Day 649: London Movie Review - Harold and Kumar Get the Munchies

Well, I was flipping through the channels again and I came across something very odd: “Harold and Kumar Get the Munchies”. My first thought was, “Great, just what the world needs, yet another sequel to overly sophomoric, lewd and drug themed misadventure of Harold and Kumar.” But, sophomoric drug humor aside, don’t be too judgmental, Harold and Kumar launched the careers of two relatively no-name actors and revitalized one child-star legend:

· John Cho is a former High School English teacher turned actor who has taken over the role of Hikaru Sulu in Star Trek and is currently in the television Drama “Flash Forward”.

· Kal Penn has a sociology degree from UCLA, went on to play Dr. Lawrence Kutner on “House”, and is currently Associate Director of the White House Office of Public Engagement. Plus, Kal is a strict Hindu… he doesn’t drink, smoke, or eat meat. While making the Harold and Kumar movies, he did a remarkable thing… he acted.

· Neil Patrick Harris… well this is the performance that got him the role on “How I Met Your Mother”… Neil plays a drug sniffing/womanizing fictional parody of himself. In a word: his performance is Legend… wait for it… -dary.

Okay, yes, sure, I admit it… I’ve seen both movies, “Harold and Kumar Got to White Castle” and “Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay”. “White Castle” was pretty funny, but “Guantanamo Bay” was skippable (except Neil’s camero… that’s worth seeing).

Anyway, I found it disgustingly unnecessary to see there was a 3^rd movie: “Harold and Kumar Get the Munchies.” Now, you, my loyal reads may have figured it out… it only took me a minute or two, myself… but “… Get the Munchies” is the alternative, overseas, title for “… Go To White Castle.”

And just as quickly as the light of recognition began to dawn I began to feel a bit dirty… and dejected… and, quite frankly, discriminated against. I’m from Georgia, folks! We don’t have White Castle in Georgia. In fact, White Castle only exists in thirteen US States. Which means New Line Cinema found it perfectly acceptable to market the title “Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle” in a United States, were 74% of the county, geographically, does not have access to a White Castle, yet, for some reason found it necessary to change the title for an overseas market.

“… Get the Munchies”? Why not release the film in the Deep South under the title “Harold and Kumar Get the Hankerin’ for Some Vittles”? No, seriously, the entire point of the movie isn’t for Harold and Kumar to quell their appetite with munchies… it’s to quell their appetite with White Castle burgers.

Seriously. To change the title of a film that is already seeping in such regional tradition is unnecessary. I don’t know… maybe it’s me… maybe I am over thinking it… which I am known to do... but in the spirit of New Line Cinema, from now on, I will be referring to the following films by their alternative titles:

Moulin Rouge: “Gentlemen’s Club”

Letter from Iwo Jima: “The Good Clint Eastwood War Movie”

Seven Years in Tibet: “That Brad Pitt Movie”

Australia: “Gentlemen’s Club 2”

In Bruges: “Sightseeing with a Midget before Ralph Fiennes Tries to Kill Us”

Anyway, you get the point…

In other news, I regret to inform you that there really is a 3^rd Harold and Kumar movie on its way next year… but I am sure this one will be a bit more wholesome… after all… it’s going to be a Christmas movie!

Day 648: 1960s Batman Revisited!

You know? This is a great time for being a boy’s dad. For the most part, toymakers haven’t come up with any new ideas… so as a dad you get to revisit all of your favorite characters, shows, and toys from a new perspective. It’s pretty crazy… everything marketed to boys today are the same things that were marketed to me: The Ninja Turtles, Batman, Spiderman, Transformers, GI Joe and Star Wars… oh man! Star Wars is awesome the second time around! And the best part about having a boy who is obsessed with Star Wars is the fact I get to watch the movies all the time! Seriously, when Grayson gets to pick the movie for Family Movie Night and Grayson wants to watch Star Wars Serena doesn’t put up much fight… and then I get to watch Star Wars! How awesome is that?!?

But… besides Star Wars there was one other childhood obsession of mine that I am revisiting and seeing in it in a whole new light: The 1960s Batman series with Adam West. When I was a kid, I was OBSESSED with this show. I can’t remember what station aired it… probably Nickelodeon. When I was growing up Nick wasn’t really making original programming and was airing other shows… like The Monkee’s… which is another obsession of mine.

But anyway, the fact that Batman was originally marketed to adults was completely lost on me until now. This show is hilarious. It has probably been close to 20 years since I’ve sat down to watch an episode of this show… and honestly, it’s like watching a completely different show.

This rediscovery was, of course, by complete accident. We are actually pretty careful about the TV and Movies Grayson is allowed to watch. Hiding Star Wars and Marvel Superheroes, due to marketing campaigns is almost impossible to avoid and about a year ago Grayson started asking me who Luke Skywalker was… and Spiderman… The Ninja Turtle, Superman, Batman… you get the idea.

And you know what? It’s pretty hard to deny your kid an explanation… especially since you know the kids in the neighborhood who are a couple years older are the ones planting the seed.

