clear customers and take possession of their checked baggage… it caused… well… it caused a few more issues. Most importantly… it caused a significant space issue on the busses.

You see, prior to the release of their checked baggage, when American Airline thought they would be forced to transport everything to London before folks would be allowed to clear customs, they hired a separate box truck to take the luggage. A truck they no longer needed once the passengers got their hot little hands on their luggage!

So, American Airlines canceled the box truck and instructed the passengers to take their luggage on the busses.

Well… this is all fine and dandy… except they had only hired two busses with just enough seats for all the passengers. And if you are familiar with bus travel you will know that busses have far less cargo space than airplanes AND considerably less overhead and under-seat space as well.

So… rather than describing in great detail how they quickly ran out of space for luggage… let me just throw out the word ‘sardines’ and move on.

Honestly, the only reason they were able to get all of their luggage on the busses at all is because a handful of the passengers, who were actually headed to Manchester anyway, changed their rental car pick-up location and departed immediately after clearing customs.

However… gaining those few seats weren’t enough to save Costello from his fate… to ride in a bus from Manchester to London with a stroller on his lap.

But then again… it’s only a three and a half hour drive, right?

You’d like to think that, wouldn’t you?

Day 1187: The Chair, Part 36 – The Checked Baggage

2011-10-20T10:00:00.001-04:00

I’m glad it took me a couple days to pen this next segment of Costello’s journey to London, mainly because of Pauline’s comment on my last post: “I just love the real world implementation of what seem originally like reasonable rules and regulations.”

Yes… well… it didn’t just stop with passport control… those seemingly ‘reasonable rules and regulations’ continued being tested by the practicalities of implementation.

This time, it was Costello’s checked baggage.

You see folks; Costello wasn’t simple ushered off the plane, through passport control and onto a bus destined for London… no… the ushering stopped after passport control… at which time the WAITING started once again. Costello waited in the Manchester airport for almost two MORE hours, all the while he and his fellow passengers were told that they were waiting for the busses to arrive. Well… that was only part of the story.

You see… checked baggage is a funny thing. Especially when it comes to who is liable for the baggage. Despite what we’ve seen with United and their treatment of guitars, in theory, when you check your bags with an airline, they take over the chain of custody of your bags, thus becoming liable for them.

Apparently, American Airline didn’t want to be liable for Costello’s bags while they were being transported from Manchester to London. And frankly, I don’t blame them.

American Airlines felt it was unreasonable for them to maintain control of the bags since they would be forced to hand them over to a third party mover in order to adhere to a British Transportation Authority policy. In short, for almost two hours American Airlines was insisting the British Transportation Authority either take custody of the passengers checked bags during transport to London, OR, let their passenger’s clear customs in Manchester.

In the end… after milling about for quite some time, Costello and his fellow passengers were called to baggage claim and were allowed to clear customs… and then… and only then… were they allowed to board the busses… busses that had been parked outside for over an hour and a half.

Day 1185: SchutzHappens, June – September, 2011 – On the Road to Find Out

2011-10-18T10:00:00.001-04:00

I know, I know… I promised not to post anything that wasn’t directly related to ‘The Chair’ until the saga was finished… but… come on… you can’t expect me NOT to post my monthly family video (that I haven’t done for four months)!… it’s not like I’m interrupting the story to post a video of a ninja answer questions!

Day 1180: The Chair, Part 35: The Stroller, Part 8 – The Diverted Flight and the Facebook Fan Page

2011-10-13T10:00:00.001-04:00

When we last heard from our hero and stroller schleper, Costello, his flight destined for London, England was diverted to Manchester because of “snow”… snow that wasn’t actually falling from the sky… or sticking to the ground… it was simply the idea of “snow”. And to Londoner’s, it was a very scary idea indeed.

As for me… I walked to work… never once encountering a snow flurry or a patch of ice.

Over the next few hours Costello and I stayed in pretty close contact… all the while… Costello and his merry band of plane-mates continued to sit in their seats on the Manchester tarmac.

It was really quite something, at least from my perspective. When they landed in Manchester, it was with the intention to wait-out the ‘snow storm’ and fly back to London the first chance they had… at least that is what the flight crew was feeding their passengers.

About every 20 minutes or so I would received a text message from Costello saying, “We’ve been cleared for takeoff!” And then about five minutes later I would receive another one saying, “Never mind.”

This when on for three hours.

Until finally, they told the passengers they would not be flying back to London after all. Instead US Airways had chartered buses to pick them up and take them back to Heathrow Airport so they could clear passport control and customs.

That’s right… I didn’t stutter. I really said “passport control” and “clear customs”… in London… a 3 and a half hour drive from Manchester.

Apparently, the United Kingdom has a pretty strict rule about entering the country at your ticketed port of entry. Since the final destination on Costello’s ticket said “London” he needed to go there to ‘enter the country’.

However, no matter how much a rule like this made sense when pressing ink to page… I don’t think anyone anticipated the logistic of busing a plane load of people through the English countryside in a controlled environment.

Evidently, those logistics were discussed for another hour until finally, the US Airways flight crew announced that passengers would be allowed to disembark and pass though passport control in Manchester… however… their checked luggage would still be bused separately to London.

So… finally… at around 11:30am… Costello entered the United Kingdom… stroller in hand.

And to cash in on Costello’s misery, I started a Facebook Fan page called “Costello’s Never Ending Trip to London”… and if you ask Costello… he’ll say is still on his way there now. “It’s just another detour JP… just another detour.”

Costello’s Travel Time: 14 Hours and 25 Minutes

Day 1171: The Chair, Part 34 - The Procrastination

2011-10-04T10:00:00.002-04:00

To my ‘adoring’ fans. With all my heart. I apologize.

I have strung you along for too long and enough is enough! It is time to bring this saga to its rightful triumphant conclusion!

However, to simply slap an ending onto ‘The Chair’ would be unjust to the story and unfair to my readers. ‘The Chair’ has become legend beyond reason and to honor this legend I must continue where I left off: spinning a seemingly random tale of a man, his best friend, a stroller, Ikea… and ‘The Chair’.

To my loyal fans, my promise to you is this: I will post NOTHING except episodes of ‘The Chair’ until I have completed the saga and given you, the reader, the ending you deserve.

Although… between you, me and the brick wall… I’m afraid you’re in for a letdown.

Now, for the rest of you.

Those of you who haven’t a clue as to what I am talking about… well… all I can say is “Welcome to ‘The Chair’”. For better or worse… you’re going to hear the meandering tale of ‘The Chair’… a tale so epic a traveling minstrel would need to restring his mandolin eight times before coming to its conclusion.

You see, over a year ago, on August 1^st, 2010, I started telling a story about a chair I bought from an IKEA in London… and well… I must have been in a bit of a playful mood because the telling of this story got WAY out of hand… and well… 32 posts later I still hadn’t finished the story… and then… I never finished it.

The last time I posted an entry bearing ‘The Chair’ moniker in its title was September 15, 2010… and that was just to make fun of a friend who was making fun of how long the story was taking! I haven’t actually posted anything substantial about ‘The Chair’ since September 4^th, 2010!

Anyway… over the last year I’ve been receiving hate mail from readers who STILL want to hear the end of the story… and now… they get their wish.

So… I would suggest you get take a moment and get acquainted, or reacquainted for that matter, with ‘The Chair’. Here is a link to all 33 posts so far: http://schutzhappens.blogspot.com/search/label/The%20Chair?updated-max=2010-08-14T05%3A57%3A00-04%3A00&max-results=20

(You will want to scroll down to the end of the page and read UP so you can experience the story from the beginning).

Cheers! The procrastination is over! Well… almost…

Coming soon: ‘The Chair’, Part 35: The Stroller, Part 8!

Day 1160: ‘EGOTing’ - A New Beginning

2011-09-23T10:00:00.002-04:00

Three years ago I started ‘SchutzHappens’ (schutzhappens.blogspot.com), a blog chronicling my life as a husband, father, and United States Foreign Service Diplomat. When I started writing, the intent was merely to keep my friends and family back in the States up to date with our travels… however, two years in I discovered ‘SchutzHappens’ was being syndicated (via RSS feeds) on numerous Foreign Service and travel oriented websites… honestly, I had no idea and up until then, I was pretty sure my mother was my only reader. I was wrong. Apparently, my musings on fatherhood and life overseas had become quite popular.

However… there is slight problem.

Although ‘SchutzHappens’ is (seemingly) widely read… the blog itself suffers from a general lack of focus. Since I didn’t think anyone was reading, I pretty much talk about whatever I want. And to be completely honest, when I’m not talking about my beautiful wife and amazing kids… or our random misadventures around the world… I have a tendency to write (ad nauseum) about another passion of mine: the entertainment business. I’ll admit it… I am a complete freak about movies, television, music, and theatre.

As avid ‘SchutzHappens’ readers know, I wasn’t always planning to be Diplomat. Once upon a time I was an actor. I was an honest to God working actor (and theatre director)… who got paid for it and everything. Now, keep in mind, I was mainly a stage actor, so if you’re tempted to ask, “Having you been in anything I’ve seen.” The answer is more than likely ‘no’. However, I still got paid for it… but as glamorous as it might sound, theatre work isn’t always stable and I found my life moving into a slightly different direction. Luckily, my theatre connections opened a lot of doors and I ended up teaching high school theatre and eventually moved into public arts management; which I did for over seven years… before my professional life took a much more dramatic turn and I found myself working overseas.

Anyway, when it comes to ‘SchutzHappens’, over the last year its thematic divide between my new Diplomatic life verses my old Theatrical life has become more and more defined… and as a result ‘SchutzHappens’ now appeals to two very different audiences: those who want to read about my family and our life in the Foreign Service, and those who want to read my overly analytical opinions about the entertainment business.

