As you can probably see by the “day” number of this posting we have reached a milestone. Today is my one year anniversary of entering the Foreign Service. That’s right, one year of this mad crazy ride. But the fun doesn’t stop there… tomorrow is my 3rd wedding anniversary! In fact, it will be my third wedding anniversary not spent with my wife which is probably some dubious honor that the Guinness Book of World Records probably follows. That’s right, I am 0 for 3… for those bookies out there, I have a 100% dining alone record. As sad as the history surrounding our anniversary may sound, I find it all very funny. So, on this dual anniversary, I thought I would share the story… as briefly as possible.
2007
The circumstances surrounding our first wedding anniversary are probably the most humorous… and I almost forgot about it when I started this blog entry. At first I thought this was going to be the second we’ve spent apart… but alas… I remembered.
Of course as any young married couple would do, we made pretty elaborate plans to go downtown in Atlanta for a great meal and maybe some dancing… you know, paint the town red. But, before I continue… I should fill you in with the following: shortly after our beautiful wedding at my parents Lake House; Serena began studying for her doula certification. So, around the beginning of 2007, she began attending births. Only about two our three a month, but as you can imagine it was always very unpredictable. On the day of our first anniversary I left work early, raced home to change clothes. My brother-in-law was living with us at the time, so we had a built in sitter for Grayson at the time… it was going to be a great night out. We jumped in the car around 5 or 6pm and started making our way downtown. We weren’t even five minutes away from the house when my brother called Serena. You see, my sister-in-law was prego with her fourth, my third nephew. And well… labor started… so I turned the car around and took Serena home to change close and she was quickly out the door. I spent my first wedding anniversary watching a hockey game with my brother-in-law… and my Serena spent the evening attending to her sister-in-law. Funny huh?
Well, it would have been much less funny if my sister-in-law had actually given birth that night. But, we Schutz’s love humor… it was a false alarm. She ended up having the baby a few days later. But, luckily… my brother and sister-in-law had the foresight of saving their fourth born from a life of torment from his loving uncle... they named him JohnPaul. How awesome is that! The hockey game was totally worth it!
2008
The months leading up to our second anniversary Serena and I had given up on our dream of joining the Foreign Service and were living our lives as if we were staying in Atlanta. But, on June 28th, we were taken completely off guard when we received the phone call. The dream life was ours… and I had to report to Washington, DC by July 21st. The day before our anniversary. The kicker was this… we were given such little notice that we were unable to schedule the movers until about two weeks after I had to report. So, we had to split up for three weeks while I started training and Serena cleaned up all of our loose ends in Atlanta.
Being that I was only in DC for a couple days, I didn’t really know anyone… and I had just received the list of possible locations where we could be spending the next two years… so I spent the evening weighing the pros and cons of moving my family to Hanoi, Montevideo, or Belgrade.
2009
Serena, Grayson and I were entitled to a trip home from Belgrade back to the States. We were all very excited, and we spend a lot of time planning. Serena and Grayson were going to leave about three weeks ahead of me to visit family in Indianapolis. I was going to fly in and join them there for a few days before we all flew to Atlanta for two weeks with family and friends. I was so excited since it had been nearly year since I’d been home; the longest I had ever been away from Atlanta. I wanted to take Gray to a Braves game and Stone Mountain… the World of Coke… as well as a glorious week at my parents Lake House (where I spend the better part of my childhood and where Serena and I got married). The plan was to fly into Atlanta on July 20th… and I had been working overtime trying to plan the BEST anniversary ever. My brother had agreed to take Grayson for the night for his first sleep over without his parents… and Serena and I were FINALLY going to paint the town red. Glorious! Airfare was reserved… reservations arranged… and then…
Serena got pregnant with our second! I know right? Double glorious! Very exciting stuff! And as our planned trip grew ever closer, I started running the numbers to be able to join Serena and Gray in the States for the arrival of our new addition, since Serena will be giving birth in Indianapolis. As I crunched, it became glaringly obvious, being within my first year of service, I did not have enough leave to do both the pending trip home and the birth trip. I was forced to make to the right decision. To wait, in order to maximize my time with the baby.
