Day 568: The Birth Experience, Part 2: The Hospitals

First, I should explain the London Hospital, St. John and Elizabeth’s, is not public, it is private. The UK actually has a dual system. Not unlike our education system in the States, there are public schools which guarantee everyone a certain level of education, and then there are private schools which offer more enhanced and/or targeted services for those who have the means and desire. In short, if you are going to pay for your child to go to a private school you would also expect the private school to provide a standard that exceeds what you would get for free. Private healthcare providers in the UK understand and follow this model. I can only assume that St. John and Elizabeth’s exceeds what you can get from the public option, but it also far exceeds what you can get from the private options in the States… at least what we experienced with Grayson at Northside Hospital in Atlanta, aka, “The Baby Factory”.

Northside Hospital does, on average, over 50 births a day. At the close of 2005 Northside made national headlines for breaking the world record for the number of total births in one calendar year by a single hospital… the total was 18,331 births. Yet, strangely enough, just one month and ten days after breaking this record, when we arrived to Northside to have Grayson, we were assigned a nurse who had only attended one, previous, 100% unmediated natural, child birth.

To this day, I still find the ratios astounding. Northside has a 38.3% c-section rate and what, with a nurse at the busiest birthing hospital in the world having only attended one natural birth in her career I can only assume what Northsides natural v. medicated ratios are.

Now, I am not saying that St. John and Lizzy’s (as the locals call it) doesn’t do medicated births or c-sections, the birth center is attached to a hospital after all. But as you will discover over the course of my posts, the two hospitals behaved is complete different ways regarding implementation of policy in association with the wishes of the parents.

After all, women were having babies well before the invention of the “hospital”, right?

Day 567: Go Saints!

I know, I am huge tease, aren’t I? I lay down a thick blog entry announcing an entire series on our Birth Experience… only to follow it one day later with a football post. But, come on folks, I’m still a dude and have to pay homage to the football gods today.

Some of you may know that I LOVE professional football. Not college… I like pro. Scratch that… I love pro ball. And the Falcon’s (or whoever is playing the Colts) are my teams. Why I am a pro football fan… why I am a diehard Falcon’s fan… and why I loathe the Colts? Well, it is a bit of an odd story. Sure, I am from Atlanta, so that should explain the Falcon’s… but it is a little more complicated than that… and honestly, I hated football for a long time. I spent too many years as a marching band brat being drug to countless high school and college games. And furthermore, the influence of pro ball was virtually non-existent in my house. Sure, we watched the Super Bowl from time to time, but in 1984 professional football was pretty much abandoned in my house.

Why is 1984 the year pro-football died? Well, I didn’t grow up as an Atlanta Falcon’s fan… I grew up as a Baltimore Colt fan. And in March, 1984 the Colts left Baltimore. Now, I understand and appreciate the fact that franchised move and reinvent themselves. I am sure there are some diehard Dallas Texan fans out there still burned by their move to Baltimore and subsequent name change to the Colts… but the Colts move to Indianapolis was a bit more sinister… for starters the team moved secretly in the middle of the night. The good people of Baltimore went to bed with a football team and woke up without one. Sinister.

But, when this happened we were already living in Atlanta and the situation could have been forgiven… eventually… but no… the REAL catalyst for my family turning their back on pro ball happened a couple months later during our families summer vacation and a spur of the moment stop in Canton, Ohio to visit the Football Hall of Fame.

Shortly after arriving my mother and father started to notice something very unsettling. Every plaque in the hall of fame referring to the Colts had been changed to say the Indianapolis Colts. Every player inducted into the Hall of Fame who played on the Baltimore Colts we now listed as players for the Indianapolis Colts, including Johnny Unitas. All three NFL Championships won while in Baltimore were changed to give credit to Indianapolis… and the last straw for my father was when he saw the Super Bowl V Room: Indianapolis Colts vs. Dallas Cowboys. I remember my father being very irritated and quickly ushering us out of the Hall and into the car, and from that day forward my father never casually watched another professional football game on an average Sunday afternoon ever again.

BTW, my hats off the Wikipedia, if you look at their list of Super Bowl winners; they give credit to the city the team called home at the time of the win. Why the Hall of Fame couldn’t do this, I don’t know.

And it should also be noted that Serena was born in Indianapolis. The “Indianapolis” Colts is the team she grew up rooting for… this is a sour subject in our house… but I forgive her. Some might call our love a modern day Romeo and Juliet story… but frankly, if just reminds me that nobody is perfect.

Oh, and I’ve only been inside the Indianapolis city limits once in my entire life… it was on a business trip. I had to be paid to go there. BTW, have you signed my petition to mover the Bands of America Competition to Baltimore?

Anyway, how in the world did this embittered curmudgeon learn to love professional football again?

Oddly enough, my love for pro ball was fostered in college. Apparently, young college men MUST follow football… but I went to the College of Charleston… who has no team of their own. So, for some unknown reason as the professional season of 1998 approached my roommates, Michael and Shannon, began lamenting about how they had stopped following football after they got out of the army. And it didn’t take much time to put this longing into action.

We made a household pack to pick one team and follow them religiously for the entire season win or lose. We vowed to be fanatical for the lucky team we picked. That team was the Atlanta Falcon’s. Why the Falcons? Well, Michael and Shannon were both from Charleston, South Carolina. Growing up, the closest professional teams were six hours away in Atlanta… so they grew up watching them. And of course, I was from Atlanta, so that completed the circle. Simple as that… we certainly didn’t pick the team because they were good… the Falcon’s had always been a mediocre team, during the 32 years as a franchise prior to becoming our household team, the Falcon’s had three wild card berths and one conference championship under their belt. And out of these 4 playoff bids, they never once made it past the Divisional Playoff. And it certainly wasn’t because the Falcon’s sported high profile players… because they didn’t have any.

Anyway, back to the point. For those of you who follow football, should have figured out the significance of following the Atlanta Falcon in 1998. That was the year quarterback Chris Chandler led OUR Falcons to a 14-2 season, which was a franchise record which led to a division championship, a conference championship, AND a berth in the Super Bowl. This was the first time and only time the Falcon’s have ever made it to the big game! It was a crazy year… and as the season progressed and the Falcon domination heightened, so did the level of our Sunday afternoon antics.

Shannon worked in an IT field at a very large company and had access to their AV equipment… if nothing was checked out on Friday afternoons, he would bring home a projection TV and we could project the games on one complete side of our living room, floor to ceiling. And as news of our all day bar-bq’s and insanely big screen spread... so did Falcon’s fever.

Our tailgating/pre-game festivities began to start earlier and earlier with every Falcon win. It was madness. What started as three guys looking for some way to make our Sunday’s more interesting… turned into a Super Bowl Sunday I will never forget. The grill was lit at 10am in conjunction with ESPN’s “History of the Super Bowl” coverage on the big screen and our first tailgating arrivals. The viewing party was massive… and the pot luck food spread was unbelievable… we estimated over 150 people over the course of the day crammed into our apartment.

This is why I am a crazy, foaming mouth, nut about pro-football. It was the Fall of 1998… and I know… some day… in my heart of hearts… the Falcon will one day take their rightful place and win that national championship! And I will be there ready to party!

Until then? I am to dominate my football pools… I play multiple pools and I have won every single one of them for the last two seasons… and I’m feeling a threepeat coming on! Got what it takes? I’m up for the challenge!

Enjoy your Super Bowl Sunday’s everyone! And no matter what Serena said, be sure to root for the Saints!

Day 566: The Birth Experience, Part 1

We had a myriad of strange reactions when we told people we wanted to have Gilliam in London rather than the States. Honestly, there were two key facts that laid the groundwork for our decision:

1) Serena hates flying transcontinental… and coupled with the fact that she would have to go by herself, 8 months pregnant, with a three year old in tow… plus luggage for a three month stay. Then come back by herself with a new born, a four year old, and the same luggage. Folks, Belgrade to Atlanta (and vice versa) is about a 17 hour-ish journey with a layover. It’s extremely draining when you only have to worry about yourself.

2) Serena and I have volunteered to take an unaccompanied tour and I will be moving to Pakistan later this year… simply put, we wanted to maximize the amount of time we could spend together as a family before I head off. Having them in London gave me more access to them… I can spend about two of the three months with them here… but, in Atlanta, I would have only been able to spend about six weeks.

Anyway, the idea of a much shorter flight and family togetherness seemed to strike people funny, not that it is any of their business anyway, but they couldn’t seem to understand why Serena want to go London over the States. Healthcare is so much better in the States than anywhere else in the world, right? Er… Umm… Well… couple this with the fact that London is known for being an incredibly expensive city; I guess you have a sound argument. Except that we have discovered that groceries in London are cheaper than in Belgrade… so as long as you are not obsessed with eating out, have a kitchen and know how to cook, London is actually a reasonable place to live… even for a short while… and if housing is provided, of course. :)

Well, after experiencing Grayson’s birth in the States and now, Gilliam’s in the UK, I have to say, the UK experience far outweighs the US experience. And a decision that was originally made to easy travel and contact has proven to be one of the best decisions we have ever made as a family. Our birth experience in London was nothing less than remarkable… which makes me wonder… why is a healthcare system like the UK’s so vilified in the United States?

But, don’t jump to conclusions though… I don’t intend argue for or against socialized healthcare in the United States on my blog… why would I want too? I know very little about UK’s system other than what I have experienced. Plus, I am a product of the American’s Socialized School system and I have terrible grammar, questionable spelling skills, and I look funny.

But, what I do have is a story and a family who has had two very different birth experiences, in two very different countries. The first in a system I wouldn’t wish on any new family… and the second was the way it should always be. And, I also recognize that I don’t know how normal either experience was for the county and system they occurred in… I only know what I have experienced and I would like to share.

And that is exactly what I intend to do. Over the next few days/weeks/months (whatever) I plan to share both experiences side by side from beginning to end… the Grayson Experience and the Gilliam Experience together to form one Birth Experience.

Stay tuned, “The Birth Experience” will continue…

Day 565: Welcome to the World Gilliam!

Life is just too darn exciting. Seriously people… it is so hard to believe World Nutella Day is here again. Man, the year just flew by! Oh… and it’s also hard to believe Gilliam is five days old today! How crazy is that? Only a week ago, Serena was wondering if he was going to come out at all. But, even though he is late, Gilliam is in very good company… he is one in a long line of procrastinators… but the good thing about the Schutz’s is that we’re functional procrastinators.

What do I mean by functional? Well, sometimes in middle school my mom would say, I need to pick you up right after school for a doctors appoint… don’t take the bus. So, after school I would sit out front of the school and watch as every other kid was picked up… and then about 30 minutes later my mom would finally arrive. How is this functional? Well… she came didn’t she? She didn’t abandon me… and somehow we always made it to our doctor’s appointments on time-ish.

Okay, that’s probably a bad example… BUT! When it comes to birth… this is where the Schutz procrastination really shines. My brother and I were both Christmas-ish due dates… but apparently, we both opted to hang out in womb-dom a little while longer… but of course, being the functional procrastinators that we are, even though late, we made sure we popped out before the New Year so our pops could cash in the tax deduction. I know! Aren’t we sweet? Totally.

For Grayson. It was cashing in a $25.00 gift certificate to Scalini’s Italian Restaurant. You see, Scalini’s in known for its eggplant plant parmesan’s labor inducing abilities. If you deliver within 48 hours of eating their eggplant parmesan you get a $25 buck gift certificate. Seriously, check it out: http://www.scalinis.com/Bambino.htm.

Anyway, Serena and I went the day after Grayson’s due date… and BAM, two days later he popped out! Now, I have to admit, there is some debate as to Grayson’s eligibility for the gift certificate since he was born at 7:17pm on February 10^th… yet we arrived at Scalini’s at 6pm on February 8^th. Technically, Grayson was sitting at 49:17 hour mark. But, Gray’s grandparents went to Scalini’s for the official call… at which time they determined that even though we arrived to the restaurant at 6pm, there was no telling when the eggplant parmesan was delivered to the table or when Serena had finished eating… or if she took a doggy bag home and finished it later. SCORE! Gray’s late, yet a winner!

And poor Gilliam… his arrival was just as nail biting. You see… I made a mistake... I listened to Eric Parker. If you ever run into a man named Eric Parker (even if he’s not the same guy) just don’t listen to him… it will save you a lot of stress. Anyway, Eric and I were talking about Christmas gifts for our wives and he said, “You know what you should get? You should get something with birthstones; birthstones are always a winner with my wife.” Of course I was like, “Huh… what a good idea.” Apparently, I had forgotten Eric was from Alabama… so I held onto his advice.

Then if things weren’t bad enough I listened to my wife, “second time mothers almost always go before their due date… there is no way this baby will go past his due date.” Lock! Designed! Ordered! And three weeks later a beautiful heart shaped birthstone pendant arrived featuring a December stone to signify both me and Serena… a February stone for Grayson… and a January stone for Gilliam. On Christmas… I gave this pendent to Serena. Then… Gilliam’s due date, January 20-ish, came and went… and went… and went… would I really have to get the pendent reset? Or should I just kept it to beat Eric over the head with next time I see him? No… relax… deep breath… Gilliam comes from a long time. He’ll come through for good old dad… and at 4:25pm, January 31^st… Gilliam came through… both literally and figuratively… all 9 pounds, 5 ounces of him.

Welcome to the world my beautiful boy!

Pops owes you one!

Day 561: The Best British Television Show EVER!

Day 561: The Best British Television Show EVER!

