Day 591: The Birth Experience - Grayson's Delivery, 2

Even though I give Northside a very hard time, Grayson’s birth ended up being exactly what we wanted. But we had to work for it.

I have the feeling most women who deliver at Northside intending to have a natural childbirth end up with some sort of medical or surgical intervention. And I think this trend leads their staff to being very unsupportive regard going natural. Like our nurse, whose attitude wasn’t exactly, “I hate natural births,” was more like, “A natural childbirth? Isn’t that cute… why don’t we go ahead and run an IV for later… just in case… when you fail.” And while their attitude might be a product of the hospitals failure rate… their failure rate is probably directly linked to their unsupportive attitude. It’s very vicious circle.

But, when Serena showed herself as the real deal… our nurse eventually jumped on board. And when it was all over privately congratulated Serena and expressed the honor she felt being a part of such a bad ass birth.

However, shortly after Grayson’s delivery the Northside machine started rolling again. We were handed off to a new set of nurses and we had to sign more waiver forms when we told them we wanted to delay Grayson’s weighing, measuring, and bath so we could bond. We only wanted about an hour. And after meeting with the Hospital’s head nurse we got that hour… but staff did not vacate our room… they watched over us like hawks.

Finally, at the end of the hour, I informed the nurse that we were ready for Grayson’s bath. She gave me a ton of attitude and said, “What, now you want our services?” I calmly said, “Yes, thank you,”… and then complimented her lovely mustache.

But, the damage had been done, in that hour; Grayson had been labeled a “dirty baby” hospital wide.

Day 590: The Birth Experience – Grayson’s Delivery

By the time we arrived at Northside to deliver Grayson, Serena had already been in labor for most of the day, probably around 14 hours. But the day had been very pleasant. We took walks, baths, ate pizza, and most importantly, baked cookies. For some reason, Serena had been obsessed with the idea of baking cookies while in labor to keep her mind focused… and she did… they were some of the best peanut butter cookies I’ve ever had.

I just wish our arrival at Northside has been as pleasant as the rest of our day had been. Frankly, our arrival was very bizarre. Reception behaved as if they had never seen a woman in active labor before. Saying things like “Is she okay?” and “She’s in labor… now?” Comically, in a Hospital that delivers 50+ babies a day, Serena was the only mother-to-be, out of ten in the waiting room, who was in active labor.

And of course, Northside reception did not disappoint. They lost all of our preregistration paper work… “She’s in labor now? Well, we’re going to need her paper work before we can let her deliver.” Seriously folks… I had to fill out all the paper work again, while my wife put on quite the show… probably reaffirming most choices for a scheduled c-section.

When they finally called us back to the very bright and surgical feeling delivery room we found more paperwork waiting with our assigned nurse… and questions… tons of personal questions like, “are you HIV positive” and “are you an IV drug user”… .

Finally, as Serena and the nurse began to argue over fetal heart rate monitors, IV connections, and hospital gowns… Serena bore down on one hell of a contraction and screamed at the nurse, “No cookies for you!”

Day 589: Tips to Live By

Trusting a Hutt is also a poor choice. And lifetime of poor choices always ends with Rancor monster.

Day 588: Olympic Coverage – Sliding Sports

So, I’ve been sledding in the Alps. I don’t mean to brag… but it’s something that I have done… and it’s really run… and it’s pretty difficult. If traditional slope sledding was in the Olympics, it would be extremely impressive. But, instead… we have the trifecta of boring: Bobsled, Luge, and Skeleton. Now, I’m not saying these sports aren’t dangerous. As we all know, sliding sports are very dangerous… but so is Russian Rolette and that isn’t an Olympic Sport. I know, it’s a brutal comparison and I thought about omitting it… but it articulates my opinion in the matter beautifully. These games don’t seem to need a lot of skill to play and the players have very little control over the outcome. They just slide down a tube of ice and hope they go really fast. I’m just saying sliding sports, as a whole, seem so be less about skill and more about overcoming fear, not unlike skydiving and bungee jumping.

For this reason I would expect to see more Curlers opting for the more lucrative sliding sports… its basic physics, right? The more mass you have… the faster you’ll slide down hill… covered in a sheet of ice. After all… remember the American team as a tendency to recruit football players to fill out their four man bobsled team… why? Because they are skilled bobsledders? Or because they can run fast for a quick start and have a lot of mass to aid in getting a faster time? Oh wait… maybe they are skilled bobsledders after all.

Street luge is where it’s at ladies and gentlemen. Head to head races down streets where they cannot utilize rounded corners to help in banking turns.

Here is an idea… let’s turn the luge into a fear factor event. Participates have to correct flags on their way down the track. The racer with the most flags and fastest time wins!

