Day 588: Olympic Coverage – Sliding Sports

So, I’ve been sledding in the Alps. I don’t mean to brag… but it’s something that I have done… and it’s really run… and it’s pretty difficult. If traditional slope sledding was in the Olympics, it would be extremely impressive. But, instead… we have the trifecta of boring: Bobsled, Luge, and Skeleton. Now, I’m not saying these sports aren’t dangerous. As we all know, sliding sports are very dangerous… but so is Russian Rolette and that isn’t an Olympic Sport. I know, it’s a brutal comparison and I thought about omitting it… but it articulates my opinion in the matter beautifully. These games don’t seem to need a lot of skill to play and the players have very little control over the outcome. They just slide down a tube of ice and hope they go really fast. I’m just saying sliding sports, as a whole, seem so be less about skill and more about overcoming fear, not unlike skydiving and bungee jumping.

For this reason I would expect to see more Curlers opting for the more lucrative sliding sports… its basic physics, right? The more mass you have… the faster you’ll slide down hill… covered in a sheet of ice. After all… remember the American team as a tendency to recruit football players to fill out their four man bobsled team… why? Because they are skilled bobsledders? Or because they can run fast for a quick start and have a lot of mass to aid in getting a faster time? Oh wait… maybe they are skilled bobsledders after all.

Street luge is where it’s at ladies and gentlemen. Head to head races down streets where they cannot utilize rounded corners to help in banking turns.

Here is an idea… let’s turn the luge into a fear factor event. Participates have to correct flags on their way down the track. The racer with the most flags and fastest time wins!

Day 587: Olympic Coverage – Cross-Country Skiing

Seriously folks, I am deeply concerned for Cross-Country Skiing as a whole. While watching the very treacherous 2x15 Kilometer (Standard and Freestyle) I was inundated by an overly dramatic announcer saying things like, “This event is suicidal” or “Can you believe it?” It was all very dramatic.

Now, before I continue, I must admit, that I firmly believe Cross-Country Skiers are the most impressive over all athletes in the Winter Olympics. They are incredible… but apparently, they are also incredibly dim. Eight people did not finish this race. Three of whom were internationally ranked and were considered to be medal contenders. And the three of them actually led the race for a while… but alas… they could not keep up their own pace. Their pace was so unrealistic that they dropped out of the race! Does anyone else find this concerning? Olympic athletes not knowing how to pace themselves? I don’t know about you guys, but if I’m going to enter an event in the Olympics, I’m going to make sure I’ve done it before from beginning to end. Shouldn’t a racer of this level know their limits in order to complete a race successfully?

Incidentally, all 88 competitors competing in the Men’s 20 Kilometer Biathlon completed their race. Apparently, the excitement of firing a gun is enough for some athletes to push through the pain.

Anyway, I kind of wish the American’s were more competitive in Cross-Country Skiing… but you know how it is… why ski when you can drive? When will NASCAR we part of the Olympics?

Day 586: Olympic Coverage - Curling

I think it’s pretty obvious that I champion the rights of pregnant women… but I am a little perplexed by Kristie Moore, the Canadian Curler, who is competing in Vancouver five and a half month pregnant. Now, I am definitely not questioning Kristie’s right to participate while pregnant in the games… but I can’t help but question Curling’s validity of an Olympic sport when its participants can be five and a half month pregnant and still be considered to be in Olympic level physical condition.

Coupled with this, has anyone noticed what many of the non-prego female curlers have been wearing on the ice? It’s pretty hard not to notice because they are wearing black mini-skirts. Seriously, in 1988, when curling first made its Olympic debut in Calgary I thought it was pretty boring… but now? It definitely has my attention… I don’t know what the object of the game is, but apparently inappropriately dressed women are required to roll around on the ice. How this sport hasn’t taken off in the States I will never know.

Now, Curling freely admits that it is not a sport of intense physical conditioning… it is more of a strategic sport of skill and accuracy… like bowling, shuffleboard, bocce ball, horseshoes and lawn darts… incidentally, none of which are Olympic Sports… but maybe they should be. Depending, of course, on the average hemline of the athletes uniforms.

Day 585: Olympic Coverage, Part 2

So, this is my first Olympic viewing experience outside of the United States… and it’s been… well… educational to say the very least.

The first lesson is this: Europeans enjoy different sports than American’s. Actually, scratch that, most of the world enjoy different sports than American’s. But this shouldn’t be a big surprise, right? After all, I’m sure we all know America’s national sport, Baseball, only ranks 7th in worldwide sports viewership, with about 500 million fans. Or maybe you don’t know. What in the world could be more popular than Baseball? Well, I will tell you:

1. Futbal/Soccer, there is no secret that American’s are way behind the 8-ball when it comes to accepting soccer as a legitimate sport. But, with an estimated 3.3 – 3.5 billion fans worldwide, we’re not just behind the 8-ball, but completely out of touch with reality.

2. Cricket, with an estimated 2 – 3 billion fans worldwide, I would assume I could find one person to explain the rules of this sport to me… but alas… I must run in the wrong circles.

3. Field hockey, no… not Ice Hockey… FIELD Hockey rakes 3rd with 2 – 2.2 billion fans worldwide.

4. Tennis, with 1 billion fans.

5. Volleyball, with 900 million fans.

6. Table tennis (ping pong), also with around 900 million fans.

That right folks, table tennis, the Olympic sport that prompts every American to ask the question, “but why?” is more popular than Baseball.

So, that being said, it shouldn’t surprise you that I’ve seen more Ski Jumping this year than Figure Skating.

In fact, Figure Skating is only aired live here, which is around two or three in the morning London time… yet Ski Jumping, Biathlon, and Cross Country Skiing isn’t just aired live, but also repeated during the day… in it’s entirety. This includes all qualification rounds and final rounds.

