Day 923: Jetlag… There’s Just No Winning, Part 2

So, yesterday I shared with you my jetlag combat ritual.  A ritual that has been highly successful in helping me adjust to major time zone changes quickly.  However, in early January, when I returned to Islamabad, I realized that I had completely overlooked a very important component to my method.

In short… it doesn’t work unless you’re tired.

You see… whenever I travel long distances I always seem to lose a day, or, since I’m not known for sleeping on planes, I normally end a trip suffering from some level of sleep deprivation.  So… for the most part, my rally to stay awake ritual is very effective.

However, during my flight from Istanbul to Islamabad… I slept.  Since there wasn’t really an in-flight entertainment, I threw my headphones on I pretty much fell asleep after dinner… through our layover in Abu Dhabi… and all the way to Islamabad.  Now… I’m not going to say that I slept well… the seats were incredible uncomfortable and I was constantly adjusting my position… but for the most part I slept.

Funny enough, I was so out of it while on the Abu Dhabi tarmac that I have no recollection of the passengers bound for Abu Dhabi disembarking.  And furthermore, I didn’t even know when the new passengers bound for Islamabad started boarding… at least at first.  I wouldn’t have known at all if some inconsiderate slob hadn’t waked me up.

I had a bulkhead seat and I had slumped down with my legs crossed against the wall in front of me… sleeping.  I still don’t know what this guy’s problem was… but you’ll probably like how this side note ends… I can only assume, while boarding, he accidently went down the wrong aisle and needed to cut back across (an assumption I ended up being wrong about)… but instead of cutting through one of the flight crew workstations (like a normal person) he decided to cut through the bulkhead row...  where I was sleeping.  And instead of politely stepping over my legs or saying excuse me (like a normal person), this guy just plowed through me.  I woke to the sensation of falling as my crossed leg fell to the floor, like a ‘bump’ from the movie ‘Inception’… and… are you ready for this?  Without a thought… running on pure instinct and a certain amount of compulsion… I shouted “EXCUSE YOU!”  This is something I wouldn’t normally have done… but I was too tired to care… and more importantly, too tired to be embarrassed.  And then with great flare, I re-crossed my legs and went back to sleep.

About two minutes later I was woken up with the same man standing over me saying ‘Excuse me, sir.”  And I politely removed my legs from his path.  I’m still not sure what he needed to cross back in front of me… but 

at least he said excuse me.  Right?

Anyway, the actual point to my post has nothing to do with that guy… just the fact that I slept on the plane.  I guess I slept a lot because even though my back was killing me when I arrived, I wasn’t very tired.  But I was VERY hungry… and so, true to form, after I got home I ordered some food (Chicken Karahi, yummy, yummy), unpacked, skyped with Serena and the boys, and finally curled up on the couch to watch a few movies… and then, around 10pm… my normal bed time (I have to get 8 hours of sleep or I’m no good to anyone), I moved from the couch to the bed... however… I couldn’t fall asleep.  I couldn’t fall asleep until around 2am.

Incidentally, Islamabad is only 4 hours east of Belgrade… oddly enough… this is the first time I’ve EVER gone 4 hours east.  I’ve gone three hours east twice and I don’t remember it being an issue… but, then again, I was in middle school at the time.  But now?  4 hours east?  Falling asleep at 2am in Islamabad?  Well… I guess it was 10am in Belgrade, but that wasn’t much of a comfort.

And remember what I said yesterday about it normally taking one day per time zone change to adjust?  Yeah… not this time.  One 2am bedtime turned into two days… which turned into 4 days… and when I finally fell asleep I was so tired that I had trouble waking up in time for work.  4 days turned in 8 days… and finally… on day 10… I couldn’t take it anymore… I was desperate… when I got home from work on day 10 I took a Benadryl.  It was all I had… I’m not proud of my method and I certainly wouldn’t recommend it… but it worked.  I fell asleep at 10pm and I’ve been regular ever since. 

And just to offer a comparison… it only took me eight days to adjust to the 11 hour time difference from Washington, DC when I first arrived in Pakistan.

I don’t know what to tell you folks… 6 or 11 hours might sound horrible… but 4 hours is the worst.  I would much rather be deliriously tired at the end of the day and fall asleep naturally then be wide awake when it’s time to go to bed.  I left my insomniac tendencies in college and I aim to leave them there… I don’t have time for it now.

