Day 647: Wacky Website of the Week – CrazyPatents.com

In honor of all the amazing Patent Attorney’s in my life… one of whom seems to be addicted to this blog… and since I am not above pandering to my audience base… I dedicate today to Crazy Patents!

Also, since I’m not above bathroom humor either… I’m linking you directly to the bathroom “crazy patent” page:

http://www.crazypatents.com/htmls/bathroom.htm

Most notably, the toilet bowl target intended to “attract the attention of urinating male humans”. I don’t know… but this seems like a very poorly written patent. Why limit this to “humans”. I’ve seen “Meet the Parents”, humans are not the only species who uses the toilet… by limiting your product to humans; you are opening the door to copy cats marketing to other species. I’m just saying…

All in all, I was expecting more from this site. There are some very strange things if you surf around, like the “Toe Puppets”, “Jet Powered Surfboard” , “Dust Cover for Dog “ and a “Flushable Vehicle Spittoon”.

However, I find most of these “crazy” patents are extremely practical things like the “Portable Bar”, “Novelty Sports Hat”, “Birthday Cake Candle Extinguisher”, “Motorized Ice Cream Cone” and “Wing Apparatus for Skiers”. I mean… COME ON! These ideas are not crazy… they are genius!

Frankly, this site is a letdown. Spend a good thirty minutes with an honest to God patent attorney and they will have you rolling on the floor laughing… in tears even… well… maybe not tears… but the stories are pretty darn good.

Site improvement recommendation: Give the reader some back ground on the inventor! Why were they inspired to design such “crazy” things? Like they say in the movie “Robots”, “See a need, fill a need.” What need was the “Wing Apparatus for Skiers” filling?

Hmmm…

Day 646: London – British Children’s Shows

One of the most peculiar things I noticed about life in London, as an American, was children’s television programming. For the most part, the Brit’s air the same shows PBS and Nick Jr air in the States… although; they are all redubbed with British accents. At first Serena and I found this odd, however we quickly accepted this change. You know? It’s important for children to hear voices that sound like their own. Right? After all, most children’s shows are made in the States… or Canada. You know what I’m talking “aboot”.

Although… I don’t believe we redub shows in the States. If I remember correctly, Peppa Pig, Charlie and Lola, and the Upside Down Show are NOT redubbed for American Audiences.

Anyway, for the most part the redubbing was okay. However, there were two shows in particular that we found… how should I say? Umm… we found them annoying and strange.

As you can imagine, animated shows would lend themselves easily to redubbing. Shows like “Super Why?” were perfectly normal once you got used to the different voices and accents. But, this redubbing completely ruined one of our household favorites: “The Backyardigans”. Why? The singing was HORRIBLE!

In the States, the focus of The Backyardigan’s is to promote imaginative play while also encouraging the performance arts through song and dance. And I have to admit, the stories and music featured on you average episode of Backyardigan’s is quite good. The music is very catchy and I catch myself singing their songs to myself from time to time.

But, then again, in the State’s they use professional singers to record the songs. However, in the UK, they don’t. The British version is so utterly and completely painful, singing wise, that I can stop pummeling myself in the head with the most accessible blunt object. Seriously folks… vocally, it’s like watching a second grade choral recital. Production value people! Production value!

Day 645: London – Poor Hygiene is Bad for Business

Strange observations seemed to be the cornerstone of my time in London. But this one really tickled me. It was an ad campaign encouraging business owners to adhere to national hygiene regulations. The campaign was titled “Good Business”.

Now, when I first saw this poster I thought the ad campaign was incredibly bold… at least from an American perspective. I repeatedly saw the same poster featuring the dim interior of an Indian Restaurant and the restaurants bewildered looking manager. The caption? “Poor Hygiene is Bad for Business.” Follow the link below to see it for yourself.

http://www.food.gov.uk/multimedia/pdfs/publication/posterindianresturant.pdf

Could you imagine this kind of awareness campaign going on in the United States? What do you think the Indian-American population would do in the States? Crazy.

I was so taken back by the poster that I jotted down the website to take a closer look. As it turns out, this poster was one of five in circulation. Also included were Gastro Bars, Chinese restaurants, Sandwich bars, and Fish and Chips shops. See below:

http://www.food.gov.uk/multimedia/pdfs/publication/postergastro.pdf

http://www.food.gov.uk/multimedia/pdfs/publication/posterchineserestaurant.pdf

http://www.food.gov.uk/multimedia/pdfs/publication/postersandwichbar.pdf

http://www.food.gov.uk/multimedia/pdfs/publication/posterchipshop.pdf

So, in the end, I guess there was a certain amount of diversity in the campaign, however, I only noticed the Indian poster in my neighborhood.

Hmmm… what five types of restaurants would you opt to throw under the bus? That’s my question of the day!

