Day 1544: Haircuts

When it comes to personal grooming, I have to admit… haircuts are not my favorite thing in the world.  In fact, I tend to put them off until I look like a sweaty-toothed madman.

That said, whenever you move to a new country, your next haircut becomes something of a challenge… so I was determined to get one before leaving for Eritrea.  And I wanted to get it done during one of my morning outings with Gilliam.

And guess what?

Gilliam needed a haircut, too.  And at first… he seemed totally game.

So, we started the morning with our traditional trip to Dunkin Donuts, followed by a trip to the library… and then to the salon.  However, between the library and the salon Gilliam started trying to talk me out of getting a haircut.

Normally, I would have totally caved.  I don’t like haircuts, but I needed one before I left… so Gilliam humored me… although he made it clear that he didn’t want one for himself.

Not that he had much say in the matter.

When we arrived, there were two stylists available and they set-up chairs right next to each other, however, Gilliam was not impressed.  He became even less impressed when his stylist picked him up and placed him (gently) on a buster seat.

Gilliam wanted nothing to do with him or the haircut he was offering.

Instead, Gilliam opted to sit quietly in the seat on the other side of me and watch patiently while I got my hairs cut.  Our conversation was quite entertaining for the rest of the folks in the salon.

And once I was finished and cleaned up I declared it Gilliam’s turn.  And with great trepidation, Gilliam climbed onto the buster seat and then made a declaration of his own. 

He would only get his hairs cut if he could sit on my lap rather than on the buster seat.  Which was totally fine with me… but then he also declared that he did not want to wear a cape… and he didn’t want me to wear one either.

So… there I was… with my little two and a half year old on my lap… him getting a haircut, and neither of us with any protection from the falling itchy follicles. 

Throughout the cut, Gilliam remained unimpressed, but like a big boy, he dealt with it.  And all the while, the two of us were getting covered in hair.

Now, I’ll have to admit.  I hate the itchiness that results from getting a haircut and often times I time my cuts with the ability to get home for a shower… and this cut… this time… with Gilliam… was the most itchy I had ever been! 

When it was all said and done, Gilliam was amazing.  We were both covered in hair, but we both looked good from the neck up. 

The only thing that really impressed Gill at the end of it all was the lollipop… and all I could do was monitor the time.  I had just enough to get home, drop Gill off with Serena, and dart to Grayson’s school for one last father-son lunch before heading off to Africa.

While Gilliam received a much needed bath and nap… I spent 20 itchy minutes hanging with my eldest… and it was totally worth it.

That said… the moment I got home I showered.  And that felt (almost) as good as making it to lunch with Grayson.

Day 1537: Grayson Time

Now, Gilliam wasn’t the only son of mine getting a healthy dose of daddy-time during my two weeks in Atlanta.

However, with Grayson in school most of the day I had to be a little bit more creative with our time together, especially for just the two of us. 

I’m a younger brother, so I have no idea what it is like to be an older sibling, however, I know this… big brothers, more times than not, have to share their time with their siblings.  And this is certainly true with Grayson.  Getting one on one time is few and far between. 

So, I made a point of giving Grayson his own special moments.  Simple as they may seem… they were very special.

After school one day I took Gray to play mini-golf for the first time.  We had been meaning to play for months.  We tried to find a course in Miami and Washington, DC, however, we could never seem to find one conveniently located, especially without having a car at our disposal.  So, finally, in Atlanta, we had a chance to play 18 holes.

One day Gray mentioned he had a bunch of Xbox games he didn’t want anymore and he really wanted to get a new game we could play together.  So, I told him to pull all of his games out and choose the ones he didn’t want any more… once he did, I took him to Game Stop and told him I would add $10 to how ever much Game Stop would pay him for his old games.  In the end we had enough for Lego Pirates of the Caribbean, which was the game Gray really wanted.  And then we went home and spent the rest of the afternoon playing.

Now, one of the more enjoyable things we did together, for both Grayson and me, was actually during school.  I joined him for lunch.  His school is huge and they actually have special tables outside of the noisy lunch room for families.  It was really great and we had so much fun.  And I especially enjoyed Gray’s thought on his new school:  “Dad, this school is nothing like Suriname International School”.