So, here I sit, on the eve of my third wedding anniversary… with my two kittens… and a cold beer… but don’t feel too bad for us. For some reason Serena and I have always been more inclined to celebrate the day we first met: March 6th. And luckily, we have always been together on that anniversary.
Serena, Grayson and Little Bugger, whose gender is not yet know? I miss you guys! And I will see you soon! Only 178 days left!
-JP
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Day 334:Bob Sinclair as a McDonald’s Toy?
So... am I missing something? I took Grayson to McDonalds today for a happy meal... and the toy choices were completely random. There was a bumblebee doll, a couple of other random dolls, and finally, there was an iPod looking things featuring Bob Sinclair. Being that Serena and I both have iPods, Grayson has wanted one of his own... and this was his chance. But I had one question... who the heck is Bob Sinclair? And why is he the inspiration for a McDonald’s toy? All I knew is when you pulled a lever on the toy iPod C&C Music Factory’s “Everybody Dance Now” plays.
So, when I got home I looked him up... Bob Sinclair is a French techno DJ. So, I will ask again... why is he the inspiration for a McDonald’s toy? Now, I know that house music is terrible popular in Europe... and I admit, that it isn’t my bag... but really? A McDonald’s toy? I am sure Bob is excellent, but is a McDonald’s toy really necessary? Could you imagine walking into a McDonalds in the States and getting a toy for your three year old advertising “The Chemical Brothers” or “Prodigy” or “Fatboy Slim”? I’m just saying.
Anyway, Grayson loves his new “iPod”... and I am learning a thing or two about European house music.
I guess it is a win-win.
So, when I got home I looked him up... Bob Sinclair is a French techno DJ. So, I will ask again... why is he the inspiration for a McDonald’s toy? Now, I know that house music is terrible popular in Europe... and I admit, that it isn’t my bag... but really? A McDonald’s toy? I am sure Bob is excellent, but is a McDonald’s toy really necessary? Could you imagine walking into a McDonalds in the States and getting a toy for your three year old advertising “The Chemical Brothers” or “Prodigy” or “Fatboy Slim”? I’m just saying.
Anyway, Grayson loves his new “iPod”... and I am learning a thing or two about European house music.
I guess it is a win-win.
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Day 324: Fun with English Translations
I’m keeping today’s post pretty quick and dirty. Because something very funny just happened. Serena and I decided to order Chinese take-out for dinner tonight. Which I am very excited about. Recently a local Chinese restaurant had papered our neighborhood… so why now? Let’s check it out. So, we each looked at the menu to see what we wanted… and then I saw it:
Svinjetina sa bademom sa pet zacina
The provided English translation in the menu said the following: “Almond pork with five species”.
Now, my Serbian isn’t all that great… but I have to assume that “zacina” means “spices”… but, just to be safe… because you never know… I passed on my curiosity.
Svinjetina sa bademom sa pet zacina
The provided English translation in the menu said the following: “Almond pork with five species”.
Now, my Serbian isn’t all that great… but I have to assume that “zacina” means “spices”… but, just to be safe… because you never know… I passed on my curiosity.
Friday, June 5, 2009
Day 319: Nick Slaughter for President?
It comes as no surprise that most “A” list American celebrities are worldwide sensations. And for a lucky few, they become cult figures in certain countries around the world, like Jerry Lewis in France. But every once and a while a “lower grade” American celebrity is able to achieve cult status overseas. I think we are all still scratching our heads over David Hasselhoff’s iconic status in Germany... and even more peculiar, how Hasselhoff has been able to use that German support to relaunch his career multiple times in the States. This kind of phenomenon is not unusual and in most cases, when I find out some “B” or “C” list celebrities are insanely popular in some random part of the world, I’m like “Really? They love Jimmy Smits in Iceland? Who knew?” I might not understand their popularity... but at least I know who they are and for the most part I can where their recognition could come from.