I’ve seen entire qualification rounds of ski jumping multiple times. I watched the entire 2x15 Kilometer Men’s Cross Country Skiing Pursuit competition without interruption… yet, I’ve only seen about two complete Figure Skating performances. The afternoon after the Figure Skating Pair’s medals were awarded the 24 hours coverage we’ve been “enjoying” in London dedicated a thirty minute block to Figure Skating… as you can imagine, 30 minutes was really only enough time to show the three medal winning couples… nothing else. It was sad.

I want my NBC.

But there is a silver lining. I plan on joining a Ski Jumping fantasy league next year… it’s going to be sweet!

Day 584: Olympic Coverage, Part 1

Olympic seriesSliding sports - tubing & frozen turkeyCoverageSki jumping fantasy leagueWhy Americans are not good at cross county skingBetter cross country skingAre skirts really the best curling uniform?Cross country sking - people dropping outPregnant curlingNow, I’ve been giving NBC a lot of grief over the years. Like an Aztec priest, I’ve been predicting their slow and steady decline… due mainly to three practices the network can’t seem to get away from:

· Cancelling excellent shows prematurely, like ‘Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip’ and the ‘Black Donnleys’
· Championing horrible shows for unknown reasons, like ‘Joey’
· Renewing tired shows that have already run its course… multiple times… like ‘ER’ and ‘Law and Order’

And of course, NBC has shown their complete and total ineptitude with the Jay Leno & Conan O’Brien debacle… a subject I plan to cover in this blog soon.

But for now, I must put my distrust and misgivings for NBC aside and thank them from the bottom of my heart. And for my fellow American’s, you should thank them as well.

Thank you NBC for sheltering us from the horrific boredom that is the Winter Olympics.

Day 583: The Birth Experience, Part 8: St. John & Lizzies Doctor Visit

A very notable difference about our birth experience in Atlanta and London is the selection process of doctors. At least in regards to the order in which things are done. In Atlanta, we chose a practice of midwives that matched birthing philosophy, YET, the midwives were practicing at a hospital that didn’t match our philosophy… although we were ultimately successful in our mission, these philosophical difference turned out to be rather counterproductive, which will become more apparent as The Birth Experience continues.

However, in London, we simply picked a hospital that shared our birthing philosophy, and in turn, the hospital staff who shared our philosophy just happened to be part of the deal. A concept, at least for me, seems to be extremely productive.

The relationship between practice and hospital as two separate entities either in tolerance or contention of each other’s methods, as in the States, does not exists since in London these two entities are one in the same.

This relationship became very apparent when, due to our late booking status, the midwives requested we meet with one of the hospitals “Consultant Obstetricians”. First, I should point out the term “Consultant” is given to the highest level of doctors in the UK. Second, doctors of his level abandoned the formalities of white jackets and titles like “Dr. Gupta”. Third, they live up to their position as “consultants” rather than dictators... I mean doctors.

Our consultant actually greeted us in the waiting room and personally took us to his office. Please note my choice of words: “Office”. Not, examination room, but “office”. Although there were some examination equipment present in his office. We all sat, talked and got to know each other. The consultant took a very quick history of Serena’s first successful birth, listened to Gilliam’s heart beat, and assured Serena she would be very happy and have a very successful second birth no matter how she chose to deliver.

Most importantly, the consultant answered Serena’s 100 million dollar question beautifully. At the time, Gilliam was not in the correct position… so Serena threw out a question regarding hospital policy and breach births. Since most medical schools, in the States, no longer teach more complicated natural childbirth techniques, breach births and delivery of twins almost always end in c-sections, and hospitals are pretty up front about their opinions in the matter.

But, rather than visiting that topic directly, our consultant first listed all the various options and techniques that can be used in aiding a more complicated health delivery, both naturally and surgically. He admitted that the hospitals stance on the issue was that of a c-section, but he also noted his personal feelings on the matter was not in line with the hospital boards… and basically told us that it was our birth and that we had complete and total control over it. If Gilliam progressed as a breach baby (which he wasn’t) the hospital would in no way force her to have a c-section since all of their staff is also trained on alternative natural delivery methods.

In the end, Serena walked away very happy and confident… and the experience of meeting the consultant was one of the most refreshing medical experiences of my life.

Second, or course, to my wisdom teeth extraction fiasco… which is another story for another time.

Day 582: The Birth Experience, Part 7: St. John & Lizzies Hospital Tour

Now, as this story continues to drag on worse than a James Cameron film, you’ll find our experiences with St. John and Lizzies, in London, was the polar opposite than that in Atlanta. The first, remarkable difference was the hospital tour. It was actually conducted by one of the hospital’s midwives, rather than “The Love Boats” own Julie McCoy.

And of course, the tone of the tour was completely different since the woman giving the tour was also one of the women who actually deliver the babies. Completely intuitive to our desires, she guided us through the various services at our disposal in the delivery room. She showed us not only the bed, but also the birthing tub, the floor mats, and the enormous beanbag pillows. Our “tour guide” never once made an assumption as to how Serena would give birth, but simply focused on her options, always adding the phrase, “which ever you prefer,” to her sentences. Furthermore, the midwives reminded us to call ahead when we were on our way so they could fill the birth tub just in case and also introduced us to their aroma theory and music options. The tour was a very welcome change.

Also worth noting was the absence of IV trees or fetal heart rate monitors in the delivery rooms… at least from what I noticed.

Day 581: Making Children Cry

I passed a kid on the street today who was wearing an Indianapolis Colts hat. Who knew making a little British kid cry would be so emotionally gratifying?

