Day 1220: The Chair, Part 40 – The Curse of Being Thrifty

The lengths Serena and I have gone in order to save a few bucks tend to borderline on the absurd. 

In order to save money on our first house, we opted to do the renovations ourselves… although neither of us had ever tiled anything beyond a six inch mosaic square in an art class.

On our first trip overseas (before joining the service and after having Grayson) we decided a 6 hours layover after an 11+ hour flight was doable… since the layover would also come with a minimal cost savings.

While on our six week Home Leave to Atlanta… we decided not to rent a car.

Hey!  Let’s setup our own wedding!  (The Chair, Part 3)

And when we needed a stroller in London, we ask our friends to bring one with him…

For some reason, when it comes to saving money, Serena and I still behave as if we are poor college kids just trying to scrap by… then again we have two kids and a mortgage payment… so… we might not be in college anymore, although I was in the process of writing my Graduate thesis during the time period of ‘The Chair’, we’re still poor in our own minds.

Although… I prefer the term ‘thrifty’… and someday I hope we learn how to do a cost/benefit analysis… because… well… sometimes the savings isn’t worth it.  Like when we need a new rocking chair, because ours is packed in a storage container in Hagerstown, (The Chair, Part 5). 

About a week before Costello arrived with our new stroller, Serena and I had been on a quest of our own.  To find ‘The Chair’… a rocking or gliding nursing chair… and honestly, they were pretty hard to find… and the ones we did weren’t VERY expensive.  The cheapest we could find was at Hammonds, a prominent department store in London, for about £350.00 (roughly $550.00).

Aghast at the price, I suggested we go to IKEA… a suggestion that has become my great folly in life.  With Costello at my side, fresh off the plane/bus/train, I would never have been able to predict how ridiculous our adventure would become… and most importantly, the ridiculous number of blog entries I would get out of this horrible period in my life.

The trip to IKEA took an EXTREMELY long time:

The Chair, Part 1

                The Chair, Part 4

                                The Chair, Part 6

                                                The Chair, Part 9

And there we were… on a cold rainy January evening, somewhere outside London, staring up at the behemoth… the worst place ever created by man has ever created (Part 7 and Part 8)… and we were about to walk into the heart of the beast.

Dang it… why do I need to be so darn thrifty all the time!?!

Day 1207: SchutzHappens, October 2011 – ‘Rain On Me’

Day 1203: The Chair, Part 39 – The Arrival

I think you’re all eating right.

Today I was planning to post our October Family Video, but just before loading it I noticed something didn’t render correctly… so instead… you get another episode of ‘The Chair’.  Lucky you!

So… yeah… Costello spent about seven hours on a full bus with a stroller on his lap… and if this feat of human endurance and commitment weren’t impressive enough on its own, remember, Costello did this right on the heels of some other serious traveling without any sleep.

Now, the timeline has probably seemed a bit farfetched.  To be honest this all happened over a year and a half ago and some of the timing is a bit fuzzy.  So, for this post I went back and found Costello’s old itinerary and things seem to check out.

He started at 3:40pm (EST) the previous day when he flew from Atlanta to Charlotte.  Then, after an hour and a half layover he boarded a second flight leaving at 6:20pm that evening.  His scheduled arrival in London was supposed to be 7:20am (3:20am EST) the following day.  Roughly 12 hours of ‘normal’ scheduled travel time.

But, as we all know… he didn’t make it to London… for quite some time.

So, with the three hours on the tarmac, two wandering around Manchester airport, and seven on the bus… his travel time is up to 24 hours making that about 7pm London time.

To me, this timing sounds about right based on how my day turned out.  You see, as I’ve hinted in previous posts, I had planned to take that day off.  I had originally planned to meet Costello at Victoria Station as he got off the Gatwick Express.  (In previous posts I might have mentioned Heathrow, however, after reexamining his itinerary, Costello was supposed to land at the Gatwick Airport).  And after picking him up, I had planning on just hanging out for the day.  However when his flight was diverted to Manchester to wait out the ‘snow storm’ I decided to go to work until he landed safely in Gatwick and boarded the Express… I figured I would only end up putting in a half day… however… I ended up working the entire day.  A little after 5pm I walked home.

