Okay, “The Chair” is going much longer than I had originally anticipated… which is cool… I am totally in the zone and I am diggin’ it… I hope you are too. Heck, I’m so engrossed in my own transcendental meanderings (and National Friendship Week) that I completely and totally missed International Suit Up Day, www.suitupday.com. Will you ever forgive me? Can we celebrate together next year? Why would you say that? I would never forget International Talk like a Pirate Day. It’s going to be legen--- wait for it—DARY!
Ummm… yeah… sure… huh… nothing could be more appropriate to follow that, then a little shop talk… business… the bane of my existence: Bidding.
If you are not familiar with the word ‘bidding’ in the context of work then you’re probably not associated with the Foreign Service… or your probably one of the few responsible folks who do all of your eBay shopping at home.
In the Foreign Service, ‘bidding’ refers to the process of choosing our next assignments… our next jobs… our next homes. It all sounds very glamorous, huh? Ummm… no.
You see, ‘bidding’ isn’t really bidding at all. It’s applying for a job. How do I know this? Well, the last time I bid on anything, I wasn’t asked to submit an updated resume, references, and an appropriate time for an interview. These things never happen on eBay! And most importantly, when I have the winning bid, I’m never invited to go work for the auctioneer! That happens when I’m offered a job that I apply for.
And that is what the folks in the Foreign Service do best: apply for jobs. We’re good at it. It took a year and a half from the time I submitted my first application to the day I completed all of the rounds of competency test, medical test, security screening, interviews, and flaming potato catching and actually started my new job. It was intense! When was the last time you had to pursue a job for a year and a half? I know! Crazy-Town!
So, yeah, it totally makes sense… if it takes a year and a half to get the job… why not reapply every two to three years just to keep your job!
Okay, I’m better… really I am… .
Folks, let’s all have a set on the carpet and talk.
Basic, basic, basic low level Human Recourses ‘THEORY’ states the following: If two people hold the same position and are of the same pay grade/seniority, in theory, they should be interchangeable.
What do I mean? Well, if Grayson and Gilliam are hired as Political Officers and Grayson is a Grade 3/Step 2 and Gilliam is a Grade 3/Step 1 … then Grayson is the more senior Political Officer. However, if Grayson and Gilliam were both Grade 3/Step 2 Political Officers, theory would suggest they were capable of doing the same job.
However, no one likes to be part of a theory… or thought to be interchangeable… especially in the Foreign Service, so we’ve added an extra layer to the madness. In order to show his dominance, Grayson must now use his resume, references and superior interview skills to make himself look better than the rest of the Grade 3/Step 2 Political Officers all over the world.
Oh, and there is also another more shameless and somewhat shady side to bidding… it’s called “cashing in on your friendships.” If you happen to know someone who once knew another person who worked for the guy who used to know the woman who once shared a bagel with the person in charge of hiring for the position you want, then, you can cash in a favor and have all those folks announce how awesome you are and how great of an addition you would be for the Embassy you want to work in.
BTW… have I mentioned my bid list yet?
1. Montevideo, Uruguay
2. Panama City, Panama
3. Lima, Peru
4. Tallinn, Estonia
5. Geneva, Switzerland
6. Brussels, Belgium
Do me a favor… tell them I’m awesome!
“Oh, no he didn’t!”
Oh, yes I did.
Peace out my little Happeners!
2 comments:
Montevideo - probably No. 1 or No. 2 on our first bid list. A toss up between there and Maputo. Alas, we got No. 33 instead.
Yeah, I hear Montevideo is really nice... and Maputo as well. Seriously, number 33? Erg. That had to have been frustrating. Where did you end up?
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