Day 587: Olympic Coverage – Cross-Country Skiing

Seriously folks, I am deeply concerned for Cross-Country Skiing as a whole. While watching the very treacherous 2x15 Kilometer (Standard and Freestyle) I was inundated by an overly dramatic announcer saying things like, “This event is suicidal” or “Can you believe it?” It was all very dramatic.

Now, before I continue, I must admit, that I firmly believe Cross-Country Skiers are the most impressive over all athletes in the Winter Olympics. They are incredible… but apparently, they are also incredibly dim. Eight people did not finish this race. Three of whom were internationally ranked and were considered to be medal contenders. And the three of them actually led the race for a while… but alas… they could not keep up their own pace. Their pace was so unrealistic that they dropped out of the race! Does anyone else find this concerning? Olympic athletes not knowing how to pace themselves? I don’t know about you guys, but if I’m going to enter an event in the Olympics, I’m going to make sure I’ve done it before from beginning to end. Shouldn’t a racer of this level know their limits in order to complete a race successfully?

Incidentally, all 88 competitors competing in the Men’s 20 Kilometer Biathlon completed their race. Apparently, the excitement of firing a gun is enough for some athletes to push through the pain.

Anyway, I kind of wish the American’s were more competitive in Cross-Country Skiing… but you know how it is… why ski when you can drive? When will NASCAR we part of the Olympics?

Day 586: Olympic Coverage - Curling

I think it’s pretty obvious that I champion the rights of pregnant women… but I am a little perplexed by Kristie Moore, the Canadian Curler, who is competing in Vancouver five and a half month pregnant. Now, I am definitely not questioning Kristie’s right to participate while pregnant in the games… but I can’t help but question Curling’s validity of an Olympic sport when its participants can be five and a half month pregnant and still be considered to be in Olympic level physical condition.

Coupled with this, has anyone noticed what many of the non-prego female curlers have been wearing on the ice? It’s pretty hard not to notice because they are wearing black mini-skirts. Seriously, in 1988, when curling first made its Olympic debut in Calgary I thought it was pretty boring… but now? It definitely has my attention… I don’t know what the object of the game is, but apparently inappropriately dressed women are required to roll around on the ice. How this sport hasn’t taken off in the States I will never know.

Now, Curling freely admits that it is not a sport of intense physical conditioning… it is more of a strategic sport of skill and accuracy… like bowling, shuffleboard, bocce ball, horseshoes and lawn darts… incidentally, none of which are Olympic Sports… but maybe they should be. Depending, of course, on the average hemline of the athletes uniforms.

Day 585: Olympic Coverage, Part 2

So, this is my first Olympic viewing experience outside of the United States… and it’s been… well… educational to say the very least.

The first lesson is this: Europeans enjoy different sports than American’s. Actually, scratch that, most of the world enjoy different sports than American’s. But this shouldn’t be a big surprise, right? After all, I’m sure we all know America’s national sport, Baseball, only ranks 7th in worldwide sports viewership, with about 500 million fans. Or maybe you don’t know. What in the world could be more popular than Baseball? Well, I will tell you:

1. Futbal/Soccer, there is no secret that American’s are way behind the 8-ball when it comes to accepting soccer as a legitimate sport. But, with an estimated 3.3 – 3.5 billion fans worldwide, we’re not just behind the 8-ball, but completely out of touch with reality.

2. Cricket, with an estimated 2 – 3 billion fans worldwide, I would assume I could find one person to explain the rules of this sport to me… but alas… I must run in the wrong circles.

3. Field hockey, no… not Ice Hockey… FIELD Hockey rakes 3rd with 2 – 2.2 billion fans worldwide.

4. Tennis, with 1 billion fans.

5. Volleyball, with 900 million fans.

6. Table tennis (ping pong), also with around 900 million fans.

That right folks, table tennis, the Olympic sport that prompts every American to ask the question, “but why?” is more popular than Baseball.

So, that being said, it shouldn’t surprise you that I’ve seen more Ski Jumping this year than Figure Skating.

In fact, Figure Skating is only aired live here, which is around two or three in the morning London time… yet Ski Jumping, Biathlon, and Cross Country Skiing isn’t just aired live, but also repeated during the day… in it’s entirety. This includes all qualification rounds and final rounds.

I’ve seen entire qualification rounds of ski jumping multiple times. I watched the entire 2x15 Kilometer Men’s Cross Country Skiing Pursuit competition without interruption… yet, I’ve only seen about two complete Figure Skating performances. The afternoon after the Figure Skating Pair’s medals were awarded the 24 hours coverage we’ve been “enjoying” in London dedicated a thirty minute block to Figure Skating… as you can imagine, 30 minutes was really only enough time to show the three medal winning couples… nothing else. It was sad.

I want my NBC.

But there is a silver lining. I plan on joining a Ski Jumping fantasy league next year… it’s going to be sweet!