So, when Grayson asks I’ll normally sit down and tell him stories and show him pictures and present the characters in a pretty watered down fashion. And we planted one very specific seed of our own, “The things in books, tv, and movies are not real. They are make-believe.” And Grayson has accepted that… and because of this, he’s already grasped the concept of actors pretending and playing parts.

Anyway, eventually he started asking about Spiderman and Superman movie. He wanted to see these heroes in action. But, honestly, he’s not ready for most of the material out there… although Serena found the old Spiderman cartoons from the 1960s on youtube, so we watched those… and then he looked at me one day and said… “I want to see Batman”. Now Batman is a different story… the animated Batman series is not Grayson approved (yet), and at the time he hadn’t been introduced to live-action shows… mainly just animated. So… you know? We took a leap and showed in the original 1960’s two hours Batman TV movie that ended up launching the entire series. Grayson loved it… and I found myself catching things I never realized was there. Inside jokes and tongue in cheek social commentary.

It was great!

I recommend everyone go and revisit something you thought was awesome as a kid… except for MacGyver. If you thought MacGyver was awesome when you were a kid… then keep on thinking it without looking back… I don’t want to crush your memories.

Day 647: Wacky Website of the Week – CrazyPatents.com

In honor of all the amazing Patent Attorney’s in my life… one of whom seems to be addicted to this blog… and since I am not above pandering to my audience base… I dedicate today to Crazy Patents!

Also, since I’m not above bathroom humor either… I’m linking you directly to the bathroom “crazy patent” page:

http://www.crazypatents.com/htmls/bathroom.htm

Most notably, the toilet bowl target intended to “attract the attention of urinating male humans”. I don’t know… but this seems like a very poorly written patent. Why limit this to “humans”. I’ve seen “Meet the Parents”, humans are not the only species who uses the toilet… by limiting your product to humans; you are opening the door to copy cats marketing to other species. I’m just saying…

All in all, I was expecting more from this site. There are some very strange things if you surf around, like the “Toe Puppets”, “Jet Powered Surfboard” , “Dust Cover for Dog “ and a “Flushable Vehicle Spittoon”.

However, I find most of these “crazy” patents are extremely practical things like the “Portable Bar”, “Novelty Sports Hat”, “Birthday Cake Candle Extinguisher”, “Motorized Ice Cream Cone” and “Wing Apparatus for Skiers”. I mean… COME ON! These ideas are not crazy… they are genius!

Frankly, this site is a letdown. Spend a good thirty minutes with an honest to God patent attorney and they will have you rolling on the floor laughing… in tears even… well… maybe not tears… but the stories are pretty darn good.

Site improvement recommendation: Give the reader some back ground on the inventor! Why were they inspired to design such “crazy” things? Like they say in the movie “Robots”, “See a need, fill a need.” What need was the “Wing Apparatus for Skiers” filling?

Hmmm…

Day 646: London – British Children’s Shows

One of the most peculiar things I noticed about life in London, as an American, was children’s television programming. For the most part, the Brit’s air the same shows PBS and Nick Jr air in the States… although; they are all redubbed with British accents. At first Serena and I found this odd, however we quickly accepted this change. You know? It’s important for children to hear voices that sound like their own. Right? After all, most children’s shows are made in the States… or Canada. You know what I’m talking “aboot”.

Although… I don’t believe we redub shows in the States. If I remember correctly, Peppa Pig, Charlie and Lola, and the Upside Down Show are NOT redubbed for American Audiences.

Anyway, for the most part the redubbing was okay. However, there were two shows in particular that we found… how should I say? Umm… we found them annoying and strange.

As you can imagine, animated shows would lend themselves easily to redubbing. Shows like “Super Why?” were perfectly normal once you got used to the different voices and accents. But, this redubbing completely ruined one of our household favorites: “The Backyardigans”. Why? The singing was HORRIBLE!

In the States, the focus of The Backyardigan’s is to promote imaginative play while also encouraging the performance arts through song and dance. And I have to admit, the stories and music featured on you average episode of Backyardigan’s is quite good. The music is very catchy and I catch myself singing their songs to myself from time to time.

But, then again, in the State’s they use professional singers to record the songs. However, in the UK, they don’t. The British version is so utterly and completely painful, singing wise, that I can stop pummeling myself in the head with the most accessible blunt object. Seriously folks… vocally, it’s like watching a second grade choral recital. Production value people! Production value!

Day 645: London – Poor Hygiene is Bad for Business

Strange observations seemed to be the cornerstone of my time in London. But this one really tickled me. It was an ad campaign encouraging business owners to adhere to national hygiene regulations. The campaign was titled “Good Business”.

Now, when I first saw this poster I thought the ad campaign was incredibly bold… at least from an American perspective. I repeatedly saw the same poster featuring the dim interior of an Indian Restaurant and the restaurants bewildered looking manager. The caption? “Poor Hygiene is Bad for Business.” Follow the link below to see it for yourself.

http://www.food.gov.uk/multimedia/pdfs/publication/posterindianresturant.pdf

Could you imagine this kind of awareness campaign going on in the United States? What do you think the Indian-American population would do in the States? Crazy.