So… what is my point? Well… I think it’s time to make a thematic split. Don’t worry. ‘SchutzHappens’ isn’t going anywhere. It will always be my primary blog of about life. However, it is time to give my entertainment obsession its own home… and that is why I created ‘EGOTing’ (egoting.blogspot.com)… a place to let my movie freak flag fly.

Anyway, if you are reading this on ‘SchutzHappens’, sit tight! I’ve been back from Pakistan and with my family for two months now, AND we arrived in Paramaribo, Suriname last Friday. And get this! Our car, UAB, and HHE from Serbia arrived before we did! Stay tuned, I have lots of stories to share about our Home Leave, our move, Suriname, Grayson’s first day of school… and an xBox I rebuilt for $32.00. Oh, and to my ‘Adoring Fan’ who commented on my July 15^th post about ‘The Chair’… you are my number one priority. The fun starts October 1^st.

As for ‘EGOTing’… there are less than 100 days left in the year and you know what that means… less than 100 days to qualify for the Oscars. There are going to be some SERIOUS movies coming out and I live down the street from a movie theatre… that actually screen movies in ENGLISH!!!!

Sweetness!

Day 1090: That’s All She Wrote

2011-07-15T10:00:00.002-04:00

Well… today marks the end of my 353 days in Pakistan. Actually, by the time this entry posts I will be 10 hours into my trip home… and I’ll still have about 14 hours until Belgrade.

Let’s see… at the moment of this posting (10am EST) I will be about halfway into my second of three flights… somewhere in-between Dubai, UAE and Frankfurt, Germany. Erg… that flight is seven hours of pain!

After a three and a half hour flight from Islamabad to Dubai and a three and a half hour layover… getting onto a seven hour flight is not my idea of a good time… but totally worth it. I just hope there will be some good movies.

Anyway, I am REALLY looking forward to get home, although it’s all still a little hard to fully process.

Now, there is nothing hard to process about getting back to what I do best: being a husband and father… but I am having trouble processing the fact I don’t have to come back to this place.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to come back… but a year is a VERY long time. And every time I’ve been home in the last year we’ve always had the knowledge of my return to Pakistan looming over our heads… and it’s pretty stressful.

So now, I haven’t quite processed the fact that this year is actually over… that when I return home there will be nothing looming.

I am sure an overwhelming rush of relief is coming my way… and I can’t wait to feel it.

Anyway… when it comes, there’s no time to truly enjoy it.

We’re only going to be in Belgrade for about a week and then we’re off to Washington. I decided to schedule my consultations and training before Home Leave… at this point I’m not very happy with that decision, but flight routing from Atlanta to Paramaribo is much better than from Washington, so… yeah… what are you going to do?

So… all you folks rocking the Oakwood save some room at the pool for the Schutz’s! We’re on our way “home”!

Day 1078: Another Gift from the Carpet Brothers

2011-07-03T10:00:00.001-04:00

I’m starting to think the Carpet Brothers have been following my blog… although… if they were… they wouldn’t have needed to call me for the correct spelling of my name.

Anyway, they just called me wanting to know how much longer I was going to be in town and they also wanted the spelling of my name and Serena’s. “My Brother’s and I wish to have a special gift made for you and your wife; we will certainly have it made before you leave. We will call you soon.”

Honestly, the two coasters were enough and I am feeling quite touched and very excited. Of course I told them it wasn’t necessary, arguing that a gestures of friendship isn’t necessary is pretty futile over here… so I didn’t object too much.

Who knows what it will be! Or if it’s something Serena will want to show off in her house… but regardless, it will be something special with a great story. We shall see.

The odd thing is this.

The call was the second time the Brothers have reentered my life, in a way, since posting my last entry.

Yesterday, a work buddy of mine named Bruno, who bought three rugs from the Brothers (after I introduced them) came up to me, “Hey, the Brothers keep calling us to see if we’d like to go out to dinner.” (I’m using the word ‘us’ because Bruno is one of the lucky few here with his wife. Unaccompanied posts pretty nice for couples without kids.)

Oh, and by the way, dinner invitations from the Brother’s are normal. They are really into networking… they have invited me numerous time, but I’ve never been free… and to be honest, I’ve have shied away from their invitations because I didn’t really have anyone to go with. I really like the Brothers, but in general I don’t feel comfortable going out to a dinner in Islamabad alone.

So, yesterday Bruno opened the door.

I didn’t really know where he was going at first. Bruno is well over six foot, former marine, build like a brick house, and his normal everyday tone of voice is “I hate you”… he’s a teddy bear once you get to know him, however, because of his tone you never know where he’s coming from.

“Yeah, so these Brothers of yours keep calling us, they want to take me and the wife out to dinner.”

Since I’m never really sure where Bruno is coming from, I never beat around the bush with him… so I just blurted out, “So, are you guys going to go?”

Bruno just paused for a minute and said, “We’re thinking about it… But we’re only going to go if you come with.”

There is was…

Me: “Let’s do it. Set it up and tell me when.”

Sooo… looks like my last couple weeks are going to be action packed!

Day 1076: The Carpet Brothers

2011-07-01T10:00:00.000-04:00

The other day I teased at my carpet buying experience and the plethora of stories I’ve collected as part of that journey.

Honestly, there are a TON of stories here, BUT, the most important is my story of ‘The Brothers’, as I call them, and the very sweet gift they gave me as a farewell.

I met The Brothers last fall at a Diplomatic Bazaar… you name it, there was someone selling it. And honestly, there had to have been 15 to 20 different carpet venders. It was kind of a mess. They were all grouped together on the same lawn... no discernible breaks from one vender to the next and no aisle to walk through.

Remember, back in the States before joining the Foreign Service, I used to plan and manage Arts Festivals… which is pretty much the exact same concept as this Fall Bazaar I was attending. And when planning an arts festival (a good arts festival) the number one rule is to spread your product around the venue. You don’t want two landscape painters next to each other, you don’t want two jewelry artists next to each other… you get the idea.

Well, at this Bazaar all of the venders were clumped together based on what they sold. Brass was with brass, furniture was with furniture, and all 15 to 20 carpet venders were jumbled together in one huge mess.

Imagine living in a city designed on a grid with no roads, where all the buildings butted up against each other. Imagine how hard it would be to get home if your building was in the center of that grid. Well… that was where The Brothers were.

I wasn’t really looking for carpets that day… honestly, I hadn’t been in Pakistan long enough to know up from down, let along the fair price for seemingly random items.

But I was looking for carpet coasters. Carpets small enough to use as coasters… for drinks. Serena didn’t ask for much that early into my tour (going into Christmas), but she had specifically asked for carpet coasters… so I went looking. And you know what? None of the venders had them, at least not the venders with the primo locations around the edge of the carpet enclave.

The carpet vender grid was pretty darn intimidating. Everyone was going for the hard sell… and to get to the interior venders, you literally had to trample on layer upon layer of carpets, so the idea of walking into the center of the beast wasn’t really my idea of a good time. But I teamed up with a couple friends and we ventured in.

It was one… big… crazy… melee.

“Sir! Look at this! You must buy this!”

Me: “Do you have carpet coaters?”

“No! But I have lovely bed sheets! Here feel the bed sheets! Rub them on your face!”

Me: “Do you have carpet coasters?”

“No, but I have this very beautiful table cloth, you must buy it for your wife of she won’t love you or bare you children!”

Me: “Do you have carpet coasters?”

“No, but I have three slices of cucumber. Don’t you like cucumber?”

Finally, I stumbled across a young man in tradition Muslim garb.

Me: “Do you have carpet coasters?”

Him: “Yes, I have many different varieties.”

And he did. And he turned out to be the ONLY vender carrying such a small and simple item.

He made me a good price and I bought quite a few. And as the day wore on and my friends saw my coaster loot, they made me introduce them to The Brothers… by the end of the day I probably took about a half dozen friends to buy coasters from them.

And with each visit ‘The Brother’ chatted me up a bit.

On the day of the Bazaar I met the Middle brother and the Youngest brother… and I have to be honest, I was very impressed with the Middle brothers English. And when I compliment his English I’m not talking about his accent or my ability to understand him… I’m talking about his use of the language. He was using a lot of western colloquialisms which is not the norm here and he was also laughing at my dry sarcastic jokes… legitimately.

When you’ve been overseas for a while you quickly realize sarcasm and dry humor almost NEVER translate even when you share a common language. Most of the time you just get a blank stare or a confused smile… and then you have to explain the joke… which never goes over well and you end up saying, “Nevermind,” and look like an idiot… which I’m pretty good at.

Anyway, I could have a normal conversation with the Middle brother without having to be self conscious about words I chose to use, or more accurately, the words I blurted without thinking.

Needless to say, when he invited me to visit him in his store I legitimately took him up on it… although because of work and R&R travel, it took me a few months to organize my initial visit.

When I finally did, I had the opportunity to meet the Older brother, who was very candid and honest… and very western in speech, while being very traditional in dress. I immediately like him.

Shopping in Pakistan is a very interesting experience and it takes some getting used to… mainly because it’s not a cold and disconnected chore like it is in the States.

When you shop in Pakistan, it’s more like a visit. You sit, you talk, you get to know each other, have a cup of tea, show off photographs of your kids, and exchange stories of the world. It’s not uncommon for 30 minutes to pass before you even look at a product, let alone discuss price.

And interestingly enough… the venders who want to talk price and push a sale up front are usually the ones who are trying to rip you off. It’s the venders who behave as if you’re a guest in their home and are in no rush are the venders you want to invest your time in, because after your visit, they believe they are selling to a friend rather than a customer. And at the same time… I feel like I’m buying from a friend too. It’s actually pretty darn fun… and not to sound overly cynical… it’s a great sales tactic as well.

ANYWAY, as I visited with the Brothers their story came together… explaining why they were so adapt to western vernacular and understanding of western culture and thought, while also balancing their traditional religious beliefs.

They were educated in Canada.

At least the two eldest brothers, the youngest is probably only twelve or thirteen and speaks limited English… only what his brothers have taught him.