Day 644: Product Review - Keurig Single-Cup Home-Brewing System

100 STARS

Okay… how do I put this? If you are a coffee drinker… owning a Keurig coffee system… is like… winning the Masters ever morning for the rest of your life!

http://www.amazon.com/Keurig-B60-Special-Single-Cup-Home-Brewing/dp/B000AQSMPO/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=home-garden&qid=1271342372&sr=8-2-spell

Day 643: Poisonous Vietnamese River Fish! It’s What’s For Dinner!

So… okay… I don’t even know where to begin. I… well… hmmm… so, shopping in Serbia can be a bit of an adventure sometimes, especially at the meat counters of grocery stores. This, of course, is due to the language barrier. Meat is cut differently here, so it’s hard to identify the part of the animal the cut comes from… and unless it’s salmon or still has a head, fish is very hard to identify. So, when Serena gets home from the store, it’s not uncommon for her to get on the computer and run a translation to identify exactly what she just bought.

A few weeks ago, she bought a very nice looking piece of white fish… and after looking it up? Well… I can’t really comment on it… just take a look:

http://www.dietmindspirit.org/2008/01/30/why-you-shouldnt-eat-this-fish-pangas-pangasius-vietnamese-river-cobbler-white-catfish-gray-sole/

Day 642: Happy Birthday Willy-Boy!

“There was a star danced, and under that was I born.” - William Shakespeare

What a great quote!

That’s right folks… I couldn’t let Willy’s birthday pass without taking a moment to pay my respects.

And interestingly enough, there is a little bit of Shakespeare going on right here in Belgrade. Ralph Fiennes is in town directing a film version of his favorite Shakespeare play: Coriolanus.

Coriolanus is a pretty interesting choice for a feature length film because it’s one of those plays only Shakespeare-Nuts know or care about. Notably, this will be the 7^th time Coriolanus will be put on film yet it could make history by being the first to be released to English speaking theatre audiences. And get this… it’s been 26 years since it was last produced.

First, in 1948, Studio One condensed the story of Coriolanus into one 60 minute episode.

Second, in 1963, the BBC produced a 9 part Mini Series based on the play. They called it “The Spread of Eagle”… because simply calling it “Coriolanus” wasn’t dirty enough for those cheeky bastards.

Third, a year later, in 1964, the Italian’s produced from what I’ve read, a horrible boring piece of rubbish based on the play.

Fourth, again, the following year, in 1965 the Brit’s finally realized “Coriolanus” is dirty enough to stand on its own and nine hours of iambic pentameter is more than any human being can take, so… They scaled down the production and relaunched it as a TV Movie of the week! Oddly enough, The Hallmark Cannel has not picked this version up for syndication.

Fifth, in 1979, Denzel Washington makes his film debut as “Roman Soldier” alongside future “Glory” co-star Morgan Freeman… who was playing the slightly more pivotal role of Coriolanus. The film went straight to video and was never heard from again. This film is so obscure that James Lipton hasn’t mentioned it on “Inside the Actors Studio”.

Sixth, in 1984, the BBC re-organized again and launched yet another production of “Coriolanus”. Incidentally, this is the ONLY version of the play available for purchase on Amazon.

Honorable mention: There have been two German “versions” of the play produced. One in 1950 and the other in 1978. However, they are based on an adaptation credited to Bertolt Brecht… sorry dude! It’s not your birthday… so you don’t count!

So, finally… here we are, 26 years later, gearing up for a brand spanking new installment of “Coriolanus” directed by He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named. I’m totally stoked! Mainly because their filming in Belgrade… I’m really interested in seeing how he plans to use the city.

Oh, and I almost forgot. Ralph was on Serena and Gray’s flight to London in December. He flew over during a break in shooting the new Harry Potter movie to do some pre-production work. His British Airways flight was canceled and he ended up on Serena’s JAT flight.

But alas… Serena neglected to get a picture of Grayson sitting in his lap. HOW DOES THIS NOT HAPPEN?

Day 641: London Series - Hallmark Stores

Riddle me this. It’s been a while since I’ve been in a Hallmark store in the States. Have they turned to the dark side? Have they become uber-trendy-disgust-o-piles? The reason I ask is this:

While in London, I took Grayson to a Hallmark store to pick out a Valentine ’s Day card for Serena… and I couldn’t help but feel a little dirty. The store didn’t feel like Hallmark… it felt like had walked into a “Spenser’s Gifts”. You know the store I am talking about. The trashy mall gift store? The Hallmark store in London was pretty much a Spenser’s that has a greeting card section. It was really strange.

In my mind, Hallmark is the kind of store you can take your grandma to… has it really turned into a store dedicated to gag gifts for immature prepubescent boys?

Thank about it… get back to me.