I was so taken back by the poster that I jotted down the website to take a closer look. As it turns out, this poster was one of five in circulation. Also included were Gastro Bars, Chinese restaurants, Sandwich bars, and Fish and Chips shops. See below:

http://www.food.gov.uk/multimedia/pdfs/publication/postergastro.pdf

http://www.food.gov.uk/multimedia/pdfs/publication/posterchineserestaurant.pdf

http://www.food.gov.uk/multimedia/pdfs/publication/postersandwichbar.pdf

http://www.food.gov.uk/multimedia/pdfs/publication/posterchipshop.pdf

So, in the end, I guess there was a certain amount of diversity in the campaign, however, I only noticed the Indian poster in my neighborhood.

Hmmm… what five types of restaurants would you opt to throw under the bus? That’s my question of the day!

Day 644: Product Review - Keurig Single-Cup Home-Brewing System

100 STARS

Okay… how do I put this? If you are a coffee drinker… owning a Keurig coffee system… is like… winning the Masters ever morning for the rest of your life!

http://www.amazon.com/Keurig-B60-Special-Single-Cup-Home-Brewing/dp/B000AQSMPO/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=home-garden&qid=1271342372&sr=8-2-spell

Day 643: Poisonous Vietnamese River Fish! It’s What’s For Dinner!

So… okay… I don’t even know where to begin. I… well… hmmm… so, shopping in Serbia can be a bit of an adventure sometimes, especially at the meat counters of grocery stores. This, of course, is due to the language barrier. Meat is cut differently here, so it’s hard to identify the part of the animal the cut comes from… and unless it’s salmon or still has a head, fish is very hard to identify. So, when Serena gets home from the store, it’s not uncommon for her to get on the computer and run a translation to identify exactly what she just bought.

A few weeks ago, she bought a very nice looking piece of white fish… and after looking it up? Well… I can’t really comment on it… just take a look:

http://www.dietmindspirit.org/2008/01/30/why-you-shouldnt-eat-this-fish-pangas-pangasius-vietnamese-river-cobbler-white-catfish-gray-sole/

Day 642: Happy Birthday Willy-Boy!

“There was a star danced, and under that was I born.” - William Shakespeare

What a great quote!

That’s right folks… I couldn’t let Willy’s birthday pass without taking a moment to pay my respects.

And interestingly enough, there is a little bit of Shakespeare going on right here in Belgrade. Ralph Fiennes is in town directing a film version of his favorite Shakespeare play: Coriolanus.

Coriolanus is a pretty interesting choice for a feature length film because it’s one of those plays only Shakespeare-Nuts know or care about. Notably, this will be the 7^th time Coriolanus will be put on film yet it could make history by being the first to be released to English speaking theatre audiences. And get this… it’s been 26 years since it was last produced.

First, in 1948, Studio One condensed the story of Coriolanus into one 60 minute episode.

Second, in 1963, the BBC produced a 9 part Mini Series based on the play. They called it “The Spread of Eagle”… because simply calling it “Coriolanus” wasn’t dirty enough for those cheeky bastards.

Third, a year later, in 1964, the Italian’s produced from what I’ve read, a horrible boring piece of rubbish based on the play.

Fourth, again, the following year, in 1965 the Brit’s finally realized “Coriolanus” is dirty enough to stand on its own and nine hours of iambic pentameter is more than any human being can take, so… They scaled down the production and relaunched it as a TV Movie of the week! Oddly enough, The Hallmark Cannel has not picked this version up for syndication.

Fifth, in 1979, Denzel Washington makes his film debut as “Roman Soldier” alongside future “Glory” co-star Morgan Freeman… who was playing the slightly more pivotal role of Coriolanus. The film went straight to video and was never heard from again. This film is so obscure that James Lipton hasn’t mentioned it on “Inside the Actors Studio”.

Sixth, in 1984, the BBC re-organized again and launched yet another production of “Coriolanus”. Incidentally, this is the ONLY version of the play available for purchase on Amazon.

Honorable mention: There have been two German “versions” of the play produced. One in 1950 and the other in 1978. However, they are based on an adaptation credited to Bertolt Brecht… sorry dude! It’s not your birthday… so you don’t count!

So, finally… here we are, 26 years later, gearing up for a brand spanking new installment of “Coriolanus” directed by He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named. I’m totally stoked! Mainly because their filming in Belgrade… I’m really interested in seeing how he plans to use the city.

Oh, and I almost forgot. Ralph was on Serena and Gray’s flight to London in December. He flew over during a break in shooting the new Harry Potter movie to do some pre-production work. His British Airways flight was canceled and he ended up on Serena’s JAT flight.

But alas… Serena neglected to get a picture of Grayson sitting in his lap. HOW DOES THIS NOT HAPPEN?

