Sunday, November 7, 2010

Day 840: Personal Narrative

So, I’ve been helping a friend of mine with her State Department application and I dug up my old application essays.  Although, most of the hiring process for the Foreign Service is confidential and we’re not allowed to talk about it, the initial application requirements for FS Specialist job are publically posted on www.usajobs.gov… and one of the elements is a series of job specific essays AND a ‘Personal Narrative’.
Looking back at my old application, the essay that caught my eye was my ‘Personal Narrative’, which is nothing more than a “Hi, this is who I am, why I’m awesome, and why I want to join your club”… it’s basically, you in 5000 characters.
Anyway, I’ve been doing this whole blog thing for quite some time and I figure there are some new readers out there thinking, “Who the heck is this guy?... and when is he gonna learn how to proofread?”, so I thought it would be fun to update my ‘Personal Narrative’ and post it as a reintroduction of sorts… so… here it is:
“If my memory serves me correctly, I spent most of my childhood vacations in the backseat of a 1970-something gray Chevrolet station wagon while touring the United States with my parents and older brother. By the time I was twelve years old I had been to every state except for six. Today that number stands at four.
What I remember most about these trips are not the endless hours arguing with my brother, now a patent attorney, about who was trespassing into whose personal space. It’s not the color my mother’s (mathematician turned housewife turned math tutor) knuckles as she reached for the dashboard each time she felt my father was unsafely tailgating. What I remember most about these trips is the obsession my father (accountant turned IBM salesman turned real estate agent) had with playing Willie Nelson’s ‘On the Road Again’ each time we saddled up for the next leg of our epic family adventure. At least that’s what I hear in my memory when I envision the picture of my distant youthful self standing in four states at the same time at Four Corners Monument. The song also plays in the background as I recall driving three very hot hours out of the way of our original destination to visit the anti-climatic Craters of the Moon National Park. Willie Nelson continues to sing as my flash accidentally goes off in the darkness of Wind Cave, as I visit Alcatraz, Pipestone, Bar Harbor, and even as my father fends off a knife wielding thief at a Dairy Queen in the middle of the night in the middle of nowhere, and as I take a rock to the face at a rodeo in Oklahoma.
Each road trip ended at home in Atlanta. A place that, besides our summer tours of the U.S., I never left until taking a theatre scholarship at the College of Charleston.

In the summer of 1999 I moved to Manhattan for four months to attend a summer film program. Most of my education came from the city itself. I took on the city alone. Some predicted it would eat me up, but in turn I ate up the city.  For the first time in my life I was given the chance to completely immerse myself into, what was for me, a foreign culture. I amazed myself with how easily I assimilated.

At the end of that summer I returned to Charleston and quickly finished up my final year and graduated with a B.A. in May 2000. My college years were successful. I had been elected President of Center Stage, the campus theatre organization, and appointed to the Dean of the Arts Student Advisory Board at the beginning of my senior year.

Afterward I returned to the place of my birth with no intention of staying. I simply planned to save money and focus on graduate school. I worked accounting temp jobs with various Atlanta-based companies including Turner and Racetrac Petroleum. Eventually I stumbled into an arts center that I had frequented in my youth and where I had first fostered my love for theatre. Shortly after meeting the new coordinator I was offered a part-time job, which ended up being the start of a seven year tenure with the Cobb County’s Cultural Affairs Division.

Although I started my career intending to peruse theatre as a profession, I quickly realized that I had a rare skill set. My educational focus on theatre gave me event planning and logistics coordinating skills, ease at public speaking, a love for presentation planning, and a very comfortable customer service approach. These qualities were coupled with a skill set I inherited from my family which included attention to detail, organizational, mathematical and problem solving skills. This set of skills has proven to be a successful asset for Cobb County and then later for the State Department, who I applied to on a whim in 2007 only to be snatched up immediately.  
However, it has not been all work. The passion I have for life overflowed in 2005 when I met Serena, a newly returned Peace Corp volunteer. We fell in love, quickly married, and began a family. We are now the proud parents of a four year old boy named Grayson, who is learning more and more about Serbian language and culture every day, and a nine month old boy named Gilliam, who was born in London during my wife’s maternity medevac.
These days I’m a long way from being that little boy in the back of the station wagon. But at the same time, I’m now the dad with the obsession with Willie Nelson. I could hear him singing at my first flag ceremony, I can hear him singing during my R&R’s, during my son’s birth, and when I wipe the tears from my wife’s face as I’m about to board a plane to Pakistan for a year.  We’re always ‘On the Road Again’ and we would not have it any other way.”
BTW: The part about my dad fending of the knife welding thief at Dairy Queen is 100% true (as is everything I wrote in my narrative)… and the rock I took to the face in Oklahoma probably explains quite a bit.