Day 580: The Birth Experience, Part 6: Atlanta and the Northside Tour

Continuing our saga, by the time Serena moved back to Atlanta, she knew she wanted a 100% unmediated natural childbirth. So, from the moment of her arrival, it became very important for us to start putting our team together. For our first round draft pick we needed a doctor… or rather a midwife. And Serena quickly identified a practice of midwives that fit our team perfectly. Plus, the practice was co-founded by one of the best natural childbirth OB’s in the Atlanta area. In short, we were in very good hands.

One very humorous fact about this practice is their main client base. As a result of their dedication to natural childbirth, they mainly serve the Latin community in Atlanta and when attending appointments it was not abnormal for us to be the only folks who spoke English in the waiting room. This Latin Natural Birth connection would be an interesting sociological study.

Anyway, the practice was perfect except for one issue. They only had hospital rights at Northside. And although we had heard rumors about Northside, it wasn’t until our hospital tour that we realized what we were walking into. The tour was very, how shall I put it?… rehearsed. “Rehearsed” is a good way to describe it. If you can imagine a cruise ship activates coordinator giving a tour of a hospital then you will have a clear picture of what it was like.

Furthermore, the tour was not really about what the hospital had to offer us, the patient, or rather, the paying customer… it was more like a class in the Northside way of childbirth. Masked under an overly perky delivery, the tour was very direct in its specifics, “You will go here… we will do this… you will lay here… so we can do this…” No, they were setting the tone of authority and how they wanted to handle it. There was no other option than laying on your back, with an IV in your arm, hooked up to a fetal monitor, with theatre lights shining in your face. The post birth portion of the tour relied heavily on, “this is where we’ll take your baby while you rest” and “these are the things we’ll do to the baby after the birth.” There was never a tone of, “If you wish, we can do this or that because it’s your birth.”

There was also quite a lengthy presentation on pain management options. At one point the guide asked if anyone was planning a scheduled c-section… we were the only couple without a raised hand. The experience was very odd and personally, it led me to start asking the same questions Serena had been researching for months and ultimately I jump on her band wagon… if we were going to have the kind of birth Serena wanted… we were going to work for it.

Day 579: Gilliam’s Citizenship

Oh, another thing people keep asking us is if Gilliam will be a dual citizen, both American and British, since he was born in the UK. The answer is, “not really”.

On paper, the answer is “no.”

Unlike the United States, the UK does not recognize location of the birth as a factor in citizenship. So, the mere fact that he was born in London does not mean anything to the Brits. Citizenship, at birth, is solely related to the parents. Since neither Serena nor I are British subjects, neither is Gilliam.

But, that being said, we have heard that down the road, when Gilliam is an adult, if he wishes to apply for British citizenship, it wouldn’t be too hard for him to get it due to the fact he was born here.

Who knows really… I’ll let you know what Gilliam decides to do in eighteen years.

Day 578: The Birth Experience, Part 5: Naming the Next Leaders of Our Fine Land

People often ask me, “how did you come up with the names Grayson and Gilliam? Are they family names? What is the significance?” Well, as all Schutz Happenings, it’s a bit of a long story.

With Grayson, it all started with his middle name: Oliver. Oliver Bounds was my mother’s father. He was one heck of a guy, great sense of humor, and loved his grandchildren (all 25+ of them). For some reason, a long time ago, I became fixated with naming my future son, Oliver. When Serena got pregnant, I expressed this wish and, although it wasn’t her first choice, Oliver quickly became slated as our boy’s middle name. From there, the quest for a first name began, which wasn’t easy. We actually picked our girls name very quickly: Gracie Rene… but we just couldn’t seem to figure out a first name that flowed with Oliver… and that flow was very important to us… his name had to roll off our tongues. And… we just couldn’t seem to find anything we liked. So we turned to the name we loved, “Gracie”… and started dreaming up male variations. Every variation imaginable except for Grayson… then FINALLY, a few days before Gray’s gender ultrasound Serena woke up with an idea. She woke me from my slumber, “Huh, what?” She looked at my dead in the eye, “Grayson”. I thought for a second and said it out loud, “Grayson Oliver.” I smiled, “it’s perfect.” A few days later, I wasn’t able to attend the ultrasound, but when Serena called to reveal the results she said, “We’re having a Grayson.” I was ecstatic.

In the end, I loved having Grayson’s name picked out so early. I know some people like to wait… or feel the need to see the baby in order to pick out a name… but I think a name is a much deeper and personal thing… as a father, not having the emotional connection of actually carrying the baby, having the name gave me something to bond with as I prepared to become a father. When Grayson was finally born, it wasn’t like, “Oh my God, I’m a father now, and I must name you. We will call you Grayson.” No, it was more like, “Grayson, it is so wonderful to finally get to hold you.” Watching Serena call him by name seconds after he was born was a beautiful moment that I will never forget.

So, with Gilliam… I really felt it was important, Grayson and I, to have a name pick out prior to the gender ultrasound again, so we could start bonding with a name. And we almost didn’t make it. In fact, we didn’t have any names picked out in time for Serena’s first gender ultrasound… luckily it was inconclusive, and as a result we became convinced we were having a girl. But, to this day, we still haven’t agreed on a girl’s name… so thank God we had a boy… but we still cut it close with Gilly, picking out his name just a couple days before his second ultrasound.

Now, to begin with a boy we decided to go the same route as Grayson Oliver, by picking a family name as his middle name and then something a bit more unique as a first name. So, in the spirit of “Oliver” we started by looking at the other three great-grandfathers: Finas, Vernon, and Wilbert… umm… er… huh… When that didn’t work out, we decided to see if these three fine gentlemen had kickin’ middle names: Finas Garland, Vernon Ferdinand, and Wilbert James.

Yes, you didn’t read that incorrectly, my father’s father was named Vernon Ferdinand. Ferdinand is a Schutz family name… apparently… which I might wish to revisit if we have a third boy at some point… but for now… we were not prepared to name our child “Ferdinand”.

