Day 800: The Smell of First Impressions

First impressions are very important, right?  First impressions set the initial tone for every journey. 

Upon arriving in Belgrade, as soon as I stepped off the plane I was overcome with the stench of stale cigarette smoke… and coming up the gang way, the first thing I saw inside Nikola Tesla Airport was a ‘no smoking’ sign.  I found the combination of smell and visual very funny and this will always be my first impression of Belgrade.

However, arriving in Islamabad was a little different.  We didn’t exit across a gang way directly into the airport… and enclosed space like a gang way is excusable when it comes to random smells when entering new lands.  But no, in Islamabad we exited to the tarmac.  And as soon as I stepped out of the bulkhead doors into the early morning air, I was hit with another overwhelmingly pungent aroma: 

Urine.    

That’s right.  Urine… outside… where there was plenty of ventilation.  I knew at that moment I was in for a very long year.

And no… I didn’t see a ‘no peeing’ sign… If I had, it would have been the most hilariously awesome thing I’ve ever seen in my life.

Day 799: Meetings, The Practical Alternative to Work

A friend sent this and I had to share!

Day 798: Where the Hell is Matt?... In Pakistan!

Over the summer I profiled the website www.wherethehellismatt.com.  The website profiles Matt, a guy who dedicates his spare time to ‘dancing badly around the world’.  I love this guy!  And I find his videos strangely moving.

Anyway, about a week before I landed in Islamabad, Matt was in Karachi filming for his 2010 video!  And the local papers picked up the story:

http://tribune.com.pk/story/27976/this-matters/

Even if you don’t have the patience to read the whole article, please scroll down to the bottom and read the user comments.  They are all so polite and supportive!  Hmmm… maybe the 1^st World could stand to learn something from the 3^rd World after all.

I’m just sayin’

Peace Out!

Day 797: A Very Potter : The Sequel

Oh good gravy!  A year later they made a sequel!  This is Hilarious!  It’s a Sequel!  Please note: the whole show is posted on youtube!

Day 796: Harry Potter the Musical

Okay, so I don’t know how I missed this, but back in 2009 the folks from the University of Michigan produced a play called: ‘Harry Potter: The Musical’.  The whole show is posted on youtube!


Hilarious!

Day 795: ‘Mad As Hell’ Day!!!!

Oh man.  I love it!  Yes!  I am ‘Mad as Hell’ AND I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!

It’s ‘Mad as Hell’ Day!  Hurray!  And we’re not simply mad for the sake of being mad like Old Man Withers next door who still won’t give back my ball!  This is focused anger and rage against the airline industry!

These people feel my pain: http://www.madashellabouthiddenfees.com/

For those of you living outside the world of the Foreign Service you will probably understand my frustration… and for those of you inside the Foreign Service, I am sure you can share in my misery.

In the last 4 years I have probably paid about $1,000 in excess baggage fees.  Most of the time these fees add up because I am combining Official and Personal… I’ll paint you a picture using my transition from Belgrade to Islamabad as an example.

Normally when people change posts they are eligible for ‘Home Leave’ which means they get a ticket home, which in my case is Atlanta.  However, due to the status of my appointment in Islamabad and some loophole in the regulations, I was not eligible for ‘Home Leave’, so my Official Travel would only take me as far as Washington, DC.

Of course, this didn’t mean I couldn’t take vacation time… it just meant I had to fund the rest of my trip home myself.  No big whoop.  If I was going to spend a year away from my family, you know I wasn’t going to leave without spending some time at the beach and visiting the folks.

So, I booked a flight from DC to Charleston and Atlanta to DC.

Now, before I continue… I will reiterate: during this trip, I was not only moving from Belgrade to Islamabad permanently, but I was also going on vacation AND reporting to Washington, DC for training and consultations.  Needless to say, I needed a wide assortment of clothing… plus, it normally takes a month or two after arriving at a new post before your airfreight shipment arrives (which contains the majority of my cloths, kitchen supplies, electronics… everything else).  In short, I needed to pack everything I needed to survive for a couple months… plus presents for the family. 

I ended up with three bags.

Leaving Belgrade, Lufthansa charged me 55 Euros to fly my third bag from Belgrade to Frankfurt to Washington.  This is roughly $75 to move my bags about 4723 miles… $0.015 per mile.  Where I come from… this is what we call a ‘deal’!