This made me laugh.  “Yeah… I know… your class here is almost larger than the entire student body of SIS.”

The most impressive thing about my visit was how the school handles lunch money.  Back when I was in school we had to buy lunch tickets and we were responsible for keeping them safe and not losing them.  If you did lose them… you went without lunch.  However, at Grayson’s school, parents send money directly to the teacher, who deposits it in a digital lunch account.  And after Grayson picks out his lunch and goes to the cashier, he simply types in a five-digit number into a keypad, unique to him, which automatically deducts money from his account.

I don’t know what I thought was cooler.  The accounts the lunch room used for payment or the fact that Grayson knew his lunch number without having to think about it.  Honestly, I don’t know if I could have memorized a five-digit number when I was only six and a half.

Grayson actually knew I was coming the first time I came for lunch… however; the second time I showed up was a surprise.  And when his class appeared marching down the hall single file, and he saw me standing there waiting for him outside the lunch room, Grayson lit up.  Staying in line he just smiled at me.  And when he caught up with me he gave me a hug and said, “Dad!  You didn’t tell me you were coming today!”

Me: “I know, I wasn’t sure if I was going to make it.  Gilliam and I were running some errands, but we got home in time for me to run up here and have lunch with you.”

Gray:  “Thanks Dad.”

And yet again, we enjoyed 20 minutes together at the family table.  This time I had Grayson in stitches telling him about taking Gilliam for a haircut that morning… which explained why I was covered in hair… and itchy… but I’ll save that story for my next post.

Day 1528: Donut Time

From the time Serena and the boys reached Atlanta, while I remained in Washington, DC, all Serena could talk about, with great pride, was how much I would love the house she found for them to live while I was away.  She felt it would be a suitable place that would feel like home when I visited.

However, once our shipments of household effects and permanent storage arrived in Atlanta, her voice lost its sense of pride and gave way to feelings of distant frustration.  She was a bit overwhelmed… especially having two young boys to look after while trying to unpack just about everything we own.  We didn’t merely receive the stuff we had in Suriname, which was overwhelming enough, but we also received everything we had placed in storage four years ago when we initially joined the State Department; making the unpacking process a much larger task than normal.

Although Serena appreciates my help when it comes to unpacking, she likes to place everything herself.  She likes to make her own home, which I can’t blame in the least; so most of my unpacking assistance is restricted to opening boxes and moving them into their proper locations.

So, when I finally joined my family in Atlanta, for a mere two weeks, I had a plan.  I would manage the boys so Serena would have time to do what she needed to do with the house, at least for just a few hours each day.  This was also a selfish endeavor on my part because I wanted to spend as much time as I could with my boys.  And as I mentioned in my last post, I was headed to Atlanta without anything hanging over my head… I was arriving in the proper state of mind to seize the day.

However, now that Grayson is in school… there wasn’t much to do, at least in the mornings, except help him get ready for school and walk him to the bus stop and once Gray was safely aboard and off… that left Gilliam.

Gilliam, who is now two and a half, and I seem to have a very different relationship than I do with Grayson.  And that probably has to do with birth order, their age difference, and how old they were when I left for my one-year tour in Pakistan.  Grayson was four and a half.  Gilliam was only six months old.

Growing up, it wasn’t until Grayson was about three years old when he finally zoned in on wanting daddy time and by the time I left for Pakistan, we had developed a very strong relationship.  And while I was away Grayson and I spoke, via Skype, almost every day.  And during that year we developed a very cerebral relationship.  There was no real way to ‘play’ over Skype, so during that year I think we got to know each other quite well.  But then again, he was four and a half at the time and he, kind of, understood what was going on.  I’d like to think that we’ve developed the kind of relationship where we can talk about anything.  And dang it, Grayson is a very smart cookie.  He understands a lot, feels a lot, and has very deep emotions.  One of this favorite things to ask me on Skype, even now, is “how was work today, dad?”

Gilliam, on the other hand, was only six months old.  And as he grew, he only knew of me as an idea.  “That guy on the computer screen is my dad.”  Dad… whatever that is… 

However, when I came home, two things were obvious.  1) He understood that I am his dad.  And 2) He was ready for some daddy time.