Plus, to my grandfather’s credit, when he was confirmed he took the name St. James, and quickly adopted James as his new middle name dropping Ferdinand forever. Incidentally, my brother and I discovered this only a few years ago while researching our family tree. The farther we went back, we lost track of our grandfather in the census records, but we had found an entry for Vernon F. Schutz a couple times… this mystery last about a year and finally, around the tenth time we had this confusing conversation about “Vernon F.” in the presence of our father, he finally chimed in, “Vernon F.? That’s my dad. You didn’t know his real middle name was Ferdinand?” .

Anyway, back to Gilliam. Since, essentially, two of Gilliam’s great-grandfather’s had James has their middle names… plus his grandfathers are named Wilbert James, V and Vernon James, Jr… AND the fact that my brother’s name is James Edward and Serena’s brother is Wilbert James, VI… “James” quickly became the front runner as our useable family name… so, now it was a question of a proper first name.

But what? We tried every name known to man… and honestly, I was pushing for “Drake”. Why “Drake”? Well simple: when Dick Grayson stopped working with Batman to become Nightwing, Timothy Drake took over the vacant role as Robin. We could have two Robbins! Brilliant! But, I am sure you’ve already figured out how that conversation went.

Anyway, we finally found the name Gilliam, oddly enough, while watching Adam Sandler’s “Bedtime Stories”… and we both like the name: “Gilliam James”… it certainly flowed… and then a couple days later… the gender ultrasound. It’s a boy!

Guess what Grayson? We’re having a Gilliam. And he was ecstatic.

Day 577: The Birth Experience, Part 4: Health Insurance

When we walked away from our physician in Nashville it didn’t make much sense for Serena to find another doctor there… only to leave a couple months later to move to Atlanta. So, the decision was made to push up her move… which lead to a certain amount of complications.

You see, Serena and I were not legally married at the time, so when she left her job in Nashville she would also be walking away from her health insurance… pregnant… without any health insurance. Our original plan was for Serena to stay in Nashville until around Christmas time, at which time we would float her Cobra insurance for a month or two until she had Grayson. But, when we pushed up her move from December to September, the out of pocket cost for Cobra was simply too much. We could float a month or two… but not five or six months.

We weighed our options and decided to move forward with the move without insurance.

But, for fun, I decided to challenge my insurance provider a little with a very pointed phone call. First, I ask what kind of coverage Serena would get if we got married right away. They informed me she would get full coverage except for the pregnancy. “You won’t cover the pregnancy?” “No, sir, the pregnancy is a preexisting condition.” WHAT? You have to be kidding me.

Composure. Time for some fun.

“Okay, then I would like to just cover the baby.”

“Once the baby is born you can submit---“

“No, I would like to cover the baby now, can you help me add him to my policy.”

“Sir, we cannot add the baby to your policy until it is born.”

“Why?”

“We can’t cover the baby until the baby is alive.” The woman on the phone actually used the word “alive”… with was very unfortunate for her.

“But he is alive.”

“Sir, but your child has not been born.”

“Sure, but we can’t have an abortion either. The United States Government considers my baby a life, why aren’t you? Since he is a life, I am his father, born or not, and I wish to cover him with my insurance.”

I know, I know… this is a very brutal argument… but I do feel very strongly about this issue. As a society, if we are going to take the time to define when a life begins, that decision should be binding. If a life begins before birth, then dang it, insurance companies should honor the unborn child as a dependent.

In the end?

“Sir, we do not consider your baby to be alive until it has been born.”

“Does the birth need to be vaginally or c-section?” (That’s right! I ended on one last dig!)

So, the big question is this… what was I trying to accomplish by my challenge? In a perfect world… a utopian world that only exists in my mind, Blue Cross/Blue Shield would have offered to cover Grayson’s birth, which means, by default they would cover Serena only for the birth… but under one very harsh condition:

I would sign a promissory note. After the birth a paternity test would be performed. If for whatever reason Grayson was not mine, I would becomes responsible for all birth expenses. And of course, when the paternity test determines Grayson is mine, BC/BS would take care of everything as they should.

Anyway, if you haven’t glazed over by now and aren’t drooling on your keyboards, I bet you are wondering what happened next. Well, since Serena was pregnant, unmarried and unemployed when she moved to Atlanta she qualified for Medicaid. Seriously… but that only lasted for a couple months and it helped up bridge the gap. Ultimately, through the temp agency Serena was working for, she was offered a permanent part-time position. Serena demanded the guy wanting to hire her pay for her Cobra insurance (on top of her hourly wage). He agreed. I was amazed.

Day 576: Mardi Gras

In honor of Mardi Gras I thought I would take an opportunity to gloat about New Orleans’s Super Bowl victory.

Okay, now that the gloating is over, I would like to tip my have to New Orleans in another way. By, praising Disney’s new film, “The Princess and the Frog”. Now, I see a lot of movies… before kids, I used to go to the movies at least once a week… but now? Well… I’ve only been to the theatre a handful of times in the last twelve months… and most of the time they are to see children’s movies with Grayson… some good, some okay, some not so good. But, in the realm of children’s movies, “The Princess and the Frog” is excellent. It was an interesting balance of Tennessee Williams, August Wilson, and Classic Walt Disney. Two thumbs up

In my movie geek opinion, if Pixar’s “Up” wasn’t in the running for the “Best Animated Film” Oscar, “The Princess and the Frog” would be the hands down winner. The positive press surrounding the film is warranted. Gone are the days of Brother Bear… This is a solid film with a solid script, more reminiscent of how Disney used to make films.