As their story goes, the brothers are sixth (or whatever) generation Turkmen carpet dealers. They specialize in Turkman/Afghani Tribal rugs and their great-grandfather had become very popular in the Diplomatic circles because of his honestly and fair dealings.

I actually saw a lot of this while working with them. The Brother would go out of their way to point out flaws in their carpet, “See here? When we got this rug, it was damaged here and we had to repair it… however, this rug is 60 years old and after the repair, the only way we could match the vegetable dyes was by using chemical dyes… so I cannot tell you this carpet is 100% natural.”

And this wasn’t an isolated occurrence… they did this a few times… occasionally… and only once did I find the flaw glaring. Most of them were so perfectly mended that I never would have noticed if not told.

Anyway, they great-grand father handed the family business of to their grandfather, who handed it off to their father… each generation building their business and reputation even bigger and better. They had become so big and integrated into Diplomatic community that their father decided it was important to send his sons for a western education… and so the two oldest moved to Canada to attend college.

Then, their father passed away suddenly. Unexpectedly. Probably a heart attack.

The boys instantly inherited a business they understood… grew up in… but weren’t properly prepared to take over. It hadn’t been the family’s tradition to write things down… they were a family of oral tradition. And their father died before he had passed his knowledge onto the next generation. Their father passed with all of this business contacts tucked away in his head.

The boys moved home and were forced to start over from scratch.

They’re smart though, they knew embedding themselves in the Diplomatic Community was the best way to go… and the generations before had taught them that going for the quick sale/rip off wasn’t the key to success. Diplomats have money… and they have friends… and being fair and honest is the best way to meet their friends.

They must have made me for being someone with friends and clout among his friends when I brought so many to buy carpet coasters. But, they treated me right and gave me great deals… at least I think they were great deals.

I ended up buying quite a few rugs from them. And I know a number of my friends had also visited their store and bought from them. I know, because my friends told me they were going… and they show me what they buy (if they buy).

And every time one of my friends visits them (whether they buy anything or not) The Brothers always send me a very nice thank you email.

However, what impresses me the most about their emails, as if I wasn’t impressed enough already, is that they never say, “Thank you so much for sending your friend to our store. He looked at many rugs, did he say anything? Do you think he will come back and buy?”

No… when the brothers email me. They never mention my friends visiting… the never mention sales… all they say is, “Thank you for being a kind and generous friend. I hope all is well in your and your family’s lives. May God bless you.”

Short and sweet… you know? I didn’t really grow up in a ‘thank you’ card writing family, but my step-mother-in-law swears by it… and I’m starting to recognize the impact.

Anyway, now for the point of my story… however, to truly appreciate the POINT, you probably needed all the exposition.

The Brothers had been holding quite a few rugs for me, but I was having a devil of a time getting to their shop to pick them up. And I was starting to get nervous about my upcoming pack out, so I asked if they would be able to deliver. And of course they were more than willing to accommodate, but while I was on the phone they said, “Are you leaving for vacation? Or are you leaving permanently?”

I could tell they were sad when I told them the answer.

Well… then they came to deliver the carpets the other day I had a chance to host THEIR visit my home. And have one final talk. I like them a lot. The Brothers are good people.

And when the time came to say goodbye, The Brothers gave me two carpet coasters.

“These are for you as a gift from us. One for you and one for your wife. So you can always remember how we met.”

Yeah… seriously… true story.

The gift totally took me off guard. I remember a lot of things, but at the time of their presentation the circumstances surrounding our initial meetings had completely slipped my mind.

It’s amazing though. I’ve done my fair share in keeping the Pakistani carpet industry gainfully employed… but these two small, simple carpet coasters will probably be my most prized mementos of my time in Pakistan.

They certainly have one of the best stories.

Day 1074: Only 16 Days Until Take Off… And I’m Overwhelmed

2011-06-29T10:00:00.003-04:00

Well folks.

It has all come down to this. My last 16 days.

Amazing.

I’m amazingly overwhelmed.

You know? Moving is pretty darn stressful… and leaving your job is pretty darn stressful too… especially if you need to make sure you leave everything in perfect order so your successor can arrive and seamlessly pick-up where you left off.

With only 16 days left, I feel like I have a MILLION things to do. Well, not millions… but it certainly feels like an insurmountable amount of work. Here is a glimpse of my ToDo list:

1. Organize Work

As I mentioned above, I need to get things organized for my successor. And when I use the word ‘organized’, I really mean write a book explaining everything I’ve been doing for the last year, the current status of each project I’ve been working on, the initial directives and expectations of those projects, and what should be anticipate for those projects for the next week, two weeks, month… whatever. Basically, my job right now is to outline everything that might happen while my successor is recovering from jetlag and adjusting to her new surroundings.

At a one year post like Islamabad, we don’t really have the luxury of easing into our jobs and getting settled. You pretty much show up and do.

2. Ship Carpets

Well… I bought twelve carpets. I know! But they’re not all for me! Only four of them are for us… the rest I brokered for friends and family… and now I have to ship them… well… I’ve shipped all of them but two. I’m left with the two complicated ones; the heavy ones that have to go DHL International or more creative means of travel. I’m pretty sure one of them will end up going in a buddy of mine’s Household Effect shipment. His next assignment is in the States, so he’ll at least get it there and then I’ll need to arrange UPS shipping the rest of the way… to its actually final destination.

It has been quite the ordeal, but VERY fun and I have a ton of great carpet stories. I’ll try remembering to share those with you another time.

3. Buy Gifts

Sure, I might make my friends and family pay for their own rugs… but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to bring them something from Pakistan for free! So yeah… I’ve been running around all over the place looking for just the right items for my nieces, nephews, brother, parents, in-law, out-laws, you name it!

And due to my limited luggage allowance and my large immediate and extended family I’m pretty sure I’ll be shipping a couple boxes to strategic locations along our home leave itinerary.

4. Get Furniture Delivered

So… yeah… I’ve also had three pieces of furniture made. And the builder is going to be cutting it pretty close. A few days ago I checked in with him and he said, “Sir, two more weeks, two, maybe two and a half.” I said, “The movers come in a week and a half. Can you get it done in a week and a half?”

“Sir, we will try our best, but cannot promise.”

Me: “Well, please try, because if the furniture isn’t delivered in a week and a half, I won’t be buying them.”

I’m confident it will all be finished and delivered on time… but the delay doesn’t make me feel good.

5. Pack House

Yeah… so my pack out is in a week and a half. How insane is that???!???!

6. Finish ‘The Chair’ Story.

Errr… I might have to put that off until Paramaribo.

6. Spend Quality Time with My Friends

Listen. I met some really amazing people here. Folks I hope I get to serve with again… and more accurately, folks I hope to SEE again. You never know! Heck, I just want the chance to introduce them to Serena and the boys and be able to say, “See! They’re real!”

Seriously though. In the Foreign Service you make friends for life. And I’ve made some very close friends here… and since I’m not much of a social butterfly, I have to remind myself, “JP, you need to take a time out and just be with your friends. Just take some time, relax and enjoy their company… because you might not see them again… ever.” Sad, but true.

Honestly, this has been such a strange year. It’s almost been like living in a make-believe world… but now as the year comes to a close; this make-believe world has become my normal; which makes the idea of going back to my REAL life, as a husband and father, all the more strange.

You kind of lose track of what’s real and what not.

But, I’ll tell you this.

It’s only going to take a couple hugs and kisses from Serena and the boys to remind me what’s REAL.

Them.

In 16 days I’ll be home.

Day 1067: Congratulations to Kerry!!!

2011-06-22T10:00:00.003-04:00

REF: Day 756

Wow… WOW!!! I have WONDERFUL news!!!!

Back on ‘Day 756’, during International Friendship Week and smack dab in the middle of ‘The Chair Saga’ I told you all about my good friend Kerry… if you’re a new reader, I included a reference link to the post at the top of this one.

Anyway… about a year and a half ago Kerry contacted me and said it was time for a change. She wanted to know about the Foreign Service.

Actually, I get emails like this all the time and it’s a pretty normal occurrence among my Foreign Service friends. I’m probably contacted three or four times a year by friends or friends of friends who are looking for a change and feel the need to ‘window shop’ a somewhat outrageous career change.

Of course, Kerry’s inquiry was different. She’s always different… heck, I’ve known her for almost 15 years now and the one thing I know about Kerry is that she’s not going to waste her time with something she’s not genuinely interested in. You always know what you get with Kerry… and not much BS comes with it.

Well. We talked about it. She thought about it. She went to careers.state.gov and added her name to the waiting list for Specialist application announcement. And that was that. Time to wait.

Now, I’m pretty sure Kerry isn’t the only person I’ve talked to about joining the Foreign Service who has actually put their name on the mailing list. However, I’m pretty certain Kerry is the only one who has actually applied when she received the application announcement… last September… almost a year after putting her name on the list.

This isn’t a fast process… it’s a commitment.

In April she was asked to go to Washington, DC for an interview… her airfare paid for by her current boss.

Two weeks later she received her security clearance.

Three weeks later she received her medical clearance.

One week later she was officially offered a spot in the September orientation class.

Now… there is something Serena and I have been telling Kerry privately throughout the process… this long stressful nerve racking process. A process that makes you second guess who you are and why you’re going through it. Who in the world subjects themselves to a multiyear application process?

That said, the one thing we kept reiterating throughout the process was how proud we are of her. Win or lose, we’re very proud.

Simply applying to be part of the Foreign Service is a very tough personal step to take; especially if you’ve spend most of your life living in the same place (like both me and Kerry). Win or lose, the significance of the attempt… the willingness and strength to willingly walk away from everything you know shouldn’t be ignored.

And frankly, feeling proud for a friend of 15 years… who you met in college… is a very special feeling.