Day 641: London Series - Hallmark Stores

Riddle me this. It’s been a while since I’ve been in a Hallmark store in the States. Have they turned to the dark side? Have they become uber-trendy-disgust-o-piles? The reason I ask is this:

While in London, I took Grayson to a Hallmark store to pick out a Valentine ’s Day card for Serena… and I couldn’t help but feel a little dirty. The store didn’t feel like Hallmark… it felt like had walked into a “Spenser’s Gifts”. You know the store I am talking about. The trashy mall gift store? The Hallmark store in London was pretty much a Spenser’s that has a greeting card section. It was really strange.

In my mind, Hallmark is the kind of store you can take your grandma to… has it really turned into a store dedicated to gag gifts for immature prepubescent boys?

Thank about it… get back to me.

Day 640: Wacky Website of the Week – Spamgifts.com

Hmmm… there’s nothing better than curling up in your Spam blanket on a cold day exchanging your favorite Spam recipies with the rest of the Spam-o-philes out in the world.

http://www.spam.com/shop//

Day 639: TV Review – American Idol

I need to stop reading the news on Thursday’s. Serena and I are normally a day behind on our television watching, which means, we normally watch American Idol on Wednesday and Thursdays… and every week, the media has ruined everything! I had no idea American Idol was still so darn noteworthy.

Part of my daily routine is checking in on the various news agencies around the world… and every Thursday I forget to guard myself from the truth… and every Thursday these news agencies run front page headlines on the newest Idol castoff. Maddening! Have you no shame?!?

Listen… I admit it… I dig American Idol. However, when you know who’s going to be sent home it is an incredible boring show. Some weeks, when Serena and I are busy, we don’t get around to watching American Idol until Thursday night, so we watch the performances and the results back to back. This is about three hours worth of American Idol… now… imagine watching those three hours knowing who gets sent home… and pretending you don’t know because you don’t want to ruin the anticipation for the person sitting next to you. Every week!

ARG!

Okay, so I have this outlook task that reminds me to read the news every morning. Today, I tweaked it. It will no longer generate a “Read the news” task on Thursday… and just to be safe… I programmed another task that says, “DON’T READ THE NEWS TODAY” that only regenerates on Thursday’s. I think I am ready… next week will be different. I hope.

Day 638: London – Christmas Pantomimes

It seems that children’s theatres called pantomimes are all the rage over the holidays in London… Why they are called Pantomimes, I have no idea… because the actors talk… so, it’s not really a pantomime. Anyway, these, so called, pantomimes are very popular with families and many theatres shut down their normal production runs to mount a Christmas pantomime during the Christmas Holidays. In fact, these shows are so well received that theatre are able to attract celebrities to appear in them.

While we were in town, Pamela Anderson was featured playing the Genie in a Christmas Pantomime production of “Aladdin”. I know, right! Nothing sounds more like Christmas than Pamela Anderson handing out wishes to an impoverished ne’er-do-well!

Although I was unable to attend one of these “pantomimes” myself… most had closed around the time I arrived in London, it has left me with a very perplexing question… are Christmas Pantomimes British Theatre’s answer to Reality Television?

Hmmmm…

Day 637: Product Review – The Smokenator 1000

This thing rocks! For any of you charcoal addicted, hard core smokers… and by smokers I mean indirect grillers of meat… this is the ultimate product!

Essentially, The Smokenator 1000 turns your Weber Charcoal Grill into a water smoker. I’m still trying to figure out all of the nuances of the product, but so far I love it!

Check out the website (http://smokenator.com/) and youtube video embedded below:

Day 636: The Return of the Beer Crate Guys

Do you smell it? Spring is in the air. And after a long winters hibernation… the guys are rockin’ the beer crates once again! Man… I missed those guys!

Day 635: Friday Film Review – Mary Poppin’s & The Sound of Music

Two weeks ago Grayson and I watched “Mary Poppin’s” together. It was awesome. I had forgotten what a long movie it was… but Grayson muscled through… in two sittings. Being an Oscar buff, I must note that Mary Poppin’s is Grayson’s very first movie features an Oscar Winning Oscar performance. This is quite a big deal in my world.

This past weekend we made Grayson Movie History Again with “The Sound of Music” as Grayson’s first ever Oscar winning Best Picture. Again, it took two viewings to get through the film, but Grayson seemed to like it a lot. My little man even picked up on Julie Andrews. About fifteen minutes into the movie Gray looked at Serena and said, “Hey, that’s Mary Poppin’s!”… which seemed to give the movie even more clout.

He’s done this once before while in London watching the movie “Underdog” featuring Jason Lee as the voice of Underdog. Not long into the movie he started shouting, “Underdog is Dave! Underdog is Dave! They have the same voice!” Well, he was 100% correct. The Dave he was talking about was Dave Seville from the live action version of “Alvin and the Chipmucks” starring Jason Lee as Dave. I was pretty amazed by Gray’s connection on this one since there were no visual clues… Jason Lee never appeared on camera in “Underdog”.

Anyway, this is just another reason why Grayson is awesome.

Day 634: London Series – BBC Documentaries

One evening, after the rest of the family went to sleep I found myself channel surfing. I came across a very odd documentary airing on the BBC, titled, “The Influence of Latin Music in American Culture”. The documentary itself was pretty interesting… however; I thought it was very strange subject to watch on the BBC.