That is until a colleague and I recently found out Serbian’s are nuts about Rob Stewart. And no, “Rob” is not a type-o... I meant to type “b”. Yesterday, one of the local Serbian newspapers ran a front page article about the upcoming visit from “Popular American Actor Rob Stewart, aka, Nick Slaughter”. Which of course raised an eyebrow among the American staff... “who the heck is Rob Stewart?” And better yet, “who the heck is Nick Slaughter?” This dilemma reached its apex when we were overheard by our Serbian counterparts... “What do you mean you don’t know who Nick Slaughter is? Come on! It’s Nick Slaughter! Tropical Heat!” And it was at this moment my Serbian colleagues unfolded a story of a seemingly unknown actor (Rob Stewart), his obscure over the top character (Nick Slaughter), and a forgettable television show in which he appeared (Tropical Heat, aka, Sweating Bullets). Of course, I am the one using words like “unknown”, “obscure” and “forgettable”... because for Serbians, Nick Slaughter is far from either... and in 1996 actor Rob Stewart had no idea that he played another part, in real life... one of a revolutionary icon that would help initiate the NEW Serbian path.
Now, before I continue, I should point out that Rob Steward is Canadian... and Tropical Heat was a Canadian television show... but no one here seems to care about that... after all, what kind of Canadian wears unbuttoned Hawaiian shirts showing off his hairy chest? Yeah... I know... it sounds like a very American thing to do.
Anyway, for us Americans, Tropical Heat was renamed to Sweating Bullets and introduced to insomniacs across the country every Monday night/Tuesday morning on CBS... as part of a program line-up called “Crimetime after Primetime”... in 1991. Other distinguished alums of this dubious timeslot on CBS includes “Forever Night” and the originally instalment of “Silk Stalking”
But, while most of us were sleeping through Sweating Bullets in the States... a Serbian station picked it up in syndication and Topical Heat was a breakaway hit. Where an American audience would describe the shows antics as cheesy... for a country in turmoil, Tropical Heat was pure escapism. For everything about the show was the exact opposite as life in Serbia at the time. And although Tropical Heat only lasted three seasons, for a total of 75 episodes... Serbian audiences welcomed Nick Slaughter into their homes well into the mid to late 90s. And those reruns are what transformed him from an escapist ideal to a cult icon. I am sure you have seen the Andre the Giant stickers that were so popular for a while in the States. In some major cities they are plastered everywhere. Well, Nick Slaughter became the subject of a similar movement in the mid 1990s... when graffiti artists began using his likeness all over Serbia with the caption, “Nick Slaughter, Serbia Hails You!”
And as the anti-Milosevic movement began to materialize, those seeking a NEW Serbia turned to Nick Slaughter as their symbol of oppositional politics. It was not uncommon to hear protesters chanting and see banners declaring “Nick Slaughter for President”. Furthermore, Slaughter was the hero in numerous anti-Milosevic political cartoon strips and deified in song by Serbian bands... most notably: Atheist Rap.
What makes this story so wonderful is that Rob Stewart never knew of his popularity, impact, and role in Serbia’s rebirth... or that Tropical Heat had ever aired in Serbia in the first place for that matter, until January 2009 while surfing Facebook:
“I accidentally bumped into a Face Book profile of a Serbian Ivan Jovanovic who wrote next to his name ‘Nick Slaughter for the President’. I wrote a witty comment: ’Hey, if you want me to be your president, all you have to do is to ask’ and I thought that would be the end of this story. “ – quote from Blic (Serbian Newspaper)
Of course... it wasn’t the end of the story. Ivan wrote back explaining everything that I just explained... and even sent Rob an English translation of Atheist Rap’s lyrics.
What now? A documentary about the impact of the Nick Slaughter character on Serbia is in the works... and tomorrow, Rob Stewart will join Atheist Rap in Novi Sad, Serbia for a concert celebrating the bands 20th anniversary... how cool is that?