Almost immediately, Gilliam wanted to do everything with me.  Wherever I went, he wanted to come with me.  The store, to a friend’s house, you name it.  With Grayson at that age, and even a bit older, it took quite a bit of negotiating for him to agree to an adventure.  However, with Gilliam, all I have to say is “you wanna come?”  And Gilliam is says, “Let me get my shoes.”

So, when I was home this summer, it didn’t take much for me to get Gilliam out of the house, giving Serena time to organize the house.

Now, I will admit, our first morning adventure, which became our standard, was purely selfish on my part. 

I love coffee.  Love it!  I have to start my day with it.  However, Serena is allergic to caffeine, so when we left Suriname I shipped all of my coffee making paraphilia to Eritrea.  So, even though we had received a multitude of household effects in Atlanta, not one coffee making device was present.  So, on my first Monday in town, I really wanted my favorite cup of coffee… from Dunkin Donuts.

Now, as I said before, it never takes much for Gilliam to agree to an adventure, but once he found out a donut was involved he raced to the car without his shoes… and we were off.  A coffee for dad and a donut for Gilliam. 

We continued this tradition almost every day I was in town and Gilliam loved it almost as much as I did.  As soon as I saw Grayson off on the bus, Gilliam would say, “Donuts?”  Then we would kiss Serena goodbye, pile in the car, and head out for the morning. 

We would just sit together, enjoy our delicacies, talk, and we became such regulars that we were allowed into the inner circle of retired folks who started their day at Dunkin Donuts as well.  And it got to the point that Gilliam wouldn’t let me just order coffee… we both had to have our own favorite donut… which we shared.  We sat across from each other… we sat next to each other… sometimes Gilliam just wants to sit on my lap… and you know what?  It doesn’t matter.  Every configuration felt great.

The cutest thing about Gilliam and our trips stemmed from something I did on our first outing.  On the way to the Dunk that first Monday, I called my good friend Costello.  If you are avid readers of this blog, you’ll remember Costello from my saga about ‘The Chair’.  Costello is my best friend from High School and I hadn’t had the chance to see him yet and I knew he was off that morning, so I left him a message letting him know we’d be at Dunkin Donuts in case he was awake and interested.

It was pretty early, so Costello was obviously still sleeping… so I didn’t really expect to see him there; I merely wanted to touch base.  However, when I called, Gilliam, from the back seat started asking, “Who are you calling?”  And I said, “My friend Jeff.”  And Gilliam said what he always does when his questions are answered, “Oh, okay.”

When we arrived and started ordering, Gilliam asked, “Where is Jeff?”  I said, “Oh, he’s probably still sleeping, I just called to invite him… I don’t think he’ll come.”

Gilliam:  “Why?”

And then from behind us we heard a voice saying, “Wow, they’ll serve anyone around here…”

It was Jeff.  Aka, Costello.

Gilliam was almost as excited as I was.  It was almost like Gilliam knew everything Costello had gone through to deliver his stroller to us in London before he was born.

It was a great first day at Dunkin Donuts… but it was the only morning Costello was able to join us.  However, that didn’t stop my inquisitive little man.  Every morning on our way to Dunkin for our coffee and donuts he always asked about Jeff.  “Jeff coming?”  “Jeff there?” 

“No, he’s not going to be there today.”

And in Gilliam’s cute little way, strapped into his car seat, he would say, “Whyyyyyyyyy?”

“Because he can’t join us today.”

“But whyyyyyyy?”

“Well… he wants to be here, but he can’t, he has to work… but we’ll have fun right?  Just you and dad?”

“Yeah, okay.”

But that didn’t stop Gilliam from talking about Jeff while we were at Dunkin Donuts.  Whenever a large white truck pulled into the parking lot, Gilliam would say, “Dad!  Jeff’s here!”

Gilliam would always ask, “Whyyyy” when I told him it wasn’t Jeff, just a car that looked like his… but you know?  At two and a half Gilliam is a very special boy.  He understands a lot.  He knows a lot.  He absorbs a lot.  He knows good people when he meets them.  He cares… with all of his two and a half year old heart.