This is like PBS airing a special on the influence of French culinary techniques in British cuisine. Interesting sure… but a tad out of place.

Day 633: Wacky Website of the Week – Hats Of Meat

Honestly… I really don’t know what I can possible say about this website.

Enjoy!

www.hatsofmeat.com

Day 632: TV Review – ‘Pushing Daises’ and the Writers Strike of 2007

Have any of you seen “Pushing Daises”? I loved this show! It’s was smart and witty and quirky and very fast paced. It was REALLY good. But, like may shows from 2007, the writer’s strike ruined its momentum. I’m sure you guys remember this strike… it lasted 100 days! For “Pushing Daises”, they had only completed 9 episodes prior to the strike… and when it was called off on February 12, 2008, there just wasn’t enough time to put shows back into production.

So, the networks ended up canceling a bunch of decent new shows once their initial order of episodes finished like “Carpoolers”, “Women’s Murder Club”, “Big Shots”, “Aliens in America”, “K-ville”, and “Cane”.

Hell, even the producers of battle-tested shows like “24” wrote off the entire season opting to regroup for the following year.

However, some lucky shows premiering in 2007, like “Pushing Daises”, they were brought back for a second season… unfortunately, it was a rather pointless season. “Push Daises” was canceled during its second season after the completion of its initial 13 episode order. Thankfully, the networks gave them enough notice to rework their final episode offering some semblance of closure for the show. “Pushing Daises” was not alone. It was one of many writers strike survivors who ultimately bit the dust midway through season two. Do you remember any of the following shows: “Samantha Who”, “Reaper”, “Dirty Sexy Money”, “Life”, and “Eli Stone”?

Sadly, I was a loyal fan of all these shows. Thanks to my tivo, I’ve slowly been catching up on each of them watching their final episodes. “Pushing Daises” is on my mind because I finally caught up on the show last month. Watching the final eight episodes over the course of a week, I remembered why I loved the show so much. As far as crime solving shows go, “Pushing Daises” was light and refreshing and was unlike anything else on TV at the time or any other time. Its cancelation makes me sad… even two years later.

Whelp, I now have eight episodes of “Reaper” to watch and I will be official caught up on all these very unfortunate shows.

Oh, and you’re probably wondering… what new show’s premiered in 2007 before the writers’ strike and returned successfully? Well, here they are: “The Big Bang Theory”, “Chuck”, “Private Practice”, and “Gossip Girls”… that’s it. Only four shows premiering in 2007 made it to season three.

Day 631: London Series – Airlines of Questionable National Origin

Now that the epically long Birth Experience Series is over it’s time to move onto other topics, like our non-birth related misadventures in London. I’ve been hearing from various folks that I haven’t given enough attention to that part of our stay… so now, I guess, is as good of a time as ever to talk about London… which was a very interesting and fun city to live in, even if it was for only two months.

Now, many of you, who read this blog religiously, know that I have an eye for the strange and an equally “off” sense of humor… so to begin this new London Series I would like to tell you about an Airline of Questionable National Origin.

Every day on my way to work I would pass the London office of this Airline. Every day, I would see an attendant stationed at each of their five or six computerized kiosks ready to assist customers. Every day, I never saw customers… yet they were always fully staffed. They must have been keeping up appearances.

Anyway, my confusion over their bizarre staffing patterns hit home one evening when I was walking home. You see, the Airline’s kiosks are situated perpendicular to the street, so when I walked to work, I saw the kiosks from the customers perspective… however, when I walked home, I saw these kiosks from the employee’s perspective. I never really took notice of the employee perspective until about halfway into my stay in London. Most nights I would glance over to verify their complete lack of customers… but on one faithful night, I glanced over and saw what was on the closest computer screen. I stopped… and then I look down the row of kiosks… and they were all doing the exact same thing… all of the employees of this Airline of Questionable National Origin were playing Solitar.

Day 630: Product Review – Transformers Animated Activators

To describe this product line as “crap-tastic” would be giving Hasbro too much credit for their “engineering marvels”. By engineering marvel, I am of course referring to their success in making a successful product… that is… if the product was intended to make children cry and parents frustrated.

Bravo!

Last October, I went back to the States for a week to attend a funeral. I took this trip solo. Before leaving, I asked Grayson if he wanted me to get him something. As any young child being successfully raised, Grayson’s only request was the Transformer “Bumblebee”. How could I deny his one request?

During my trip I ducked into a Target and found an overwhelming number of Bumbleebee options. Models for all different age groups. Since Gray was 3 at the time, I settled on the “Animated Activators” line of Transformers. It was advertized 4+ and featured an activator button, which, when pressed, “Pops” the action figure from car mode to robot mode. Perfect, right? The price was right too, so I also picked up Megatron and Grimlock as well.

This was a mistake. These Transformers are made very cheaply and feature arms and legs that easily pop off. Furthermore, the activator buttons for Megatron and Grimlock never worked properly, so it was near impossible to transform them into their not robot modes… they would immediately pop back into robot form.