It borrows a lot of elements and is pretty self aware about it, even including the classic “Frog Prince” fable, which wasn't just a theme skirted around, but a major story element front and center. It was complete with John Goodman’s character being called “Big Daddy” and shouting “Stella” at the top of his lungs… it was a cheap joke, but still made me laugh. On the other hand, it’s homage to jazz-era New Orleans was beautiful and Terrance Howard (from Hustle and Flow) should teach classes in voice acting. His cameo as the hard working father who is motivated only by his love for his family was moving. And the more classic Disney elements like the Jazz trumpet playing Gator and the Cajan, Zydico playing, Fireflies reminded me of “Jungle Book”… while also capturing a love story reminiscent to “Cinderella”.

For my friends with kids, this is a must see movie.

For my friends without kids who follow movies, I would recommend giving this one a view… it’s not a skipable children’s movie.

Day 575: President’s Day

Honestly folks… I have a brand new respect for President’s day… My two weeks of paternity leave are over… but I get to stay home for just one more day. Oh, how brilliant it is. Thanks for the timing Gilliam!

Day 574: Happy Valentine’s Day

Serena, I love you babe! Thank you so much for the gift of our boys… and putting up with me.

Day 573: Truly Great Chocolate

Serena and I are pretty spoiled. You can get some truly great Chocolate over here. And the fact we have family and friends in Switzerland really helps too. A few days ago, Serena and I were gorging ourselves with fabulous chili chocolates and some ginger chocolate we picked up from the store, when Serena pondered, “I wonder why you can’t find chocolate this great in America… you would thing American’s would have discerning tastes when it comes to chocolate.”

After thinking about it for a moment, I responded, “Yes, but American’s also eat Kraft singles.”

Serena: “Good point.”

Day 572: SchutzHappens Family Video - January 2010, "Fish & CHiPs"

Day 571: The Birth Experience, Part 3: The 1st OB Doctor

Throughout the journey, our experience with OB’s has been both good and bad. The fact our first experience was so bad is probably why we are so opinionated about this subject today. But, at the same time it is very hard to vilify our first OB, I am sure she is very nice… and probably an excellent physician… but we wouldn’t really know since we barely ever got any time with her… and when she was around we were convinced she had some sort of social disorder which didn’t allow her to volunteer information or exhibit signs of tenderness.

The lack of these two traits became a very big deal with us.

When we first found out we were pregnant with Grayson, Serena was still working in Nashville. We ultimate had plans for her to move to Atlanta and have the baby, but for the time being she was going to stay in Nashville. She had only been in Nashville for a couple months and being new to the town she trusted her primary care physician and made an appointment with the referred OB. We’ll call her, Dr. Sourpuss.

At the time we were rocking the long-distance relationship and I rearranged my schedule and drove up from Atlanta for the appointment… which proved to be incredible disappointing.

After being relegated to the waiting room for two hours we were finally called to an examination room where we waited another thirty minutes. When the doctor arrived she quickly introduced herself, confirmed the due date, listened to Grayson heartbeat, wrote a prescription for prenatal vitamins, took a breath, and asked, “do you have any questions?” The whole scene went down so quickly, Serena was stunned to silence when the doctors question escaped her lips. After the fact Serena was like, “Do I have any questions? Of course I have questions, but where the hell do I even begin.” But in the situation, I don’t remember Serena having a question. But, what I do remember is the doctor asking about Serena’s thoughts about preferred method of delivery… when the doctor started going through the options, she led with “scheduled c-section.” That I remember.

Being our first visit to the office we believed the excuses the nurses were giving us… after all is you’re a baby doctor, people are very forgiving when you say the doctor is late because she is delivering a baby. And if she really was at a birth and tired, as we justified, we forgave her cold gruffness. But, in reality, we didn’t catch her on a bad day. Serena was consistently scheduled for appoints that wouldn’t actually start for hours… and Dr. Sourpuss was never any help when it came to Serena’s questions and concerns.

Serena quickly realized if she really wanted to know what was going on with her body, she was going to have to do the research herself, and rather than following blindly, we began to question.

What we found out was the following:

There seem to be two very different opposing views regarding childbirth.

1. Childbirth is something that is perfectly natural and women have been doing it successfully for years without assistance… so let’s keep medical intervention to a minimum.

2. Childbirth is an illness that should be dealt with through surgical means.

Now, Serena and I of course lean towards option one, but we also recognize the advances and benefits surgical methods have given to childbirth… especially when it comes to lowering the mortality rates of both mother and baby. We understand that birth can get complicated. But, we also feel that society has become too reliant on these surgical means. We choose to have our babies at birth centers associated with hospitals just in case. And thankfully, we haven’t needed to tap into those services. But, just because we are at a hospital doesn’t mean we need to have their surgical services shoved down our throat either.

Anyway, in the end Serena made the decision that she wanted to have a natural childbirth with Grayson and in order to do that, we also recognized Dr. Sourpuss would not be able to give us the kind of support in this decision as we needed. So… it became time to move on… earlier than anticipated.

Day 570: Grayson Turns 4!!!

It is really hard to believe Grayson is already turning four years old… and it is equally unbelievable that Grayson is now a big brother. It is hard for me to put into words how incredible proud I am of Grayson. He is so smart and funny and loving, all of the necessary traits of a truly great big brother.

I can’t help but look at him, seeing how much he has grown, and wonder what’s going on in his head. Being a big brother is something I can’t relate too. I’m the youngest in my family and the trip to big brotherdom wasn’t a journey I got to embark on. I have no idea how it feels. I understand what it feels like to be a father. I understand that kind of love… but big brother love is probably a little bit different.

Grayson is incredible with Gilliam. Grayson give him lots of kisses, wants to touch or be close to him, and he oozes a sense of pride in having Gilliam as part of the family. Yet, from time to time I can also sense a twinge of internalized jealousy, which is totally understandable; after all, he was an incredibly spoiled only child for almost four years. But I also see him work through those emotions, and having never been through them myself, I am incredibly impressed.

