Day 565: Welcome to the World Gilliam!

Life is just too darn exciting. Seriously people… it is so hard to believe World Nutella Day is here again. Man, the year just flew by! Oh… and it’s also hard to believe Gilliam is five days old today! How crazy is that? Only a week ago, Serena was wondering if he was going to come out at all. But, even though he is late, Gilliam is in very good company… he is one in a long line of procrastinators… but the good thing about the Schutz’s is that we’re functional procrastinators.

What do I mean by functional? Well, sometimes in middle school my mom would say, I need to pick you up right after school for a doctors appoint… don’t take the bus. So, after school I would sit out front of the school and watch as every other kid was picked up… and then about 30 minutes later my mom would finally arrive. How is this functional? Well… she came didn’t she? She didn’t abandon me… and somehow we always made it to our doctor’s appointments on time-ish.

Okay, that’s probably a bad example… BUT! When it comes to birth… this is where the Schutz procrastination really shines. My brother and I were both Christmas-ish due dates… but apparently, we both opted to hang out in womb-dom a little while longer… but of course, being the functional procrastinators that we are, even though late, we made sure we popped out before the New Year so our pops could cash in the tax deduction. I know! Aren’t we sweet? Totally.

For Grayson. It was cashing in a $25.00 gift certificate to Scalini’s Italian Restaurant. You see, Scalini’s in known for its eggplant plant parmesan’s labor inducing abilities. If you deliver within 48 hours of eating their eggplant parmesan you get a $25 buck gift certificate. Seriously, check it out: http://www.scalinis.com/Bambino.htm.

Anyway, Serena and I went the day after Grayson’s due date… and BAM, two days later he popped out! Now, I have to admit, there is some debate as to Grayson’s eligibility for the gift certificate since he was born at 7:17pm on February 10^th… yet we arrived at Scalini’s at 6pm on February 8^th. Technically, Grayson was sitting at 49:17 hour mark. But, Gray’s grandparents went to Scalini’s for the official call… at which time they determined that even though we arrived to the restaurant at 6pm, there was no telling when the eggplant parmesan was delivered to the table or when Serena had finished eating… or if she took a doggy bag home and finished it later. SCORE! Gray’s late, yet a winner!

And poor Gilliam… his arrival was just as nail biting. You see… I made a mistake... I listened to Eric Parker. If you ever run into a man named Eric Parker (even if he’s not the same guy) just don’t listen to him… it will save you a lot of stress. Anyway, Eric and I were talking about Christmas gifts for our wives and he said, “You know what you should get? You should get something with birthstones; birthstones are always a winner with my wife.” Of course I was like, “Huh… what a good idea.” Apparently, I had forgotten Eric was from Alabama… so I held onto his advice.

Then if things weren’t bad enough I listened to my wife, “second time mothers almost always go before their due date… there is no way this baby will go past his due date.” Lock! Designed! Ordered! And three weeks later a beautiful heart shaped birthstone pendant arrived featuring a December stone to signify both me and Serena… a February stone for Grayson… and a January stone for Gilliam. On Christmas… I gave this pendent to Serena. Then… Gilliam’s due date, January 20-ish, came and went… and went… and went… would I really have to get the pendent reset? Or should I just kept it to beat Eric over the head with next time I see him? No… relax… deep breath… Gilliam comes from a long time. He’ll come through for good old dad… and at 4:25pm, January 31^st… Gilliam came through… both literally and figuratively… all 9 pounds, 5 ounces of him.

Welcome to the world my beautiful boy!

Pops owes you one!

Day 561: The Best British Television Show EVER!

Day 561: The Best British Television Show EVER!

The other night, after looking around and realizing I was the only one in the family still awake… I only knew two things: I was tired… but I was also hungry. So, I opted to make a quick bedtime snack and of course, as I munched away I wanted watch a show. But, I wasn’t really in the mood to commit myself to a 30 minute show so I opted out of streaming something from my Netflix backlog… instead I decided to channel surf, which is something I almost never do, at least since I bought my first Tivo 5 years ago. Anyway… I can never find anything worth watching when I channel surf, so there was no fear of being sucked in… or so I thought.

What I found was a little show called “We Need Answers”. At first, it was so low budget and bizarre that it was like watching train wreck… three random hosts were introduces… followed by two celebrity contestants… train wreck… or so I thought.

When round one (“Questions and Answers”) began, I found myself laughing… then the second round, (“Him or Her”) had me in stitches… then round three (a ridiculous physical challenge) and round four (the frantic “quickfire round”) were sheer comic genius!!! The subtle brilliance of the humor amazing me and I was hooked.

But, then, at the end of the show, when the hosts made the losing celebrity clatter off the stage wearing the “red clogs of defeat” and gave the winning celebrity a plate and pate (that’s right, meat pate) dawning the “We Need Answers” Logo… I knew I was witnessing one of the greatest tv shows of all time…

Just take a look!

Classic Host disagreement within the show:

Well, don’t take my word for it… here is a clip of some of their greatest moments of 2009.