That is until a colleague and I recently found out Serbian’s are nuts about Rob Stewart. And no, “Rob” is not a type-o... I meant to type “b”. Yesterday, one of the local Serbian newspapers ran a front page article about the upcoming visit from “Popular American Actor Rob Stewart, aka, Nick Slaughter”. Which of course raised an eyebrow among the American staff... “who the heck is Rob Stewart?” And better yet, “who the heck is Nick Slaughter?” This dilemma reached its apex when we were overheard by our Serbian counterparts... “What do you mean you don’t know who Nick Slaughter is? Come on! It’s Nick Slaughter! Tropical Heat!” And it was at this moment my Serbian colleagues unfolded a story of a seemingly unknown actor (Rob Stewart), his obscure over the top character (Nick Slaughter), and a forgettable television show in which he appeared (Tropical Heat, aka, Sweating Bullets). Of course, I am the one using words like “unknown”, “obscure” and “forgettable”... because for Serbians, Nick Slaughter is far from either... and in 1996 actor Rob Stewart had no idea that he played another part, in real life... one of a revolutionary icon that would help initiate the NEW Serbian path.
Now, before I continue, I should point out that Rob Steward is Canadian... and Tropical Heat was a Canadian television show... but no one here seems to care about that... after all, what kind of Canadian wears unbuttoned Hawaiian shirts showing off his hairy chest? Yeah... I know... it sounds like a very American thing to do.
Anyway, for us Americans, Tropical Heat was renamed to Sweating Bullets and introduced to insomniacs across the country every Monday night/Tuesday morning on CBS... as part of a program line-up called “Crimetime after Primetime”... in 1991. Other distinguished alums of this dubious timeslot on CBS includes “Forever Night” and the originally instalment of “Silk Stalking”
But, while most of us were sleeping through Sweating Bullets in the States... a Serbian station picked it up in syndication and Topical Heat was a breakaway hit. Where an American audience would describe the shows antics as cheesy... for a country in turmoil, Tropical Heat was pure escapism. For everything about the show was the exact opposite as life in Serbia at the time. And although Tropical Heat only lasted three seasons, for a total of 75 episodes... Serbian audiences welcomed Nick Slaughter into their homes well into the mid to late 90s. And those reruns are what transformed him from an escapist ideal to a cult icon. I am sure you have seen the Andre the Giant stickers that were so popular for a while in the States. In some major cities they are plastered everywhere. Well, Nick Slaughter became the subject of a similar movement in the mid 1990s... when graffiti artists began using his likeness all over Serbia with the caption, “Nick Slaughter, Serbia Hails You!”
And as the anti-Milosevic movement began to materialize, those seeking a NEW Serbia turned to Nick Slaughter as their symbol of oppositional politics. It was not uncommon to hear protesters chanting and see banners declaring “Nick Slaughter for President”. Furthermore, Slaughter was the hero in numerous anti-Milosevic political cartoon strips and deified in song by Serbian bands... most notably: Atheist Rap.
What makes this story so wonderful is that Rob Stewart never knew of his popularity, impact, and role in Serbia’s rebirth... or that Tropical Heat had ever aired in Serbia in the first place for that matter, until January 2009 while surfing Facebook:
“I accidentally bumped into a Face Book profile of a Serbian Ivan Jovanovic who wrote next to his name ‘Nick Slaughter for the President’. I wrote a witty comment: ’Hey, if you want me to be your president, all you have to do is to ask’ and I thought that would be the end of this story. “ – quote from Blic (Serbian Newspaper)
Of course... it wasn’t the end of the story. Ivan wrote back explaining everything that I just explained... and even sent Rob an English translation of Atheist Rap’s lyrics.
What now? A documentary about the impact of the Nick Slaughter character on Serbia is in the works... and tomorrow, Rob Stewart will join Atheist Rap in Novi Sad, Serbia for a concert celebrating the bands 20th anniversary... how cool is that?
