Day 836: The Fantasy Fades

As many of you know, I’m a football nut.  I’m very active in Pick ‘Em leagues (which is very different from Fantasy Football).  In Pick ‘Em leagues you simply try to predict the winners of each game and then assign a weighted point value to each depending on how confident you are in your individual picks.  It sounds simple enough, but can be pretty tough…. especially when you have a pool of 20 to 25 people competing against each other ever week.  


Now, this year I was invited to join a traditional Fantasy Football league, which I had never done before, so I said ‘sure, why not’.  Well… because it’s not fun.  It’s more annoying than anything else and its 75% game day luck, because even good players can have bad games… and the other 25% is how lucky you were in the draft, acquiring the players that may or may not be lucky at not getting injured.


Basically, it all starts with a mock draft where everyone needs to choose one quarterback, two wide receivers, two running backs, a tight end, kicker, and a defensive line… players from any team you want… you essentially form a ‘dream team’.  Then each week, depending on how well YOUR players do in their individual games, you generate points.  However, each week the winner isn’t determined by who earns the most points… all twelve teams in my league aren’t fighting in out for supremacy each week… no… I have a schedule… and each week I am paired up with one other team.  Whoever earns the most points wins and our rankings are determined by our win-lose ratio.


Right now I am in sixth place.  Not great, not bad.  BUT, the first place team in undefeated… however, his team has only scored more points than my team in a given week twice this seasons… yet… he’s in first place and I’m in sixth place.  


For a numbers person like myself, I find this annoying. 


Even more annoying is what happened to me last week… I should be in fourth place right now.  You see, my team started a little shaky… but we’ve been solid for weeks racking up win after win.  Last week, going into the Monday Night Football game I was 30 points ahead of my opponent.  Even though we both had one more player on our roster set for that game, it was nearly impossible for him to catch me… mathematically it was a lock!  Excitement, cheers, champagne!    


Oh yeah… I should probably mention that the player on my team I was expecting to seal the deal was the Dallas Cowboys Quarterback Tony Romo… and the math I did neglected the variable of the New York Giants ripping his arm off in the first half.  Literally… he’s out for the season… and more importantly, I lost the game and I dropped to sixth place.  Luck just isn’t on my side here.  Sometimes I think I used up my luck quota when I met Serena... now?  Well… I’m not going to be playing the lottery any time soon.


Alright Matt Ryan, of my hometown heroes The Atlanta Falcons… it’s up to you buddy.  We started in 11th place… we’ve can do this… let’s just make it to the playoffs, okay?  Both of us.  In our real/fantasy football lives. 

Day 594: Olympic Coverage - The Wins?

So… who really win the Olympics Games? Should we crown the country who wins the most medals? Or should we be crowning the country who wins the most gold medals? This seems to be a philosophical question dividing a continent. Is it the United States or Canada?

There are a number of media outfits, like Eurosport, who have been ranking countries by the types of medals they have won, giving president to the total number of Gold’s, then Silvers, then Bronze. You get the idea. According to them, Canada is the winner with 14 Gold Medals, then Germany with 10 Gold Medals, and finally in order to break the third place tie between the United States and Norway, with 9 Gold Medals a piece, they turn to Silver Medals, allowing the U.S. to edge out the Norwegians 15 Silvers to 8.

However, there are other news agencies that use the total medal count in awarding the winning county. Making the United States the all around champ with 37 medals, Germany is again in second place with 30 medals, and Canada claims third place with 26 medals.

So, which one should be use? Well, on their official Vancouver Olympics website (http://www.vancourver2010.com/), our friendly neighbors to the north are giving the number one sport to the United States. How nice is that? I’m probably reading too much into this, because their might be some group of Canadians who debated for weeks on how they were going to tally the medal count feeling very foolish right now… but I have to say… the Canadian’s kicked some very serious Winter Olympic bootie this year. As an America, no matter how you want to tally to results… but we need to chalk this Winter Olympiad up to a neighborhood victory!