This became very frustrating for both Grayson and me. You see? Although Grayson loves transformer, at 4 years old, he can’t really manipulate the transformation process… which is why the activator buttons are fun. He would turn it into a robot and then give it to me to turn into a car, dinosaur, or helicopter. As pieces began to break off and activator buttons stopped working (within minutes to opening the package), Grayson couldn’t do anything with the figures.

As for me? If I knew my son wouldn’t be able to use the action figure advertized for his age group… and I would be stuck transforming it for him… I would have forked out the money for a really nice one. One that wouldn’t break and one that would be fun for me to transform. One that would work.

In the end, I threw Grimlock and Megatron away. They weren’t worth the hastle. Bumblebee is still okay… it seems to work a little better.

Bumblebee: http://www.amazon.com/Transformers-Animated-Activators-Bumblebee-Action/dp/B0019AI5MU/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&s=toys-and-games&qid=1269856015&sr=1-3

Grimlock: http://www.amazon.com/Fireblast-Grimlock-Transformers-Animated-Activators/dp/B002MC5LCQ/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=toys-and-games&qid=1269856015&sr=1-1

Megatron: http://www.amazon.com/Megatron-Transformers-Animated-Activators-Action/dp/B001JP53DO/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&s=toys-and-games&qid=1269856015&sr=1-5

Day 629: The Birth Experience – Wolf Moon

So, this is my final post about our birth experience. Hurray! Right? Lol. I know… I’ve been prattling on. But don’t worry; this one is going to be pretty loose.

Since having Grayson and Serena becoming a certified labor doula I have learned more about childbirth than any man should. Honestly… I know way too much… I thought I had filled every nook and cranny of my brain with useless TV and Movie trivia knowledge… apparently I didn’t.

The hilarious part about childbirth is that it’s nothing like they show in the movie… or television. Well, unless you’re watching Grey’s Anatomy where they cut out every baby. Anyway, I digress. You know what I’m talking about. Every time someone is ready to give birth on a television show or movieits the same thing every time: “Oh! Honey, my water just broke, it’s time to go to the hospital.” Folks… this isn’t normal. Only about 8 to 10 percent of women have their water break prior to labor actually beginning. So, the idea of Serena’s water breaking was the farthest thing from our collective mind. It’s just so darn rare… well… unless you’re an actress… or it’s the “Wolf Moon”.

The Wolf Moon is the nickname for January’s full moon… and it also marks the moment each year when the moon is closest to the Earth physically. Well, apparently, the Wolf Moon is also known for sending women into labor Hollywood style. Serena’s water broke before labor started. And once it broke? Woo baby… labor started.

I for one would call something like the “Wolf Moon” hog wash… however, over the three day weekend of the Wolf Moon, the maternity ward at St. John and Lizzies Hospital filled up. I believe they had close to 10 births that weekend… and all 10 moms started labor due to their water breaking. For a birthing unit which normally delivers one baby every day and a half… 10 is a lot… and due to their starting patterns seem like much more than a coincidence. It’s spooky!

Hmmm…

Day 628: Movie Review – Funny People

Have you ever heard of a man named Tom Schulman? No? Well, Schulman won the Oscar for Best Original Screen Play in 1989 for “Dead Poets Society”. Awesome movie, right? Well, in Hollywood, Schulman wasn’t really know for writing Oscar worthy movies... his other work includes “Honey, I Shrunk the Kids”, “Welcome to Mooseport”, “What About Bob?”, “Holy Man”, “8 Heads in a Duffel Bag”, and “Medicine Man”… sure, these movies may be entertaining, however, none of them contain any substance comparable to “Dead Poets Society”.

What made “Dead Poets Society” so different from the rest of his work? It’s because Schulman lived it. He grew up in a prep school. He based Robin William’s character on a real professor he had while at the Montgomery Bell Academy for boys.

What’s my point? Every writer has a “Dead Poets Society”.

And for Judd Apatow, best known for “The 40 Year-Old Virgin” and “Knocked Up”, “Funny People” is his “Dead Poets Society”. He wrote a movie about his experiences as an up-in-coming stand-up.

The movie has the look and feel of a REALLY LONG James L. Brooks movie. I emphasize the long part because the movie runs around two hours and fourty-five minutes… which explains why “Funny People” wasn’t a box office dynamo. Even with Adam Sandler and Seth Rogen at the helm.

However, I wouldn’t suggest the film to be trimmed down for time. The film builds in very interesting, emotional, and comic ways. The lives of these characters are real and believable… and over the course of the movie they grow… and you grow with them… and as an audience member you see genuine moments where friendships are forged. It’s a really beautiful movie. The movie may be long, but the audience needs to see the character build over time for them to be believable.

But don’t get me wrong… the movie can be rough and vulgar at times, after all, it’s a movie about stand-up comics. But it’s a REALLY GOOD movie about stand-up comics. Film critics should have gotten behind this film more… it was solid. It’s a truly great Dramedy with really great performances.

Go see it and let me know what you think!

Day 627: The Birth Experience - House Calls

The most interesting experiences regarding Serena’s birth in London were the house calls made by trained midwives after we went home.