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Day 313: Luke Skywalker and the Venice of Doom
Whelp, my days of bachelorhood (revisited) are over. The family hath returned. Thank the lord! I never sleep well when they are away and I can finally get some much deserved rest. Anyway, so many of you are probably asking… where did they go? Why were you not with them? Well… the answers to those questions are pretty easy. Serena and Gray spent the last week on the Italian coast just outside of Venice. And listen… I don’t want to hear it… I am jealous too.
A few months ago, Serena was informed of another business trip, this time just north of Venice. Now, the thing about her work is that she is contracted on a daily rate. So, no matter where in the world she is sent, she is paid per day. And her travel to get to the location comes out of her daily rate. It sounds weird, I know… it took some time for me to get used to it… but it really works since the daily rate is closer to what a normal person would make in a week… (But it evens out after travel costs are taken out) and most of the time she is contracted for two days worth of work which makes paying for her own travel totally cost effective. But, a couple of times she has only been contracted for one day… and that can cause some problems. This has only happened twice since being in Europe… the first being Croatia. Which is was only a four hour drive from home, so it was a no brainer. We turned it into a family trip.
The second time this happened was Venice. Which was a pretty “major” problem. You see, flying in and out of Belgrade isn’t exactly the cheapest endeavor in the world. Although Belgrade is the largest city in the former Yugoslavia, it is over shadowed by Budapest (which is only 4 hours away) when it comes to affordable airfare. As Serena began to research the trip it became very apparent that round trip airfare to Venice was going to be more expensive than driving eight hours and renting a condo off the beach for a week (off season). I am not pulling your leg… the condo for the week was about 150 Euro cheaper than her round trip airfare would have been… which comes out to be about $215.00 cheaper. Bargain? I think so.
Originally we talked about going as a family… but being that this is my first year in this new job and that we wanted a chance to return to the States for a visit sooner than later, eating up a whole week of annual leave just didn’t seem like it was in the cards.
So, Serena started talking to our neighbors and the next thing we knew… it was a mom’s trip (with kids). Which sounded great to me! And it was… for about a day and a half. Then it simply got down right boring.
But! They are back! Hurray! And Grayson and I had a wonderful time at his schools international day festival today for three hours while Serena finished up some work and recovered from the excessive driving.
The festival was a lot of fun, not just for Gray, but for me as well. A lot of my friends here have kids at the school so it was a very social time for everyone. And Gray and I won a restaurant gift certificate worth 3,000 Dinar (you can do the math yourself)!!! I also really enjoyed to time to simply be with Gray… I don’t like being way from him for extended lengths of time. He grows up too fast. I made some of my friends laugh today when I would ask Gray how he grew up fifteen years in just one week… it sounds funny… but it feels true.
The best part of the festival was when we went to the face painting booth and we were waiting in line. I asked him what he wanted painted… and he said… Luke Skywalker. I couldn’t help but laugh… but Gray was insistent. He wanted he face painted like Luke Skywalker.
Being that I am a total geek… all by brain could think of was… “does he want pre-car accident Mark Hamill, or post-car accident Mark Hamill?” Either way, I got some laughs when I asked if anyone knew how to paint Mark Hamill on my sons face…
In the end, we were able to distract him with a drawing of a Ninja Turtle. I think the teacher at the face painting station was thankful… she didn’t seem like a Star War fan.
So, for the rest of today we have been instructed to call Gray, “Raphael” … he has refused to wash his face… and is no longer calling Serena “mommy”, she is now “April”… and I…. I have been properly remained “Master Splinter”. I have to say that I am very impressed with Gray’s imaginative play skills. He is so in character that he has found two sticks (which he calls his “sai”) and alternately refers to me as “Teacher” and “Master”.
Now… I have to admit… I was a Star Wars and a Ninja Turtle freak growing up… but I have never pushed either on him. But, when he comes to me asking… “What is Star Wars”, “Who are the Ninja Turtles”… my hearth melts… and I know it is time for a serious father/son talk… “You know Gray? The Ninja turtles started out as normal turtles… just like the ones you have in the fish tank at school… but the people that had the Ninja turtle couldn’t take care of them and let them go into the wild of the New York City sewer system…”
Anyway, I won’t bore you with anymore… but I will tell you this… It was a wonderful conversation.
