Day 652: London - Ummm… a Catholic Mass?

Before I joined the rest of the family in London Serena was a woman on a mission. She wanted to find a church close by for us to go to Christmas service. She was very excited to find this beautiful small Catholic Church around the corner. The parish itself had existed since the 1200’s and its current building was built in 1882. The church is beautiful… and if Serena says she found a Catholic Church, I would tend to believe her… not that she’s Catholic or should be able to recognize the subtle nuances that sets Catholicism apart from other denominations like… say… Anglican. After all, we were in England, right?

Now, being born and raised in to the Catholic faith, my parents are products of Catholic schools… and my mom was in a convent for a while… almost becoming a Nun… but Ladies and Gentlemen… it took me almost a full hour to figure out that I wasn’t in a Catholic Church.

I had always heard that the Anglican (Church of England) and the Catholic Church were almost identical… and I’m here to tell you… they ARE almost identical. Literally… I know there is some doctrinal difference, but to this common church goer, the only difference seems be an administrative difference… the recognition of the Pope.

However, there are some other small service differences… like only one reading before the gospel, no crucifies only crosses, and the invitation of all baptized and/or confirmed individuals (of any denomination) in attendance to receive communion. Other than these three things… the service was identical to the Catholic Mass….

I know, I know… to a Catholic, these are pretty major difference… however I have a tendency to believe my wife when she tells me something… so I wasn’t looking for these differences… until they all came together in my head all at once.

In fact, until I spotted the Church of England patch on the shoulder of one of the ushers, I thought I was attending a very tradition Catholic Mass. The priest kept his back to the congregation during the preparation of the Eucharist… and to receive you had to go to the altar and knee along a railing where the priest presented the bread and wine. It was like going to the old masses my parents would talk about… only it wasn’t.

My bad!

Day 651: London and Snow

Seriously, I haven’t quite figured out the deal with snow in London. It’s was sheer pandemonium. It’s like they’ve never seen the stuff before. I don’t get it. It’s as if London is in the Deep South. Granted, London winters are known for its cold miserable rain more than snow… but I would figure at 51 degrees north latitude, roughly the same latitude as Calgary, Canada, London wouldn’t behave like a “southerner”. Quite frankly, the whole city seemed to shut down. People raid the supermarkets and stayed home.

The day my best friend Jeff was flying in to visit us there. His plane which was scheduled to land at Gatwick Airport was diverted to Manchester due to snow fall in London. Honestly folks… the snow fall was mild.

BTW: There is a lot more to the “Jeff Manchester” story. Stay tuned.

Day 649: London Movie Review - Harold and Kumar Get the Munchies

Well, I was flipping through the channels again and I came across something very odd: “Harold and Kumar Get the Munchies”. My first thought was, “Great, just what the world needs, yet another sequel to overly sophomoric, lewd and drug themed misadventure of Harold and Kumar.” But, sophomoric drug humor aside, don’t be too judgmental, Harold and Kumar launched the careers of two relatively no-name actors and revitalized one child-star legend:

· John Cho is a former High School English teacher turned actor who has taken over the role of Hikaru Sulu in Star Trek and is currently in the television Drama “Flash Forward”.

· Kal Penn has a sociology degree from UCLA, went on to play Dr. Lawrence Kutner on “House”, and is currently Associate Director of the White House Office of Public Engagement. Plus, Kal is a strict Hindu… he doesn’t drink, smoke, or eat meat. While making the Harold and Kumar movies, he did a remarkable thing… he acted.

· Neil Patrick Harris… well this is the performance that got him the role on “How I Met Your Mother”… Neil plays a drug sniffing/womanizing fictional parody of himself. In a word: his performance is Legend… wait for it… -dary.

Okay, yes, sure, I admit it… I’ve seen both movies, “Harold and Kumar Got to White Castle” and “Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay”. “White Castle” was pretty funny, but “Guantanamo Bay” was skippable (except Neil’s camero… that’s worth seeing).

Anyway, I found it disgustingly unnecessary to see there was a 3^rd movie: “Harold and Kumar Get the Munchies.” Now, you, my loyal reads may have figured it out… it only took me a minute or two, myself… but “… Get the Munchies” is the alternative, overseas, title for “… Go To White Castle.”