Day 557: Look Mom! I'm a Dessert Eater!

As many of you know. I am very picky about desserts. I pretty much grew up without a birthday cake… this was my own personal decision… not the result of evil parents. The biggest offender to my picky pallet is icing. I can’t stand the stuff. Pudding? It’s disgusting! Custard? Same thing! What in the world is my problem? I have no idea. I have issues. Texture issues.

I am sure kids hated coming to my birthday parties… because I much preferred cinnamon raise cake or cookie cakes over more traditional fare.

But, apparently my pallet has been wacky my entire life. At one birthday growing up I remember wanting my favorite ice cream: Breyers Mint Chocolate Chip. I remember all of the kids in attendance asking me where the chocolate or vanilla ice cream was… “Chocalate or vanilla? But we have the best ice cream in the world right here!” Needless to say… about a gallon of ice cream went to waste.

BTW: did I mention the fact that I loathe vanilla? I don’t know why… but vanilla ice cream is disgusting.

Anyway, my former and most beloved boss, Nelah, set it upon herself to find a dessert I would eat. For the birthdays of her staff she would always bring in their favorite dessert to share with the masses. With me… it proved to be a rather difficult endeavor. First, she had to figure out the things I actually like. Mint Chip Ice Cream (we did that one year)… Pecan Pie (we did that another year)… but she was always frustrated by my lack luster reactions: not cramming my face into it like Randy in The Christmas Story’s impression of a Little Piggy. I always appreciated Nelah’s efforts… but as I do anyone who tries to surprise me with a dessert… I disappoint them. I’ve a terrible person.

That is until now… Apparently, I’m British… or at least my dessert pallet is. I just can’t get enough of Minced Pies and Christmas Pudding! They are amazing! And they are most definitely cram worthy!

Day 553: A “British” Decade in Review

While celebrating New Year’s Eve in London I witnessed something extremely entertaining. BBC 1 presented a fifteen minute decade in review… yet, they couldn’t seem to find enough news worthy events to fill the time…. Sure, they included notable British happenings like Beckham’s World Cup Qualifying goal, Tony Blair’s retirement, The Queens turning 50, Prince Charles’ Remarriage, and London’s winning bid for the 2012 Olympic Games.

As well as notable American moments like the election of George W. and the hanging chads, 911, The Iraq War, and the election of Obama.

And even a couple other international events like the death of Pope John Paul II and the Tsunami.

But… they filled out the various years with some very odd choices for “note worthy happenings”, like the winner of the first “Strictly Come Dancing”, the winner of the first “I’m a Celebrity, Get Me out of Here”, and there was even a nod to the proclaimed “worst” dancer to ever compete on “Strictly Come Dancing”

Can you imagine a decade recap including Richard Hatch and the first winners of the Amazing Race. Sure… the race is amazing… but is it decade in review worthy?

Now, the inclusion on Ricky Gervais and “The Office” winning the Golden Globe was an interesting choice. At first it seemed weird… but after I let it percolate it made sense. “The Office” was the first British Series to win a major American award, I believe, so I can understand why it could be considered a milestone for the British decade.

But, in total contrast. I still can’t figure out why they included the Jamaican who broke the 50 Meter world record as the World’s Fastest Man back in 2008. They actually showed the entire race… but why? Because he has a British accent? I’m confused. He won the race representing Jamaica… not the Untied Kingdom.

Anyway, happy new year everyone!

Day 549: Mexican Food in Vienna

So… yeah… Mexican food in Europe has been something of an epic story here on SchutzHappens. And well… the story continues… this time in Vienna at a restaurant called “Kulin”. I will break it down fast for you.

1. It took a while to find.

2. They were closed for lunch.

3. We went back for dinner.

4. The service was terrible.

5. The food was gross.

I would have rather been at “Burrito Bar” in Belgrade.

End of story.

Day 545: Is John Lithgow the Best Actor on Television?

So… those of you who are near and dear know I am a complete and total Movie/TV freak.I used to be an actor, but even though I have moved onto other things in my life I am still complete obsessed with the business. But for the most part, I think I’ve been neglecting that side of myself in this blog (except for my monthly video montages… which are less about sharing our experiences with friends and family; and more about giving me a monthly geek-out fix to feel creative).

Anyway, I feel it is time to flex the entertainment side of myself and I can’t think of any greater actor to pull me back to my “true entertainment geek self” than John Lithgow.Over the past few weeks I have been catching up on episodes of Dexter, season 4 (where John Lithgow plays the season’s guest serial killer). In short, his performance has blown me away. Even though Serena refuses to watch shows like Dexter with me, I have mentioned a few times in pass about how wonderful John Lithgow’s performance is… as an actor… watching him in this role is a privilege.