I probably got home around 5:45ish… and during our time in London, we normally ate dinner about an hour or so after I got home.  And that faithful day, Costello called around the tail end of dinner to tell me they were finally pulling into the Gatwick Airport.  He called again about twenty minutes later to tell me he had boarded the Gatwick Express.  And that is when I left to meet him at Victoria Station. 

About 30 or 45 minutes later, Costello arrived in Victoria Station.

Now… as you can imagine, after a journey like this we probably shared a very Hollywood-style reunion.  The two of us running through a crowded British train station trying to seek each other out while violin music soared to a crescendo… calling each other’s names loudly and rushing together for a well earned man-hug.   

Well… this is probably how the story will end when Brian Grazer finds my blog and hires Ben Stiller to play Costello. 

But, no… that’s not what really happened.  Sure the train station was crowded… and British.  And I we did have trouble finding each other… but when we finally connected there was no man-hug.  No, Costello simply shoved a large plastic bundle into my arms and said, “Here’s you f---ing stroller.”

Day 1195: The Chair, Part 38 – The Unbearable Awesomeness of Costello

Yes Becky… Costello is awesome.  And to be completely honest, this chapter of ‘The Chair’ was going to be called ‘The Bottle of Booze’, but your comment inspired me… yes… if nothing else, ‘The Chair’ should be a testament to Costello’s commitment and loyalty.  However, Costello is also the guy who made me watch ‘The Room’ during my home leave… which was probably the worst movie I’ve ever seen in my life… and he made me watch it on purpose… so… for that… I hate him.  BUT, for the stroller and what he went through to deliver it?  For that, we honor him today.

So yes!  Costello boarded the bus from Manchester to London with no place to store the stroller.  So, he opted to ride holding the stroller on his lap.  Little did he know how long the, normally three and a half hour, trip would take.

The first issue they faced was weather.  Although it wasn’t snowing, it was raining A LOT and the bus drivers were compensating due to lack of visibility and the fear of black ice.  Costello called me about an hour into the trip and he estimated they were probably going a little faster than half the normal speed limit.  And based on his calculations we estimated the three and a half hour trip would take about five hours.  For most people this would be death… but Costello is pretty easy going and pretty much said he was enjoying his ‘tour of the British countryside’… and then he said something about the ‘damn stroller’ on his lap… but I had already tuned him out.

Anyway… it looked like the bus ride was going to take longer than normally expected… which is understandable when traveling by bus… however, an hour later Costello called me again… and well… apparently we overlooked something; our five hour estimate was going to be on the low side.

You see… two hours into the bus ride everyone was a bit tired, however they were in good spirits.  Like Costello, they had accepted the fact the trip would probably take five hours… but then… then the bus drivers pulled over and informed the passengers they would be taking their mandated one-hour break.

Yeah… so… you see… apparently, bus drivers in England have to take an hour break after ever two hours of driving.  At least that is what THESE bus drivers claimed… I haven’t been able to verify this as an official policy though.  Costello and I figure these guys were being paid by the hour and were milking it. 

Anyway… you do the math.  We estimated the trip at five hours… so there were going to be at least two hours worth of breaks scattered into the timetable. 

As you can imagine, the passengers didn’t take the news very well.  Even Costello sounded pretty melancholy when we talked during the first rest stop.  However… when he called me from their second ‘mandatory’ pit-stop his spirits seemed up… mainly due to the consumption of ‘spirits’.

Apparently when the road weary travelers re-boarded the bus after the first stop… a few of them broke open their duty free bags.  And well… let’s just say bottles started getting passed around and the somber mood of the bus became more social.  Folks began swapping stories and singing songs… and once they had imbibed enough… like yourself… the passengers on the bus clambered to hear one story in particular.  They wanted to know why the hell Costello had a stroller on his lap… and with one more swig of Jack straight from the bottle… Costello told them… and it was awesome.