And just as quickly as the light of recognition began to dawn I began to feel a bit dirty… and dejected… and, quite frankly, discriminated against. I’m from Georgia, folks! We don’t have White Castle in Georgia. In fact, White Castle only exists in thirteen US States. Which means New Line Cinema found it perfectly acceptable to market the title “Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle” in a United States, were 74% of the county, geographically, does not have access to a White Castle, yet, for some reason found it necessary to change the title for an overseas market.

“… Get the Munchies”? Why not release the film in the Deep South under the title “Harold and Kumar Get the Hankerin’ for Some Vittles”? No, seriously, the entire point of the movie isn’t for Harold and Kumar to quell their appetite with munchies… it’s to quell their appetite with White Castle burgers.

Seriously. To change the title of a film that is already seeping in such regional tradition is unnecessary. I don’t know… maybe it’s me… maybe I am over thinking it… which I am known to do... but in the spirit of New Line Cinema, from now on, I will be referring to the following films by their alternative titles:

Moulin Rouge: “Gentlemen’s Club”

Letter from Iwo Jima: “The Good Clint Eastwood War Movie”

Seven Years in Tibet: “That Brad Pitt Movie”

Australia: “Gentlemen’s Club 2”

In Bruges: “Sightseeing with a Midget before Ralph Fiennes Tries to Kill Us”

Anyway, you get the point…

In other news, I regret to inform you that there really is a 3^rd Harold and Kumar movie on its way next year… but I am sure this one will be a bit more wholesome… after all… it’s going to be a Christmas movie!

Day 646: London – British Children’s Shows

One of the most peculiar things I noticed about life in London, as an American, was children’s television programming. For the most part, the Brit’s air the same shows PBS and Nick Jr air in the States… although; they are all redubbed with British accents. At first Serena and I found this odd, however we quickly accepted this change. You know? It’s important for children to hear voices that sound like their own. Right? After all, most children’s shows are made in the States… or Canada. You know what I’m talking “aboot”.

Although… I don’t believe we redub shows in the States. If I remember correctly, Peppa Pig, Charlie and Lola, and the Upside Down Show are NOT redubbed for American Audiences.

Anyway, for the most part the redubbing was okay. However, there were two shows in particular that we found… how should I say? Umm… we found them annoying and strange.

As you can imagine, animated shows would lend themselves easily to redubbing. Shows like “Super Why?” were perfectly normal once you got used to the different voices and accents. But, this redubbing completely ruined one of our household favorites: “The Backyardigans”. Why? The singing was HORRIBLE!

In the States, the focus of The Backyardigan’s is to promote imaginative play while also encouraging the performance arts through song and dance. And I have to admit, the stories and music featured on you average episode of Backyardigan’s is quite good. The music is very catchy and I catch myself singing their songs to myself from time to time.

But, then again, in the State’s they use professional singers to record the songs. However, in the UK, they don’t. The British version is so utterly and completely painful, singing wise, that I can stop pummeling myself in the head with the most accessible blunt object. Seriously folks… vocally, it’s like watching a second grade choral recital. Production value people! Production value!

Day 645: London – Poor Hygiene is Bad for Business

Strange observations seemed to be the cornerstone of my time in London. But this one really tickled me. It was an ad campaign encouraging business owners to adhere to national hygiene regulations. The campaign was titled “Good Business”.

Now, when I first saw this poster I thought the ad campaign was incredibly bold… at least from an American perspective. I repeatedly saw the same poster featuring the dim interior of an Indian Restaurant and the restaurants bewildered looking manager. The caption? “Poor Hygiene is Bad for Business.” Follow the link below to see it for yourself.

http://www.food.gov.uk/multimedia/pdfs/publication/posterindianresturant.pdf

Could you imagine this kind of awareness campaign going on in the United States? What do you think the Indian-American population would do in the States? Crazy.

I was so taken back by the poster that I jotted down the website to take a closer look. As it turns out, this poster was one of five in circulation. Also included were Gastro Bars, Chinese restaurants, Sandwich bars, and Fish and Chips shops. See below:

http://www.food.gov.uk/multimedia/pdfs/publication/postergastro.pdf

http://www.food.gov.uk/multimedia/pdfs/publication/posterchineserestaurant.pdf

http://www.food.gov.uk/multimedia/pdfs/publication/postersandwichbar.pdf

http://www.food.gov.uk/multimedia/pdfs/publication/posterchipshop.pdf

So, in the end, I guess there was a certain amount of diversity in the campaign, however, I only noticed the Indian poster in my neighborhood.