Our times out to Dunkin Donuts had nothing to do with Costello.  It had nothing to do with coffee or donuts… but it had everything to do with getting to know each other better… and for that… our time at Dunkin Donuts was a success.  And for that I am grateful.

Day 1425: The Theatre Is In Our Blood

Random Friend:  “Mr. JohnPaul, were you really an actor?”

Me:  “Yes.”

Grayson:  “See!  I told you!”

And with that justification, Gray always took a lot of pride from the impressed faces of his friends.

Anyway, now that Serena and the boys are back in the States for the summer, I thought it would be fun for Grayson to take a couple summer camps, one of which was an acting camp operated by the Curtain Call Youth Players, which is the program I started in and later taught for.  Grayson is a pretty pliable kid so he was totally cool with trying it out… although I could sense a little uneasiness in his voice when we talked the Sunday night before his first day.

I made a point of giving him a call Monday afternoon after Serena picked him up to see how it went and his tone was completely different.  “Dad, it was so much fun!  It wasn’t what I was expecting at all.  We are actually going to do a play.  We are doing One-Hundred and One Dalmatians!  And guess who I was picked to play?”

Me:  “A Dalmatian?”

Gray:  “No!  I’m going to play the dad!  The human dad of the dogs and puppies.  Their owner!”

He was very excited.  I was very excited.

For the rest of the week I made it a point to call Grayson after camp to see how things were going.  I had actually expected his initial excitement to waiver a bit over time, but it didn’t.  Even anything, his excitement intensified over the course of the week.  He told me about his lines, the songs and dances he was learning, the sets and props they were building, and even the cast party they were planning for after the performance that Friday.

I was really taken back.  Grayson was taking the show VERY seriously.

And by midweek he asked if I knew of other acting classes he would take in the fall, when school started.

Of course, still being in Suriname, I was unable to attend Grayson’s stage debut, but I called him soon after to get his reaction.

Me:  “How did it go buddy?”

Grayson:  “Great!”

I melted.  It wasn’t really the word he used.  “Great!”  It was how he said it.  His tone.  I knew that tone all too well.  Gray sounded like an actor who was riding high after nailing it on stage.  I had never heard Grayson speak with such excitement and passion.  “Dad, I bet you are so proud of me.  And you know what Grandma said?  What your mom said?  She said I was quite the actor like my dad.”

Melt, melt, melt.

That call will easily remain in my top ten Grayson conversations of all time.

Later that night Serena uploaded the video of the show to our Dropbox account.  I was so excited.  And what I saw made my jaw drop.  Grayson… was… amazing.  He was a machine.  Totally focused on his performance and what he was there to do.

First, his part was actually pretty darn big.  He was on stage for most of the show and had quite a few lines.  He knew every single one and said then all at the appropriate time and when speaking to Cruella he delivered his lines we great intensity.  He really was the father of all those dogs.

Second, he stayed in character.  This is probably the hardest thing for children to do; resisting the temptation of giggling or interacting with the audience.  But Grayson was just on fire.  From scene to scene if did exactly what he needed to do, often times while some of the other kids were breaking out of their characters.

Third, he totally understood the flow of the story, his blocking, and took direction well.  As soon as each scene ended Grayson would bolt to his start position for the next with the kind of speed and focus any director would dream of.  He was almost always the first kid in place and ready to go.  I think this is noteworthy, because confidence and initiative aren’t always traits you find in children’s theatre.  Most of the time young kid’s act like lemmings… mainly due to a lack of confidence and not wanting to look silly by making a mistake.  So, they tend to wait until someone else does it first, even if they know what their next move is.  But not my Grayson, he was out front and leading the charge.

It really was something to watch.  To be honest, I was one of those lemmings when I was first started acting.  To see Grayson out there nailing it was just… it was inspirational.

It was a really good week.  

Day 1038: Super Don’t Worry?

Has anyone heard of the board game “Super Don’t Worry?”… as opposed to normal “Don’t Worry”, which I assume also exists, but have never seen before.