Day 588: Olympic Coverage – Sliding Sports

So, I’ve been sledding in the Alps. I don’t mean to brag… but it’s something that I have done… and it’s really run… and it’s pretty difficult. If traditional slope sledding was in the Olympics, it would be extremely impressive. But, instead… we have the trifecta of boring: Bobsled, Luge, and Skeleton. Now, I’m not saying these sports aren’t dangerous. As we all know, sliding sports are very dangerous… but so is Russian Rolette and that isn’t an Olympic Sport. I know, it’s a brutal comparison and I thought about omitting it… but it articulates my opinion in the matter beautifully. These games don’t seem to need a lot of skill to play and the players have very little control over the outcome. They just slide down a tube of ice and hope they go really fast. I’m just saying sliding sports, as a whole, seem so be less about skill and more about overcoming fear, not unlike skydiving and bungee jumping.

For this reason I would expect to see more Curlers opting for the more lucrative sliding sports… its basic physics, right? The more mass you have… the faster you’ll slide down hill… covered in a sheet of ice. After all… remember the American team as a tendency to recruit football players to fill out their four man bobsled team… why? Because they are skilled bobsledders? Or because they can run fast for a quick start and have a lot of mass to aid in getting a faster time? Oh wait… maybe they are skilled bobsledders after all.

Street luge is where it’s at ladies and gentlemen. Head to head races down streets where they cannot utilize rounded corners to help in banking turns.

Here is an idea… let’s turn the luge into a fear factor event. Participates have to correct flags on their way down the track. The racer with the most flags and fastest time wins!

Day 587: Olympic Coverage – Cross-Country Skiing

Seriously folks, I am deeply concerned for Cross-Country Skiing as a whole. While watching the very treacherous 2x15 Kilometer (Standard and Freestyle) I was inundated by an overly dramatic announcer saying things like, “This event is suicidal” or “Can you believe it?” It was all very dramatic.

Now, before I continue, I must admit, that I firmly believe Cross-Country Skiers are the most impressive over all athletes in the Winter Olympics. They are incredible… but apparently, they are also incredibly dim. Eight people did not finish this race. Three of whom were internationally ranked and were considered to be medal contenders. And the three of them actually led the race for a while… but alas… they could not keep up their own pace. Their pace was so unrealistic that they dropped out of the race! Does anyone else find this concerning? Olympic athletes not knowing how to pace themselves? I don’t know about you guys, but if I’m going to enter an event in the Olympics, I’m going to make sure I’ve done it before from beginning to end. Shouldn’t a racer of this level know their limits in order to complete a race successfully?

Incidentally, all 88 competitors competing in the Men’s 20 Kilometer Biathlon completed their race. Apparently, the excitement of firing a gun is enough for some athletes to push through the pain.

Anyway, I kind of wish the American’s were more competitive in Cross-Country Skiing… but you know how it is… why ski when you can drive? When will NASCAR we part of the Olympics?

Day 586: Olympic Coverage - Curling

I think it’s pretty obvious that I champion the rights of pregnant women… but I am a little perplexed by Kristie Moore, the Canadian Curler, who is competing in Vancouver five and a half month pregnant. Now, I am definitely not questioning Kristie’s right to participate while pregnant in the games… but I can’t help but question Curling’s validity of an Olympic sport when its participants can be five and a half month pregnant and still be considered to be in Olympic level physical condition.

Coupled with this, has anyone noticed what many of the non-prego female curlers have been wearing on the ice? It’s pretty hard not to notice because they are wearing black mini-skirts. Seriously, in 1988, when curling first made its Olympic debut in Calgary I thought it was pretty boring… but now? It definitely has my attention… I don’t know what the object of the game is, but apparently inappropriately dressed women are required to roll around on the ice. How this sport hasn’t taken off in the States I will never know.

Now, Curling freely admits that it is not a sport of intense physical conditioning… it is more of a strategic sport of skill and accuracy… like bowling, shuffleboard, bocce ball, horseshoes and lawn darts… incidentally, none of which are Olympic Sports… but maybe they should be. Depending, of course, on the average hemline of the athletes uniforms.

Day 585: Olympic Coverage, Part 2

So, this is my first Olympic viewing experience outside of the United States… and it’s been… well… educational to say the very least.

The first lesson is this: Europeans enjoy different sports than American’s. Actually, scratch that, most of the world enjoy different sports than American’s. But this shouldn’t be a big surprise, right? After all, I’m sure we all know America’s national sport, Baseball, only ranks 7th in worldwide sports viewership, with about 500 million fans. Or maybe you don’t know. What in the world could be more popular than Baseball? Well, I will tell you:

1. Futbal/Soccer, there is no secret that American’s are way behind the 8-ball when it comes to accepting soccer as a legitimate sport. But, with an estimated 3.3 – 3.5 billion fans worldwide, we’re not just behind the 8-ball, but completely out of touch with reality.

