London, winter time, and as I waited for the Underground train with my good buddy Costello, I knew we shouldn’t go… the voice inside my head screamed, however, I wouldn’t listen… even though I knew. Dang it, why hadn’t I listened?
Nothing good ever comes from going to IKEA… especially a trip to IKEA… for a chair.
It’s rather hard to explain, but this wasn’t my first skirmish with a chair. I had met chairs in battle many times before this and I am sure there will be many more battle still to come. For every great hero is destined to fight at least one epic villain. Superman has Lex Luther, Spiderman has the Green Goblin, Conan O’Brien has NBC, and I have chairs.
A few years ago, I thought about swearing off of them entirely… and then my feet started to hurt and I wanted to sit down. Those devilish chairs always get me right where they want me… off balance.
Costello knew what we were up against, I could tell by the look in his eyes. This wasn’t the first time he’d stood by my side in battle. Costello is the Robin to my Batman, the Bing Crosby to my Bob Hope… the Sammy Hagar to my David Lee Roth… if only that last made sense.
As the train pulled into Baker Street Station, Costello gave me the nod… the “I’m ready for anything” nod. And he was… we were… we stepped onto the train and it was games time. We knew what we had to do. Give IKEA ‘the business’...
… but we should have known. Oh, sorrow… we should have known.
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