Day 582: The Birth Experience, Part 7: St. John & Lizzies Hospital Tour

Now, as this story continues to drag on worse than a James Cameron film, you’ll find our experiences with St. John and Lizzies, in London, was the polar opposite than that in Atlanta. The first, remarkable difference was the hospital tour. It was actually conducted by one of the hospital’s midwives, rather than “The Love Boats” own Julie McCoy.

And of course, the tone of the tour was completely different since the woman giving the tour was also one of the women who actually deliver the babies. Completely intuitive to our desires, she guided us through the various services at our disposal in the delivery room. She showed us not only the bed, but also the birthing tub, the floor mats, and the enormous beanbag pillows. Our “tour guide” never once made an assumption as to how Serena would give birth, but simply focused on her options, always adding the phrase, “which ever you prefer,” to her sentences. Furthermore, the midwives reminded us to call ahead when we were on our way so they could fill the birth tub just in case and also introduced us to their aroma theory and music options. The tour was a very welcome change.

Also worth noting was the absence of IV trees or fetal heart rate monitors in the delivery rooms… at least from what I noticed.

Day 581: Making Children Cry

I passed a kid on the street today who was wearing an Indianapolis Colts hat. Who knew making a little British kid cry would be so emotionally gratifying?

Day 580: The Birth Experience, Part 6: Atlanta and the Northside Tour

Continuing our saga, by the time Serena moved back to Atlanta, she knew she wanted a 100% unmediated natural childbirth. So, from the moment of her arrival, it became very important for us to start putting our team together. For our first round draft pick we needed a doctor… or rather a midwife. And Serena quickly identified a practice of midwives that fit our team perfectly. Plus, the practice was co-founded by one of the best natural childbirth OB’s in the Atlanta area. In short, we were in very good hands.

One very humorous fact about this practice is their main client base. As a result of their dedication to natural childbirth, they mainly serve the Latin community in Atlanta and when attending appointments it was not abnormal for us to be the only folks who spoke English in the waiting room. This Latin Natural Birth connection would be an interesting sociological study.

Anyway, the practice was perfect except for one issue. They only had hospital rights at Northside. And although we had heard rumors about Northside, it wasn’t until our hospital tour that we realized what we were walking into. The tour was very, how shall I put it?… rehearsed. “Rehearsed” is a good way to describe it. If you can imagine a cruise ship activates coordinator giving a tour of a hospital then you will have a clear picture of what it was like.

Furthermore, the tour was not really about what the hospital had to offer us, the patient, or rather, the paying customer… it was more like a class in the Northside way of childbirth. Masked under an overly perky delivery, the tour was very direct in its specifics, “You will go here… we will do this… you will lay here… so we can do this…” No, they were setting the tone of authority and how they wanted to handle it. There was no other option than laying on your back, with an IV in your arm, hooked up to a fetal monitor, with theatre lights shining in your face. The post birth portion of the tour relied heavily on, “this is where we’ll take your baby while you rest” and “these are the things we’ll do to the baby after the birth.” There was never a tone of, “If you wish, we can do this or that because it’s your birth.”

There was also quite a lengthy presentation on pain management options. At one point the guide asked if anyone was planning a scheduled c-section… we were the only couple without a raised hand. The experience was very odd and personally, it led me to start asking the same questions Serena had been researching for months and ultimately I jump on her band wagon… if we were going to have the kind of birth Serena wanted… we were going to work for it.

Day 579: Gilliam’s Citizenship

Oh, another thing people keep asking us is if Gilliam will be a dual citizen, both American and British, since he was born in the UK. The answer is, “not really”.

On paper, the answer is “no.”

Unlike the United States, the UK does not recognize location of the birth as a factor in citizenship. So, the mere fact that he was born in London does not mean anything to the Brits. Citizenship, at birth, is solely related to the parents. Since neither Serena nor I are British subjects, neither is Gilliam.

But, that being said, we have heard that down the road, when Gilliam is an adult, if he wishes to apply for British citizenship, it wouldn’t be too hard for him to get it due to the fact he was born here.

Who knows really… I’ll let you know what Gilliam decides to do in eighteen years.

Day 578: The Birth Experience, Part 5: Naming the Next Leaders of Our Fine Land

People often ask me, “how did you come up with the names Grayson and Gilliam? Are they family names? What is the significance?” Well, as all Schutz Happenings, it’s a bit of a long story.