So now… publically. Serena and I would like to shout it from the roof tops of Belgrade and Islamabad… (although I will probably ‘shout’ with my inside voice… so I don’t draw too much attention to myself):

Kerry, you have been an incredible friend to us for the last fifteen years and we are incredibly excited for you, and most importantly, we are incredibly proud of you.

PS: Readers, if you will be staying at the Foreign Service Ghetto in Falls Church in middle to late September, let me know. It’s never too early for someone to have a sponsor… and I’m sure Kerry would love a friendly face when she arrives. If so, email me!

Day 1066: SchutzHappens, May 2011 - Sand In My Shoes

2011-06-21T10:00:00.005-04:00

Day 1065: SchutzHappens, April 2011 - Ragged Wood

2011-06-20T10:00:00.009-04:00

Happy Belated Father’s Day to me… and all the other fathers out there… especially those who weren’t about to be home with their kids yesterday… for important reasons… not simple because you’re a deadbeat. ;)

Well… I actually had a pretty good day. I Skyped with my boys twice and I spent the rest of the day catching up on the family videos I make each month. I was actually two months behind! It took all day, but it feels good to be caught up.

Day 1064: Eat an Oreo Day

2011-06-19T10:00:00.000-04:00

Day 1060: Alamo Drafthouse Cinema = Greatest Place on Earth

2011-06-15T10:00:00.005-04:00

Have you guys seen the news coverage on the Alamo Drafthouse Cinema?

It’s pretty intriguing.

Apparently, the theater chain was founded by a husband and wife who loved going to the movies, but had grown more and more frustrated with their overall movie-going experience.

From the CNN Online Article:

“What drew us to open a theater in the first place is that we were finding a trip to the multiplex to be, more often than not, a disappointing experience. Poor projection, bad sound and, worst of all, disrespectful patrons in the cinema were slowly eroding our fun, so we conceived of the idea of opening a cinema ourselves on our own terms.”

Thus, Alamo Drafthouse was born… as well as the Alamo Drafthouse rules:

1. We do not play ads before the film: “If I spend $9 or more to see a movie, I equate that to paying for premium cable. Paying for the movie means you get to skip the ads.”

2. We do not allow children under 6 (except for special children’s and “baby day” screenings): “If you want to take your 4-year-old to see "The Hangover 2" at 10 p.m., however, you'll have to go somewhere else.”

3. We do not allow unaccompanied minors: “There are of lots of great, well-behaved 12-year-old individual kids, but assemble them in pods of four or more and drop them unaccompanied in a darkened theater, and they will pave a swath of destruction akin to feral hogs.”

4. If you persist in talking or texting, we will throw you out: And that’s not just an idol threat. They really kick people out. Read on to find out more.

Personally, I LOTH going to the movies… for myself. Taking Grayson is a blast… but went it comes to seeing a movie for myself I hate it. However, I used to love going!

In high school I worked at movie theaters… as a young adult I would go to the movies at least once a week (to fill my addiction)… but now that I’ve gotten older, I can stand it… for the exact same reasons mapped out in the above rules. And texting during movies has become my biggest pet peeve… because it’s always some teenager in the first few rows directly in my line of sight… annoying!

Anyway, although I have never been to the Alamo Drafthouse… I am in love with them and I wish them all the best.

Now, you might be asking yourself. “Why in the world has the Alamo Drafthouse Cinema received national news coverage?”

Well… they recently posted an advertisement on YouTube. And the advertisement is merely a voice mail recording from an angry (foul mouthed) customer who had been kicked out for texting during a movie.

Seriously, the video says it all… and it’s gone viral. In just a week it’s racked up over 2 million hits.

In addition, the Alama Drafthouse Cinema started posting other No Talking ‘Public Service Announcements’ that they show before their movies instead of advertizing. Like this one starting Texas Governor Ann Richards:

However, it’s not just their rules setting them apart from their competitors. It’s also their cuisine and their commitment to their customers overall movie-going experience. Just check out this video profiling the Alamo’s “Lord of the Ring Trilogy 7-Course Feast”… and just try to tell me this place isn’t awesome! I dare you!

Link to the CNN Article: http://www.cnn.com/2011/SHOWBIZ/Movies/06/10/alamo.drafthouse.league/index.html?iref=allsearch

Day 1059: Pig Callers Day

2011-06-14T10:00:00.001-04:00

I weep for America.

Day 1058: Kitchen Klutzes of America Day

2011-06-13T10:00:00.000-04:00

Day 1053: Raising a Wanderer

2011-06-08T10:00:00.003-04:00

Hey folks! I thought I would pass this on for the good of the group.

As many of you might recall, last November I held an ‘unofficial’ Toys for Tots drive, and no one was more enthusiastic and supportive than Bethany, over at the blog Raising a Wanderer.

So, when I received and email from Bethany, two days ago, regarding a service trip to Guatemala she is raising money for I thought it would be nice to repost her message for all the SchutzHappeners.

She’s only looking to raise $1150.00 (which seems VERY low) and according to her blog, the last time I checked, she has already raised 72% of her goal… so she only has like $322.00 left to raise.

Awesome job Bethany!

SO, will the readers of SchutzHappens be the folks who put her over the top? Who knows… Who cares... That’s between you and your pocket book.

All I can say is Bethany is legit… and I’ll leave the rest of the details to her:

**********

Dear Friends,

Many of you know that Guatemala has always held a very special place in my heart. I backpacked solo through Guatemala 7 years ago for almost 3 months, and met the most amazing people and saw the most amazing places. I also met some of the poorest people in the world with homes most of us would never consider living in...people that still smiled and were grateful for what little they had.

Today I was given the opportunity to join a very special organization Nuestros Niños on a service trip to Guatemala...leaving July 9th...as in next month July...as in just over a month away....for 8 days. With my love for Guatemala and for being of service to others...I just couldn't pass up this opportunity to give more.

During this trip we will be hosting field days for preschoolers, building playgrounds, handing out school supplies, shoes, clothing...giving away chickens and fruit baskets, and building safe stoves in homes that are currently unsafe...and that's not even the half of what we'll be doing!

I am so so so excited about this opportunity and my husband and son are in full support of me going....so it's full speed ahead!

So what are you missing, you might be thinking? Well...that's an easy one. M.O.N.E.Y. aka "Sponsors" to help me send me on this service project. The total cost for the trip is $1150. Any donations above and beyond that amount will be used to buy more chickens and food baskets for families. All donations are fully tax-deductible and I will you ensure you will receive a letter stating such.

Please consider donating $5, $10, $15, $25, $50...whatever you can. Seeing as this is happening so quickly, I don't have the luxury of fundraising all year...so I'm praying that my friends and family can help out if possible.

I will be keeping my blog Raising a Wanderer updated while in Guatemala and will also be providing the link to Nuestros Niños blog within my posts.

If you're interested in donating, please visit my blog Raising a Wanderer and click on the Donate button on the top right of the page. You do not need to have a paypal account to donate.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for helping me be of service.

xoxo Bethany

Day 1052: My Departure is Becoming Real… VERY REAL

2011-06-07T10:00:00.002-04:00

Deep breath.

Can it be true? I really have less than 40 days left in Pakistan? Less than 40 days separated from my family? Less than 40 hug-less nights! Less than 40 days of food that may, or may not, make me sick! Less than 40!?!?!?!

Honestly… that just seems crazy. Unreal! Simply amazing!

It has certainly been a very long, stressful, and lonely year. But it’s almost over and I can’t wait!

You know? Everyone measures the end of a tour in different ways. Some people checkout immediately after they receive their next assignment (even if they still have a year at their current post).

For other folks, their move becomes real when their travel arrangements have been finalized and their pack-out scheduled.

However, I have to say… my departure from Islamabad did not really become real until my next post (Paramaribo, Suriname) assigned us our sponsor, the family who will help us with our adjustment and settle into our new home.

That’s right! The Paramaribo welcome wagon is starting to gear up for our arrival and I am super excited.

Leaving a post is always hard. Even a crazy place like Islamabad… you know how it is, I’ve lived here for a year and in a lot of ways it’s become my normal and I have a lot of friends here. So yeah, it’s going to be hard to say ‘good-bye’. And honestly, this transition is doubly hard, because five days after I say ‘good-bye’ to Pakistan, I’ll have to say ‘good-bye’ to Serbia.

I guess with all this saying ‘good-bye’ it just feels good to know that there’s a place ready to say ‘hello’. And that makes the transition SO much easier!

Plus, our sponsors in Paramaribo are another crazy blogging family of four: http://fergusonfamily2002.blogspot.com/

And that’s just plain cool.

Day 1051: Be-Bop-A-Lula Day

2011-06-06T10:00:00.000-04:00

Day 1048: National Repeat Day

2011-06-03T10:00:00.000-04:00

National leave the Office Early Day? Seriously… no one needs to ask me twice.

Day 1047: National Leave the Office Early Day

2011-06-02T10:00:00.000-04:00

National leave the Office Early Day? Seriously… no one needs to ask me twice.

Day 1046: National Go Barefoot Day

2011-06-01T10:00:00.000-04:00

But seriously: http://www.soles4souls.org/

Day 1045: National Macaroon Day

2011-05-31T10:00:00.001-04:00

This is the most hilarious ‘How to make a Macaroon’ video on YouTube.

Day 1044: My Bucket’s Got a Hole in it Day

2011-05-30T10:00:00.000-04:00

Day 1043: End of the Middle Ages Day

2011-05-29T10:00:00.001-04:00

From ‘Almanac of Miscellaneous Merriment’

May 29, 1453 is considered by many historians to be the end of the Middle Ages, (and therefore the Beginning of the Renaissance), and because of this, some people decided it would be good to celebrate the End of the Middle Ages, and some even call it a good day to give gifts.

On this day the city of Constantinople fell to the Ottoman Empire after being under siege for almost two months. So, why is this specific turning point significant? Because of the fall of Constantinople, the Byzantine (Greek) scholars migrated away from Constantinople which had been their political center. This scattering encouraged studies of Greek culture outside of theByzantine Empire and began a revival of learning based on classical Greek sources, which began the Renaissance.