I remember one of the most annoying and nerve racking thing associated with Grayson’s birth, after leaving Northside, were the multitude of doctor’s visits. It seemed like every few days we had to pack-up the whole family, drive to the doctor’s office, sit in the waiting room for about an hour, only to spend enough time with the doctor to hear the worlds, “everyone looks great!” It’s a waste of time and energy if you ask me.

Now, although Gilliam isn’t a British subject, he does have a British Healthcare number. So, when Gilliam’s birth was registered by the Hospital, he was immediately put into the system, which meant healthcare would come to us, rather than us going to healthcare.

St. John and Lizzies handed off our file to another hospital, which was geographically closer to our apartment. At which point, the new hospital’s roving midwives were now responsible for us.

About a day after we returned home, Serena received a call from Roberto, our assigned midwife. And yes… you heard me correctly… his name was Roberto. Comically, when Serena first talked to him she thought he said “Roberta”… and took note of “her” rather deep voice. When Roberto arrived in our apartment for the first time it completely threw Serena off. She had complete programmed herself to expect a woman. Who would have thought otherwise?

Anyway, I never met Roberto, but Serena loved him. Smart, funny, helpful. And the whole idea of having a midwife visit us at home is so novel that we can’t criticize or complain.

Two thumbs up for house calls!

Day 626: Wacky Website of the Week – Hampster Dance

I found Hampster Dance a LONG time ago and thought it was hilarious. And back then, they only had the Hampster Dance song. I remember thinking, “this would make an awesome Cartoon Series.” Apparently, I wasn’t the only one.

http://www.hampsterdance.com/

Day 625: TV Review – The Amazing Race

REF: Day 611: Tuesday TV Review – Big Love, Season 4

A few weeks ago, my cousin/SchutzHappen addict, Pauline commented on my tirade regarding Serena’s love for reality television. Yes Pauline, we watch “The Amazing Race”… in fact, it’s one of our favorites.

This season I am pulling for Louie and Michael, the New York Police officers. They started off a little shaky, but have matured and are more focused as a team. Plus they are funny. I like funny. Some people might think they play dirty because they U-Turned Joe and Heidi… but their intention wasn’t to knock them out of the game. Louie and Michael merely wished to deflate their egos a little bit. I was actually shocked Joe and Heidi were unable to complete the task. However, wasn’t heartbroken, Joe and Heidi never appealed to me as a team, I agreed with Louie and Michael, they were overly cocky. Plus, U-Turns are part of the game… so play the game people!

I am also a huge fan of Survivor. So far the Hero v. Villains is shaping up nicely. I am really happy Colby wasn’t voted off the Heroes Tribe last week. I really liked James during his original season, but part of the fun the first time was because he didn’t know what he was doing. This time he was too cocky and frankly, he was rude. Colby has always been a classy player and ten years later he is even more classy and cool. The way he let the things James said about him roll off was awesome. Then again, it wasn’t like James was making up things, he was being truthful about Colby’s performance. Anyway, with the Heroes down to five people, it’s a whole new game for Colby.

As for the Villain’s watching Boston Rob and Russell has been awesome. I’m a big fan of Boston Rob I really want to see him prevail. Rob may be considered a Villain, but he makes very sound decisions for his tribe and for the most part, he is very fair. Russell on the other hand… oh my god… I just can’t figure this guy out. He burns peoples socks, he buries the tribes machetes… he is one of the most transparent liars in the game! Spotting a liar isn’t hard folks. Russell is a liar! But, even though I can’t stand the guy… he is shrewd and a smart strategic player.

Tyson! Why Tyson! You and Boston Rob had Russell over the fire. He would have been gone if you voted with your trip! You knew you were going to get votes… yet you let Russell play you! Why would you ever change your vote? I don’t understand. I think Russell must be a vampire. It’s the only thing that makes sense. He must be glamouring the other contestants into doing his bidding. ERG!

I’m hoping for a Survivor Mix-Up. Boston Rob and Colby need to team up. They could rock the game.

Day 624: SchutzHappens, March 2010, "Life on Mars?"

Day 623: Happy Easter!

Happy Easter everyone! I hope you have a wonderful day!

Day 622: The Birth Experience – Northside Picture Time

When I started blogging about our birth experience I had complete forgotten about this story. Serena reminded me. I guess this was my first official protective fatherly moment. When Serena reminded me, she was like, “You were pissed… don’t you remember? You went to the nurse’s station and demanded to see the head nurse?”

Slowly it all came back to me: The Northside picture guy. I think I destroyed this guy. And I don’t feel bad about it.

First, I need to put this into context. Remember my previous post about Creep-Monkey and the incessant interruptions of our sleeping time-bliss propagated by the Northside Nurses? Well… it’s safe to say we were tired… and a bit punchy. But still. This guy had no excuse for what he did and deserved the throttling he got.