During my R&R, the house we rented in Greece had a ton of board games… and one of the games that drew Grayson’s attention was called “Super Don’t Worry”.  All the pieces were there expect the directions.

So, because of the name, Grayson decided it was the Greek version of “Sorry!”, his favorite American board game… and completely made up similar rules on the fly even though the game board and pieces were nothing like “Sorry!”.

It was pretty darn funny… and out of curiosity, I decided to find the game in hopes of figuring out the real rules… however I can’t find anything about it online.  It’s as if the game doesn’t exist at all.

I have no really hopes of finding it, but I thought I would just throw it out there.

Day 1036: Oh, that Grayson!

Grayson just cracks me up.  He is always very interested in how my day is and I just love how he asks.

Grayson: “Dad, can I ask you a question?”

Me: “Sure buddy.”

Grayson: “Dad… Dad… I want to ask you… Dad, how was your day at work?”

Me: “It was pretty good.”

Grayson: “That’s good Dad, I’m glad you had a good day in Pakistan.”

Now, sometimes Grayson doesn’t ask me how work was, sometimes he just asks, “Dad, how was your day in Pakistan.”

And my stock answer has become: “HOT!”

Day 1030: Grayson Is a Lucky Boy, Indeed

While I was home on my R and R Grayson said the funniest thing while playing with me in the back yard.

So, we were in our backyard throwing around this gigantic Frisbee… the kind made of fabric with Styrofoam around the edges.  It’s designed to float more than it is anything else and Grayson and I were having a great time.

Now, one issue we have when playing in the back yard is the fence.  It’s a ‘Sandlot’ style fence.  Do you remember the movie ‘The Sandlot’?  Where the boys play baseball is a vacant lot next to this enormous fence… and whenever they hit a ball over the fence it is lost forever?  Well, that’s the kind of fence we have in Belgrade.

Well… Grayson and I are always careful about not getting too close to the fence when we play (although we have lost a couple of things over the edge… including a sandal… which I am still confused about…) anyway, on the day in question Grayson threw the Frisbee wild… it went high into the air and over the fence…

Grayson: “OH NO!”

Me: “Oh man!  There it goes!”

And then… it stopped.  The Frisbee stopped and just hung in the air for a second (a light wind had blow through the yard and stopped the momentum of the Frisbee… it just hung there floated on the other side of the fence.

Grayson and I held our breaths with no hope of ever seeing the Frisbee again… waiting for the wind to subside and drop the Frisbee into the pit of despair… but it didn’t it just hung in the air.  It give you an idea, Grayson and I had time to look at each other and exchange a “What in the world is going on glance” AND return our gaze to the Frisbee without it moving.

Then… just as all hope was lost, the wind didn’t die down… it picked up… and a huge gust of wind came through blowing the Frisbee straight up into the air and as it began to fall back down, it floated back over the fence, into our yard, and into my hands.

Grayson and I were just took a stood there looking at each other…  at the fence… the Frisbee… and each other again.  Then we both busted out laughing and Grayson said, “I can’t believe it!  The Frisbee came back!  I just can’t believe it!  I’m such a lucky boy!  I have a mommy, a daddy, a baby brother, and a helpful wind.  I am just so lucky!”

Day 967: Jo Bear’s Heart

Well, this is officially my forth post about my old Teddy Bear Jo:

 

1) Day 813: Take Your Teddy Bear to Work Day

2) Day 849: Have a Party with Your Bear Day

3) Day 891: The Best Christmas Present EVER!

 

I’m pretty amazed that I’ve been able to get this much mileage out of Jo Bear… being that I’m a grown man and all, but as I’ve said before, there is a very special bond between a boy and his bear.  And if anyone out there wants to pretend teddy bears are uncool… well, I would beg to differ.  Han Solo is the coolest person in the world and he had the coolest teddy wookie in the world!  So there!

 

Yes.  I am a total nerd… but I’m cool with that.

 

Anyway, as strange as it might sound, being reunited with Jo Bear this past Christmas was really awesome and I was actually planning to bring him back to Pakistan with him… just to have a friendly face in my big lonely house.  But, as it turns out, Jo Bear and I were reunited for a reason and he was unable to make the trip because he had a much nobler mission to attend to.