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Day 839: Han Solo is Christopher Robin

I'm not sure if I've shared this before... but, this is one of the cutest things I have ever seen!  I’m pretty sure Santa is getting this framed fro Grayson this Christmas.

Friday, November 5, 2010

Day 838: Diwali, The Hindi Festival of Lights

I spend a lot of time focusing on bizarre and strange days of observation that we could do without… and that’s all fun and good, however, there are a lot of OTHER holidays of great significance to people all over the world that I’ve been ignoring.  


For the most part American’s have no idea what a lot of these other religious and cultural holidays are really about… and back when I took a comparative religion class in college, I discovered a lot of curious similarities between my Catholic/Christian upbringing and cultures that seemed so different on the surface.  


So, periodically, I’m going to profile a religious and/or cultural day of significance… and don’t focus so much on the practice of the holidays… because culturally, the practice is going to look and feel very different.  I want you to focus on the similarities of the themes we are celebrating… because half a world away might not be a different as you think.


 

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Day 837: King Tut Day

Do we really need a day honoring the discovery of King Tut’s tomb?  Hmmm… okay… you’re right… it’s pretty bad ass.  


Hit it ‘5 in LOVE’!


Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Day 836: The Fantasy Fades

As many of you know, I’m a football nut.  I’m very active in Pick ‘Em leagues (which is very different from Fantasy Football).  In Pick ‘Em leagues you simply try to predict the winners of each game and then assign a weighted point value to each depending on how confident you are in your individual picks.  It sounds simple enough, but can be pretty tough…. especially when you have a pool of 20 to 25 people competing against each other ever week.  


Now, this year I was invited to join a traditional Fantasy Football league, which I had never done before, so I said ‘sure, why not’.  Well… because it’s not fun.  It’s more annoying than anything else and its 75% game day luck, because even good players can have bad games… and the other 25% is how lucky you were in the draft, acquiring the players that may or may not be lucky at not getting injured.


Basically, it all starts with a mock draft where everyone needs to choose one quarterback, two wide receivers, two running backs, a tight end, kicker, and a defensive line… players from any team you want… you essentially form a ‘dream team’.  Then each week, depending on how well YOUR players do in their individual games, you generate points.  However, each week the winner isn’t determined by who earns the most points… all twelve teams in my league aren’t fighting in out for supremacy each week… no… I have a schedule… and each week I am paired up with one other team.  Whoever earns the most points wins and our rankings are determined by our win-lose ratio.


Right now I am in sixth place.  Not great, not bad.  BUT, the first place team in undefeated… however, his team has only scored more points than my team in a given week twice this seasons… yet… he’s in first place and I’m in sixth place.  


For a numbers person like myself, I find this annoying. 


Even more annoying is what happened to me last week… I should be in fourth place right now.  You see, my team started a little shaky… but we’ve been solid for weeks racking up win after win.  Last week, going into the Monday Night Football game I was 30 points ahead of my opponent.  Even though we both had one more player on our roster set for that game, it was nearly impossible for him to catch me… mathematically it was a lock!  Excitement, cheers, champagne!    


Oh yeah… I should probably mention that the player on my team I was expecting to seal the deal was the Dallas Cowboys Quarterback Tony Romo… and the math I did neglected the variable of the New York Giants ripping his arm off in the first half.  Literally… he’s out for the season… and more importantly, I lost the game and I dropped to sixth place.  Luck just isn’t on my side here.  Sometimes I think I used up my luck quota when I met Serena... now?  Well… I’m not going to be playing the lottery any time soon.


Alright Matt Ryan, of my hometown heroes The Atlanta Falcons… it’s up to you buddy.  We started in 11th place… we’ve can do this… let’s just make it to the playoffs, okay?  Both of us.  In our real/fantasy football lives. 