Hmmm… what five types of restaurants would you opt to throw under the bus? That’s my question of the day!

Day 641: London Series - Hallmark Stores

Riddle me this. It’s been a while since I’ve been in a Hallmark store in the States. Have they turned to the dark side? Have they become uber-trendy-disgust-o-piles? The reason I ask is this:

While in London, I took Grayson to a Hallmark store to pick out a Valentine ’s Day card for Serena… and I couldn’t help but feel a little dirty. The store didn’t feel like Hallmark… it felt like had walked into a “Spenser’s Gifts”. You know the store I am talking about. The trashy mall gift store? The Hallmark store in London was pretty much a Spenser’s that has a greeting card section. It was really strange.

In my mind, Hallmark is the kind of store you can take your grandma to… has it really turned into a store dedicated to gag gifts for immature prepubescent boys?

Thank about it… get back to me.

Day 638: London – Christmas Pantomimes

It seems that children’s theatres called pantomimes are all the rage over the holidays in London… Why they are called Pantomimes, I have no idea… because the actors talk… so, it’s not really a pantomime. Anyway, these, so called, pantomimes are very popular with families and many theatres shut down their normal production runs to mount a Christmas pantomime during the Christmas Holidays. In fact, these shows are so well received that theatre are able to attract celebrities to appear in them.

While we were in town, Pamela Anderson was featured playing the Genie in a Christmas Pantomime production of “Aladdin”. I know, right! Nothing sounds more like Christmas than Pamela Anderson handing out wishes to an impoverished ne’er-do-well!

Although I was unable to attend one of these “pantomimes” myself… most had closed around the time I arrived in London, it has left me with a very perplexing question… are Christmas Pantomimes British Theatre’s answer to Reality Television?

Hmmmm…

Day 634: London Series – BBC Documentaries

One evening, after the rest of the family went to sleep I found myself channel surfing. I came across a very odd documentary airing on the BBC, titled, “The Influence of Latin Music in American Culture”. The documentary itself was pretty interesting… however; I thought it was very strange subject to watch on the BBC.

This is like PBS airing a special on the influence of French culinary techniques in British cuisine. Interesting sure… but a tad out of place.

Day 631: London Series – Airlines of Questionable National Origin

Now that the epically long Birth Experience Series is over it’s time to move onto other topics, like our non-birth related misadventures in London. I’ve been hearing from various folks that I haven’t given enough attention to that part of our stay… so now, I guess, is as good of a time as ever to talk about London… which was a very interesting and fun city to live in, even if it was for only two months.

Now, many of you, who read this blog religiously, know that I have an eye for the strange and an equally “off” sense of humor… so to begin this new London Series I would like to tell you about an Airline of Questionable National Origin.

Every day on my way to work I would pass the London office of this Airline. Every day, I would see an attendant stationed at each of their five or six computerized kiosks ready to assist customers. Every day, I never saw customers… yet they were always fully staffed. They must have been keeping up appearances.

Anyway, my confusion over their bizarre staffing patterns hit home one evening when I was walking home. You see, the Airline’s kiosks are situated perpendicular to the street, so when I walked to work, I saw the kiosks from the customers perspective… however, when I walked home, I saw these kiosks from the employee’s perspective. I never really took notice of the employee perspective until about halfway into my stay in London. Most nights I would glance over to verify their complete lack of customers… but on one faithful night, I glanced over and saw what was on the closest computer screen. I stopped… and then I look down the row of kiosks… and they were all doing the exact same thing… all of the employees of this Airline of Questionable National Origin were playing Solitar.

Day 561: The Best British Television Show EVER!

Day 561: The Best British Television Show EVER!

The other night, after looking around and realizing I was the only one in the family still awake… I only knew two things: I was tired… but I was also hungry. So, I opted to make a quick bedtime snack and of course, as I munched away I wanted watch a show. But, I wasn’t really in the mood to commit myself to a 30 minute show so I opted out of streaming something from my Netflix backlog… instead I decided to channel surf, which is something I almost never do, at least since I bought my first Tivo 5 years ago. Anyway… I can never find anything worth watching when I channel surf, so there was no fear of being sucked in… or so I thought.