 

Well before I ever posted about Jo Bear on SchutzHappens, I had spoken of him as legend when Grayson asked me if I ever had a teddy bear when I was a little boy.  And Jo Bear must have made an impression because Grayson has two teddy bears named Jo-Jo and Jo-Gee, in honor of my, then, lost Jo Bear.

 

On Christmas morning Grayson was super excited for me to open Jo Bear and after the joyous reunion Grayson took to sleeping with Jo Bear and named him daddy of all his stuffed animals. 

 

Now, I never openly declared ownership of Jo Bear and I never told Grayson that the idea of taking Jo Bear with me to Pakistan was floating around in my head… mainly because I never had too.  Even though Gray was getting pretty attached, he would always recognize Jo Bear as mine and not his… and a couple times in conversation Gray would refer to ‘when Daddy and Jo Bear go back to Pakistan”… he just knew.  Jo Bear is dads, so it makes sense that he goes with Dad.

 

Well, when it came time to pack may bags in anticipation of my trip back I found Jo Bear in Grayson’s bed... and I left him there.

 

While I packed, Grayson came to visit and we talked for a while, which it was really nice and at some point Grayson left to get something from his room… then he shouted, “DAD!”  And I heard his little footsteps running back into my room, “Dad!  You almost forget Jo Bear!”

 

Me: “Oh thank Godness!  Thank you buddy!”

 

Gray: “Silly dad, you can’t leave Jo behind, he’s your bear!”

 

Me: “I know, right?  Do you think he’s going to like Pakistan?”

 

Gray: “Yeah… I think he’ll like it a lot because you’re going to be there and you are friends.”

 

I put Jo Bear aside, not in my luggage… I still hadn’t decided what I was going to do with him… but then my mind was made up for me…

 

Gray:  “Dad?  Can I ask you a question?”

 

Me:  “Sure buddy.”

 

Grayson:  “I know that Jo Bear is really excited to go to Pakistan because he loves you and hasn’t seen you for a long time, but you know?  Jo Bear loves me a lot too because I’m your son.”

 

Me:  “I know, Jo Bear and I have known each other for a really long time and he was so excited when he came back and found out I had two amazing boys for him to play with.  He told me that.”

 

Gray:  “I know… dad?”

 

Me:  “Yeah buddy?”

 

Gray:  “Dad, I think I’m going to be really lonely while you and Jo Bear are in Pakistan together.  I’m going to miss you both a lot.”

 

I stopped what I was doing and picked Gray up onto my lap.  “Hey man… I’m going to miss you too.  A lot!  But you know what?”

 

Gray:  “What?”

 

Me:  “Well, last night I was talking to Jo Bear and he said he really liked you… a lot.”

 

Gray:  “I like Jo Bear a lot too.”

 

Me:  “Well, Jo Bear told me if you wanted, he’d like to stay here and keep you company while I’m away.”

 

Gray:  “Really?”

 

Me:  “Yeah, would you like that?  If Jo Bear stayed here with you?”

 

Gray:  “Yes, I would like that a lot.  Then I won’t be so lonely while you are away.  When I miss you I can just hug Jo Bear.”

 

Me:  “Yeah, you can totally hug Jo Bear when you miss me… and you know what?”

 

Gray:  “What?”

 

Me:  “You know how Jo Bear and I have known each other for a REALLY long time, right?”

 

Gray:  “Yes, he was your bear when you were little.”

 

Me:  “Yeah, he was my bear and when I was little I used to hug Jo Bear all the time.  And you know what happens when a little boy hugs his bear and loves his bear with all of his heart?”

 

Gray:  “What?”

 

Me:  “Well, when a little boy REALLY loves his bear with all of his heart something magical happens… part of that love floats out of the little boy’s heart and into the bear, where that love grows into a real heart for the bear.”

 

Gray:  “Like the Velveteen Rabbit?”

 

Me:  “Kinda, except the Velveteen Rabbit became completely real and could hop around the forest… but for Jo Bear, it’s only his heart that is real… he might not be able to hug back, but his love is real because Jo Bear and I share a heart.”

