The train still hadn’t arrived and Costello began to get restless, “We’ve been waiting here a long time.”
“Yes we have... too long in fact… it’s time for the Glider Chair story.”
You see, back in the States, after having Grayson we got this really nice hand-me-down glider chair… I can’t remember where this chair came from… but I’m pretty sure about this single fact. The chair was forged in hell.
For those of you who haven’t met Serena yet or don’t know about this adorable trait of hers, let me explain. Serena has a pathological need to rock… even if the chair doesn’t… she’ll just sit and move back and forth incessantly. Sometimes when we’re sharing a stationary couch and she worked herself into a rocking frenzy, bobbing in and out of my peripheral vision while we watch TV… I will start to get a little seasick. So, I’ll have to position myself in such a way were she doesn’t invade my line of sight. So, with the addition of her very own glider chair small portion of my sanity was saved… at least for a little while.
Even with the chair carefully positioned out of my peripherals… the chair turned on me… after a couple months… it started to squeak… and it squeaked BAD!
Folks… I spend hours, days, and entire weekends trying to figure out where the squeak was going from.
Armed with a screw driver and a can of WD40 I went to war with this chair. And I won! So I thought.
After a long afternoon of tightening and loosening screws and oiling the chairs moving parts I would sit and rock.
Silence.
Perfect, blissful silence. I won!
And then, later in the evenings, after my successful battles with the glider chair, Serena would sit and rock… and the chair would squeak, Squeak, SQUEAK!
The chair was mocking me. Laughing at me, just like the dang wedding chairs!
There was nothing I could do about it… after my fifth attempt at ‘fixing’ the chair I realized the squeak was a weight compression issue. The chair didn’t squeak when I was sitting in it because I was heavy enough to compress all of the moving parts, rendering them silent. Serena simply wasn’t heavy enough.
As a solution I suggested we eat more processed foods and pasta… but that didn’t fly with Serena. So instead… I found myself wandering aimlessly though Home Depot looking for heavy things… and then dreaming up ways to attach those items to the bottom of the chair. In the end I developed a plan which involved attaching ceramic tiles to the bottom of the chair… but I never tested it out… we joined the Foreign Service and we exiled the chair to Hagerstown.
But I am sure we will meet again Glider Chair… our battle is far from over.
“Yes we have... too long in fact… it’s time for the Glider Chair story.”
You see, back in the States, after having Grayson we got this really nice hand-me-down glider chair… I can’t remember where this chair came from… but I’m pretty sure about this single fact. The chair was forged in hell.
For those of you who haven’t met Serena yet or don’t know about this adorable trait of hers, let me explain. Serena has a pathological need to rock… even if the chair doesn’t… she’ll just sit and move back and forth incessantly. Sometimes when we’re sharing a stationary couch and she worked herself into a rocking frenzy, bobbing in and out of my peripheral vision while we watch TV… I will start to get a little seasick. So, I’ll have to position myself in such a way were she doesn’t invade my line of sight. So, with the addition of her very own glider chair small portion of my sanity was saved… at least for a little while.
Even with the chair carefully positioned out of my peripherals… the chair turned on me… after a couple months… it started to squeak… and it squeaked BAD!
Folks… I spend hours, days, and entire weekends trying to figure out where the squeak was going from.
Armed with a screw driver and a can of WD40 I went to war with this chair. And I won! So I thought.
After a long afternoon of tightening and loosening screws and oiling the chairs moving parts I would sit and rock.
Silence.
Perfect, blissful silence. I won!
And then, later in the evenings, after my successful battles with the glider chair, Serena would sit and rock… and the chair would squeak, Squeak, SQUEAK!
The chair was mocking me. Laughing at me, just like the dang wedding chairs!
There was nothing I could do about it… after my fifth attempt at ‘fixing’ the chair I realized the squeak was a weight compression issue. The chair didn’t squeak when I was sitting in it because I was heavy enough to compress all of the moving parts, rendering them silent. Serena simply wasn’t heavy enough.
As a solution I suggested we eat more processed foods and pasta… but that didn’t fly with Serena. So instead… I found myself wandering aimlessly though Home Depot looking for heavy things… and then dreaming up ways to attach those items to the bottom of the chair. In the end I developed a plan which involved attaching ceramic tiles to the bottom of the chair… but I never tested it out… we joined the Foreign Service and we exiled the chair to Hagerstown.
But I am sure we will meet again Glider Chair… our battle is far from over.
2 comments:
There's nothing much more annoying in the world than squeaks - except maybe people who whistle.
You made it to the State Blog Roundup. If you don't want to be on it, then please let me know! Follow this link to reach the roundup:
http://wifemommywoman.blogspot.com/2010/08/state-dept-blog-roundup.html
Enjoy!
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