The other night, after looking around and realizing I was the only one in the family still awake… I only knew two things: I was tired… but I was also hungry. So, I opted to make a quick bedtime snack and of course, as I munched away I wanted watch a show. But, I wasn’t really in the mood to commit myself to a 30 minute show so I opted out of streaming something from my Netflix backlog… instead I decided to channel surf, which is something I almost never do, at least since I bought my first Tivo 5 years ago. Anyway… I can never find anything worth watching when I channel surf, so there was no fear of being sucked in… or so I thought.

What I found was a little show called “We Need Answers”. At first, it was so low budget and bizarre that it was like watching train wreck… three random hosts were introduces… followed by two celebrity contestants… train wreck… or so I thought.

When round one (“Questions and Answers”) began, I found myself laughing… then the second round, (“Him or Her”) had me in stitches… then round three (a ridiculous physical challenge) and round four (the frantic “quickfire round”) were sheer comic genius!!! The subtle brilliance of the humor amazing me and I was hooked.

But, then, at the end of the show, when the hosts made the losing celebrity clatter off the stage wearing the “red clogs of defeat” and gave the winning celebrity a plate and pate (that’s right, meat pate) dawning the “We Need Answers” Logo… I knew I was witnessing one of the greatest tv shows of all time…

Just take a look!

Classic Host disagreement within the show:

Well, don’t take my word for it… here is a clip of some of their greatest moments of 2009.

Day 557: Look Mom! I'm a Dessert Eater!

As many of you know. I am very picky about desserts. I pretty much grew up without a birthday cake… this was my own personal decision… not the result of evil parents. The biggest offender to my picky pallet is icing. I can’t stand the stuff. Pudding? It’s disgusting! Custard? Same thing! What in the world is my problem? I have no idea. I have issues. Texture issues.

I am sure kids hated coming to my birthday parties… because I much preferred cinnamon raise cake or cookie cakes over more traditional fare.

But, apparently my pallet has been wacky my entire life. At one birthday growing up I remember wanting my favorite ice cream: Breyers Mint Chocolate Chip. I remember all of the kids in attendance asking me where the chocolate or vanilla ice cream was… “Chocalate or vanilla? But we have the best ice cream in the world right here!” Needless to say… about a gallon of ice cream went to waste.

BTW: did I mention the fact that I loathe vanilla? I don’t know why… but vanilla ice cream is disgusting.

Anyway, my former and most beloved boss, Nelah, set it upon herself to find a dessert I would eat. For the birthdays of her staff she would always bring in their favorite dessert to share with the masses. With me… it proved to be a rather difficult endeavor. First, she had to figure out the things I actually like. Mint Chip Ice Cream (we did that one year)… Pecan Pie (we did that another year)… but she was always frustrated by my lack luster reactions: not cramming my face into it like Randy in The Christmas Story’s impression of a Little Piggy. I always appreciated Nelah’s efforts… but as I do anyone who tries to surprise me with a dessert… I disappoint them. I’ve a terrible person.

That is until now… Apparently, I’m British… or at least my dessert pallet is. I just can’t get enough of Minced Pies and Christmas Pudding! They are amazing! And they are most definitely cram worthy!

Day 553: A “British” Decade in Review

While celebrating New Year’s Eve in London I witnessed something extremely entertaining. BBC 1 presented a fifteen minute decade in review… yet, they couldn’t seem to find enough news worthy events to fill the time…. Sure, they included notable British happenings like Beckham’s World Cup Qualifying goal, Tony Blair’s retirement, The Queens turning 50, Prince Charles’ Remarriage, and London’s winning bid for the 2012 Olympic Games.

As well as notable American moments like the election of George W. and the hanging chads, 911, The Iraq War, and the election of Obama.

And even a couple other international events like the death of Pope John Paul II and the Tsunami.

But… they filled out the various years with some very odd choices for “note worthy happenings”, like the winner of the first “Strictly Come Dancing”, the winner of the first “I’m a Celebrity, Get Me out of Here”, and there was even a nod to the proclaimed “worst” dancer to ever compete on “Strictly Come Dancing”

Can you imagine a decade recap including Richard Hatch and the first winners of the Amazing Race. Sure… the race is amazing… but is it decade in review worthy?

Now, the inclusion on Ricky Gervais and “The Office” winning the Golden Globe was an interesting choice. At first it seemed weird… but after I let it percolate it made sense. “The Office” was the first British Series to win a major American award, I believe, so I can understand why it could be considered a milestone for the British decade.

But, in total contrast. I still can’t figure out why they included the Jamaican who broke the 50 Meter world record as the World’s Fastest Man back in 2008. They actually showed the entire race… but why? Because he has a British accent? I’m confused. He won the race representing Jamaica… not the Untied Kingdom.

Anyway, happy new year everyone!