What I found was a little show called “We Need Answers”. At first, it was so low budget and bizarre that it was like watching train wreck… three random hosts were introduces… followed by two celebrity contestants… train wreck… or so I thought.

When round one (“Questions and Answers”) began, I found myself laughing… then the second round, (“Him or Her”) had me in stitches… then round three (a ridiculous physical challenge) and round four (the frantic “quickfire round”) were sheer comic genius!!! The subtle brilliance of the humor amazing me and I was hooked.

But, then, at the end of the show, when the hosts made the losing celebrity clatter off the stage wearing the “red clogs of defeat” and gave the winning celebrity a plate and pate (that’s right, meat pate) dawning the “We Need Answers” Logo… I knew I was witnessing one of the greatest tv shows of all time…

Just take a look!

Classic Host disagreement within the show:

Well, don’t take my word for it… here is a clip of some of their greatest moments of 2009.

Day 557: Look Mom! I'm a Dessert Eater!

As many of you know. I am very picky about desserts. I pretty much grew up without a birthday cake… this was my own personal decision… not the result of evil parents. The biggest offender to my picky pallet is icing. I can’t stand the stuff. Pudding? It’s disgusting! Custard? Same thing! What in the world is my problem? I have no idea. I have issues. Texture issues.

I am sure kids hated coming to my birthday parties… because I much preferred cinnamon raise cake or cookie cakes over more traditional fare.

But, apparently my pallet has been wacky my entire life. At one birthday growing up I remember wanting my favorite ice cream: Breyers Mint Chocolate Chip. I remember all of the kids in attendance asking me where the chocolate or vanilla ice cream was… “Chocalate or vanilla? But we have the best ice cream in the world right here!” Needless to say… about a gallon of ice cream went to waste.

BTW: did I mention the fact that I loathe vanilla? I don’t know why… but vanilla ice cream is disgusting.

Anyway, my former and most beloved boss, Nelah, set it upon herself to find a dessert I would eat. For the birthdays of her staff she would always bring in their favorite dessert to share with the masses. With me… it proved to be a rather difficult endeavor. First, she had to figure out the things I actually like. Mint Chip Ice Cream (we did that one year)… Pecan Pie (we did that another year)… but she was always frustrated by my lack luster reactions: not cramming my face into it like Randy in The Christmas Story’s impression of a Little Piggy. I always appreciated Nelah’s efforts… but as I do anyone who tries to surprise me with a dessert… I disappoint them. I’ve a terrible person.

That is until now… Apparently, I’m British… or at least my dessert pallet is. I just can’t get enough of Minced Pies and Christmas Pudding! They are amazing! And they are most definitely cram worthy!

Day 553: A “British” Decade in Review

While celebrating New Year’s Eve in London I witnessed something extremely entertaining. BBC 1 presented a fifteen minute decade in review… yet, they couldn’t seem to find enough news worthy events to fill the time…. Sure, they included notable British happenings like Beckham’s World Cup Qualifying goal, Tony Blair’s retirement, The Queens turning 50, Prince Charles’ Remarriage, and London’s winning bid for the 2012 Olympic Games.

As well as notable American moments like the election of George W. and the hanging chads, 911, The Iraq War, and the election of Obama.

And even a couple other international events like the death of Pope John Paul II and the Tsunami.

But… they filled out the various years with some very odd choices for “note worthy happenings”, like the winner of the first “Strictly Come Dancing”, the winner of the first “I’m a Celebrity, Get Me out of Here”, and there was even a nod to the proclaimed “worst” dancer to ever compete on “Strictly Come Dancing”

Can you imagine a decade recap including Richard Hatch and the first winners of the Amazing Race. Sure… the race is amazing… but is it decade in review worthy?

Now, the inclusion on Ricky Gervais and “The Office” winning the Golden Globe was an interesting choice. At first it seemed weird… but after I let it percolate it made sense. “The Office” was the first British Series to win a major American award, I believe, so I can understand why it could be considered a milestone for the British decade.

But, in total contrast. I still can’t figure out why they included the Jamaican who broke the 50 Meter world record as the World’s Fastest Man back in 2008. They actually showed the entire race… but why? Because he has a British accent? I’m confused. He won the race representing Jamaica… not the Untied Kingdom.

Anyway, happy new year everyone!