2. Cricket, with an estimated 2 – 3 billion fans worldwide, I would assume I could find one person to explain the rules of this sport to me… but alas… I must run in the wrong circles.

3. Field hockey, no… not Ice Hockey… FIELD Hockey rakes 3rd with 2 – 2.2 billion fans worldwide.

4. Tennis, with 1 billion fans.

5. Volleyball, with 900 million fans.

6. Table tennis (ping pong), also with around 900 million fans.

That right folks, table tennis, the Olympic sport that prompts every American to ask the question, “but why?” is more popular than Baseball.

So, that being said, it shouldn’t surprise you that I’ve seen more Ski Jumping this year than Figure Skating.

In fact, Figure Skating is only aired live here, which is around two or three in the morning London time… yet Ski Jumping, Biathlon, and Cross Country Skiing isn’t just aired live, but also repeated during the day… in it’s entirety. This includes all qualification rounds and final rounds.

I’ve seen entire qualification rounds of ski jumping multiple times. I watched the entire 2x15 Kilometer Men’s Cross Country Skiing Pursuit competition without interruption… yet, I’ve only seen about two complete Figure Skating performances. The afternoon after the Figure Skating Pair’s medals were awarded the 24 hours coverage we’ve been “enjoying” in London dedicated a thirty minute block to Figure Skating… as you can imagine, 30 minutes was really only enough time to show the three medal winning couples… nothing else. It was sad.

I want my NBC.

But there is a silver lining. I plan on joining a Ski Jumping fantasy league next year… it’s going to be sweet!

Day 584: Olympic Coverage, Part 1

Olympic seriesSliding sports - tubing & frozen turkeyCoverageSki jumping fantasy leagueWhy Americans are not good at cross county skingBetter cross country skingAre skirts really the best curling uniform?Cross country sking - people dropping outPregnant curlingNow, I’ve been giving NBC a lot of grief over the years. Like an Aztec priest, I’ve been predicting their slow and steady decline… due mainly to three practices the network can’t seem to get away from:

· Cancelling excellent shows prematurely, like ‘Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip’ and the ‘Black Donnleys’
· Championing horrible shows for unknown reasons, like ‘Joey’
· Renewing tired shows that have already run its course… multiple times… like ‘ER’ and ‘Law and Order’

And of course, NBC has shown their complete and total ineptitude with the Jay Leno & Conan O’Brien debacle… a subject I plan to cover in this blog soon.

But for now, I must put my distrust and misgivings for NBC aside and thank them from the bottom of my heart. And for my fellow American’s, you should thank them as well.

Thank you NBC for sheltering us from the horrific boredom that is the Winter Olympics.

Day 567: Go Saints!

I know, I am huge tease, aren’t I? I lay down a thick blog entry announcing an entire series on our Birth Experience… only to follow it one day later with a football post. But, come on folks, I’m still a dude and have to pay homage to the football gods today.

Some of you may know that I LOVE professional football. Not college… I like pro. Scratch that… I love pro ball. And the Falcon’s (or whoever is playing the Colts) are my teams. Why I am a pro football fan… why I am a diehard Falcon’s fan… and why I loathe the Colts? Well, it is a bit of an odd story. Sure, I am from Atlanta, so that should explain the Falcon’s… but it is a little more complicated than that… and honestly, I hated football for a long time. I spent too many years as a marching band brat being drug to countless high school and college games. And furthermore, the influence of pro ball was virtually non-existent in my house. Sure, we watched the Super Bowl from time to time, but in 1984 professional football was pretty much abandoned in my house.

Why is 1984 the year pro-football died? Well, I didn’t grow up as an Atlanta Falcon’s fan… I grew up as a Baltimore Colt fan. And in March, 1984 the Colts left Baltimore. Now, I understand and appreciate the fact that franchised move and reinvent themselves. I am sure there are some diehard Dallas Texan fans out there still burned by their move to Baltimore and subsequent name change to the Colts… but the Colts move to Indianapolis was a bit more sinister… for starters the team moved secretly in the middle of the night. The good people of Baltimore went to bed with a football team and woke up without one. Sinister.