And just to be safe… I’ve already ordered some Melatonin for my next big trip.  But if any of you have better tips for dealing with, what I call, reverse Jetlag, let me know.

Day 922: Jetlag… There’s Just No Winning, Part 1

Jetlag is a very funny thing… and I’m done trying to figure it out.

Back on Day 136, when I first arrived in Belgrade, a 6 hour time difference, I wrote an entry titled ‘Jetlag, The Devil’ (http://schutzhappens.blogspot.com/2008/12/day-136-jetlag-devil.html)... It was the first time I had gone 6 hours East and it was pretty painful… and well… we made some pretty serious jetlag combat mistakes… however; when we arrived, we were moved into a temporary apartment that didn’t have internet or watchable television.  So, the odds of us quickly adjusting to the time difference was slim to none. 

The key to combating Jetlag is to stay busy… stay engaged in something… when you are tired, you have to rally and stay up as long as you can.  No matter how many time zones you cross, going East or West, you need to keep yourself up until at least 7pm… the closer you can get to 9pm the better.

That said, after jumping a significant number of time zones socializing with friends or family is the easiest away to rally.  After traveling 6 hours West for the first time, my buddy Costello kept me up until 2am… I hadn’t slept in something like 32 hours.)  And the second time I flew from the East Coast to Belgrade I specifically planned my return for the night of our neighborhood Halloween party… that one worked like a charm too.

However… when you’re on your own and in a place where your friends and family aren’t available to help you rally, aka stuck in a random hotel, I highly suggest a television, an internet connection, room service/delivery, a shower, and a television again… in that order.

After checking into a hotel, I will normally get settled by checking the available television stations… and then Google their television listings.  My goal is to find an interesting show or movie that I’ve never seen before that starts between 7 or 8pm.  The timing of the movie is important, because it will dictate the schedule of your other rally activities and you don’t want to start relaxing too soon.  You also don’t want to pick something you’ve seen before because you’ll be more likely to fall asleep earlier than later.  If you find a really great movie you might make it to 9 or 10pm… which is awesome!

After picking out my movie, I turn to the internet.  I can waste some serious time emailing, skyping, and blogging.  And as I said, it’s very important to stay busy… and it’s just as important to put off eating as long as possible.  A full belly is going to make you tired… an empty belly is going to keep you up.  I like to wait until a normal meal time (5ish) or when I can’t bear it anymore.  And after dinner… I’ll take a nice long shower… another task that I’ll put off as long as possible, no matter how nasty I feel from all my travels.  A hot shower and a full belly is probably the worst combination for battling jetlag… but if you plan your timing right, by the time you’re done surfing, eating, and cleaning… it’ll be movie time, which is where the television comes into play for the second time. 

When traveling on my own, I find this ritual VERY effective.  Even when I moved to Pakistan, crossing 11 time zones.

Now, I’m not saying that following my ritual will mean you’ll adjust to a new time zone over night.  As a rule it takes about one day per time zone crossed to fully adjust… and no matter what you do during those adjustment days, you’ll feel an awful lot like you’re in college again, when it’s midnight and you’re having to write a paper you haven’t started yet that is due at 8am… while your drunk.

However, for me… following my jetlag combat ritual consistently cuts the adjustment time in half. 

That is until this January… when I was bested by a 4 hour time change.

To be continued…

Day 921: A Very Fancy Motorcycle Indeed

They say ‘a picture is worth a thousand words’… this is very true… because I am kicking myself for leaving my camera at home and I’m going to try my best to keep this post under a thousand words (but no promises).

In general, getting around Islamabad is quite the adventure.  Drivers tend to weave from lane to lane with total disregard for other vehicles… the concept of ‘maintaining lane’ is completely lost since many drivers will center themselves on a lane line for kilometers at a time leaving you to guess which lane they intend to use…  And I’ve actually heard people describe lane lines as an aesthetic to make Islamabad appear beautiful rather than serving an actual function.

Drivers will often ignore traffic signals… ignore right of ways… and when merging with traffic, they do so without matching the speed of said traffic (often times cutting you off at a high rate of speed and once they have overtaken the lane slow down to a crawl… for what reason, I haven’t the foggiest).

Couple this with the fact that people will simple stop and park in middle of a busy street… or the pedestrians who gingerly cross streets that resemble interstate highways without regard for their own lives… or the other pedestrians who walk three abreast on a busy road rather than walking on sidewalks or in the grass… or even the bicycles who weave in and out of traffic without an ounce of control or a care in the world (I’ve actually seen a man on a bicycle hit a parked car dead on).

