Day: 497: The Beer Crate Guys

Today I thought I would introduce you to the phenomenon of “The Beer Crate Guys.” Every day, I’ve witness these fine gentlemen perched atop their beer crates outside one particular convenient store drinking beer directly out of two litter bottles.

It doesn’t matter what day of the week it is… or what the weather outside is like… dollar to doughnuts, the Beer Crate Guys will be rockin’ the beer crate.

At times, due to their dedication and sense of purpose, I think that this beer guzzling vigil is their job. In short, I have become completely fascinated with them. Some days there is only one… and some days there are 15 to 20… there in never a way of predicting the rhyme or reason of The Beer Crate Guys. Honestly, What I wouldn’t give for a trank gun and a case of satellite tracking collars so I can start studying their migration patterns.

Day 493: Seatbelts, Part 2

Reference: Day 457: Seatbelt Safety in Belgrade

Shortly after posting “Day 457: Seatbelt Safety in Belgrade” something very interesting happened that I wanted to share.

Well, Serena, Grayson and I were driving around… it was a slightly rainy day and we had decided to venture out to see a movie. On our way we were cut off by this guy weaving through traffic. Literally, it was like the guy was in some sort of high speed chase. THEN, right after he weaved in front of two other people, he slammed his brakes on and turned on his hazard lights… stopping in the middle of the right hand lane. We quickly caught up to him. Serena looked. And honestly we’re not sure why he stopped. Maybe it was to take that pressing cell phone call… or maybe it was because he couldn’t see around the 2 year old child sitting on his lap helping him drive. Who know… but it was thoughtful of him to put his hazards on.

Day 489: No Need for Sunglasses

Whelp... winters here. Goodbye sun. See you in the spring.

Day 485: Pulled Over

So… a couple weeks ago I was pulled over by Serbian Police for speeding. That’s was an interesting experience.

Day 482: SchutzHappens Video - October 2009

Day 481: Serbian Fusion

Reference - Day 445: Living Overseas Tip #3

Again, Kerry chimed in and made me realize that I can’t simple throw down a bold statement about Mexican cuisine in Europe without addressing what exactly happened. Well, to be honest. Nothing had happened… at least not yet. Sometimes I simply make things up… but don’t get me wrong, the notions are formed from reality. And for those of you who’ve read my review of Ikki Sushi can probably understand where I am coming from. Cuisine here isn’t exactly what it should seem

Case in point, on another one of our infamous date nights we ventured to a lovely restaurant called “Que Pasa”. I use the word lovely because I really liked the place. The food was good, the atmosphere was nice, the service was amazing… and they mixed a mean Margarita from scratch (no mix). But, truth be told… the Margarita was the only thing offered even remotely reminiscent to south of the boarder cuisine on their menu. In fact, it was pretty much a Serbian/Italian Fusion restaurant… which is actually the case for most restaurants in town… like the equally excellent yet ill-named restaurant: “The Orient Express”… which offered neither “Orient” cuisine, nor speedy service.

Day 477: Clarification - Living Overseas Tip #2

Reference: Day 435: Living Overseas Tip #2

My friend Kerry posed a very good question about my ill conceived game of risk. Who won? Oddly enough… it was the Australians.

Day 473: Dad, I Believe You Are Funny

Grayson and I have made quite the tradition our special guys nights: dinner at McDonald’s followed by a trip to Lilliput (an indoor bouncy castle place). Both our guys nights and Lilliput will eventually be subjects of later postings… but today, I want to focus on Grayson developing sense of humor… which frankly, is amazing to watch. He’s pretty darn funny and his timing is getting pretty good. Right now he is obsessed with “knock-knock jokes” and his favorite is the “interrupting cow knock-knock joke”.

This is normally how it goes:

Grayson: Knock-knock.

Me: Who’s there?

Grayson: Interrupting cow.

Me: Interrupting cow who?

Grayson: Moo… no wait… do it again.

Me: Who’s there?

Grayson: Interrupting cow?

Me: Interup—

Grayson: Moo!