Over the last week, when it’s been just the two of us, we’ve been talking about it. I’ll ask him how it feels to be a big brother and Gray will do his best to put it into words… he is very happy to have Gilliam and can’t wait to teach him all about super heroes and Star Wars and sports… all the things big brother are supposed to teach their little brothers. I tell him how excited I am that he gets to be a big brother, reinforcing the gift he’s been given, and how he gets to be something that his father never got to be… which is an idea that always gives him a smile.

Even though I was only a little brother, I have a truly great big brother who taught me all the things that big brothers are supposed to teach their little brothers… and just a week after Gilliam’s birth, I look at Grayson and can’t help but think, “This must have been how Jimmy was with me.” And if Grayson grows up to be a big brother like my big brother, Gilliam is going to be a very lucky little boy.

All that being said, I do have concerns about Grayson’s taste in football teams; while watching Super Bowl highlights yesterday, Grayson heard the announcer say, “the Colts”… at which time Grayson began jumping up and down scream, “The Colts, the Colts! I love the Colts, they are my favorite team.” As I stopped twitching, I gave Serena a sideways glance, who was sporting a smug grin. I composed myself, looked at Grayson in the eye and said, “That’s great Grayson… if you like LOSERS!” (j/k). Don’t worry; Grayson will stop crying at some point. I’m not sure if I have time to deprogram the damage Serena has inflicted on our first born, but rest assured, I will be keeping Gilliam on a much shorter leash.

Lol.

Happy birthday my little man!

Day 569: Anita’s Milestone

Well folks. Today Anita, Serena’s mother, arrives in London. This marks her first international trip, which is a huge milestone. Which surprises me actually, because she lives in Indiana, in fairly close proximity to Indianapolis… which… you know… I would assume people would want to get themselves as far away as possible… but evidently not. GO SAINTS!

All kidding aside, this is a pretty big deal for Anita, she just said, “I feel like I’m having an out of body experience.” Lol. Well Anita, we are all very proud of you for biting the bullet and making the trip. Tomorrow is Grayson’s birthday and I know it will be extra special having his Grandma here to help celebrate.

And to help prepare her for her week in London or anyone else traveling to England for that matter, Rick Gervais and Daivd Letterman have prepared a, what not to say, lesson for all American's:

Day 568: The Birth Experience, Part 2: The Hospitals

First, I should explain the London Hospital, St. John and Elizabeth’s, is not public, it is private. The UK actually has a dual system. Not unlike our education system in the States, there are public schools which guarantee everyone a certain level of education, and then there are private schools which offer more enhanced and/or targeted services for those who have the means and desire. In short, if you are going to pay for your child to go to a private school you would also expect the private school to provide a standard that exceeds what you would get for free. Private healthcare providers in the UK understand and follow this model. I can only assume that St. John and Elizabeth’s exceeds what you can get from the public option, but it also far exceeds what you can get from the private options in the States… at least what we experienced with Grayson at Northside Hospital in Atlanta, aka, “The Baby Factory”.

Northside Hospital does, on average, over 50 births a day. At the close of 2005 Northside made national headlines for breaking the world record for the number of total births in one calendar year by a single hospital… the total was 18,331 births. Yet, strangely enough, just one month and ten days after breaking this record, when we arrived to Northside to have Grayson, we were assigned a nurse who had only attended one, previous, 100% unmediated natural, child birth.

To this day, I still find the ratios astounding. Northside has a 38.3% c-section rate and what, with a nurse at the busiest birthing hospital in the world having only attended one natural birth in her career I can only assume what Northsides natural v. medicated ratios are.

Now, I am not saying that St. John and Lizzy’s (as the locals call it) doesn’t do medicated births or c-sections, the birth center is attached to a hospital after all. But as you will discover over the course of my posts, the two hospitals behaved is complete different ways regarding implementation of policy in association with the wishes of the parents.

After all, women were having babies well before the invention of the “hospital”, right?

Day 567: Go Saints!

I know, I am huge tease, aren’t I? I lay down a thick blog entry announcing an entire series on our Birth Experience… only to follow it one day later with a football post. But, come on folks, I’m still a dude and have to pay homage to the football gods today.

Some of you may know that I LOVE professional football. Not college… I like pro. Scratch that… I love pro ball. And the Falcon’s (or whoever is playing the Colts) are my teams. Why I am a pro football fan… why I am a diehard Falcon’s fan… and why I loathe the Colts? Well, it is a bit of an odd story. Sure, I am from Atlanta, so that should explain the Falcon’s… but it is a little more complicated than that… and honestly, I hated football for a long time. I spent too many years as a marching band brat being drug to countless high school and college games. And furthermore, the influence of pro ball was virtually non-existent in my house. Sure, we watched the Super Bowl from time to time, but in 1984 professional football was pretty much abandoned in my house.

Why is 1984 the year pro-football died? Well, I didn’t grow up as an Atlanta Falcon’s fan… I grew up as a Baltimore Colt fan. And in March, 1984 the Colts left Baltimore. Now, I understand and appreciate the fact that franchised move and reinvent themselves. I am sure there are some diehard Dallas Texan fans out there still burned by their move to Baltimore and subsequent name change to the Colts… but the Colts move to Indianapolis was a bit more sinister… for starters the team moved secretly in the middle of the night. The good people of Baltimore went to bed with a football team and woke up without one. Sinister.

But, when this happened we were already living in Atlanta and the situation could have been forgiven… eventually… but no… the REAL catalyst for my family turning their back on pro ball happened a couple months later during our families summer vacation and a spur of the moment stop in Canton, Ohio to visit the Football Hall of Fame.

