Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Day 570: Grayson Turns 4!!!

It is really hard to believe Grayson is already turning four years old… and it is equally unbelievable that Grayson is now a big brother. It is hard for me to put into words how incredible proud I am of Grayson. He is so smart and funny and loving, all of the necessary traits of a truly great big brother.

I can’t help but look at him, seeing how much he has grown, and wonder what’s going on in his head. Being a big brother is something I can’t relate too. I’m the youngest in my family and the trip to big brotherdom wasn’t a journey I got to embark on. I have no idea how it feels. I understand what it feels like to be a father. I understand that kind of love… but big brother love is probably a little bit different.

Grayson is incredible with Gilliam. Grayson give him lots of kisses, wants to touch or be close to him, and he oozes a sense of pride in having Gilliam as part of the family. Yet, from time to time I can also sense a twinge of internalized jealousy, which is totally understandable; after all, he was an incredibly spoiled only child for almost four years. But I also see him work through those emotions, and having never been through them myself, I am incredibly impressed.

Over the last week, when it’s been just the two of us, we’ve been talking about it. I’ll ask him how it feels to be a big brother and Gray will do his best to put it into words… he is very happy to have Gilliam and can’t wait to teach him all about super heroes and Star Wars and sports… all the things big brother are supposed to teach their little brothers. I tell him how excited I am that he gets to be a big brother, reinforcing the gift he’s been given, and how he gets to be something that his father never got to be… which is an idea that always gives him a smile.

Even though I was only a little brother, I have a truly great big brother who taught me all the things that big brothers are supposed to teach their little brothers… and just a week after Gilliam’s birth, I look at Grayson and can’t help but think, “This must have been how Jimmy was with me.” And if Grayson grows up to be a big brother like my big brother, Gilliam is going to be a very lucky little boy.

All that being said, I do have concerns about Grayson’s taste in football teams; while watching Super Bowl highlights yesterday, Grayson heard the announcer say, “the Colts”… at which time Grayson began jumping up and down scream, “The Colts, the Colts! I love the Colts, they are my favorite team.” As I stopped twitching, I gave Serena a sideways glance, who was sporting a smug grin. I composed myself, looked at Grayson in the eye and said, “That’s great Grayson… if you like LOSERS!” (j/k). Don’t worry; Grayson will stop crying at some point. I’m not sure if I have time to deprogram the damage Serena has inflicted on our first born, but rest assured, I will be keeping Gilliam on a much shorter leash.

Lol.

Happy birthday my little man!

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