A few months ago, Serena was informed of another business trip, this time just north of Venice. Now, the thing about her work is that she is contracted on a daily rate. So, no matter where in the world she is sent, she is paid per day. And her travel to get to the location comes out of her daily rate. It sounds weird, I know… it took some time for me to get used to it… but it really works since the daily rate is closer to what a normal person would make in a week… (But it evens out after travel costs are taken out) and most of the time she is contracted for two days worth of work which makes paying for her own travel totally cost effective. But, a couple of times she has only been contracted for one day… and that can cause some problems. This has only happened twice since being in Europe… the first being Croatia. Which is was only a four hour drive from home, so it was a no brainer. We turned it into a family trip.
The second time this happened was Venice. Which was a pretty “major” problem. You see, flying in and out of Belgrade isn’t exactly the cheapest endeavor in the world. Although Belgrade is the largest city in the former Yugoslavia, it is over shadowed by Budapest (which is only 4 hours away) when it comes to affordable airfare. As Serena began to research the trip it became very apparent that round trip airfare to Venice was going to be more expensive than driving eight hours and renting a condo off the beach for a week (off season). I am not pulling your leg… the condo for the week was about 150 Euro cheaper than her round trip airfare would have been… which comes out to be about $215.00 cheaper. Bargain? I think so.
Originally we talked about going as a family… but being that this is my first year in this new job and that we wanted a chance to return to the States for a visit sooner than later, eating up a whole week of annual leave just didn’t seem like it was in the cards.
So, Serena started talking to our neighbors and the next thing we knew… it was a mom’s trip (with kids). Which sounded great to me! And it was… for about a day and a half. Then it simply got down right boring.
But! They are back! Hurray! And Grayson and I had a wonderful time at his schools international day festival today for three hours while Serena finished up some work and recovered from the excessive driving.
The festival was a lot of fun, not just for Gray, but for me as well. A lot of my friends here have kids at the school so it was a very social time for everyone. And Gray and I won a restaurant gift certificate worth 3,000 Dinar (you can do the math yourself)!!! I also really enjoyed to time to simply be with Gray… I don’t like being way from him for extended lengths of time. He grows up too fast. I made some of my friends laugh today when I would ask Gray how he grew up fifteen years in just one week… it sounds funny… but it feels true.
The best part of the festival was when we went to the face painting booth and we were waiting in line. I asked him what he wanted painted… and he said… Luke Skywalker. I couldn’t help but laugh… but Gray was insistent. He wanted he face painted like Luke Skywalker.
Being that I am a total geek… all by brain could think of was… “does he want pre-car accident Mark Hamill, or post-car accident Mark Hamill?” Either way, I got some laughs when I asked if anyone knew how to paint Mark Hamill on my sons face…
In the end, we were able to distract him with a drawing of a Ninja Turtle. I think the teacher at the face painting station was thankful… she didn’t seem like a Star War fan.
So, for the rest of today we have been instructed to call Gray, “Raphael” … he has refused to wash his face… and is no longer calling Serena “mommy”, she is now “April”… and I…. I have been properly remained “Master Splinter”. I have to say that I am very impressed with Gray’s imaginative play skills. He is so in character that he has found two sticks (which he calls his “sai”) and alternately refers to me as “Teacher” and “Master”.
Now… I have to admit… I was a Star Wars and a Ninja Turtle freak growing up… but I have never pushed either on him. But, when he comes to me asking… “What is Star Wars”, “Who are the Ninja Turtles”… my hearth melts… and I know it is time for a serious father/son talk… “You know Gray? The Ninja turtles started out as normal turtles… just like the ones you have in the fish tank at school… but the people that had the Ninja turtle couldn’t take care of them and let them go into the wild of the New York City sewer system…”
Anyway, I won’t bore you with anymore… but I will tell you this… It was a wonderful conversation.
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