So, how do we celebrate the end of the Middle Ages? Well, one of my favorite ways to celebrate is with food. I found quite a few recipes here, and here, and here. I would probably try to think of more ways to celebrate, but my lunch break is over, so I should get back to work in the next few minutes.

So, in which ever way you celebrate, even if you just read a bit about the Fall of Constantinople, have a wonderful End of the Middle Ages Day.

Day 1042: CBS Upfronts

2011-05-28T10:00:00.001-04:00

CBS is probably the gutsiest network out there. 10 years ago, with the help of ‘CSI’ and ‘Survivor’ they completely changed the direction of their programing, for the better… and now… they believe in their line-up so much that their not afraid to replace actors and only launch 6 new shows this season, (half as many as any other network).

MONDAYS (Legen…dary)

8 pm: ‘How I Met Your Mother’ is BACK!!!! This was my favorite sitcom of 2005 and every year it’s on the bubble for cancelation. I can’t even begin to tell you have excited I am that the show will continue!

8:30pm: ‘2 Broke Girls’… from the writers of ‘Sex and the City’… but doesn’t sound as legendary.

9pm: ‘Two and a Half Men’… wow. I’m speechless. I seriously hate this show… and I’m not a huge Aston Kutcher fan (but he was good in ‘That 70s Show’). But for some reason I can’t wait to see the reboot of this show. Call it a morbid fascination… but it should be interesting.

9:30pm: ‘Mike and Molly’, I haven’t seen this show, but I want to.

10pm: ‘Hawaii Five-O’, again, I haven’t seen this one yet. I have it in my queue and I’m really excited about it.

TUESDAYS (Strong)

8pm: ‘NCIS’… I’ll be watching ‘Glee’ on FOX.

9pm: ‘NCIS: LA’… Sure, I’ll watch, I need something to fill the time until ‘Parenthood’ on NBC.

10pm: ‘Unforgettable’, described as ‘The Mentalist’ with a hot girl… and with CBS’s knack for reinventing the same show, I figure it will do well…

WEDNESDAYS (Another strong night)

8pm: ‘Survivor’… HURRAY!

9pm: ‘Criminal Minds’

10pm: ‘CSI’

THURSDAYS (Sounds Good!)

8pm: ‘The Big Bang Theory’, my OTHER favorite sitcom is BACK!

8:30pm: ‘How to Be a Gentleman’, Starring Kevin Dillian (Entourage) and Dave Folly (News Radio and The Kids in the Hall) I WILL be watching!

9pm: ‘Person of Interest’!!!!!!!! This is JJ Abrams new show. CBS claims that this show has tested higher with audiences than any other CBS show in the last 15 years… and it’s JJ Abrams. It should be awesome!

10pm: ‘The Metalist’

FRIDAYS (Skippable)

8pm: ‘A Gifted Man’, a review described this show as a ‘schlockfest’.

9pm: ‘CSI: NY’

10pm: ‘Blue Bloods’… this is actually a pretty good show and has zero competition… unless you like ‘20/20’ and ‘Dateline’.

SATURDAYS (Huh?)

CBS is the ONLY network to air a real show on Saturday… ‘Rules of Engagement’ will air Saturdays at 8pm… but don’t count on it staying there. I call this an on deck show. As soon as one of their new sitcoms underperforms, you’ll see ‘Rules of Engagement’ being called back up to the big leagues.

SUNDAYS (Rock solid)

8pm: ‘The Amazing Race’, AWESOME!

9pm: ‘The Good Wife’

10pm: ‘CSI: Miami’

Day 1041: FOX Upfronts

2011-05-27T10:00:00.004-04:00

MONDAYS (Power House Alternative to Reality Shows)

8pm: ‘Terra Nova’, a sci-fi epic.

9pm: ‘House’, eight seasons and still VERY strong.

TUESDAYS (Another Solid Night)

8pm: ‘Glee’

9pm: ‘The New Girl’ staring Zooey Deschanel!!!!!!

9:30pm: ‘Raising Hope’… I haven’t seen it, but I hear it’s good.

WEDNESDAYS (Yawn)

8pm: ‘The X Factor’… umm… this is a singing competition with Simon Cowell and Paula Abdul as judges… wait a minute… isn’t this… wait. Huh?

9:30: ‘I Hate My Teenage Daughter’, good cast… but shows is this timeslot never do well. Back in the early days of ‘American Idol’ they used to squeeze in a 9:30 sitcom before FOX switches to local news, but there was always a huge rates drop and affiliates would go berserk. So, every time the sitcom was canceled and ‘American Idol’ was expanded to two-hours. Expect that to happen here.

THURSDAYS (Classic FOX)

8pm: ‘The X Factor, Results Show’… by the way… if you haven’t figured it out, in January ‘American Idol’ will take over ‘The X Factor’ timeslot… because… well… sing competitions are awesome?

9pm: ‘Bones’

FRIDAYS (AWESOME!)

8pm: ‘Kitchen Nightmares’… too bad I’ll be watching ‘Chuck’ on NBC.

9pm: ‘FRINGE’!!!!!!! Sorry ‘Grimm’… I’m a JJ Abrams loyalist!

SUNDAYS (Animated)

8 – 10pm: FOX’s normal Sunday night animation block. They have a new show premiering called ‘Allen Gregory’… I know nothing about it.

Day 1040: The ABC Upfronts

2011-05-26T10:00:00.004-04:00

Once upon a time ABC was a juggernaut for inventive new shows… however, based on early reporting from critics, who attended the ABC Upfronts, not one of their 11 new shows sparked ‘LOST’ or ‘Modern Family’ level excitement.

MONDAYS (Solid)

8 – 10pm: ‘Dancing with the Stars’, still a rating giant and will probably cause NBC executives to weep openly.

10 – 11pm: ‘Castle’, hands down, the BEST crime show on television. There is NO way ‘The Playboy Club’ will steal viewers from the fourth season of this fantastic show!

TUESDAYS (Shaky)

8 – 9pm Comedy Block: The early reviews for Tim Allen’s ‘Last Man Standing’ and ‘Man Up’ are NOT good and their timeslot REALLY confuses me. Based on reviews, these two shows seem focus on male demographics… however, they are being used to lead into the ‘Dancing with the Stars, Results Show’. The choice doesn’t make any sense to me.

9 – 10pm: ‘Dancing with the Stars, Results Show’

10 – 11pm: ‘Body of Proof’, I haven’t seen this show, but I love Dana Delany and I’m glad to see her show renewed… although I’ll probably watch ‘Parenthood’ on NBC instead.

WEDNESDAYS (Not very exciting)

8 – 10pm Comedy Block: Joining ‘The Middle’ and ‘Modern Family’ are two new sitcoms that I’m not overly excited about called ‘Suburgatory’ and ‘Happy Endings’. The critics seem to think their worth checking out for a few episodes though… so I’ll probably give them a chance.

10 – 11pm: ‘Revenge’, okay… so… one review begins with, “I'm not entirely convinced that Emily Van Camp can really act, or pull off devious, but she's sure as hell going to try.” And then it tries to explain the shows rather bizarre premise. So… I’m hoping CBS will be showing something interesting because I’m certainly not going to watch ‘Law & Order: SVU’

THURSDAYS (Solid Girl Night)

The line-up really speaks for itself.

8 – 9pm: ‘Charlie’s Angles’ reboot.

9 – 10pm: ‘Grey’s Anatomy’

10 – 11pm: ‘Private Practice’

FRIDAYS (Craptastic Reality)

8 – 9pm: ‘Extreme Makeover: Home Edition’… is this show really still on?

9 – 10pm: ‘Shark Tank’

SUNDAYS (Very Interesting)

8 – 9pm: ‘Once Upon a Time’, great cast, but it’s a full blow fantasy show… on a Sunday night. Not sure how long it will stay there, but I’m going to give it a shot.

9 – 10pm: ‘Desperate Housewives’… still going!

10 – 11pm: ‘Pan Am’, remember yesterday when I said every network wants their own version of ‘Mad Men’? Well, this is ABC’s version and it is a LOT more promising than NBC’s… but still not REAL promising.

Day 1039: The NBC Upfronts

2011-05-25T10:00:00.008-04:00

So… over my last R&R, I found out a close friend has been secretly reading my blog. I never knew until we went out one night and he said, “Hey, I really appeared your story about trying to get your internet hooked up in Pakistan.”

Me: “Oh yeah? Thanks… wait a minute. Where… have you?...”

Him: “Yeah… I read the blog… I skip all the stuff about movies, but I like to keep tabs on you.”

Well… you know who you are, I’ll see you in a couple months and you can go ahead and skip this post.

**********

In case you don’t know, the “Upfronts” are when a television networks present their line-up of shows for the next season to advertisers and the media. Most importantly, this is their first opportunity to get advertisers excited about their NEW shows and sell LOTS of advertizing time up-front… hence the name… “Upfronts.”

Anyway, NBC, the network poster-child for poor decision…

(That’s right I still haven’t forgiven you for firing Conan… and the fact that you’ve canceled BOTH shows my good friend Jennifer Ferrin starred in, ‘Life on Mars’ and ‘The Cape’, isn’t really helping my forgiving nature!)

… is the first to step up to the plate and announce their Upfronts… and honestly, I have mixed feelings about it… but they do have some new shows that excite me.

MONDAYS (Not Thrilled… except for ‘Smash’)

8 – 10pm: I am not excited about this at all. NBC will be rolling out, not one, but TWO two-hour singing competitions in this time slot. Starting this fall, the will be airing ‘The Sing-Off’ and in the January, they will launch ‘The Voice’. What, with FOX’s addition of ‘The X-Factor’ this season, there will now be FOUR, that’s right, FOUR bloated singing competitions on the air in one season.