Dare I say it… but I am starting to think that John Lithgow may be one of the greatest actors of his generation. But due to his eclectic career I believe his true talent and gift can be over looked… especially to those of my generation. Where do you remember first seeing John Lithgow? For me it was “Santa Claus: The Movie” and “Harry and the Hendersons”… neither of which are hallmark movies of an epic career and some folks may even label these movies as a low-part in his career. But I think Lithgow would disagree with you. As it turns out, Lithgow is a great supporter of Children’s Entertainment. Did you know that he’s published 9 children’s books and 2 children’s music albums? I didn’t either (thank you Wikipedia!). Lithgow is also known for visiting schools to read to children. All I know is as a child; I remember adoring both of those movies… and now, revisiting them with my own son the movies are successful due mainly to Lithgow’s commitment to the project.

Anyway, as I grew older I gradually became introduced to new sides of Lithgow, the actor, through Footloose, Twilight Zone, The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai, Memphis Bell, At Play in the Fields of the Lord, The World According to Garp… and finally the genius of Terms of Endearment.

Lithgow is a talent. And I think we may have lost track of it during “Third Rock from the Sun”. No that ‘Third Rock” wasn’t good, quite the opposite. Unfortunately, as American’s we seem to associate talent with dramatic roles… and for the last decade, Lithgow has been focusing on comedy. And since we tend to pigeon-hole actors into genres I think we’ve forgotten about him. I least I did. So yeah… I was taken aback by his turn on Dexter.

At first take one might think “Wow, what a departure!” But honestly, it seems like Lithgow has been working towards this role he entire life and his is knocking out it out of the park.Whether it is a drama or an outlandish comedy Lithgow always manages to make his performances believable. And on Dexter, the intensity and subtleties of his character is eerie, unsettling, and ultimately disturbing… yet at the same time, as his character hunts his prey, he can seamlessly come across as warm, genial, and sincere. And maintaining the duality of these personality traits is seamless and believable… making his overall performance simply unbelievable (in an astonishing way). This duality of his character was most evident and impressive midseason when he started having a difficult time hiding his true, psychotic, self in public environments… as Dexter says, “He’s starting to show his cracks.”

My hats off to John Lithgow… it goes without saying that you will probably win an Emmy this year for your work on Dexter. And since I have pretty much followed your career my entire life… I am very excited to see what you have in store for us next!

Day 541: Pulled Over In Serbia

So, a while back I teased everyone one with a short tag line about being pulled over for speeding in Serbia… and there has been a certain amount of interest regarding the experience.

So, yeah… I was caught in a speed trap. I know what you’re thinking… “How do you know it was a speed trap and simply caught? Well… let’s analyze the situation, shall we?

I was driving through a construction zone which was marked with a speed limit of 120 Kilometers an hour. While exiting the construction zone I evidentially missed the sign dropping the speed limit to 60 Kilometers an hour.

No, you didn’t read it wrong… the speed was dropped to 60 after the construction zone… not during the construction zone. Hmmm… and this conveniently placed reduction in speed lasted about 500 feet while rounding a bend in the road. Hmmm…. And once around the bend, there was a nice sized shoulder of the left had side of the road perfect for a couple police cars and the folks they pull over. Hmmm…

No, you’re right… I’m reading too much into it… it can’t be a speed trap.

Anyway, my experience ended up being quite pleasant, although Serena got a little panicky when I was asked to step out of the vehicle and go with the officer after I had identified myself as an American.

But I wasn’t nervous about it. I knew I had won the officer over with my flawless Serbian language skills: “да ли говерите енглески, молим вас?”

Luckily for me, he did.

He explained to the drop in the speed limit and asked if I had seen the sigh. “No, I didn’t see it.” I said is a surprised manner.

He showed me his laser speed gun showing he clocked me going 126 Kilometers an hour. “Man, I wish I had noticed the sign.” He also pointed out his laser speed gun was manufactured in the United States. He seemed to be tickled about catching an American with his American made equipment. The irony wasn’t lost on either of us.

He started asking be about my family in the car… based on my observations I find Serbian culture very family oriented and Serbian men in particular seem to have a shared soft spot for children. “Oh that’s my boy there and my wife… she’s pregnant”. “Beba?” “Da!”… the officer, with a big smile on his face, began muttering and moving his arms in circular motions as if to aid in his mental processes. “Uh… how do you say…. Uh…” “Congratulations?” “Da, yes! How do you say?” “Congratulations.” “Congratulations” “Yes, hvala.”

It was a very funny exchange. And he seemed very impressed when I told him we had been living in Belgrade for almost a year. We talked for a little while longer in a combination of English and Serbian and he found it very entertaining when I would talk about myself using words in the feminine gender form. I admit that I use the feminine form on accident the first time but I got such a jovial response from the officer that I purposefully played up the gender confusion for a while for the sake of levity. Little attempts at the language go a long way… even with the little language I have to offer.

Finally, he looked at me as said, “I spoke with my colleague” (he never actually spoke to the other officer while I was there) “and we decided to… you know…” at which time he put one hand up over his eyes as if to say, “we’ll pretend we did see you.” I gave him a smile, “Hvala” and we shared a warm handshake, he told me to slow down and be careful and to enjoy the rest of my time in Belgrade. And then I was back on the road.