Then there are the motorcycles… and there are a ton of them.  They drive as erratically as the bicycles and with the speed of the automobiles.  And the amazing thing about the motorcycles is how many people you’ll see pilled on.  Sure, it’s common place to see two people on a motorcycle anywhere in the world… but so far, the record I’ve seen here is seven.  That’s right.  Seven people on one motorcycle.  An entire family.  Three children in the front, between the handle bars and their father, who was driving, followed by the mother sitting side saddle while holding two small children.  That’s right… let me slow it down for you: Side Saddle… Holding… TWO… Small Children.  I wish I had a picture.

All the women ride motorcycles side saddle over here, which is very nerve wrecking while in traffic…and I wish I was lying, but holding babies and toddlers on motorcycles while sitting side saddle on a motorcycle is common place.  It’s crazy.  I have no idea how they stay on.

No one is strapped in and no one is wearing a helmet.

And you might think this picture is the one that’s worth a thousand words… well it’s not.  It’s the fact that I recently saw a similar family outing on a motorcycle… their NEW motorcycle.  How do I know it was their NEW motorcycle? 

Well… they still had the bubble wrap on their side view mirrors… rendering them completely useless… as they weaved, as a family, carelessly through Islamabad traffic… without an ounce of control or a care in the world.

When I drive through the streets of Islamabad, I spend most of my time recounting my CPR and emergency medical training… it’s sad but true.   I hope I don’t have to use it… but I will if I have too.

Work Count: 572

Day 920: Turkish Airlines Toilet Safety Video

When you fly as much as I do it is really hard to pay attention to the safety instructions given at the beginning of the flight… especially if the instructions are giving in multiple languages and are underscored with light and relaxing music.

The one treat however is to see how each airline handles their safely briefing… and well… so far Turkish Airlines is my favorite… when it comes to a comical presentation.

First of all… their video is excruciatingly long (as you will see in the embedded video).  However, there are moments of brilliance, mainly due to their use of computer animation coupled with a non-computer generated guy in a box signing everything for the hearing impaired?

My two favorite parts of the video take place at time marks 1:50 and 4:47.

1:50 – This part contains instructions for using infant seat belts when the infant in traveling in your lap.  I love how the curious computer generated infant watches the headless mother strap it in and then look up at the camera.  Every time I see it I am expecting the infant to give a pick smile and thumbs up to the camera.

4:47 – At this point, almost five minutes in, I had totally lost my concentration and was recounting what I had learned before regarding my nearest exits just in case my boredom morphed into the need to escape… however, when I heard the word toilet Turkish Air regained my attention.  Their freakishly long video has a section on toilet safety.  Now, most airlines mention their no-smoking policy and will mention that the policy also applies to the lavatories.. but that’s pretty much as far as the potty talk goes.  Turkish’s 3D animated toilet safely portion totally caught me off guard and made me laugh out loud.

Day 919: In-Flight Movie, Thank You 1984 VCR!

So… I’ve flown on quite a few airlines.  Hands down my favorite International carriers are Emirates, Qatar, and for the most part Lufthansa, (Incidentally, my favorite American carrier is Frontier).  Anyway… I’ve also flown on quite a few duds… but when it comes to flying on duds… you’re almost never going very far and most importantly… you’re never on the plane very long.  I can fly on anything for 3 hours without breaking a sweat. 

However, when I’m flying over three hours (which usually means I’m taking multiple flights in a 24 hours period) I become a bit of a snob… and I’ll own that about myself.  But honestly, I’m only picking about two things:

First, the food needs to be good.  I have a personal rule regarding airplane food: No matter what… eat everything they give you.  And it’s much easier to wolf-down food that actually tastes good.

Why eat everything?  Well, airlines serve food at random intervals which are hard to predict at times… especially when unknown factors, like turbulence, can turn off all ‘scheduled’ services… simply put, you’ll never know when your next meal is coming.  Which is also why I always try to eat something before flights and why I always travel with a high protein snack, like trail mix.  Being hungry on an airplane is miserable, plus, if you have a full belly it will be easier to sleep… or at least relax.