10 – 11pm (Fall): ‘The Playboy Club’… Umm… so… with the success of ‘Mad Men’ every network and their mother want a show like ‘Mad Men’… and ‘The Playboy Club’ is NBC’s attempt to reinvent the wheel. I bet this show gets canceled with a vengeance! This is a tough time-slot for NBC shows and I just don’t see ‘The Playboy Club’ appealing to the folks who just finished watching a singing competition.

10 – 11pm (January): ‘Smash’, a musical-drama, produced by Steven Spielberg and staring ‘American Idol’ runner-up Katherine McPhee, described as ‘Glee’ for grown-ups. I think this is a PERFECT pairing with ‘The Voice’ and could be a hit… IF, and only if ‘The Voice’ is able to maintain viewers.

TUESDAYS (Mixed Emotions)

8 – 10pm: So… Serena and I actually like ‘The Biggest Loser’, however we’ve grown tired of the epically long seasons of two-hour episodes. It’s just too much.

10 – 11pm: ‘Parenthood’, great cast, great show. I’m glad it’s back for a third season!

WEDNESDAY

I am not excited about NBC Mondays AT ALL. They are rolling out, not one, but from 8 – 10pm: In the fall it will be

WEDNESDAYS (Showing Promise)

8 – 9pm Comedy Block: Serena and I LOVE Christina Applegate and were thurally disappointed when ABC cancelled ‘Samantha Who’ a few years ago. So I am excited to see her back with ‘Up All Night’ and equally excited about Hank Azaria’s ‘Free Agents’.

9 – 10pm: ‘Harry’s Law’, I haven’t seen this show yet, but I hear good things.

10 – 11pm: ‘Law & Order: Special Victims Unit’... … Well, seriously… I think this franchise has run its course.

THURSDAYS (Thumbs Up)

8 – 10pm Comedy Block: Only one new show in this block and it’s my other prediction for early cancelation. It’s called ‘Whitney’ and the early reviews are not strong. The only hope for this show is its 9:30pm timeslot, right after ‘The Office’. As it stands now, ‘Whitney’ is uncontested in its time slot, so unless CBS announces a 9:30pm sitcom on Thursdays, there will be nothing to watch until 10pm.

10 – 11pm: ‘Prime Suspect’. This is the new NBC show that I’m MOST excited about. If it’s anything like the British version starring Helen Mirren, it should be REALLY good!

FRIDAYS (AWESOME)

8 – 9pm: The final season of ‘Chuck’!!!! Every year I am always concerned about ‘Chuck’, one of my favorite shows currently on the air. I am really excited that NBC has given this show a chance to go out in style.

9 – 10pm: ‘Grimm’, I’m not sure if I’m 100% behind this show. The premise is kind of strange… however this is the perfect time slot for it… if it’s going to appeal to anyone; it will be the folks who watch ‘Chuck’.

Day 1038: Super Don’t Worry?

2011-05-24T10:00:00.004-04:00

Has anyone heard of the board game “Super Don’t Worry?”… as opposed to normal “Don’t Worry”, which I assume also exists, but have never seen before.

During my R&R, the house we rented in Greece had a ton of board games… and one of the games that drew Grayson’s attention was called “Super Don’t Worry”. All the pieces were there expect the directions.

So, because of the name, Grayson decided it was the Greek version of “Sorry!”, his favorite American board game… and completely made up similar rules on the fly even though the game board and pieces were nothing like “Sorry!”.

It was pretty darn funny… and out of curiosity, I decided to find the game in hopes of figuring out the real rules… however I can’t find anything about it online. It’s as if the game doesn’t exist at all.

I have no really hopes of finding it, but I thought I would just throw it out there.

Day 1037: Politics, a Love/Hate Relationship

2011-05-23T10:00:00.003-04:00

Although I purposefully avoid the topic of ‘politics’ on this blog, don’t be fooled; I am a very politically minded person and I can’t get enough of the stuff…

In real life (as opposed to blog life) I enjoy discussing politics with people of all backgrounds. And I REALLY like looking at issues from all perspectives in a very methodical, unemotional, and detached manner. I personally think it’s easier to understand an issue when you turn off your emotions, turn off the talking points of others, and just research facts.

As a result, I have found that I am less interested in individual issues and more interested in political strategy as a whole. It’s all a big game and it fascinates me.

How big of a game do I think it is?

Well, back in 2008, I created a Political Primaries Fantasy League, where every player had to pick a Republican and Democratic candidate for each state… and players earned points equal to the percentage of votes the candidates they picked earned in those states. (You didn’t have to pick the same candidate for all states; you could pick whoever you wanted for each individual state.)

Now, some of you are probably drooling with boredom already, but I have to admit. This fantasy league ended up being a lot of fun and it really forced players to research candidates from both parties AND understand what was important to different states… it forced player to step out of their comfort zone a little bit.

In addition, the game really got us talking about strategy. There were a lot of heavy hitters from both parties that lost their footing early in the primary process… which begged the question, “What did they do wrong?”

So, yeah… I have a pretty bizarre love affair with political strategy. Coupled with my background in Theatre, I sometimes wonder if I would have been better suited as a campaign manager.

Sure, I have some platform issues that I personally find important, but for the most part I am pretty middle of the road, flexible, and I have a very eclectic voting record… but that certainly has its draw backs as well.

When you are sitting in the middle you tend to forget how passionate many people can be about “their” side. And, even during simple conversations that passion can lead to a lot of very negative unnecessary mudslinging and very derogatory comments about the people they don’t agree with… and most of it has very little to do with fact and everything to do with personal nastiness.

Sure, I enjoy poking fun at politicians when they say or do something silly… but I just don’t see how being nasty is productive or how it benefits ANY part of our country political dialogue.

Anyway, when a conversation gets to that dark place, folks put their defenses up and it’s pretty much impossible to say anything that isn’t taken personal… and well… the ability to have a logical conversation disappears.

And that’s what I hate about politics.

Day 1036: Oh, that Grayson!

2011-05-22T10:00:00.000-04:00

Grayson just cracks me up. He is always very interested in how my day is and I just love how he asks.

Grayson: “Dad, can I ask you a question?”

Me: “Sure buddy.”

Grayson: “Dad… Dad… I want to ask you… Dad, how was your day at work?”

Me: “It was pretty good.”

Grayson: “That’s good Dad, I’m glad you had a good day in Pakistan.”

Now, sometimes Grayson doesn’t ask me how work was, sometimes he just asks, “Dad, how was your day in Pakistan.”

And my stock answer has become: “HOT!”

Day 1035: Hot Weather Training

2011-05-21T10:00:00.002-04:00

So… while I think the only drawback to going to Suriname is the horrible internet speeds… Serena is pretty apprehensive about the heat. Which I find kind of funny since she lived in Mombasa, on the coast of Kenya, for two and a half year… but I’m pretty sure she’s having horrific frizzy hair flashbacks.

Anyway, it’s pretty much 90 degrees Fahrenheit year around in Surianme… with 100% humidity. So yeah… it’s going to be hot… and since spring is now coming to a close, the Schutz family has begun the longest summer of our lives… it should last until late 2014.

Honestly, though. I’m looking forward to cooling off. It’s only mid-May, but the daily highs in Islamabad are consistently hitting over 105 degrees Fahrenheit, (Tomorrow’s expected high is 108 degrees!)

And when you compare that to Suriname’s current highs, which are dancing around the high 80s to low 90s… Suriname is sounding pretty awesome right about now.

Now, listen. When you’re talking about temperate like 90 and 108, it’s pretty easy to dismiss it by saying, “Hot is hot,” but an 18 to 20 degree difference, like in the case of Islamabad and Suriname, is pretty darn significant. Just imagine we’re talking about 50 vs. 70 degrees and you’ll see what I’m talking about. That’s the difference between jackets and t-shirts. And in the case of Islamabad and Suriname, it’s the difference between nudist colony and death by heat stroke.

It’s HOT! Dang hot!

Day 1034: Help with Satellite Internet... in Suriname

2011-05-20T10:00:00.001-04:00

I am in desperate need of help and guidance.

There is no such thing as a perfect location and I have recently discovered a significant drawback for my next assignment in Paramaribo, Suriname: Internet is slow AND cost prohibitive.

The best (Platinum) DSL internet package in Suriname runs at a speed of .5 Mbsp, which is pretty much dial-up and folks already there say it’s impossible to upload pictures… So, SchutzHappens is pretty much going to be dead in the water at these speeds.

Plus, this extremely slow speed comes at a price: $150 per month!!!!!

Yeah, NO THANK YOU!

So! I’ve started researching alternatives in the form of Satellite Internet providers (HughsNet, WildBlue, Skyway, and Starband).

Now, the thing to keep in mind is that DishNetwork and DirectTV are both available in Suriname, so, in theory, I should also be able to use one of these Satellite Internet providers, especially Skyway or Starband because they use the EchoStar Satellites (Dish Network) to deliver their service.

Anyway, I would love to speak to someone who has had experience using one of these providers in the Caribbean, Central American, or Northern South America… or any someone who has advice on an alternative I haven’t looked into yet.

Please email me at SchutzHappens@gmail.com

THANKS!

Day 1033: Top 15 Albums of 2003

2011-05-19T10:00:00.000-04:00

Blink 182 – Blink 182 (Pop Punk)

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Dave Matthews – Some Devil (Rock)

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Death Cab for Cutie – Transatlanticism (Indie Rock)

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Dido – Life for Rent (Trip Hop)

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Evenescence – Fallen (Rock)

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Everclear – Slow Motion Daydream (Alternative Rock)

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Jem – It All Starts Here (Trip Hop)

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Linkin Park – Meteora (Alternative Rock)

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Michael Buble – Michael Buble (Big Band)

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Muse – Absolution (Alternative Rock)

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Sarah McLachlan – Afterglow (Adult Contemporary)

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Snow Patrol – Final Straw (Alternative Rock)

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The Shins – Chutes Too Narrow (Indie Rock)

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The White Stripes – Elephant (Rock)

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Train – My Private Nation (Roots Rock)

Day 1032: FTD Flowers is a Scam!