After spending the night in Washington, I went back to Dulles International Airport for my flight to Charleston, SC.  United charged me $160.00 in excess baggage fees!  For this 452 mile trip I was paying $0.35 per mile.  $0.35 per mile might not sound like much… but it obviously adds up.  And let me give you another number: United’s fees were 23.3 times higher than Lufthansa! 

Then, on my return trip, from Atlanta to Washington, DC, Delta charged me $100.00!!!  This was a little better than United, but it was still $0.185 per mile.  12.3 times higher than Lufthansa.

In addition, to cut down on excess baggage fees, before leaving Washington to go back overseas, I shipped four boxes to post (1 to me in Islamabad and 3 to Serena in Belgrade).  This cost me mere $55.00.  A fraction compared to what I already paid.

Total out of pocket expenses: $390.00

Could I have avoided these fees?  Yes, I guess I could have packed lighter… however, it’s been three months since I left Belgrade… and I still haven’t received my air freight shipment.  For three months, I’ve been living out of those three suitcases.  When I look at the things I packed… I cannot identify one thing I could have gone without for this length of time.  So the real question in this:

‘Is it worth $130 per month to have my stuff?’

I guess… but I really didn’t have a choice now did I?

Any tax accountants out there?  Can I write this off as an unreimbursed moving expense?

Of and speaking of taxes, correct me if I am wrong, but these fees are nothing more than a tax loophole scam, right?  I don’t believe excess baggage fees, meal fees, or rebooking/transfer fees have to be recorded as general revenue, which is why the airlines aren’t lumping these fees into their ticket prices.  Basically, by keeping these ‘extra services’ separate they are able to maximize their earning potential while minimizing their tax liability.

Day 794: The Handshake

So, if you read yesterday’s post about my bidding woes, you’re probably wondering what in the world happened as a result of my #1 choice, Paramaribo, being removed from my list... without my permission!


Well, I’ll tell you.  But first I need to share a couple things I’ve learned in my short time with the Foreign Service:


1)  There are no rules… there is only interpretation of rules and folks tend to make things up as they go.  


2)  No one really cares about you.  If you’re not going to be an advocate for yourself… then you should just go home.


Now, I’m not saying these things because I like to be difficult or cause problems… it’s just true.  It’s no different than when I called AT&T to cancel my cell phone service before moving to Belgrade.  The first person I spoke with wanted to charge me an early termination fee to cancel my phone lines.  So, I hung up.  The second person wanted to charge me again.  So I hung up.  The third person said ‘You are a loyal customer and we’d hate to lose you.  I’m sure you’ll be coming back to the States periodically, have you heard of our Military Suspension Program?  You are eligible for it.’  GOLD!  Sign me up!


In short… the answer is out there.  If there is a solution to a problem that seems reasonable, it probably exists… you just have to talk to the right person.


So, when Paramaribo disappeared from my list and when most people would have picked a new #1… I rallied.  


I contacted Washington and started asking them very pointed questions:


“Why was Paramaribo taken from our list when there were six active bidders?”


“Did you know two of the six bidders are currently serving in Pakistan and are supposed to be given priority bidding?  Do you know where the other four bidders are currently serving?”  - I wasn’t lying, there were two bidders from Pakistan… a friend of mine was bidding Paramaribo a her #2.


 “Shouldn’t employees coming out of the big three posts be given the courtesy of bidding uninterrupted on their top picks?   If this is what the department means by priority bidding, I find the process very disheartening.”


Yeah, I milked it.  And you know what happened?  Washington contacted me.  They said, ‘Listen, we’ll contact Paramaribo.  If they’re willing to offer you a handshake immediately, it’s yours… if not, it’s going to an entry level candidate.’  It was obvious they wanted to shut me up.


And what do you think happened?  Hmmm… let’s role play.  I’ll be Paramaribo and you can be Washington.


Me: So, let me get this straight.  I have the choice between a middle career candidate who I have already talked to and like, who has a strong resume I’ve already read, who actually WANTS to come to Paramaribo.  Or!  I could pick an unknown entry level candidate who’s forced to come to Paramaribo.  


You: That is correct.


Me:  Hmmmm… let me think about this for a--- We’ll take JohnPaul.


Match, point, handshake.


We’re going to Paramaribo!