Shortly after arriving my mother and father started to notice something very unsettling. Every plaque in the hall of fame referring to the Colts had been changed to say the Indianapolis Colts. Every player inducted into the Hall of Fame who played on the Baltimore Colts we now listed as players for the Indianapolis Colts, including Johnny Unitas. All three NFL Championships won while in Baltimore were changed to give credit to Indianapolis… and the last straw for my father was when he saw the Super Bowl V Room: Indianapolis Colts vs. Dallas Cowboys. I remember my father being very irritated and quickly ushering us out of the Hall and into the car, and from that day forward my father never casually watched another professional football game on an average Sunday afternoon ever again.

BTW, my hats off the Wikipedia, if you look at their list of Super Bowl winners; they give credit to the city the team called home at the time of the win. Why the Hall of Fame couldn’t do this, I don’t know.

And it should also be noted that Serena was born in Indianapolis. The “Indianapolis” Colts is the team she grew up rooting for… this is a sour subject in our house… but I forgive her. Some might call our love a modern day Romeo and Juliet story… but frankly, if just reminds me that nobody is perfect.

Oh, and I’ve only been inside the Indianapolis city limits once in my entire life… it was on a business trip. I had to be paid to go there. BTW, have you signed my petition to mover the Bands of America Competition to Baltimore?

Anyway, how in the world did this embittered curmudgeon learn to love professional football again?

Oddly enough, my love for pro ball was fostered in college. Apparently, young college men MUST follow football… but I went to the College of Charleston… who has no team of their own. So, for some unknown reason as the professional season of 1998 approached my roommates, Michael and Shannon, began lamenting about how they had stopped following football after they got out of the army. And it didn’t take much time to put this longing into action.

We made a household pack to pick one team and follow them religiously for the entire season win or lose. We vowed to be fanatical for the lucky team we picked. That team was the Atlanta Falcon’s. Why the Falcons? Well, Michael and Shannon were both from Charleston, South Carolina. Growing up, the closest professional teams were six hours away in Atlanta… so they grew up watching them. And of course, I was from Atlanta, so that completed the circle. Simple as that… we certainly didn’t pick the team because they were good… the Falcon’s had always been a mediocre team, during the 32 years as a franchise prior to becoming our household team, the Falcon’s had three wild card berths and one conference championship under their belt. And out of these 4 playoff bids, they never once made it past the Divisional Playoff. And it certainly wasn’t because the Falcon’s sported high profile players… because they didn’t have any.

Anyway, back to the point. For those of you who follow football, should have figured out the significance of following the Atlanta Falcon in 1998. That was the year quarterback Chris Chandler led OUR Falcons to a 14-2 season, which was a franchise record which led to a division championship, a conference championship, AND a berth in the Super Bowl. This was the first time and only time the Falcon’s have ever made it to the big game! It was a crazy year… and as the season progressed and the Falcon domination heightened, so did the level of our Sunday afternoon antics.

Shannon worked in an IT field at a very large company and had access to their AV equipment… if nothing was checked out on Friday afternoons, he would bring home a projection TV and we could project the games on one complete side of our living room, floor to ceiling. And as news of our all day bar-bq’s and insanely big screen spread... so did Falcon’s fever.

Our tailgating/pre-game festivities began to start earlier and earlier with every Falcon win. It was madness. What started as three guys looking for some way to make our Sunday’s more interesting… turned into a Super Bowl Sunday I will never forget. The grill was lit at 10am in conjunction with ESPN’s “History of the Super Bowl” coverage on the big screen and our first tailgating arrivals. The viewing party was massive… and the pot luck food spread was unbelievable… we estimated over 150 people over the course of the day crammed into our apartment.

This is why I am a crazy, foaming mouth, nut about pro-football. It was the Fall of 1998… and I know… some day… in my heart of hearts… the Falcon will one day take their rightful place and win that national championship! And I will be there ready to party!

Until then? I am to dominate my football pools… I play multiple pools and I have won every single one of them for the last two seasons… and I’m feeling a threepeat coming on! Got what it takes? I’m up for the challenge!

Enjoy your Super Bowl Sunday’s everyone! And no matter what Serena said, be sure to root for the Saints!

Day 566: The Birth Experience, Part 1

We had a myriad of strange reactions when we told people we wanted to have Gilliam in London rather than the States. Honestly, there were two key facts that laid the groundwork for our decision:

1) Serena hates flying transcontinental… and coupled with the fact that she would have to go by herself, 8 months pregnant, with a three year old in tow… plus luggage for a three month stay. Then come back by herself with a new born, a four year old, and the same luggage. Folks, Belgrade to Atlanta (and vice versa) is about a 17 hour-ish journey with a layover. It’s extremely draining when you only have to worry about yourself.

2) Serena and I have volunteered to take an unaccompanied tour and I will be moving to Pakistan later this year… simply put, we wanted to maximize the amount of time we could spend together as a family before I head off. Having them in London gave me more access to them… I can spend about two of the three months with them here… but, in Atlanta, I would have only been able to spend about six weeks.

Anyway, the idea of a much shorter flight and family togetherness seemed to strike people funny, not that it is any of their business anyway, but they couldn’t seem to understand why Serena want to go London over the States. Healthcare is so much better in the States than anywhere else in the world, right? Er… Umm… Well… couple this with the fact that London is known for being an incredibly expensive city; I guess you have a sound argument. Except that we have discovered that groceries in London are cheaper than in Belgrade… so as long as you are not obsessed with eating out, have a kitchen and know how to cook, London is actually a reasonable place to live… even for a short while… and if housing is provided, of course. :)

Well, after experiencing Grayson’s birth in the States and now, Gilliam’s in the UK, I have to say, the UK experience far outweighs the US experience. And a decision that was originally made to easy travel and contact has proven to be one of the best decisions we have ever made as a family. Our birth experience in London was nothing less than remarkable… which makes me wonder… why is a healthcare system like the UK’s so vilified in the United States?