2011-05-18T10:00:00.000-04:00

As Mother’s Day approached Serena and I thought it would be nice to send flowers to our moms. We haven’t been around for Mother’s Day for quite a few years now and wanted to do something a little more special than just a skype call.

So, Serena started looking at FTD Flowers (www.ftd.com)... Which is VERY expensive and their cheapest set was like $25, plus delivery. And if you’ve ever had flowers delivered you’ll know that delivery fees are not cheap… it was pretty much the same price as the bouquet!

Anyway, Serena remembered something! “A few months ago I sent flowers to my Grandma for her birthday and as a ‘thank you’ FTD emailed me a coupon for 15% off my next purchase!”

Me: “Sweet! Let’s do it!”

Serena pulled up her account, found the email, clicked on the special link provide to claim her deal, and then Serena said, “What the heck? This can’t be right.”

Me: (Looking over her shoulder) “What is it?”

Serena: “Look at the prices.”

Serena had pulled up the same $25.00 bouquet of flowers… but now, the base price was $30.00 with a huge red ‘X’ through it and in large red writing it said, “ONLY $25.00!!!”

I couldn’t believe it. Serena even pulled the two windows up next to each other… I really wish I had screen shots to show you. But trust me. FTD’s ‘special’ 15% off was totally a scam. And I am sure many other companies are doing it too.

Personally, I think lying to customers in an attempt to secure our loyalties is unconscionable.

Anyway, the moral of the story is that. SchutzHappens DOES NOT endorse FTD.com.

Day 1031: Business Class, You Have Forsaken Me!

2011-05-17T10:00:00.001-04:00

Okay, so… as I mentioned the other day I am determined to fly business class back to Belgrade when I finally leave Islamabad. And get this; most of my friends have been getting business class upgrades for as little as $125 to $150 for their one way trips home at the end of their tours.

So, I’m like, “HECK YEAH!” and head down to the Travel Office to find out how much a business class upgrade to Belgrade with run me.

I could totally swing $150 as a gift to myself for a tour well done… and I’m sure Serena wouldn’t bat an eye at the expense either.

Well… the Travel Office informed me the upgrade would cost $1,717.45.

Yeah… I… I just don’t… understand.

I. Will. Not. Cry.

Day 1030: Grayson Is a Lucky Boy, Indeed

2011-05-16T10:00:00.000-04:00

While I was home on my R and R Grayson said the funniest thing while playing with me in the back yard.

So, we were in our backyard throwing around this gigantic Frisbee… the kind made of fabric with Styrofoam around the edges. It’s designed to float more than it is anything else and Grayson and I were having a great time.

Now, one issue we have when playing in the back yard is the fence. It’s a ‘Sandlot’ style fence. Do you remember the movie ‘The Sandlot’? Where the boys play baseball is a vacant lot next to this enormous fence… and whenever they hit a ball over the fence it is lost forever? Well, that’s the kind of fence we have in Belgrade.

Well… Grayson and I are always careful about not getting too close to the fence when we play (although we have lost a couple of things over the edge… including a sandal… which I am still confused about…) anyway, on the day in question Grayson threw the Frisbee wild… it went high into the air and over the fence…

Grayson: “OH NO!”

Me: “Oh man! There it goes!”

And then… it stopped. The Frisbee stopped and just hung in the air for a second (a light wind had blow through the yard and stopped the momentum of the Frisbee… it just hung there floated on the other side of the fence.

Grayson and I held our breaths with no hope of ever seeing the Frisbee again… waiting for the wind to subside and drop the Frisbee into the pit of despair… but it didn’t it just hung in the air. It give you an idea, Grayson and I had time to look at each other and exchange a “What in the world is going on glance” AND return our gaze to the Frisbee without it moving.

Then… just as all hope was lost, the wind didn’t die down… it picked up… and a huge gust of wind came through blowing the Frisbee straight up into the air and as it began to fall back down, it floated back over the fence, into our yard, and into my hands.

Grayson and I were just took a stood there looking at each other… at the fence… the Frisbee… and each other again. Then we both busted out laughing and Grayson said, “I can’t believe it! The Frisbee came back! I just can’t believe it! I’m such a lucky boy! I have a mommy, a daddy, a baby brother, and a helpful wind. I am just so lucky!”

Day 1029: The Myth of Business Class

2011-05-15T10:00:00.001-04:00

So… you might think with all of my travels that I’ve been enjoying the fruits of Business Class. Well, my confession might shock you. I’ve NEVER flown Business… EVER! I’ve only rocked economy.

On second thought, this confession probably isn’t to shocking… I’ve probably already told you this OR you just assumed it because I’m so cheap. (FYI: American Diplomats have to fund their own Business Class Upgrades when on official travel).

Anyway, although I haven’t flown Business Class I have racked up quite a few SkyMiles and I’ve only used them once to buy a ticket from Washington, DC to Charleston, SC… which barely put a dent in them.

So, the point of my story is that on my resent trip from Belgrade to Islamabad I was intent on breaking my economy streak… and from what I’ve heard; if there are open Business Class seats at the time of boarding its pretty easy to use your SkyMiles for upgrades… I had just never tired it… but, that is what I aimed to do!

My flight from Belgrade to Rome is way too short to care, only an hour and a half, so the upgrade would have been a waste of points, so I opted to wait until I got to Rome. And when I got to Rome, I was greeted by one of the friendliest and most helpful ticket/gate agents I have ever met… so I took his word when he told me the flight was full and there was no chance of an upgrade.

However… five and a half hours later, in Doha, things got pretty strange. Again, I had a very helpful gate agent who took my frequent flyer number and added me to the waitlist for upgrades. He told me I was at the top of the list and he seemed hopeful for my upgrade… but when it came time to board nothing happened.

When boarding began and it was my turn to present my ticket (to a different ticket agent) I said, “I’m on the waitlist for a Business Class upgrade.”

Ticket Taker: “Oh sir, this is a full flight, I don’t think there will be an upgrade available.”

Me: “Really? It’s full?”

Ticket Taker: “Yes, it is nearly full.”

Me: (Joking), “Nearly full isn’t full. There could still be a chance!”

The ticket taker laughed, “Yes sir, it is possible.”

And finally, when I was boarding I informed the stewardess greeting us that I was on the business class upgrade waitlist. She asked me to take my assigned seat and they would see if there was any space after boarding.

Nothing happened and me, being a roll with the punches kind of guy made an assumption, “There must not be any space in Business Class.”

And I wish my assumption was correct.

I was sitting at the very front of the economy section… not the bulkhead, but the second row. And about halfway through the flight the two stewardesses working the Business Class section opened the separation curtains and lowered a wall panel (I don’t know why) giving me an unobstructed view of the ENTIRE Business Class Section.

There was ONE person there.

And trust me here, I am not exaggerating. Yes, I do exaggerate from time to time, but not now… there was ONLY one person sitting in business class.

And there I was… in economy… fighting for foot space… heartbroken… dreaming of business class.

I think the time for relying on fate is over… Come July (and the end of my tour) I think I’ve earned my upgrade… and I’m might just have to pay for it.

Day 1028: Worst Part of My 19 Hours of Travel (Doha to Islamabad)

2011-05-14T10:00:00.001-04:00

So yesterday… I may have been unfair picking on my Rome to Doha seat mates… at least after what happened from Doha to Islamabad.

When THE cardinal sin of flying is breached, worrying about people reclining their seats and opening their windows seem trivial.

When I fly I normally keep a bag at my feet. I like to have my stuff close and I can’t stand having to get up to fish things out of the overhead bins.

However, since I had been flying all day and the Doha to Islamabad leg was only going to be 3.5 hours I decided to stow my bag overhead so I could have some extra leg room and relax.

Well… ummm… so I almost always request aisle seats because of my legs (I’m just shy of 6 foot)… but for some reason I had been given a middle seat for the last leg of my trip… smack dab in the middle of the wonder twins... who seemed to like the foot space in front of my seat more than their own.

Now, the first thing I should point out is that none of us had placed a bag underneath the seat in front of us, so there was plenty of foot space for all… so I am still kind of confused as to why they kept using mine.

Secondly, out of the three of us… I was the tallest.

And yes, at one point they both had their feet in MY space.

Now seriously, the problem is that they were tired. They were curling up in their seats cattycorner (rather than straight ahead) and as they relaxed their feet would slowly drift under the seat in front of mine. At least that’s what happened with the guy to my right. Once he realized what he had done, he moved his legs and it didn’t happen again.

The guy to my left, however, just couldn’t take the hint and was oblivious to my non-verbal cues (kicks).

Sure, he would move his feet… but it wouldn’t be long before they were back in my space.

Finally, almost halfway into the flight I thought he had himself under control… at least until I stretched and came into contact with BOTH of his feet… and he didn’t make any attempt to move them… so I turned to him and said, “Hey, I love playing footsy as much as the next guy, but this is my third flight today and I’m just not interested. So, you’re going to need to straighten out so your feet are in front of your seat not mine.”

Yeah… I can be a jerk when I’m tired. But seriously. On an airplane, all you have is your seat and your foot space… it must be defended!

Day 1027: Worst Part of My 19 Hours of Travel (Rome to Doha)

2011-05-13T10:00:00.002-04:00

The people I had to sit next to… and behind.

Now… I know I’m going to sound petty here, but I sat next to folks with some of the most annoying in-flight habits… they drove me nuts! And in my travels I’ve sat next to a lot of different people… some chatty, some smelly, some inconsiderate… but this time around I really scored the dream team.

From Rome to Doha (5.5 hours) I sat behind a guy who liked to recline, which doesn’t really bother me (normally)… but this guy would give me zero warning and drop his seat back with all of his weight, so fast that it would scared me. Like someone was throwing a brick at my face that magically stopped inches from my nose.