Second, I need quality entertainment… preferably a personal LCD screen packed full of movies.  This helps to pass the time immensely.   Airlines like Emirates and Qatar probably have a 100 movies available, both new and old, that you can watch at your leisure… and all of their planes have the same movies to pick from.  If I know my next flight in on the same carrier, I will actually start a movie near the end of the first flight… and then finish it on my second flight.  It’s pretty awesome for a movie addict like me who gets bored very easily.

Well… I’ve told you a little bit about my experience flying on Turkish Air from Belgrade to Istanbul recently… but I haven’t told you about my experience on my connecting flight destine for Islamabad, operated… by… another airline.  What first began as a very maddening experience quickly became one of my most hilarious travel stories EVER.

Now, the maddening part wasn’t the fact that they had a hand written list of names at the transfer desk…

Or the fact that they could only offer me a hand written boarding pass to get through security, the same security that didn’t know where Islamabad was and kept telling me in broken English, “Yes, Istanbul, you are here!”…

Or the fact that they needed to photo copy my passport, Turkish Air boarding pass, and baggage claim sticker so they could find the luggage I had checked all the way through (I was honestly surprised when it arrived without issue)…

Or the fact that half of my flight consisted of Pakistani’s who were being deported from Turkey… and I watches as they were all given drops of a sleep agent under their tongues before the flight…

Or the fact that, what I thought was a direct flight to Islamabad, was actually scheduled to stop  on the tarmac of another major airport five hours away at 3am for three hours (which ended up being closer to five) to pick-up more passengers…

Or the fact that I couldn’t get a business class upgrade because the entire section was being occupied by the families of the folks flying the plane (I’m not kidding about this… the pilot and stewart’s spent most of their time hanging with their wives and kids).

Or the fact that the food was sketchy at best (although, per my rule, I still ate everything and didn’t get sick)… or the fact that the seats were abnormally thin so that I was shoulder to shoulder with the guy sitting next to me…

Do you think these things got me down?  No… for the most part I was cool with all this (except the stop on the other tarmac was a killer… And I don’t really like being should to should for long flights).  But, you know me… I roll with the punches… I getter done.

No… what really took the wind out of my sails was the lack of a personal LCD screen. 

In anticipation for my 8 hour flight (which ended up being over 10 hours on the plane), I had visited the airlines website to verify their entertainment offerings.  Judging from their site… I was going to be a-okay.  But I found nothing. 

However… there was a medium sized projection screen on the bulk head wall… so there was a glimmer of hope… but I was still pissed off about it.

About 10 minutes into the flight, just before meal service one of the stewarts immerged from business class holding three black VHS cassettes with hand written labels, like when my father used to record the NBC’s movie of the week or ‘Murder She Wrote’.

Another glimmer of hope… my first thought was, “Please Lord, I’ve been good… please let it be an in-flight movie!”

And you know what?  God answered my prayer.  It was an in-flight movie.  There I was… on my way to Pakistan… eating mutton and a dinner roll… watching Peter O’Toole and Audrey Hepburn in William Wyler’s 1966 ‘masterpiece’ “How to Steal a Million”. 

Being a movie buff I got pretty excited.  I hadn’t seen “How to Steal a Million”… and based on the tracking issues of the VHS cassette and the poor sound quality I can honestly tell you that I still having seen “How to Steal a Million”… but really… it was the effort that counted.

And I really wish they had shown a second movie… like when the passengers got restless when we were stuck on the tarmac for three (plus) hours… or during our last leg into Islamabad.

But you know?  You can’t have everything.  Besides… I get to keep the story forever.

 

Day 918: Year in Review – 2010

Wow… 2010.  The year of Gilliam… and to a lesser level… the year of Pakistan.  However, any which way you slice it, 2010 was truly remarkable and life changing.

That said, the year should probably be fresher in my mind than it actually is.  In fact… I can only remember two occasions with great clarity… and honestly, those are the only two memories I want to keep from that year.  They simply involve a ‘Hello’ and a ‘Goodbye’. 

But since the two very special boys involved these memories have birthdays just around the corner… I think I’ll wait until then so I can do both memories justice.  Come back January 31^st for ‘The Hello’ and February 10^th for ‘The Goodbye’.

As for the rest of the year?  Well, after exploring 9 years of rather depressing videos recapping the decade… I found one for 2010 that is amazingly creative and inspiring.  I love it!  Enjoy!

(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F0QXB5pw2qE)

Day 917: SchutzHappens, December 2010, Part 2 – ‘Christmas TV’