With Grayson, it all started with his middle name: Oliver. Oliver Bounds was my mother’s father. He was one heck of a guy, great sense of humor, and loved his grandchildren (all 25+ of them). For some reason, a long time ago, I became fixated with naming my future son, Oliver. When Serena got pregnant, I expressed this wish and, although it wasn’t her first choice, Oliver quickly became slated as our boy’s middle name. From there, the quest for a first name began, which wasn’t easy. We actually picked our girls name very quickly: Gracie Rene… but we just couldn’t seem to figure out a first name that flowed with Oliver… and that flow was very important to us… his name had to roll off our tongues. And… we just couldn’t seem to find anything we liked. So we turned to the name we loved, “Gracie”… and started dreaming up male variations. Every variation imaginable except for Grayson… then FINALLY, a few days before Gray’s gender ultrasound Serena woke up with an idea. She woke me from my slumber, “Huh, what?” She looked at my dead in the eye, “Grayson”. I thought for a second and said it out loud, “Grayson Oliver.” I smiled, “it’s perfect.” A few days later, I wasn’t able to attend the ultrasound, but when Serena called to reveal the results she said, “We’re having a Grayson.” I was ecstatic.

In the end, I loved having Grayson’s name picked out so early. I know some people like to wait… or feel the need to see the baby in order to pick out a name… but I think a name is a much deeper and personal thing… as a father, not having the emotional connection of actually carrying the baby, having the name gave me something to bond with as I prepared to become a father. When Grayson was finally born, it wasn’t like, “Oh my God, I’m a father now, and I must name you. We will call you Grayson.” No, it was more like, “Grayson, it is so wonderful to finally get to hold you.” Watching Serena call him by name seconds after he was born was a beautiful moment that I will never forget.

So, with Gilliam… I really felt it was important, Grayson and I, to have a name pick out prior to the gender ultrasound again, so we could start bonding with a name. And we almost didn’t make it. In fact, we didn’t have any names picked out in time for Serena’s first gender ultrasound… luckily it was inconclusive, and as a result we became convinced we were having a girl. But, to this day, we still haven’t agreed on a girl’s name… so thank God we had a boy… but we still cut it close with Gilly, picking out his name just a couple days before his second ultrasound.

Now, to begin with a boy we decided to go the same route as Grayson Oliver, by picking a family name as his middle name and then something a bit more unique as a first name. So, in the spirit of “Oliver” we started by looking at the other three great-grandfathers: Finas, Vernon, and Wilbert… umm… er… huh… When that didn’t work out, we decided to see if these three fine gentlemen had kickin’ middle names: Finas Garland, Vernon Ferdinand, and Wilbert James.

Yes, you didn’t read that incorrectly, my father’s father was named Vernon Ferdinand. Ferdinand is a Schutz family name… apparently… which I might wish to revisit if we have a third boy at some point… but for now… we were not prepared to name our child “Ferdinand”.

Plus, to my grandfather’s credit, when he was confirmed he took the name St. James, and quickly adopted James as his new middle name dropping Ferdinand forever. Incidentally, my brother and I discovered this only a few years ago while researching our family tree. The farther we went back, we lost track of our grandfather in the census records, but we had found an entry for Vernon F. Schutz a couple times… this mystery last about a year and finally, around the tenth time we had this confusing conversation about “Vernon F.” in the presence of our father, he finally chimed in, “Vernon F.? That’s my dad. You didn’t know his real middle name was Ferdinand?” .

Anyway, back to Gilliam. Since, essentially, two of Gilliam’s great-grandfather’s had James has their middle names… plus his grandfathers are named Wilbert James, V and Vernon James, Jr… AND the fact that my brother’s name is James Edward and Serena’s brother is Wilbert James, VI… “James” quickly became the front runner as our useable family name… so, now it was a question of a proper first name.

But what? We tried every name known to man… and honestly, I was pushing for “Drake”. Why “Drake”? Well simple: when Dick Grayson stopped working with Batman to become Nightwing, Timothy Drake took over the vacant role as Robin. We could have two Robbins! Brilliant! But, I am sure you’ve already figured out how that conversation went.

Anyway, we finally found the name Gilliam, oddly enough, while watching Adam Sandler’s “Bedtime Stories”… and we both like the name: “Gilliam James”… it certainly flowed… and then a couple days later… the gender ultrasound. It’s a boy!

Guess what Grayson? We’re having a Gilliam. And he was ecstatic.

Day 577: The Birth Experience, Part 4: Health Insurance

When we walked away from our physician in Nashville it didn’t make much sense for Serena to find another doctor there… only to leave a couple months later to move to Atlanta. So, the decision was made to push up her move… which lead to a certain amount of complications.