After our first sleepless night and surviving our assigned and extremely rude nighttime nurse, Serena and I requested limited interruptions for our first full day in Northside’s Post Partum wing. That afternoon, after Serena and Gray finally fell asleep… and I got hungry. So I got up, closed the door behind me, and headed down to the Hospital’s McDonald franchisee. When I returned, I found the door to our room wide open and I remember thinking, “Great, another nursing visit.” When I walked in, I found a short little man holding a camera pushing on Serena’s shoulder saying, “miss, miss… you need to wake up.”

After being reminded of this incident, I remember this event exactly how it went down… I can replay the event in my head. I arrived just as this guy was successful in his mission… Serena was just lifting her head and trying to focus her eyes. I broke into the scene, “what’s going on?”

The guy flinched a bit. I surprised him. But he quickly said, “I need to take pictures of the baby.”

Serena and I looked at each other. I said, “It has to be done now? She was sleeping. You just woke her up.”

The guy was very scattered and was trying to direct Serena on how to hold the baby… but she was still out of it. Evidently, he didn’t feel the need to address my question. So I persisted.

“Wait a minute, what is this picture for? Is this something the Hospital needs? They already took a Polaroid of the baby when he was born… I don’t understand.”

The guy finally stopped what he was doing and looked at me, “No, that was for the hospital, I’m a professional photographer, I’m taking pictures of the baby for you… don’t you want to buy pictures of your baby?”

I believe this is the point where my head spun all the way around and I vomited split-pea soup on the guy. “Get the hell out.” “Excuse me?” “Get the hell out of our room. You walk in unannounced and woke my sleeping wife? For what? So you could sell me pictures of my own baby? Get the hell out of our room now. Who let you in here? Did you even knock? What give you the right to…”

This is when I started walking back down the hall towards the nurses’ station. This is also the time the guy disappeared for good. I never saw him again. And he certainly didn’t try to defend his presence to be with the nurses’ station.

Of course, the nurses were just as helpful as they were regarding food options at 11pm. “Who? I don’t know, I don’t think he works for the hospital, he’s probably a contractor or something.” What really got under my skin is the fact the nurses’ station was on our hall about three rooms away. I know they saw the guy and simply didn’t’ want to take responsibility of the situation. My favorite question from the nurses was, “Did you tell him you weren’t interested?”

Me: “Huh, now that would have been a good idea. Thank you. I guess I should have known before going to get food that some strange guy was going to enter my wife room unannounced intending to take picture of my new born child.”

At this point I put a moratorium on unannounced visitors to our room and spoke with the head nurse about my concerns. “If you want to sell me pictures, sell me pictures, schedule an appointment. But entering a room unannounced and waking up a sleeping mother is unacceptable. Keeping people out of our room isn’t my job, it’s your job.”

I know… harsh. But I didn’t pay for the room upgrade to have an open-door policy.

I can only assume random photographers slip into rooms trying to sell photographs at Northside all the time. It seems very strange. And a security risk.

Day 621: Friday Film Review – Crazy Heart

Honestly, there isn’t much I can say about Crazy Heart… except that it was my favorite movie of the year.

I know I’ve given a lot of high praise this Oscar season, so don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that “The Hurt Locker” didn’t deserve Best Picture, it certainly did, it was a better all around film… I’m just saying that “Crazy Heart” is exactly the kind of movie I like. Scratch that… exactly the kind of movie I love.

The only real travesty is the fact it wasn’t at least nominated for best picture. Especially when films like “The Blind Side,” “Up in the Air,” and especially, “The Serious Man” made it into the competition. There should have been a spot for “Crazy Heart”.

Jeff Bridges and Maggie Gyllenhaal were simply amazing. And well deserving of all the praise they have received. And folks, remember when I said Vera Farmiga would have won the Oscar for Best Supporting Actress is Mo’Nique hadn’t made “Precious” this year? Well, I spoke way too soon. Maggie blew my socks off. Mo’Nique still deserved the Supporting Actress award, BUT, that said, Maggie deserved the Leading Actress Award.

I’m confused as to why Maggie’s character is considered a supporting player. Her screen time alone should have qualified her… but far beyond that, her relevance to the overall story should have graduated the role to leading. Maggie’s LEADING Actress role in Crazy Heart was amazing. And if Crazy Heart’s producers had submitted her in the leading category, she could have taken down Sandra.

Producers play weird games when they submit actors for Oscars. Remember Timothy Hutton? He was the leading actor in “Ordinary People” who won Best Supporting Actor, not Leading Actor. At 18 years old, Ordinary People’s producers didn’t think he would be taken seriously during awards season as a Leading actor… so they demoted him to Supporting… and he won awards. While in the same movie, Mary Tyler Moore was nominated for Leading Actress for playing a supporting role. You get the idea.

Anyway… I don’t mean to get side tracked on Oscar politics.

Go see Crazy Heart! You won’t regret it. The film has a really great indie feel without being pretentious, gimmicky, falsely emotional, or overly dark… it’s a wonderfully beautiful film about redemption. And it’s just simple. Unlike my blog postings… oh how I wish I could post like “Crazy Heart”.

Day 620: Interesting News

Well… it turns out that Serena is prego again. I didn’t realize I had that much Irish in me.