But, when this happened we were already living in Atlanta and the situation could have been forgiven… eventually… but no… the REAL catalyst for my family turning their back on pro ball happened a couple months later during our families summer vacation and a spur of the moment stop in Canton, Ohio to visit the Football Hall of Fame.

Shortly after arriving my mother and father started to notice something very unsettling. Every plaque in the hall of fame referring to the Colts had been changed to say the Indianapolis Colts. Every player inducted into the Hall of Fame who played on the Baltimore Colts we now listed as players for the Indianapolis Colts, including Johnny Unitas. All three NFL Championships won while in Baltimore were changed to give credit to Indianapolis… and the last straw for my father was when he saw the Super Bowl V Room: Indianapolis Colts vs. Dallas Cowboys. I remember my father being very irritated and quickly ushering us out of the Hall and into the car, and from that day forward my father never casually watched another professional football game on an average Sunday afternoon ever again.

BTW, my hats off the Wikipedia, if you look at their list of Super Bowl winners; they give credit to the city the team called home at the time of the win. Why the Hall of Fame couldn’t do this, I don’t know.

And it should also be noted that Serena was born in Indianapolis. The “Indianapolis” Colts is the team she grew up rooting for… this is a sour subject in our house… but I forgive her. Some might call our love a modern day Romeo and Juliet story… but frankly, if just reminds me that nobody is perfect.

Oh, and I’ve only been inside the Indianapolis city limits once in my entire life… it was on a business trip. I had to be paid to go there. BTW, have you signed my petition to mover the Bands of America Competition to Baltimore?

Anyway, how in the world did this embittered curmudgeon learn to love professional football again?

Oddly enough, my love for pro ball was fostered in college. Apparently, young college men MUST follow football… but I went to the College of Charleston… who has no team of their own. So, for some unknown reason as the professional season of 1998 approached my roommates, Michael and Shannon, began lamenting about how they had stopped following football after they got out of the army. And it didn’t take much time to put this longing into action.

We made a household pack to pick one team and follow them religiously for the entire season win or lose. We vowed to be fanatical for the lucky team we picked. That team was the Atlanta Falcon’s. Why the Falcons? Well, Michael and Shannon were both from Charleston, South Carolina. Growing up, the closest professional teams were six hours away in Atlanta… so they grew up watching them. And of course, I was from Atlanta, so that completed the circle. Simple as that… we certainly didn’t pick the team because they were good… the Falcon’s had always been a mediocre team, during the 32 years as a franchise prior to becoming our household team, the Falcon’s had three wild card berths and one conference championship under their belt. And out of these 4 playoff bids, they never once made it past the Divisional Playoff. And it certainly wasn’t because the Falcon’s sported high profile players… because they didn’t have any.

Anyway, back to the point. For those of you who follow football, should have figured out the significance of following the Atlanta Falcon in 1998. That was the year quarterback Chris Chandler led OUR Falcons to a 14-2 season, which was a franchise record which led to a division championship, a conference championship, AND a berth in the Super Bowl. This was the first time and only time the Falcon’s have ever made it to the big game! It was a crazy year… and as the season progressed and the Falcon domination heightened, so did the level of our Sunday afternoon antics.

Shannon worked in an IT field at a very large company and had access to their AV equipment… if nothing was checked out on Friday afternoons, he would bring home a projection TV and we could project the games on one complete side of our living room, floor to ceiling. And as news of our all day bar-bq’s and insanely big screen spread... so did Falcon’s fever.

Our tailgating/pre-game festivities began to start earlier and earlier with every Falcon win. It was madness. What started as three guys looking for some way to make our Sunday’s more interesting… turned into a Super Bowl Sunday I will never forget. The grill was lit at 10am in conjunction with ESPN’s “History of the Super Bowl” coverage on the big screen and our first tailgating arrivals. The viewing party was massive… and the pot luck food spread was unbelievable… we estimated over 150 people over the course of the day crammed into our apartment.

This is why I am a crazy, foaming mouth, nut about pro-football. It was the Fall of 1998… and I know… some day… in my heart of hearts… the Falcon will one day take their rightful place and win that national championship! And I will be there ready to party!

Until then? I am to dominate my football pools… I play multiple pools and I have won every single one of them for the last two seasons… and I’m feeling a threepeat coming on! Got what it takes? I’m up for the challenge!

Enjoy your Super Bowl Sunday’s everyone! And no matter what Serena said, be sure to root for the Saints!