You see, Serena and I were not legally married at the time, so when she left her job in Nashville she would also be walking away from her health insurance… pregnant… without any health insurance. Our original plan was for Serena to stay in Nashville until around Christmas time, at which time we would float her Cobra insurance for a month or two until she had Grayson. But, when we pushed up her move from December to September, the out of pocket cost for Cobra was simply too much. We could float a month or two… but not five or six months.

We weighed our options and decided to move forward with the move without insurance.

But, for fun, I decided to challenge my insurance provider a little with a very pointed phone call. First, I ask what kind of coverage Serena would get if we got married right away. They informed me she would get full coverage except for the pregnancy. “You won’t cover the pregnancy?” “No, sir, the pregnancy is a preexisting condition.” WHAT? You have to be kidding me.

Composure. Time for some fun.

“Okay, then I would like to just cover the baby.”

“Once the baby is born you can submit---“

“No, I would like to cover the baby now, can you help me add him to my policy.”

“Sir, we cannot add the baby to your policy until it is born.”

“Why?”

“We can’t cover the baby until the baby is alive.” The woman on the phone actually used the word “alive”… with was very unfortunate for her.

“But he is alive.”

“Sir, but your child has not been born.”

“Sure, but we can’t have an abortion either. The United States Government considers my baby a life, why aren’t you? Since he is a life, I am his father, born or not, and I wish to cover him with my insurance.”

I know, I know… this is a very brutal argument… but I do feel very strongly about this issue. As a society, if we are going to take the time to define when a life begins, that decision should be binding. If a life begins before birth, then dang it, insurance companies should honor the unborn child as a dependent.

In the end?

“Sir, we do not consider your baby to be alive until it has been born.”

“Does the birth need to be vaginally or c-section?” (That’s right! I ended on one last dig!)

So, the big question is this… what was I trying to accomplish by my challenge? In a perfect world… a utopian world that only exists in my mind, Blue Cross/Blue Shield would have offered to cover Grayson’s birth, which means, by default they would cover Serena only for the birth… but under one very harsh condition:

I would sign a promissory note. After the birth a paternity test would be performed. If for whatever reason Grayson was not mine, I would becomes responsible for all birth expenses. And of course, when the paternity test determines Grayson is mine, BC/BS would take care of everything as they should.

Anyway, if you haven’t glazed over by now and aren’t drooling on your keyboards, I bet you are wondering what happened next. Well, since Serena was pregnant, unmarried and unemployed when she moved to Atlanta she qualified for Medicaid. Seriously… but that only lasted for a couple months and it helped up bridge the gap. Ultimately, through the temp agency Serena was working for, she was offered a permanent part-time position. Serena demanded the guy wanting to hire her pay for her Cobra insurance (on top of her hourly wage). He agreed. I was amazed.

Day 576: Mardi Gras

In honor of Mardi Gras I thought I would take an opportunity to gloat about New Orleans’s Super Bowl victory.

Okay, now that the gloating is over, I would like to tip my have to New Orleans in another way. By, praising Disney’s new film, “The Princess and the Frog”. Now, I see a lot of movies… before kids, I used to go to the movies at least once a week… but now? Well… I’ve only been to the theatre a handful of times in the last twelve months… and most of the time they are to see children’s movies with Grayson… some good, some okay, some not so good. But, in the realm of children’s movies, “The Princess and the Frog” is excellent. It was an interesting balance of Tennessee Williams, August Wilson, and Classic Walt Disney. Two thumbs up

In my movie geek opinion, if Pixar’s “Up” wasn’t in the running for the “Best Animated Film” Oscar, “The Princess and the Frog” would be the hands down winner. The positive press surrounding the film is warranted. Gone are the days of Brother Bear… This is a solid film with a solid script, more reminiscent of how Disney used to make films.

It borrows a lot of elements and is pretty self aware about it, even including the classic “Frog Prince” fable, which wasn't just a theme skirted around, but a major story element front and center. It was complete with John Goodman’s character being called “Big Daddy” and shouting “Stella” at the top of his lungs… it was a cheap joke, but still made me laugh. On the other hand, it’s homage to jazz-era New Orleans was beautiful and Terrance Howard (from Hustle and Flow) should teach classes in voice acting. His cameo as the hard working father who is motivated only by his love for his family was moving. And the more classic Disney elements like the Jazz trumpet playing Gator and the Cajan, Zydico playing, Fireflies reminded me of “Jungle Book”… while also capturing a love story reminiscent to “Cinderella”.

For my friends with kids, this is a must see movie.

For my friends without kids who follow movies, I would recommend giving this one a view… it’s not a skipable children’s movie.