Honestly, I kind of like the joke much better when he messes up the first time… because the look on his face is priceless when he forgets to moo. He looks like an actor who’s forgotten a line he knows he forgot to say.

Anyway, now the jokes I like to play on him is a bit more tortuous. I like to tell him the opposite of things.

Grayson: Dad will you read me a book.

Me: No.

And everything will do silent… and then I will crack a smile and he will start laughing. “Dad, you’re so silly.” And the best part is when he relives the joke with Serena. “Mom… mom… I asked dad to read me a book and he said ‘no’… but he was really just kidding. Daddy is silly.”

And I like to vary it up from time to time.

Me: Grayson, would you like something to drink?

Grayson: Yes, milk please.

Me: Here’s your orange juice.

Now… again… torturous… but his face is priceless. Normally he’ll say something like, “but dad I—“ and then he’ll notice the cup I’m holding out for him (the joke only works when it’s a clear cup)… now Grayson is pretty easy to read and I can always tell the first thing that pops in his head, “why is the orange juice white?” Then you can see the light bulb go on… and he just starts laughing.

So, point of the post (if there is one) is that the other day after our weekly trip to McDonalds, we arrive at Lilliput, I park the car, and Grayson asks “Are we at Lilliput?”

Me: No, I wanted to go to the hardware store.

Of course for about one second Grayson looks shell shocked… and then was like… “No… we’re at Lilliput”.

Me: Sure, we’re going to go to Lilliput after the hardware store unless you’re tired and then we can just go home after I window shop.”

Grayson: No dad… we’re at Lilliput… I know we are… there’s it is.

And he’s right… he’s finally looked out the window to confirm our location. But what really ticked me this time is how Grayson kept going on and on about my little joke.

Grayson: Oh, dad… you said we were going to a hardware store… but we’re at Lilliput. You almost tricked me… I believe that was a good joke.

Me: You really think it was a good joke?

Grayson: No, I believe it was a good joke.

I don’t know why, but he was pretty insistent about using the work “believe” and I kinda dig it.Not to get overly philosophical on everyone, although “think” and “believe” are synonyms they hold very different contexts. To “think” is more like, “Daddy, it could be a funny joke… and I think it is… but there simply isn’t enough data to support that conclusion.” But, to “believe” is much more absolute… to your core. Question: do you think God exists? Or do you believe in God? I guess in the end, Grayson taught me a valuable lesson in the power of words.

Anyway, I must admit one thing… I need to figure out a new joke before Grayson turns 16… or he’s going to be mighty disappointed when he finds an empty garage after I tell him I’m not buying him a car.

Day 469: Sushi Grade?

So… yeah… not every choice in life is a good one… trust me I know, I have made quite a few bad decisions in my life, but none quite as comical as this.

Serena and I try to go out about once a week for a date night. When we first arrived in Belgrade we were pretty religious about it. It was fun, frolicking hand in hand exploring the city and checking out various restaurants. I describe this tradition in past tense because, as you can imagine, we’re not venturing out quite as much as Serena’s pregnancy progresses.

But anyway, this is pretty much how a normal date night would run down: at some point during my work day, I would receive a text message from Serena with an address. After work, I would jump in a taxi, get yelled at by the driver for putting on my seatbelt, and eventually I would be dropped off at the appropriate address (more or less). Most of the time I wouldn’t really know where I was going and I would simply end up in close proximity to a small bar/café where Serena was waiting… and this bar/café would always be a couple doors down from some restaurant we’d heard about, where we would eventually go have dinner.

Well… this one night… we probably should have stayed at the bar. For on that faithful date night… we through it would be nice to have some sushi. (Please note this was well before Serena was pregnant).

Hey, I know that sushi isn’t for everyone… I know… but I really like sushi… and that night I had the worst sushi I had ever had in my entire life. Now, the comedy behind this outing was actually pointed out by Grayson. Who, apparently, thought it was very funny that his parents were going to an icky restaurant for dinner.

I guess I should clarify. The name of the restaurant was “Ikki Sushi”.

Luckily… food poising was not on the menu.