But, don’t jump to conclusions though… I don’t intend argue for or against socialized healthcare in the United States on my blog… why would I want too? I know very little about UK’s system other than what I have experienced. Plus, I am a product of the American’s Socialized School system and I have terrible grammar, questionable spelling skills, and I look funny.

But, what I do have is a story and a family who has had two very different birth experiences, in two very different countries. The first in a system I wouldn’t wish on any new family… and the second was the way it should always be. And, I also recognize that I don’t know how normal either experience was for the county and system they occurred in… I only know what I have experienced and I would like to share.

And that is exactly what I intend to do. Over the next few days/weeks/months (whatever) I plan to share both experiences side by side from beginning to end… the Grayson Experience and the Gilliam Experience together to form one Birth Experience.

Stay tuned, “The Birth Experience” will continue…

Day 565: Welcome to the World Gilliam!

Life is just too darn exciting. Seriously people… it is so hard to believe World Nutella Day is here again. Man, the year just flew by! Oh… and it’s also hard to believe Gilliam is five days old today! How crazy is that? Only a week ago, Serena was wondering if he was going to come out at all. But, even though he is late, Gilliam is in very good company… he is one in a long line of procrastinators… but the good thing about the Schutz’s is that we’re functional procrastinators.

What do I mean by functional? Well, sometimes in middle school my mom would say, I need to pick you up right after school for a doctors appoint… don’t take the bus. So, after school I would sit out front of the school and watch as every other kid was picked up… and then about 30 minutes later my mom would finally arrive. How is this functional? Well… she came didn’t she? She didn’t abandon me… and somehow we always made it to our doctor’s appointments on time-ish.

Okay, that’s probably a bad example… BUT! When it comes to birth… this is where the Schutz procrastination really shines. My brother and I were both Christmas-ish due dates… but apparently, we both opted to hang out in womb-dom a little while longer… but of course, being the functional procrastinators that we are, even though late, we made sure we popped out before the New Year so our pops could cash in the tax deduction. I know! Aren’t we sweet? Totally.

For Grayson. It was cashing in a $25.00 gift certificate to Scalini’s Italian Restaurant. You see, Scalini’s in known for its eggplant plant parmesan’s labor inducing abilities. If you deliver within 48 hours of eating their eggplant parmesan you get a $25 buck gift certificate. Seriously, check it out: http://www.scalinis.com/Bambino.htm.

Anyway, Serena and I went the day after Grayson’s due date… and BAM, two days later he popped out! Now, I have to admit, there is some debate as to Grayson’s eligibility for the gift certificate since he was born at 7:17pm on February 10^th… yet we arrived at Scalini’s at 6pm on February 8^th. Technically, Grayson was sitting at 49:17 hour mark. But, Gray’s grandparents went to Scalini’s for the official call… at which time they determined that even though we arrived to the restaurant at 6pm, there was no telling when the eggplant parmesan was delivered to the table or when Serena had finished eating… or if she took a doggy bag home and finished it later. SCORE! Gray’s late, yet a winner!

And poor Gilliam… his arrival was just as nail biting. You see… I made a mistake... I listened to Eric Parker. If you ever run into a man named Eric Parker (even if he’s not the same guy) just don’t listen to him… it will save you a lot of stress. Anyway, Eric and I were talking about Christmas gifts for our wives and he said, “You know what you should get? You should get something with birthstones; birthstones are always a winner with my wife.” Of course I was like, “Huh… what a good idea.” Apparently, I had forgotten Eric was from Alabama… so I held onto his advice.

Then if things weren’t bad enough I listened to my wife, “second time mothers almost always go before their due date… there is no way this baby will go past his due date.” Lock! Designed! Ordered! And three weeks later a beautiful heart shaped birthstone pendant arrived featuring a December stone to signify both me and Serena… a February stone for Grayson… and a January stone for Gilliam. On Christmas… I gave this pendent to Serena. Then… Gilliam’s due date, January 20-ish, came and went… and went… and went… would I really have to get the pendent reset? Or should I just kept it to beat Eric over the head with next time I see him? No… relax… deep breath… Gilliam comes from a long time. He’ll come through for good old dad… and at 4:25pm, January 31^st… Gilliam came through… both literally and figuratively… all 9 pounds, 5 ounces of him.

Welcome to the world my beautiful boy!

Pops owes you one!

Day 561: The Best British Television Show EVER!

Day 561: The Best British Television Show EVER!

The other night, after looking around and realizing I was the only one in the family still awake… I only knew two things: I was tired… but I was also hungry. So, I opted to make a quick bedtime snack and of course, as I munched away I wanted watch a show. But, I wasn’t really in the mood to commit myself to a 30 minute show so I opted out of streaming something from my Netflix backlog… instead I decided to channel surf, which is something I almost never do, at least since I bought my first Tivo 5 years ago. Anyway… I can never find anything worth watching when I channel surf, so there was no fear of being sucked in… or so I thought.

What I found was a little show called “We Need Answers”. At first, it was so low budget and bizarre that it was like watching train wreck… three random hosts were introduces… followed by two celebrity contestants… train wreck… or so I thought.

When round one (“Questions and Answers”) began, I found myself laughing… then the second round, (“Him or Her”) had me in stitches… then round three (a ridiculous physical challenge) and round four (the frantic “quickfire round”) were sheer comic genius!!! The subtle brilliance of the humor amazing me and I was hooked.

But, then, at the end of the show, when the hosts made the losing celebrity clatter off the stage wearing the “red clogs of defeat” and gave the winning celebrity a plate and pate (that’s right, meat pate) dawning the “We Need Answers” Logo… I knew I was witnessing one of the greatest tv shows of all time…

Just take a look!

Classic Host disagreement within the show:

Well, don’t take my word for it… here is a clip of some of their greatest moments of 2009.