Although this only happened a couple times during our flight, it really peeved me when he launched back and actually hit my knees one of the times. My legs had been crossed and he came straight down on top of them, “Ow! Can you please give me a little warning in the future?” He didn’t turn… he didn’t respond… he didn’t give me the universal blank stare that says, “I don’t speak your language, but I am sorry.” He simple lifted his seat up for a second and then launched back again. I wanted to slap him… but I didn’t.

Next to me was a very quite young woman who seemed perfectly normal until she started looking out the window compulsively. Now, again… looking out the window is something people do on planes, so I am not complaining. Sure, every time she opened her window, the glare of the light made ‘The Green Hornet’ unwatchable… but I was less annoyed by her compulsion then you might think. Sure it was annoying at first… but then I found it funny. Just about every 15 minutes (yes, I timed her) she would open her window and look out… only for about 30 to 60 seconds… and then close it again. Honestly, we were up so high there was nothing to see, but she just kept doing it. Open, Close, Open, Close.

I couldn’t help but imagine her internal monologue: “Good, we are still flying.” “Is that cloud following us?” “I shouldn’t have watched ‘Twilight Zone: The Movie’ before going on this flight.”

Day 1026: Best Part of My 19 Hours of Travel

2011-05-12T10:00:00.002-04:00

The BEST part of my three flights has to be the layover in Doha. Now, if you’ve flown through Doha before, you’re probably saying to yourself, “What’s so special about Doha… the airport feels like a bus depot.”

Well, this is true. The Doha airport is a very small, bus station feeling kind of place. BUT, it has some AMAZING food! And frankly, food will ALWAYS trump décor.

Now, this isn’t the first time I’ve raved about the food in the Doha airport and it certainly won’t be the last… But you have to be careful… if you ever end up in Doha, you don’t want to end up eating at the wrong place.

The first thing to keep in mind is that the Doha airport has two floors and they have a food court on each level. I’ve never been to the food court on the first floor, so I don’t know what they have there, but if it’s anything like the upstairs food court it’s nothing to write home about… unless you really want to dine at an A&W or some other random fast food restaurant you’ve never heard of.

That said, take my advice and avoid the “food courts”.

On the second floor, on the opposite end of the terminal from the food court you’ll find a cafeteria. There isn’t really a sign and it’s around a corner, so you won’t actually see it right-a-way. However, it is sandwiched between the Masque, Children’s play area, and Gate 16… so, if you follow the signs to one of those three, you’ll find the cafeteria I’m recommending.

And there you’ll find the best samosas, curries, and stews… and Mountain Dew.

Let me know if you ever check it out.

Day 1025: Back in the Saddle Again!

2011-05-11T10:00:00.001-04:00

Well, I’m back in good-old Pakistan for my last 10 week sprint to the finish and apparently a lot has happened over here in the last three week.

Note to self: “In the future, I should probably read a newspaper while on R&R.”

Lol, just kidding.

Anyway, despite all the worrying my friends and family have been doing over the last week or so, my trip back to Islamabad went incredible smooth… well, as smooth as three flights and 19 hours of travel can be.

Compared to my routing last time (Belgrade-Istanbul-Abu Dhabi-Islamabad), which took MUCH longer on an incredibly uncomfortable airline, this trip was a dream come true!

This time around I was so intent on avoiding the airlines I used last time that I actually flew to Rome first, where I hooked up with Qatar Airways (a MUCH better airline) and flew to Doha and then Islamabad.

The only disconcerting thing about my travels was the temperate of Islamabad when I arrived at 3:15am. It was 80 degrees Fahrenheit outside.

It’s going to be a REALLY hot 10 weeks.

Day 1024: Godzilla, the Musical

2011-05-10T10:00:00.001-04:00

(Do you know of a fun video, website, or picture? Send me a link: schutzhappens@gmail.com)

Day 1023: The Cape

2011-05-09T10:00:00.000-04:00

The Cape stars a good friend of mine from College, but unfortunately the show was cancelled after 13 episodes.

(Do you know of a fun video, website, or picture? Send me a link: schutzhappens@gmail.com)

Day 1022: Caprica Trailer

2011-05-08T10:00:00.000-04:00

(Do you know of a fun video, website, or picture? Send me a link: schutzhappens@gmail.com)

Day 1021: Arthur – Official Trailer

2011-05-06T10:00:00.003-04:00

(Do you know of a fun video, website, or picture? Send me a link: schutzhappens@gmail.com)

Day 1020: UBC LipDub - Raise Your Glass & Celebrity Status (ft. Marianas Trench and more!)

2011-05-06T10:00:00.001-04:00

This is one of the CRAZIEST things I’ve EVER seen on YouTube. It’s amazing.

(Do you know of a fun video, website, or picture? Send me a link: schutzhappens@gmail.com)

Day 1019: New Era Commercial - The Trash Talking Begins

2011-05-05T10:00:00.000-04:00

(Do you know of a fun video, website, or picture? Send me a link: schutzhappens@gmail.com)

Day 1018: The Greatest Movie Ever Sold - Official Trailer

2011-05-04T10:00:00.002-04:00

(Do you know of a fun video, website, or picture? Send me a link: schutzhappens@gmail.com)

Day 1017: Super - Official Trailer

2011-05-03T10:00:00.000-04:00

(Do you know of a fun video, website, or picture? Send me a link: schutzhappens@gmail.com)

Day 1016: Anonymous - Official Trailer

2011-05-02T10:00:00.000-04:00

(Do you know of a fun video, website, or picture? Send me a link: schutzhappens@gmail.com)

Day 1015: Crazy Stupid Love - Official Trailer

2011-05-01T10:00:00.000-04:00

(Do you know of a fun video, website, or picture? Send me a link: schutzhappens@gmail.com)

Day 1014: Outside Adventure

2011-04-30T10:00:00.000-04:00

I don’t know who this guy is, but he’s pretty funny.

Day 1013: The Phone

2011-04-29T10:00:00.000-04:00

(Beware of Bad Words!)

(Do you know of a fun video, website, or picture? Send me a link: schutzhappens@gmail.com)

Day 1012: Friday

2011-04-28T10:00:00.000-04:00

Okay… So I think I missed something. I have no idea what this Friday song was until I saw Conan spoof it. I’ve included both videos, but I’ll warn you… you’ll probably want to pound your head in with a frozen rump roast before the first one is over. So… just get the favor of the first and enjoy Conan in the second.

(Do you know of a fun video, website, or picture? Send me a link: schutzhappens@gmail.com)

Day 1011: Theo Jansen's Strandbeests

2011-04-27T10:00:00.000-04:00

(Do you know of a fun video, website, or picture? Send me a link: schutzhappens@gmail.com)

Day 1010: Charlie Sheen Halloween Costume

2011-04-26T10:00:00.000-04:00

(Do you know of a fun video, website, or picture? Send me a link: schutzhappens@gmail.com)

Day 1009: The Dreaded Stairs

2011-04-25T10:00:00.000-04:00

(Do you know of a fun video, website, or picture? Send me a link: schutzhappens@gmail.com)

Day 1008: Dave Mordal @ Acme

2011-04-24T10:00:00.000-04:00

Beware of bad words...

(Do you know of a fun video, website, or picture? Send me a link: mailto:schutzhappens@gmail.com)

Day 1007: Matrix Ping Pong

2011-04-23T10:00:00.000-04:00

(Do you know of a fun video, website, or picture? Send me a link: mailto:schutzhappens@gmail.com)

Day 1006: Ricky Gervais – Golden Globes

2011-04-22T10:00:00.000-04:00

I have to agree with Ricky on this one. Why can’t we make light if these celebrities hog the spotlight with their atrocious behavior.

(Do you know of a fun video, website, or picture? Send me a link: mailto:schutzhappens@gmail.com)

Day 1005: ‘Fountain Lady’ makes the RidicuList

2011-04-21T10:00:00.001-04:00

Day 1004: A Creative Way to Quit Your Job

2011-04-20T10:00:00.001-04:00

This was not real… but it’s still a pretty funny video.

Day 1003: The Bechdel Test for Women in Movies

2011-04-19T10:00:00.000-04:00

(Do you know of a fun video, website, or picture? Send me a link: schutzhappens@gmail.com)

Day 1002: A (very) Rough Summary of the X-Files Formula

2011-04-18T10:00:00.000-04:00

(Do you know of a fun video, website, or picture? Send me a link: schutzhappens@gmail.com)

Day 1001: Cat and Dolphins Playing Together

2011-04-17T10:00:00.000-04:00

(Do you know of a fun video, website, or picture? Send me a link: schutzhappens@gmail.com)

Day 1000: OK Go - This Too Shall Pass - Rube Goldberg Machine version

2011-04-16T10:00:00.000-04:00

I can’t think of a better way to mark my 1000^th day than kick it to OK Go!

Day 1009: The Dreaded Stairs

2011-04-15T10:00:00.002-04:00

(Do you know of a fun video, website, or picture? Send me a link: schutzhappens@gmail.com)

Day 999: The Hangover Part II - Trailer

2011-04-15T10:00:00.001-04:00

Nice.

Day 998: Honk For Japan!

2011-04-14T10:00:00.001-04:00

This is the same guy who did ‘Daily Life of a NinjaHinja’ and he’s our first nomination for the 2011 SchutzHappens ‘Hug Against Hate’ Award.

Day 997: Introducing Gmail Motion

2011-04-13T10:00:00.000-04:00

Day 996: Songify ‘Winning’ - a Song by Charlie Sheen

2011-04-12T10:00:00.003-04:00

Day 995: Daily Life of NinjaHinja

2011-04-11T10:00:00.000-04:00

Well folks! My R&R hasn’t quite started, but I’m busy getting packed and organized… so yet again, while I am away I’ve left some fun (and funny) videos for your guys to enjoy.