However,
once our shipments of household effects and permanent storage arrived in
Atlanta, her voice lost its sense of pride and gave way to feelings of distant frustration. She was a bit overwhelmed… especially having
two young boys to look after while trying to unpack just about everything we
own. We didn’t merely receive the stuff
we had in Suriname, which was overwhelming enough, but we also received
everything we had placed in storage four years ago when we initially joined the
State Department; making the unpacking process a much larger task than normal.
Although
Serena appreciates my help when it comes to unpacking, she likes to place
everything herself. She likes to make
her own home, which I can’t blame in the least; so most of my unpacking
assistance is restricted to opening boxes and moving them into their proper
locations.
So,
when I finally joined my family in Atlanta, for a mere two weeks, I had a
plan. I would manage the boys so Serena
would have time to do what she needed to do with the house, at least for just a
few hours each day. This was also a
selfish endeavor on my part because I wanted to spend as much time as I could
with my boys. And as I mentioned in my
last post, I was headed to Atlanta without anything hanging over my head… I was
arriving in the proper state of mind to seize the day.
However,
now that Grayson is in school… there wasn’t much to do, at least in the
mornings, except help him get ready for school and walk him to the bus stop and
once Gray was safely aboard and off… that left Gilliam.
Gilliam,
who is now two and a half, and I seem to have a very different relationship
than I do with Grayson. And that
probably has to do with birth order, their age difference, and how old they
were when I left for my one-year tour in Pakistan. Grayson was four and a half. Gilliam was only six months old.
Growing
up, it wasn’t until Grayson was about three years old when he finally zoned in
on wanting daddy time and by the time I left for Pakistan, we had developed a
very strong relationship. And while I
was away Grayson and I spoke, via Skype, almost every day. And during that year we developed a very
cerebral relationship. There was no real
way to ‘play’ over Skype, so during that year I think we got to know each other
quite well. But then again, he was four
and a half at the time and he, kind of, understood what was going on. I’d like to think that we’ve developed the
kind of relationship where we can talk about anything. And dang it, Grayson is a very smart
cookie. He understands a lot, feels a
lot, and has very deep emotions. One of
this favorite things to ask me on Skype, even now, is “how was work today,
dad?”
Gilliam,
on the other hand, was only six months old.
And as he grew, he only knew of me as an idea. “That guy on the computer screen is my
dad.” Dad… whatever that is…
However,
when I came home, two things were obvious.
1) He understood that I am his dad.
And 2) He was ready for some daddy time.
Almost
immediately, Gilliam wanted to do everything with me. Wherever I went, he wanted to come with
me. The store, to a friend’s house, you
name it. With Grayson at that age, and
even a bit older, it took quite a bit of negotiating for him to agree to an
adventure. However, with Gilliam, all I
have to say is “you wanna come?” And
Gilliam is says, “Let me get my shoes.”
So,
when I was home this summer, it didn’t take much for me to get Gilliam out of
the house, giving Serena time to organize the house.
Now, I
will admit, our first morning adventure, which became our standard, was purely
selfish on my part.
I love
coffee. Love it! I have to start my day with it. However, Serena is allergic to caffeine, so
when we left Suriname I shipped all of my coffee making paraphilia to
Eritrea. So, even though we had received
a multitude of household effects in Atlanta, not one coffee making device was
present. So, on my first Monday in town,
I really wanted my favorite cup of coffee… from Dunkin Donuts.
Now, as
I said before, it never takes much for Gilliam to agree to an adventure, but
once he found out a donut was involved he raced to the car without his shoes…
and we were off. A coffee for dad and a donut
for Gilliam.
We
continued this tradition almost every day I was in town and Gilliam loved it almost
as much as I did. As soon as I saw
Grayson off on the bus, Gilliam would say, “Donuts?” Then we would kiss Serena goodbye, pile in
the car, and head out for the morning.
We
would just sit together, enjoy our delicacies, talk, and we became such
regulars that we were allowed into the inner circle of retired folks who
started their day at Dunkin Donuts as well.
And it got to the point that Gilliam wouldn’t let me just order coffee…
we both had to have our own favorite donut… which we shared. We sat across from each other… we sat next to
each other… sometimes Gilliam just wants to sit on my lap… and you know
what? It doesn’t matter. Every configuration felt great.
The
cutest thing about Gilliam and our trips stemmed from something I did on our
first outing. On the way to the Dunk
that first Monday, I called my good friend Costello. If you are avid readers of this blog, you’ll
remember Costello from my saga about ‘The Chair’. Costello is my best friend from High School
and I hadn’t had the chance to see him yet and I knew he was off that morning,
so I left him a message letting him know we’d be at Dunkin Donuts in case he
was awake and interested.
It was
pretty early, so Costello was obviously still sleeping… so I didn’t really
expect to see him there; I merely wanted to touch base. However, when I called, Gilliam, from the
back seat started asking, “Who are you calling?” And I said, “My friend Jeff.” And Gilliam said what he always does when his
questions are answered, “Oh, okay.”
When we
arrived and started ordering, Gilliam asked, “Where is Jeff?” I said, “Oh, he’s probably still sleeping, I
just called to invite him… I don’t think he’ll come.”
Gilliam: “Why?”
And
then from behind us we heard a voice saying, “Wow, they’ll serve anyone around
here…”
It was
Jeff. Aka, Costello.
Gilliam
was almost as excited as I was. It was
almost like Gilliam knew everything Costello had gone through to deliver his
stroller to us in London before he was born.
It was
a great first day at Dunkin Donuts… but it was the only morning Costello was
able to join us. However, that didn’t
stop my inquisitive little man. Every
morning on our way to Dunkin for our coffee and donuts he always asked about
Jeff. “Jeff coming?” “Jeff there?”
“No,
he’s not going to be there today.”
And in
Gilliam’s cute little way, strapped into his car seat, he would say,
“Whyyyyyyyyy?”
“Because
he can’t join us today.”
“But
whyyyyyyy?”
“Well…
he wants to be here, but he can’t, he has to work… but we’ll have fun
right? Just you and dad?”
“Yeah, okay.”
But
that didn’t stop Gilliam from talking about Jeff while we were at Dunkin
Donuts. Whenever a large white truck
pulled into the parking lot, Gilliam would say, “Dad! Jeff’s here!”
Gilliam
would always ask, “Whyyyy” when I told him it wasn’t Jeff, just a car that
looked like his… but you know? At two
and a half Gilliam is a very special boy.
He understands a lot. He knows a
lot. He absorbs a lot. He knows good people when he meets them. He cares… with all of his two and a half year
old heart.
Our
times out to Dunkin Donuts had nothing to do with Costello. It had nothing to do with coffee or donuts… but
it had everything to do with getting to know each other better… and for that…
our time at Dunkin Donuts was a success.
And for that I am grateful.