 

Grayson gave Jo Bear a big hug, laughed, and looked at me, “I’m hugging you!”

 

True story… one I had actually forgotten for a while.  But, I remembered it this week while talking to Grayson on Skype.

 

For the last month, since right around his 5^th birthday, Grayson has become more and more melancholy regarding my absence.  Generally, for the past eight months or so, Grayson only actively participated in about two of my seven (plus) Skype calls per week, at which time I was lucky to get 10 minutes of his attention.  Which is totally understandable… he’s really young.

 

But over the last month, he’s been THE active participant every day.  Even if he has a friend over he drops everything to come talk to me.  When his friends aren’t around he wants to talk while working on a puzzle or legos.  He has become partial to having the computer all to himself, away from Serena and Gilliam, so we can talk uninterrupted and our conversations are now lasting between 30 minutes to an hour. 

 

He has started initiating the ‘Squeeze’ and the ‘Computer Hug’, two special “I love you” signs I made up for us over Skype.  I had always initiated and we had stopped doing them for quite some time, but Grayson started using them again out of nowhere and he uses them a lot, having now invented the ‘Double Squeeze’ and the ‘Super Computer Hug’.

  

He has even started asking Serena to initiating calls at odd times, like when I’m still at work, and from what Serena says, he has gotten pretty mad if he can’t talk to me.  I’ve told her to let him call my cell phone, I’m working 12 hour days… I would love a break to talk to my son, who wouldn’t?

 

AND, Serena told me his prayers have started to become more aware of his feeling, “Dear God, please help me be happy and have fun with my friends even though daddy isn’t here…”  Yeah, that one cuts deep. 

 

Serena says not to worry, “He’s still the same happy, fun loving negotiator he’s always been… he’s just hyper aware and really missing his dad… He’s not depressed; he’s just hit that ‘enough is enough’ wall, and is ready for this year to be over.”   

 

I tend to agree… I LOVE the fact that Grayson is expressing himself so well.  I hope this is a level of communication we’re able to maintain for the years to come.

 

But, as for now, I’ve only got one more month before my next R&R and after that, only 10 more weeks.

We can do it buddy!  We’re almost done! 

(Picture: Me and Gray working on a puzzle)

Day 963: Grayson and the Oscars

 I know!  I promised I was done with my Oscar coverage, but I have to share and brag on my son Grayson, because he enjoyed his FIRST Oscars!  And it’s been really cute listening to him talk about it.

Honestly folks, distance doesn’t really get in the way of father/son bonding at all.  We Skype everyday and if you think my blogging about the Oscars was on the excessive side, just imagine my daily conversations with Serena… and as my fellow parents out there know, kids are sponges.  So, it was no big surprise when Grayson said, “Hey, dad?  Can I ask you a question?”

Seriously, this is how Grayson starts every conversation with me… I’m not sure why or when he started doing this, but he always does.  “Hey, dad?  Can I tell you something?”  “Hey, dad?  Can I ask you a question?”   We could be the only two people involved in an epic 30 minute non-stop conversation, but when a new subject hits him, he’ll always transition by asking permission.  

Anyway, on the day in question he wanted to ask me a question:

Grayson: “What are the Oscars?”

At which point, the clouds parted, the sun beamed down, and a choir of angels began singing.  And as I wiped the tears from my eyes, I said, “Grayson?  How much time do you have?”

Via Skype, Serena and I gave him a rough explanation and of course, since it was something daddy really liked, Grayson was really interested in hearing more about it and he kept asking very thoughtful questions… questions that were pretty hard to answer… self explanatory if he had actually seen an Oscar broadcast, but hard to describe to a person who had no point of reference.

Finally, Serena said, “You know what, Grayson?  AFN is going to show it again at five o’clock today.  I was thinking about watching it, would you want to watch it with me?”

Grayson: “Sure!”

Honestly, I didn’t think much of it.  The Oscars are a big show for a five year old and as an Oscar obsessed father, I was just super excited he showed some interest… I had very little expectation of him actually watching it, so I never bothered to follow up on the subject.

Imagine my surprise, a few days later while Skyping, when Grayson said, “Hey, dad?  Can I tell you something?”