Day 1192: The Chair, Part 37 – The Stroller, Part ‘Who Cares’

Now, there is an element of Costello’s story that I’ve been ignoring.  And in case you have forgotten, it is now time for a reminder: throughout his entire trip, Costello has been carting around our new stroller.

http://www.amazon.com/Graco-SnugRider-Infant-Stroller-Frame/dp/B0007KMUH4/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1319471839&sr=8-1

He was bringing it to us in London because the box was too large to ship through our diplomatic mail service, and in addition, Costello had done a fancy two-step in Atlanta to get the stroller on the plane for free, without actually traveling with a child justifying the need for the stroller.  This is a very important distinction because I was once charged for checking a car seat when I wasn’t traveling with Grayson.

So… imagine if you will… a man in his early thirties… carrying a knapsack… looking like your average American backpacker… getting off an airplane and wandering around the Manchester airport for a couple hours pushing an empty stroller.

Well… let’s just say… it rose more than a couple eyebrows.  Nothing major… nothing particularly blog worthy… however he was asked where his child was so many times by airport security that he decided fold up the stroller and carry over his shoulder rather than have to explain how he’s the world greatest friend one more time.

Anyway, once the British Transportation Authority gave their ‘all clear’ for the passengers of Costello’s flight to clear customers and take possession of their checked baggage… it caused… well… it caused a few more issues.  Most importantly… it caused a significant space issue on the busses. 

You see, prior to the release of their checked baggage, when American Airline thought they would be forced to transport everything to London before folks would be allowed to clear customs, they hired a separate box truck to take the luggage.  A truck they no longer needed once the passengers got their hot little hands on their luggage!

So, American Airlines canceled the box truck and instructed the passengers to take their luggage on the busses.

Well… this is all fine and dandy… except they had only hired two busses with just enough seats for all the passengers.  And if you are familiar with bus travel you will know that busses have far less cargo space than airplanes AND considerably less overhead and under-seat space as well.

So… rather than describing in great detail how they quickly ran out of space for luggage… let me just throw out the word ‘sardines’ and move on. 

Honestly, the only reason they were able to get all of their luggage on the busses at all is because a handful of the passengers, who were actually headed to Manchester anyway, changed their rental car pick-up location and departed immediately after clearing customs. 

However… gaining those few seats weren’t enough to save Costello from his fate… to ride in a bus from Manchester to London with a stroller on his lap.

But then again… it’s only a three and a half hour drive, right?

You’d like to think that, wouldn’t you?

Day 1187: The Chair, Part 36 – The Checked Baggage

I’m glad it took me a couple days to pen this next segment of Costello’s journey to London, mainly because of Pauline’s comment on my last post:  “I just love the real world implementation of what seem originally like reasonable rules and regulations.”

Yes… well… it didn’t just stop with passport control… those seemingly ‘reasonable rules and regulations’ continued being tested by the practicalities of implementation.

This time, it was Costello’s checked baggage.

You see folks; Costello wasn’t simple ushered off the plane, through passport control and onto a bus destined for London… no… the ushering stopped after passport control… at which time the WAITING started once again.  Costello waited in the Manchester airport for almost two MORE hours, all the while he and his fellow passengers were told that they were waiting for the busses to arrive.  Well… that was only part of the story. 

You see… checked baggage is a funny thing.  Especially when it comes to who is liable for the baggage.  Despite what we’ve seen with United and their treatment of guitars, in theory, when you check your bags with an airline, they take over the chain of custody of your bags, thus becoming liable for them. 

Apparently, American Airline didn’t want to be liable for Costello’s bags while they were being transported from Manchester to London.  And frankly, I don’t blame them. 

American Airlines felt it was unreasonable for them to maintain control of the bags since they would be forced to hand them over to a third party mover in order to adhere to a British Transportation Authority policy.  In short, for almost two hours American Airlines was insisting the British Transportation Authority either take custody of the passengers checked bags during transport to London, OR, let their passenger’s clear customs in Manchester. 

In the end… after milling about for quite some time, Costello and his fellow passengers were called to baggage claim and were allowed to clear customs… and then… and only then… were they allowed to board the busses… busses that had been parked outside for over an hour and a half.

Day 1185: SchutzHappens, June – September, 2011 – On the Road to Find Out

I know, I know… I promised not to post anything that wasn’t directly related to ‘The Chair’ until the saga was finished… but… come on… you can’t expect me NOT to post my monthly family video (that I haven’t done for four months)!… it’s not like I’m interrupting the story to post a video of a ninja answer questions!