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Day 835: Short Cut Key Copy/Paste = Google Kryptonite

Do you use computer short cut keys to copy (ctrl+c) and paste (ctrl+v)?  I do.  


Do you use gmail or google docs?  I do… but if you add all of these things together you are doomed to beat your head against the wall.


I have officially discovered Google’s KRYOTONITE!  Its short-cut keys.


I have been using short-cut keys for so long that they’re second nature to me.  They are an extension of who I am.  And rightly so, I spend close to 10 hours a day at a computer funneling through information like crazy.  Short-cut keys make this go a million times faster.  


However, Google’s gmail and docs applications don’t support them… or at least not well.  When it does work, it’s clunky, bogs down my system (often times locking it up), and then finally dumps an over-formatted mess of text onto my page.  It’s an unusable mess!  I hate it.  I’ve stopped using Google docs for this reason.  


I would like to think a company like Google would be able to identify and fix an issue like this… however, the conspiracy theorist in me thinks they created the problem on purpose.  


I think they want their products to be incompatible with Microsoft Office.  Hmmm….  I wonder how that’s going to work out for them.


BTW: I’m now typing my blog in Microsoft Word… the official word processor of SchutzHappens.

Monday, November 1, 2010

Day 834: Father/Son Home Leave Trip? Brilliant!

I’m terrible excited and terrible crushed all at the same time.  


Once I’m finished with my time here in Pakistan I will have about a month’s worth of mandatory vacation that must be taken on United States soil… I know right?  Having to take vacation in the United States is a very odd stipulation, but true.  Besides sick leave and annual live, in the Foreign Service we also accumulate ‘home leave’ which can only be taken between assignments and can only be used in the United States.  But, hey… it’s a month off… I’m not complaining!


Originally, for our post-Pakistan/pre-Paramaribo home leave, Serena and I were thinking Walt Disney World.  Grayson is at the perfect age and well… I’m immature… and a theme park junky… so I’m probably just as excited as Grayson.


However, as Serena and I had started to plan our home leave, we’ve realized Disney probably isn’t the best choice for our family vacation this year.  Gilly is still very young and won’t be able to go on most of the rides… or ever care, which means we’ll need to split up constantly… which is no fun.  


So, Serena has pitched the idea of going to a Dude Ranch out west… an idea that Grayson and I love!  And then to make life even better, Serena also proposed the idea of me taking Grayson to Disney World for a few days on my own!  


“Grayson’s at the perfect age and by next summer, you’ll have been gone so long, I think a trip like this would be really important for you two.”


I couldn’t agree more.  I am overcome with excitement… and I’ve started to plan.


And… well… now… I’m crushed.


Although I strive at being the best dad I can be… I’m having a hard time swallowing the Disney/Orlando prices.  We can stay at the lowest level Disney Hotel for four nights with a five day park jumper ticket complete with the Disney Meal plan for ‘just’ $1,500.00.  


And I know what you’re thinking… but I’ve crunched the numbers… Orlando in July is incredibly expensive and believe it or not, the best deal is actually staying in the park itself.  The two major factors at play here are transportation and food.


TRANSPORTATION:  The independent hotels offering airport and Disney park shuttles are all more expensive than the Disney Resorts.  And the cost savings I may get from staying at a hotel without shuttles won’t matter, because I’ll still have to rent a car for the week, pay for gas, AND pay Disney’s incredibly steep parking fees.  The estimated cost of providing my own transportation makes staying off campus more expensive.


FOOD: Based on everything I’ve read, the estimated cost of a meal inside the Disney Park is $15.00 to $25.00 per person.  This means I would need to budget between $75 to $100 per day for the two of us… $500.00?????  However, for just $188.00, we can get the Disney Meal plan that feeds us three meals a day and a snack.  It’s really a no brainer.


However… my brain can’t justify spending $1500.00 for a five day trip to Orlando… oh, scratch that… I haven’t factored in airfare yet, which is running $250.00 per person right now.  Yeah… I may be immature… but I’m not stupid.  Grayson, I love you buddy… but we can’t drop two grand for a vacation that excludes your mom and brother.


So… yeah… back to the drawing board.