Me: “What is it buddy?”

Grayson: “I watched the Oscars and it was pretty good.”

Double take.

Me: “You watched the Oscars?”

Grayson: “Yeah… I like it.”

Serena:  “He really did… almost the whole thing.”

I was astonished.  According to Serena, Grayson intently watched the first two hours of the broadcast… then got a little bored and worked on some of his craft projects while half watching/listening to the rest.  Way more than I ever expected.

Anyway, Grayson told me all about it.  He really enjoyed the songs, especially the ones from ‘Toy Story 3’ and ‘Tangled’… and he was really excited about ‘Toy Story 3’ winning best Animated Movie… although he was a little torn because he was also sad that ‘How to Train Your Dragon’ lost.

And Grayson even brought up our poor parenting skills… it crossed my mind to warn Serena about the ‘Best Makeup’ category… the broadcast featured the transformation scene from ‘The Wolfman’, but I really didn’t think they would be watching it, so I reach out to her.  I know!  I should know better.  I should have warned them.

Anyway, Grayson was very a matter of fact, “Yeah dad… that one was pretty scary, like when mom showed me Michael Jackson in that scary video on the computer.”  Yes, Serena inadvertently let Gray see the Thriller video about a year ago.  As I said, we’re bad parents.  Thank goodness Grayson is a pretty tough kid, “But it’s not real dad.  It’s just an actor wearing makeup… but it was still pretty scary.”

And you know what?  It was pretty scary… I feel horrible… however, having a five year old who understands the concept of actors playing make believe is AWESOME!

Now, the thing that tickled me the most was listening to Grayson talk about Helena Bonham Carter.  That’s right… Helena Bonham FREAKIN’ Carter!

A long time ago I shared a story about Grayson recognizing Julie Andrews while watching ‘The Sound of Music’… “Hey!  It’s Marry Poppins!”  Which I thought was awesome… it was the first time he made that kind of connection and started understanding the concept of an actor.

Anyway, Grayson recently saw Tim Burton’s “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory” at a friend’s house and it’s currently his favorite movie… go figure.  And while watching the Oscars he got really excited when he saw Charlie’s mom (Helena Bonham Carter) in the audience. 

In addition, he got really excited when he saw clips from ‘Alice in Wonderland’, where he not only recognized Helena, but also Willy Wonka as the Mad Hatter (Johnny Depp).  And, by the time we skyped, Grayson was throwing around their real names like he was his old man… although he was super cute about it… “Dad, I saw Helena Bo… Bo… mom, what’s her name again?”

Serena: “Helena Bonham Carter.”

Grayson: “That right, I saw Helena Bonham Carter… I like her; she is a very good actress.  I also like… umm… mom, what’s his name?”

Serena: “Who?”

Grayson: “The guy… the one who always wears the big hats.”

Me: “Johnny Depp?”

Grayson: “Mom, is that his name?”

Serena: “Yes.”

Grayson: “Yeah, Johnny Depp… he’s good too.  I would like to see more movies they are in.  Can I see ‘Alice in Wonderland’?

Too cute, right?  Well, just wait… it gets cuter… at least to me.  And Helena’s heart would probably melt if she ever stumbled across SchutzHappens and read the words my little five year-old said about her:

As our conversation continued Serena asked, “So, what was Helena nominated for?”  (Serena never keeps up the Oscars… why would she?  She’s married to me!)

Anyway, I never got a chance to answer.  Grayson, that little bugger beat me to the punch, “The King’s Speech mom, she was in The King’s Speech… but she didn’t win though.  I was pretty sad for her, it would have been really nice if she had won… but she didn’t win, right dad?”

Me: (Absolutely beaming!)  “That’s right buddy… but you know what?”

Grayson:  “What?”

Me: “If you liked Helena in ‘Charlie and the Chocolate Factory’… you’re going to love her in ‘Harry Potter’.” 

Grayson’s face was priceless.  It was a mix between excitement and torture.  He’s seen the first two Potter movies and he’s aware of all eight… however, he also knows that I’m not going to let him watch the third movie until he’s six.

I know… I’m a bad parent.  ;)