Day 575: President’s Day

Honestly folks… I have a brand new respect for President’s day… My two weeks of paternity leave are over… but I get to stay home for just one more day. Oh, how brilliant it is. Thanks for the timing Gilliam!

Day 574: Happy Valentine’s Day

Serena, I love you babe! Thank you so much for the gift of our boys… and putting up with me.

Day 573: Truly Great Chocolate

Serena and I are pretty spoiled. You can get some truly great Chocolate over here. And the fact we have family and friends in Switzerland really helps too. A few days ago, Serena and I were gorging ourselves with fabulous chili chocolates and some ginger chocolate we picked up from the store, when Serena pondered, “I wonder why you can’t find chocolate this great in America… you would thing American’s would have discerning tastes when it comes to chocolate.”

After thinking about it for a moment, I responded, “Yes, but American’s also eat Kraft singles.”

Serena: “Good point.”

Day 572: SchutzHappens Family Video - January 2010, "Fish & CHiPs"

Day 571: The Birth Experience, Part 3: The 1st OB Doctor

Throughout the journey, our experience with OB’s has been both good and bad. The fact our first experience was so bad is probably why we are so opinionated about this subject today. But, at the same time it is very hard to vilify our first OB, I am sure she is very nice… and probably an excellent physician… but we wouldn’t really know since we barely ever got any time with her… and when she was around we were convinced she had some sort of social disorder which didn’t allow her to volunteer information or exhibit signs of tenderness.

The lack of these two traits became a very big deal with us.

When we first found out we were pregnant with Grayson, Serena was still working in Nashville. We ultimate had plans for her to move to Atlanta and have the baby, but for the time being she was going to stay in Nashville. She had only been in Nashville for a couple months and being new to the town she trusted her primary care physician and made an appointment with the referred OB. We’ll call her, Dr. Sourpuss.

At the time we were rocking the long-distance relationship and I rearranged my schedule and drove up from Atlanta for the appointment… which proved to be incredible disappointing.

After being relegated to the waiting room for two hours we were finally called to an examination room where we waited another thirty minutes. When the doctor arrived she quickly introduced herself, confirmed the due date, listened to Grayson heartbeat, wrote a prescription for prenatal vitamins, took a breath, and asked, “do you have any questions?” The whole scene went down so quickly, Serena was stunned to silence when the doctors question escaped her lips. After the fact Serena was like, “Do I have any questions? Of course I have questions, but where the hell do I even begin.” But in the situation, I don’t remember Serena having a question. But, what I do remember is the doctor asking about Serena’s thoughts about preferred method of delivery… when the doctor started going through the options, she led with “scheduled c-section.” That I remember.

Being our first visit to the office we believed the excuses the nurses were giving us… after all is you’re a baby doctor, people are very forgiving when you say the doctor is late because she is delivering a baby. And if she really was at a birth and tired, as we justified, we forgave her cold gruffness. But, in reality, we didn’t catch her on a bad day. Serena was consistently scheduled for appoints that wouldn’t actually start for hours… and Dr. Sourpuss was never any help when it came to Serena’s questions and concerns.

Serena quickly realized if she really wanted to know what was going on with her body, she was going to have to do the research herself, and rather than following blindly, we began to question.

What we found out was the following:

There seem to be two very different opposing views regarding childbirth.

1. Childbirth is something that is perfectly natural and women have been doing it successfully for years without assistance… so let’s keep medical intervention to a minimum.

2. Childbirth is an illness that should be dealt with through surgical means.

Now, Serena and I of course lean towards option one, but we also recognize the advances and benefits surgical methods have given to childbirth… especially when it comes to lowering the mortality rates of both mother and baby. We understand that birth can get complicated. But, we also feel that society has become too reliant on these surgical means. We choose to have our babies at birth centers associated with hospitals just in case. And thankfully, we haven’t needed to tap into those services. But, just because we are at a hospital doesn’t mean we need to have their surgical services shoved down our throat either.

Anyway, in the end Serena made the decision that she wanted to have a natural childbirth with Grayson and in order to do that, we also recognized Dr. Sourpuss would not be able to give us the kind of support in this decision as we needed. So… it became time to move on… earlier than anticipated.

Day 570: Grayson Turns 4!!!

It is really hard to believe Grayson is already turning four years old… and it is equally unbelievable that Grayson is now a big brother. It is hard for me to put into words how incredible proud I am of Grayson. He is so smart and funny and loving, all of the necessary traits of a truly great big brother.

I can’t help but look at him, seeing how much he has grown, and wonder what’s going on in his head. Being a big brother is something I can’t relate too. I’m the youngest in my family and the trip to big brotherdom wasn’t a journey I got to embark on. I have no idea how it feels. I understand what it feels like to be a father. I understand that kind of love… but big brother love is probably a little bit different.

Grayson is incredible with Gilliam. Grayson give him lots of kisses, wants to touch or be close to him, and he oozes a sense of pride in having Gilliam as part of the family. Yet, from time to time I can also sense a twinge of internalized jealousy, which is totally understandable; after all, he was an incredibly spoiled only child for almost four years. But I also see him work through those emotions, and having never been through them myself, I am incredibly impressed.

Over the last week, when it’s been just the two of us, we’ve been talking about it. I’ll ask him how it feels to be a big brother and Gray will do his best to put it into words… he is very happy to have Gilliam and can’t wait to teach him all about super heroes and Star Wars and sports… all the things big brother are supposed to teach their little brothers. I tell him how excited I am that he gets to be a big brother, reinforcing the gift he’s been given, and how he gets to be something that his father never got to be… which is an idea that always gives him a smile.

Even though I was only a little brother, I have a truly great big brother who taught me all the things that big brothers are supposed to teach their little brothers… and just a week after Gilliam’s birth, I look at Grayson and can’t help but think, “This must have been how Jimmy was with me.” And if Grayson grows up to be a big brother like my big brother, Gilliam is going to be a very lucky little boy.

All that being said, I do have concerns about Grayson’s taste in football teams; while watching Super Bowl highlights yesterday, Grayson heard the announcer say, “the Colts”… at which time Grayson began jumping up and down scream, “The Colts, the Colts! I love the Colts, they are my favorite team.” As I stopped twitching, I gave Serena a sideways glance, who was sporting a smug grin. I composed myself, looked at Grayson in the eye and said, “That’s great Grayson… if you like LOSERS!” (j/k). Don’t worry; Grayson will stop crying at some point. I’m not sure if I have time to deprogram the damage Serena has inflicted on our first born, but rest assured, I will be keeping Gilliam on a much shorter leash.

Lol.

Happy birthday my little man!

Day 569: Anita’s Milestone

Well folks. Today Anita, Serena’s mother, arrives in London. This marks her first international trip, which is a huge milestone. Which surprises me actually, because she lives in Indiana, in fairly close proximity to Indianapolis… which… you know… I would assume people would want to get themselves as far away as possible… but evidently not. GO SAINTS!

All kidding aside, this is a pretty big deal for Anita, she just said, “I feel like I’m having an out of body experience.” Lol. Well Anita, we are all very proud of you for biting the bullet and making the trip. Tomorrow is Grayson’s birthday and I know it will be extra special having his Grandma here to help celebrate.

And to help prepare her for her week in London or anyone else traveling to England for that matter, Rick Gervais and Daivd Letterman have prepared a, what not to say, lesson for all American's: